


Beast and Blood

by sunnyautumnmorning



Category: Skyrim
Genre: Angst, Family Loss, Friendship/Love, Jealousy, Love, Male-Female Friendship, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 21:20:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 42
Words: 100,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5390834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnyautumnmorning/pseuds/sunnyautumnmorning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phenarie-lost and alone in the world during a troubled time in Skyrim now. Along the way she discovers who she is, what she is and she is terrified at what that means.<br/>Will she survive and accept who she is to become? Will she find what her heart needs to overcome the losses that she has been dealt?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Phreya

**Author's Note:**

> This prologue was written by RainySpringMorning to accompany the story.

I’m wandering in the dark, alone and frightened. The sunlight is hidden behind the thick enclosure of the trees above and the sound of wild, hungry animals is close. I stumble over rocks and roots, whimpering and crying, feeling more and more lost with the further I walk. I want to sit down and cry, but at the same time, I don’t want to stop walking. I need to find Phenarie.  
The trees rattle and shake beside me and I hardly keep in a cry of fear. I half-run half-stagger, my boots squelching into the mud, tears blinding me. Branches whip my face; my heart is a fluttering bird in my throat. I cannot breathe, I cannot see. There’s a noise, a sudden thwap! I whirl, looking behind me, my eyes round in my face. I don’t know what the noise was. I’m not sure if I want to know. I want to call out for my sister, but terror seals my lips.  
I see a figure, clothes that are red and brown. I don’t recognize the person. I start to back away.  
The strange sound whistles through the air again and I feel a sudden sharpness in my throat. I raise my hand, my fingers touching something wet and thick. Confusion, followed by fear, settles over me. I fall to the ground, my chest heaving, and the taste of blood on my tongue.  
As cold fingers bite into me and the dim sunlight turns to grey, I have one last chilling thought: _Phenarie…where are you?_


	2. Phenarie

Last Seed was at full height and the air hung dry and warm with humidity beginning to build with the afternoon sun.  
Birds of various varieties flitted from branch to branch, twittering to their mates to come and see come and see. They sat on branches and peered down to the form lying still beneath their perches.  
A small red fox crept close to the form and sniffed then darted away quickly; human! A rabbit sat washing its ear oblivious to any danger.  
A doe, with her fawn, nimbly picked her way through the brush stopping to nibble on leaves, her tail swishing to keep the flies away.  
Crows began to land in the trees, attracted by the blood splattered on the bushes and ground, their beady eyes watching and waiting to see if the human was dead before they would descend.

~~*~~

I awoke, gasping for air, to feel the slight touch of sun rays gently caressing my bruised and bloodied cheek, and found my almost-naked body lying on the damp mossy ground beneath me. Light filtered lazily through the dense green leaves above me and the closely woven thicket of brambles around me.  
The sound of crows, cawing overhead in the branches, caused me to look around.

My swollen mouth tasted of iron and I felt a loose tooth lying on my tongue. My tongue tried to find the hole, from whence it came, and as it touched the spot, I winced in discomfort.  
Struggling to sit up, I groaned in agony as I discovered a broken rib. My breath caught in a parched and bruised throat as I failed to spit the loose tooth onto my palm.  
After some exertion, I managed to roll onto my knees, and then up onto unsteady feet. Bones popped and joints screamed in pain; I discovered cuts, scrapes and the beginnings of several bruises on my arms and legs.  
I looked up and at my surroundings. The dark forest loomed before me and spun in circles; blood dripped into my eyes and I winced in pain from a nasty gash on my head. I was disarmed and my hide armor was gone. I wore only a thin rough tunic and underclothes.

I stood, swaying uneasily, as I tried to recall how I had come to find myself in this situation. It was as if a cloud had wrapped itself, around my brain, shrouding the truth; no details were quick to come to me. Grimacing, I finally spat the tooth and a wad of blood onto the ground and studied it for a moment; white against red, a silent rage built inside me; someone was going to be held accountable for that, teeth were a valuable asset to someone who liked to eat as I did.

As memories slowly swirled and returned, I called out my sister’s name, thinking she might be nearby and I prayed she had not met the same fate as I. I searched for signs of my sister who’d been traveling with me to Solitude. Failing to find her, I stumbled through the forest, my cries for her becoming more frantic. Silence was my returned answer.

I crested a small hill, sliding down an embankment, landing hard at the bottom.

And there she was-Phreya.

A gasp rose in my throat and I ran to her.  
  
Her tiny body was covered in her own blood and filth and her clothes and knapsack were gone. An arrow protruded from her throat and her glassy blank eyes stared emptily into the sky.

Falling to my knees, I threw my head back and screamed. I sat cradling her limp, lifeless body in my arms but for how long, I don’t know.

Eventually, I buried her body tenderly under stones, and picked wildflowers to lie on top of the stone cairn. Tears streamed down my face, mixing with the blood from my head wound, and anger racked my body as the tears turned to sobs.

I turned away and stopped to have one last glance over my shoulder to where she lay, to sleep the last sleep; I swore to avenge her death. No one would be spared my wrath.  
I needed to find my bearings and quickly; night was descending rapidly and I dared not spend much more time in this unknown forest unarmed.  
I said goodbye, my heart breaking at having to do so, and moved forward.

~~*~~

Finding my way through the dense green thicket was not so easy; what I wouldn’t give for an axe to hack the growth back.  
The floor of the forest was wrought with roots jutting from the ground, rabbit holes, fallen tree branches and jagged rocks. Brambles scratched at my exposed skin, pulling my hair, trying to gouge my eyes, and thorns pierced my skin.  
Somewhere an owl hooted; the dark moonless night brought creatures with glowing eyes and sounds that would have startled even the stoutest of hearts.

I traveled on through the bush, stumbling and falling for what seemed hours. Through the branches, I could see the shimmer of light flickering and then smell the scent of a fire.  
There was the clanking of metal, horses whickering, and men’s voices rose in song to match the strumming of a lute.  
I was unsure whether the camp belonged to friend or foe, but either way, the smell of roasting meat, and the prospect of mead or ale lured me closer.  
I crashed into the encampment with all the grace of a mammoth dancing ‘round a fire.  
Slumping to my knees, I fell over, gasping.

Blackness took me into her arms, and through the soft velvety haze, I saw the deepest blue eyes blinking at me as I succumbed to the darkness.

~~*~~

My wounds were being bathed gently and bandaged as I struggled to open my eyes.

A soft voice soothed my uneasiness. “Easy, friend, you have a nasty wound on your head. I need to clean it before it becomes infected. Be calm. You are in the company of friends.”

A cup touched my lips; water was offered to me and I drank greedily choking and spluttering. “Easy…take it slowly.” The soft voice said.

My hand held tightly to the cup and I refused to let go.

I murmured my thanks and I sank back down into the welcome darkness and slept.

 


	3. Capture and Escape

The sound of shouts, harsh words, and swords being drawn and struck together woke me. A scream shattered the air followed by a thud close to me. I struggled to focus on my surroundings; a body lies beside me, face down with a sword sticking out of their back.   
I was roughly pulled to my feet and my hands were bound tightly.

“Easy with her!” a voice cried out. “Can’t you see she is injured?”

“Humph, she’ll be in worse shape when the Headsman deals with her,” a gruff female voice snaps. “I would worry more about your own neck, you Stormcloak bastard.”

I tried desperately to focus on what was happening, but my head was still so fuzzy. Stormcloaks? Had I blundered into a Stormcloak encampment? That was probably one of the last places I would have wanted to end up, but an Imperial Camp would have been far worse.   
But it was far worse—the Imperials were there in the Stormcloak camp.

As we were thrown into the back of a shabby wooden cart, my knees scraped the bottom painfully. I grimaced and bit down on my tongue to stop myself from cursing. I was shoved forward and I plunked down onto the bench seat across from a Nord.

At the head of the procession, a single soldier rode a glossy ebony steed followed by a cart with three men and one woman soldier, all bound in shackles, in the back. The cart I was in had prisoners of its own; there was a man dressed in a Stormcloak uniform in front of me. He was a fair-haired Nord, who looked gentle and kind; his eyes the deepest of blue. He reminded me of the one who had looked after me. He smiled and nodded to me, but did not speak. He hung his head in submission instead.

The man to my right was another Nord, this one the size of a grizzly; strawberry- blonde haired, tanned, bearded and gagged. I was sure he was in command by his dress. He turned to look into my eyes; I could see the glint of hatred, and wondered if it was directed at me or our captors. I looked away.

The third in our party I immediately placed as a thief, by his shady disposition; his darting eyes and his nimble fingers were tell-tale as he worked the bindings at his wrists.   
I had a severe distaste for thieves, as I had dealt with them at home.   
They had targeted our home several times and our village and it was very upsetting to have to replace the work that one had done, over and over again. Those that expected to profit off the backs of others hard work were at best poor members of the world and I did not think that they had the right to even draw breath. I scowled at the thief, hoping he would at least begin to feel more uncomfortable than I felt at that moment.

The procession was followed by a single soldier, riding proudly on the back of a mean-looking bay gelding. The soldier’s eyes were fixed on the Nord with the blue eyes across from me.

I tried to clear my throat and speak but I was still very parched. The sun beat down unforgivably on us and I slipped into an unconscious state, lulled by the sway of the cart and my head injury.

~~*~~

I looked over at the young woman sitting across from me, her pale blonde hair hanging down covering her face. Her body was covered in cuts and bruises, and her rough-spun tunic hanging limp on her thin body. The bandage I had wrapped around her head had begun to stain crimson.   
She was a Breton, a race of people from High Rock, proud and fierce and known to use magic. To me, she looked like a hunter, with her lean arms and callused fingers.   
Whatever she was, I wondered why she was here with us and what had led her to being captured by the Imperials. Was she just in the wrong place at the wrong time? Was she using Darkwater Crossing to escape some intrigue, or was she running from danger?   
She was so young, yet her eyes—when they opened and looked into mine while I was cleaning her wounds—seemed to be so full of life, but not the kind you wanted to see. She was trapped like an animal in a cage now, and that spirit was being bruised by the damned Imperials. I hoped that where we were going she would be spared, somehow, but I doubted that. With General Tullius leading us to, undeniably, a fate that would be a misfortune to us all…this girl was likely to die with all of us.

~~*~~   
  


“Hey you, you’re finally awake. Just in time, we are almost at Helgen.”

I struggled to sit upright and see this Helgen. It was the fair-haired Nord with the gentle voice and blue eyes who had spoken. Wooden walls loomed in front of us and the carts slowed as they opened the gates. Inside watchtowers stood silently watching. People were scurrying around avoiding the carts as they entered the yard. We wove through Helgen past people standing on their porches, whispering and pointing at us.

Someone cried out “Damn Stormcloaks!”

A young boy asked who we were; his father told him to go inside. A young man spat at our cart as it passed by him. A woman with a basket of food looked on, sadness on her face.

The Nord continued to speak. “I was once sweet on a girl from here. There was a man, Vilod, who made the best mead with Juniper berries. I wonder if he still makes it. What I wouldn’t give for a bottle right now,” he said wistfully.

The carts came to a stop. “Why are the carts stopping?” asked the thief nervously.

“End of the line,” the Nord sighed. “Let’s not keep the gods waiting.”

We stepped off the cart and stood quietly, heads hung down waiting while the guard called our names.

“Ulfric Stormcloak, Jarl of Windhelm. Ralof of Riverwood. Lokir of Rorikstead.”

“I’m not part of this!” Lokir ran for his life as fast as legs would carry him.

Part of me hoped he would make it.

“Archers!” There was a twang as the arrow was released and Lokir screamed as he fell to the ground.

I lowered my eyes and offered a prayer.

The guard paused and looked at this list then towards me. “Wait. You there. Step forward. Who are you, prisoner?”

I hesitated; I knew never to give my real name in a situation like this. I could not trust these damn Imperials. “Helene of Shornhelm.” Hoping my trembling voice would not give me away.

“Captain, what should we do? She is not on the list.” the Imperial soldier turned to his superior.

“She goes to the block.” She responded harshly.

I swallowed hard. No, this was not happening. How could a trip to Solitude have turned into this disaster? I wished now that I had never left home.

_Home-it was where I had learned hard lessons; lessons about the cruelty of life and the unfairness that it so often handed to people. My father and brothers had been in the war and died on the cold muddy battlefield. Their ideals of bringing unity to our land died with them. My mother became ill with worry and eventually died leaving me to fend for my little sister. I was not much older than she and was not capable of the responsibility thrust on me; hence our journey to Solitude to a distant relative of my mothers who agreed to take my little sister in. Her face swam before my eyes; she died with an arrow in her throat, an Imperial arrow I now believed. I felt a deep-seated hatred towards these Imperials now, with their lists and their captures of innocents just to appease the Thalmor._

I walked unsteadily towards the block and knelt, trying to avoid the blood, spilled by the Stormcloak who lost his head before me. His head lay staring up to the sky, his body still warm beside me. The stench of death hung in the air and I wanted to vomit. I prayed to Kynareth to take my soul and deliver it to the four winds. I hoped that where I was going that I would see my family once more and we would finally have the peace we searched for.

Lowering my head onto the block I heard what I thought was the distant rumble of thunder.   
Dark clouds began to gather overhead and I felt a sudden rush of hot air on my face and in my ears the sound of a thousand winds blowing fiercely.

“What was that?” someone asked.

“It was nothing.” An Imperial soldier stated.

“Get on with it!” The soldier that led our procession ordered.

“Yes, General Tullius.”

One of the Imperial guards pointed to the sky behind the tower. “Look!”

A huge black object filled the sky and landed on top of the tower. It was a dragon! It opened its jaws and a force of wind blasted over the courtyard. Dust, loose stones and sand filled the air, fire and smoke followed and it was if the gates of Oblivion had opened to swallow us all. A scream followed by shouts and orders broke my trance.

Soldiers ran, though their faces showed fear, as they mustered to fight the black dragon.

I tried to get to my feet and escape but I was too weak.

“If you want to live prisoner, get up now and come with me!” A hand pulled me up roughly; it was the Nord with the deep blue eyes-Ralof of Riverwood, once again to my rescue.

We ran for cover towards the nearest watchtower as hell rained down from above; chunks of stone, dirt fire and bodies.

 


	4. Of Dragon and Stone

I stood inside the watchtower door in disbelief and watched what flew in the air. An immense black dragon the size of an inn streaked across the sky and circled back to grab an Imperial soldier from the parapets surrounding the courtyard. His screams caused my blood to run cold as he was hurled to the ground.

Ralof pulled me away from the door and slammed it shut. “I don’t believe it. Is that a dragon?”

“Aye, that it is, damn Thalmor have one to fight for them.” Ulfric muttered.

“No one can control a dragon.” Ralof said.

“Well, someone is and if it is not the Thalmor than who? General Tullius? He couldn’t control his troops let alone a dragon. No Ralof, I fear the Thalmor and their elfish witchery.” Ulfric stepped from the shadows, his eyes in my direction.

Ulfric turned to look out the window at the slaughter happening in the courtyard. He sighed heavily, realizing that the battle had just taken a new direction that would certainly result in a massive defeat; perhaps for all of those involved or not.

“Quick up the stairs, we have to get to the tower.” Ralof urged me.

A Stormcloak soldier hovered over a dying comrade, offering what little comfort he could. He ran for the stairs ahead of us.

Our way was blocked by rocks that had fallen from the roof. The soldier stopped to start moving them when suddenly a wall burst in upon us and the dragon thrust its immense head in and released a torrent of fire engulfing the young Stormcloak. I shuddered and looked away, Ralof turned to me once the dragon retreated.

He looked down and pointed to the building closest to us. “See that inn, jump to there. We’ll follow along as soon as we can. Good luck, prisoner.”

I turned to Ralof, “My name is Phenarie, not Helene.”

Ralof smiled, “Aye, now jump Phenarie and good luck.”

I jumped and managed not to injure myself as I scrabbled down through the smashed floor boards.  
Poking my head around the corner of the wall, I spied a young boy standing in the middle of the road, bending over what I took to be his injured father. He shook his father's shoulder, begging him to wake up. The man did not appear to be alive.

Closing in on from above the boy was the dragon; mouth open, talons outstretched ready to grab and maim. An Imperial soldier with his back to me, shouted to the boy to move, but he stood protectively over his father. The soldier shouted again, this time with more authority in his voice. The boy hesitated for a moment than ran just as the dragon released a spout of flame to where the boy had stood.

An Imperial soldier who was crouching,waiting by the wall and took hold of the boy.

“Gunnar, keep Haming safe.” The soldier who had told the boy moved issued. He turned and spied me at the corner of the wall watching. “Still alive prisoner?” he called over to me. “If you want to stay that way than follow me.”

It was the Imperial soldier that sat proudly in the saddle behind the cart I had rode into Helgen in.

We ran past the body of the father then between a building and wall. “Stay near the wall prisoner.” He shouted just as the dragon landed on top of the wall above us and released yet another fountain of fire.

~~*~~

His wing was only inches from my body and I could see the veins running through the membrane that though looked delicate, was tough as steel and as it curved it reveal a claw razor sharp with a deadly point.  
The heat emanating from him could be likened to a blacksmiths’ forge. His skin as black as night, with spikes that looked deadly that graced his head and neck. Upon his head a curved horn protruded.

I stared up at the underside of the dragons’ throat and watched as the fire shone red through the skin. He looked down for a second into my eyes with eyes that glowed like the blacksmith’s forge.  
I thought he would kill me right there, releasing his fury in fire and smoke.

Something stirred within me and I felt strangely drawn to the beast. He snorted and flew off to continue his carnage elsewhere. I felt the urge to follow and I almost ran after him, but the soldier grabbed my arm and he led me through buildings until we came to a courtyard, where soldiers were volleying arrows in vain at the dragon.  
Fire and rocks fell around us; bodies lay strewn on the ground cast aside like dolls forgotten by children.

The Imperial soldier slowed ahead of me and shouted, “Ralof you traitor!” as he ran into the courtyard.

Ralof smiled at me as they both pulled their swords and made ready for battle when the dragon appeared over-head.

“This is not over Ralof.”

“No, Hadvar, it isn’t, not yet.”

“Come on, prisoner, if you want to live.” Hadvar commanded.

In that moment I made my choice and I turned to follow Ralof as he ran through a doorway.

“Damn you Ralof!” Hadvar called after us.

~~*~~

“I see you made it, Phenarie. Come here and let me cut those bindings. See if you can find a weapon and look to see if those gates open.” Ralof told me as he looked around.

We were in a circular room with two gates, both locked. I looked for a mechanism to open them but didn’t have any luck. From further behind the gate I had just checked came the sound of a door opening and running footsteps.

Ralof crouched down and motioned for me to do the same. “Shh, Imperials!”

I crouched, palms sweating, waiting for them to enter.

The gate opened and two Imperial soldiers entered.

I leapt out grabbing the arm of the nearest soldier and twisting until he dropped his sword.  
Kicking him in the shin I quickly bent and grabbed up the sword then turned in time to watch Ralof slap him across the side of the head then kill him with a blow to the back of the head. The other soldier, the woman that had included me to the list, lay dead at his feet.

"I guess you did not need any help."

Ralof smiled at me.

We took weapons and a key from the Imperial soldier Ralof dealt with and made our way through the keep. I discovered a chest with some armor and chose gauntlets, boots and a helmet. I quickly pulled them on and adjusted the helmet. On a table I found some gold coins and steel dagger and slipped it into my boot.

We set off through the keep, rounding a set of stairs, we found ourselves midst Imperial and Stormcloak soldiers in the heat of battle; fallen bodies from both sides littered the floor.

I screamed in fury as I attacked the nearest Imperial soldier driving him to his knees and bashing his head open with my sword. Blood flowed like a river of red towards my feet and I stepped back in disgust.  
Finishing off the last Imperial soldier we continued on through the keep.

Down a flight of stairs we came to a torture room, two Stormcloak soldiers were trying desperately to fight against a torturer who used magic and his assistant-a beady-eyed little man-brandishing a dagger that shone in the light.

Ralof and I fought beside the Stormcloaks killing them.

In a locked cage that I picked open with found lock picks were a mage, a small purse of gold and a spell book. I found an iron shield and mace that would come in handy. The deeds of torture, that hung in iron cages scattered around the room, made my stomach turn and I could taste bile at the back of my throat.  
How could anyone sanction this behavior?

Through a small cavern we continued and right into five Frostbite spiders. They stared at us for a moment as we stared at them then as they moved towards us, they launched their poisonous venom, missing us by mere inches.  
I shuddered as they scurried towards us on their thick hairy legs, staring at us with their many eyes. Two were the size of a cow and when my mace smashed their furry flesh, they squealed like pigs in a butcher’s shack.

My arms and shoulder were beginning to ache, I felt I could not go on further, but Ralof urging me on kept telling me were almost out.

The next tunnel led to a large cavern with a river running through the center from a waterfall. I stopped at the waterfall and doused my head, cooling myself.

On a far crevice a black bear slept soundly.

Ralof held his hand out for me to stop. “Shh, I don’t want to wake her, see if we can sneak around. Watch your footing, the stones are loose here.”

Beside me a wooden cart held several bottles of wine and a coin purse. I grabbed the coin purse and attached it to the belt at my waist beside the first small purse I had found on the mage. Lying on the ground, near the cart, I spied a bottle of Black-Briar mead and just on the edge of the bank, a horned iron helmet. I picked up the helmet and placed it on my head. I glanced at Ralof and he smiled with approval.

With heart pounding in my chest, I snuck as quietly as possible keeping one eye on the bear. Yawning, she stretched and turned in a circle then lay down. I waited for her settle, then we crept by her, hoping she would not rise.

A tunnel ahead sloped down and disappeared round a corner.

“Over to the left is the way out I think.” Ralof said.

Once clear of danger, we ran eagerly towards the daylight and finally out into the fresh air. As we stood together, a rush of wind disturbed the trees beside us and we looked up in time to see the dragon fly off into the Northern sky.

~~*~~

I listened to Ralof, as he told me of his sister and his home in Riverwood and that I should come with him. I told him to go on ahead that I had something I wanted to do.

He looked at me with those deep blue eyes. “Are you sure? There might be Imperials looking for us.”

I shook my head. “Not so soon after that attack, I'm sure they’ll be running with their tail between their legs right now. I promise I will come to Riverwood.”

I clasped his outstretched hand then turned and ran over the hill to my right.

 


	5. Creatures Great and Small

I found the road I wanted and walked back into Helgen through the gate, this time under my own steam. Through Helgen I walked, I found no survivors in the rubble, only charred bodies. Fires burned, greedily consuming homes where families had lived and loved. The watchtowers stood silenced.   
The inn, where I had jumped to, was almost completely destroyed now.   
I looked through the debris until I located what I searched for, a few bottles of mead flavored with junniper berries; a gift for Ralof.   
I slipped out the gate we had entered on the carts and broke into a jog running down the road, ahead was the sign post pointing back to Ivarstead and Riften.

I continued down the road, rounding a corner I heard a commotion. Four bandits were in the process of killing a Khajiit.   
I pulled the sword taken from the Imperial soldiers and rushed forward striking the bandit across his neck.   
A bandit, hidden behind trees, shot arrows at me and I ducked behind a boulder then made my way slowly around catching him in the side.   
The third, a nasty-looking woman, rushed screaming at me with an axe and I threw my sword at her chest impaling her. The fourth bandit danced from foot to foot hooting about his friends, I pulled my dagger. He tried to run but ended up laying face-down in the middle of the road.   
I rushed to the Khajiit to see if I could help, but she was dead.   
I stood wiping the blood from my hands on the tunic I wore and noticed that she was part of a caravan of four.   
All the Khajiit were dead and I shook my head, back home they used to pass our village with their wares and I recalled my mother always checked to see what they had for trade.

I checked their cart and found a couple of knapsacks and a sack or two. I adjusted the knapsacks so I could wear them front and back of my body. From the bandits I pocketed any coin I could find, I took armor and weapons that I could carry. Hopefully, I could trade for better armor and weapons once in Riverwood.

I turned to head back to Helgen, when I saw a path on my right, leading up over a small rise. I decided to take it, hoping that it would lead me to Riverwood. I walked on for a few moments and came to Orphan Rock.  
I passed by warily keeping an eye out for bandits.   
I rounded a boulder and came upon a path with markers. Curiosity got the better of me and I followed it down to a fortress, North Skybound Watch.  
As I approached I heard a shout and a bandit appeared at the entrance, she aimed her arrow in my direction as a second bandit came to stand behind her.   
Releasing the arrow in my direction, she quickly stepped aside as the other bandit ran towards me.   
I raised my shield and sword and walloped my sword against his shield.

Snarling at me, he lashed out with the edge of his shield hoping to take my head off, but that was his mistake. He had left his side open to the thrust of my sword.   
The woman ran towards me, trying to pull her dagger free of her belt and tripped over the leg of the bandit on the ground, sending her sprawling down face first. I reached down and stabbed her near the throat. She choked and spluttered then shuddered and finally lay still.

“You, you’re gonna pay for that!” the bandit coming up the rise yelled as he approached, all six and eight of height, coming to stand before me holding a war hammer.

I trembled at the size of him. He wore banded armor and looked to be the meanest man I had ever laid eyes on.

Once, when I had been a little girl, there was a man who was horribly disfigured, that had come to our village to steal that was mean, but he was a kitten compared to this man.

I backed away slowly not really wanting to engage but he kept approaching.

“That woman was mine and now I’m gonna make you bleed.”

I grabbed my sword and gave him the coldest stare I could muster. I motioned for him to advance.

He ran at me shouting obscenities and swung his hammer hitting me square in the chest, sending me flying back. My broken rib poked me painfully in the side and the wind raced from my lungs. I lay flat on my back staring up at the sky, watching as tiny snowflakes began to fall landing on my face. I was going to die.  
He appeared behind me staring down into my face. I knew that he had the advantage as he lifted his hammer to finish me. I thought of home, my family, of my dead sister and of Ralof; I was going to break my word given to him.

The hammer rose and I closed my eyes preparing myself for the end. It did not come as I heard a howl then a snarl and the snapping of jaws and a yelp. Wolves!

Opening my eyes, I was in time to see three of them attack the bandit, one had its teeth sank into his calf and wasn’t about to let go.   
The second wolf, a big grey bugger, circled looking for the right opportunity. The third a small red female crept low to the ground watching the bandit and me, she could smell blood and from the teats that hung down, I figured she was feeding pups.   
The big grey launched itself for the bandit’s throat and threw him off guard, the bandit staggered back and tripped over the body of his woman and landed with a thud on his backside.

The wolves sensing their opportunity, intensified their attack, ripping, biting and clawing.

The bandit reached for his dagger and sank it into the chest of the black wolf that had released his calf and was sinking its teeth into the bandits arm now. It shuddered and released the arm and laid still, tongue lolling from its mouth.   
The big grey howled and grabbed the bandits’ leg and began to jerk and rip flesh as it backed up, its head bobbing up and down.   
The little red wolf landed on the bandits’ chest and in one fell swoop bit the exposed neck blood jetting from the severed artery. She raised her head, looking at me for a moment, then she lowered her head as she began to eat.

Rolling onto my knees, I watched horrified as the two remaining wolves began to devour the bandit.

I ran past them and through a door that lead out to a set of stairs at the side of a terrace.   
I rushed down the stairs and came to another door and pushed it open to enter Skybound Watch Pass.

~~*~~

I looked down at the floor of the tunnel and saw two bedrolls, a small fire burning cheerily ahead and shadows looming on the wall further down. I leaned against the wall, exhausted, spent, I had no energy left.

Rummaging through my finds, I pulled out a hunk of cheese, which I devoured quickly. I followed it with an apple and ale and crouched silently listening to the bandits.   
One was complaining about the wrong doings of a woman and how he was going to get even.   
The other whined about the job and lack of money.

Feeling a surge of energy, I stole down the tunnel quietly and came up behind the bandit while he sat on the steps and sank my dagger into his neck.   
He managed to shout attracting the attention of the other bandit and I grasped bow in hand and shot him with an arrow. He backed away and stepped on a pressure plate releasing the overhead battering ram hitting him in the back of the head causing his demise.

~~*~~

On the wall to my right was a shelf housing a coin purse, a book- _The Battle of Red Mountain_ , fur armor and helmet.

I turned to look at the only door behind me and noticed cobwebs-Frostbite spiders! Not again.

I shuddered remembering the ones from the tunnels under Helgen, but this was the only way through that I could see. I did not want to chance encountering the wolves.  
Forcing the door opened, I peered around the corner; egg sacks, and cobwebs lined the dimly lit hall.   
I could smell cold air wafting down the tunnel and I hoped that if there was a spider, that it be small enough to squash with the heel of my boot.   
I pulled my bow to hand and notched an arrow ready for whatever came.

In the darkness ahead I heard the faint scratching of claws moving then caught a glimpse of something grey; grey and big.

I slowly put one foot in front of the other watching for any signs of traps on the floor and making sure each side of the walls were clear of hidden enemies.

Somewhere behind me, I thought I heard something move and I turned to check. Nothing was there.

As I turned back, I was knocked back on my arse.

The biggest Frostbite spider stood over me. She was probably the mother to all of them, with eyes beginning to dull, her furry legs turning white and the venom that dripped from her fangs was a disgusting yellow.   
She screeched at me as she reared up readying her stinger. I rolled away and grabbed my sword chopping one of her legs. She howled in pain then strode towards me spitting venom at me.   
A ball of venom caught me on the chest and exploded over my tunic, right away I could feel the effects of the venom as it burned into my skin.

I had no time to waste fighting this creature or I would surely die here and end up wrapped in her silks, food for her unborn.   
I watched intently for my chance as I parried with my sword blow for blow, she was becoming more agitated as the fight went on and I tired.   
She finally hesitated for a second and that was my chance, I jumped on a nearby loose boulder and it rolled close enough to her for me to jump in the air and sink my sword down into her head. All legs twitched and jerked and she scrabbled backwards trying with front legs to dislodge the sword and in doing so only sank it deeper.   
She collapsed to the floor dead.

I passed by the body of the spider shuddering, ugh, I hated them, and pushed open the door, relishing in the gust of cold wind rushing over my body.

Advancing up the tunnel, in front of me, were three bandits, the front a mouthy female who offered to relieve me of my coin purse.  
I shot her with an arrow in the eye, and watched as she fell. The other two raised sword against me and I shot them with an arrow each.

Enough of this, I thought to myself, time to get out of here.

Water bubbled up from the stones that lined the floor and roots pushed through cracks in the wall, moss hung overhead and at the end of the tunnel a set of spiral stairs led up to light that intensified as I climbed the stairs. The temperature had dropped and snow began to swirl as I pushed through the doors at the top of the stairs and stepped finally out into the daylight.

A tower stood lonely at the edge of the mountain. South Skybound Watch was in a state of disrepair and stood crumbling.   
I stood for a moment watching and listening. I found the doorway ajar and searched avoiding broken floor boards and rickety stairs that threatened to plunge me to the floor below.

At the top of the tower, I found a chest containing forty gold coins and an emerald. It shone in the light and cast its beautiful green glow on the snow beneath my feet.   
I stole a quick glance over the edge of the crumbling tower wall and saw Helgen to my left. Down over the edge of the mountain side I could see a road as it meandered to the right.

I hoped it was the road to Riverwood and to Ralof.

 

 

 


	6. Road to Riverwood

I exited down and out through the tower door and looked ahead to the path before me, discovering three wisps, floating in a circle, waiting. I shrank back into the tower and blew my breath out between clenched teeth, I certainly was not going to battle them; I knew their mother would be nearby and I was not strong enough to deal with her.

I grabbed the sacks, now attached with a cord between them, threw the cord around my neck and started to slide down the edge of the mountain as quickly as I could, hopefully without attracting too much attention.  
I slipped and went down the rest of the way clattering and banging, the sacks sliding ahead of me.  
I landed with a jolt that sent pains through my already badly bruised and beaten body. I stood and tried to shake off the cramp in my leg then slowly began to gather my gear strewn before me.

I began to walk down to the road slowly coming to a road on my left and a sign post. It pointed to Falkreath and Helgen behind me-to the south and to the north-Riverwood. I crept along the road, beginning to feel the day’s events catch up with me and in my state of tire, I ended up slipping off the road and down an embankment, coming to land between three tall stones; the Standing Stones; Warrior, Thief and Mage.

I stood and brushed myself off, mumbling under my breath at my inability to keep to my feet and when I lifted my head, I was taken aback by what I saw before me.

They stood there, straight and silent, sentinels ready to point you on your path. The choice was yours to make. The gravity of what they meant leaned in on me and I, for an instant, wanted to run and return to my life that I had before. But I did not. I knew that something was asking me to decide now who I wished to become.

I stood before each, pondering what each one could mean to me and I asked myself who I wanted to become, what I believed to be in my heart. I was unclear as to what my destiny held, but as I stood there, looking at the sentinels; I felt a calmness envelope me as the choice became clear in my mind.

I would right the wrongs done to me and maybe even those that were too weak fight for themselves, like my sister Phreya, who died so young before her life even really had a chance to begin. Before she even might have had the chance to stand here and make her own choice. I would do this for Phreya, who now lay under the cold stones of the cairn, her final resting place.

I stepped forward and touched the Standing Stone of my choosing-Warrior. I would not fail as I felt I had failed her. I swore this would be my path.

I touched the Standing Stone and felt the blessing that enveloped me from head to toe and I could not help but smile. I had placed my first foot onto the path that I had chose.

~~*~~

I began to walk on the road, by the river, that would lead me to Riverwood and Ralof, who by this time would probably be worried that something had happened to me, when I heard a growl and looked up and saw a wolf.  
My hand stole to my dagger and as I stared at the animal, I had the feeling we had met before. It was the big grey wolf with the little red one that was feeding pups close behind.  
They stood growling, baring their teeth, edging closer towards me. I shooed and shouted at them. The red wolf lowered her head then turned away; the big grey stood a moment longer then followed her over the crest of the hill beside me. I stood for a moment blinking; that was strange. Once a wolf engaged it would not usually back down.

Shouldering the sacks quickly, I continued on my way, occasionally glancing over my shoulder to make sure they were not following me.

 

~~*~~

I finally arrived at my destination and was both relieved and delighted.

Riverwood was a quaint little village, leaning against a mountain wall, on the edge of a river teeming with salmon. Luscious and green, it was surrounded by trees and set between the span of two mountain ranges. At the far end of the little village, you crossed a long stone bridge, spanning the flowing river and at each end of the village, there was a guard’s wall, currently being used by a young boy and his dog. He waved to me and the dog woofed its hello.

On the riverbank, to my left, there was the mill, I found later to be owned by Ralofs’ sister and worked by her husband, Hod.  
In front of the mill stood a blacksmith's shop and the blacksmith, named Alvor, could be seen busily pounding metal at his forge.

Across the road from him, was The Riverwood Trader, where a young woman was stacking baskets at the door. She raised her hand in welcome as I passed by her. Further down the road, was The Sleeping Giant Inn, where a few patrons were sitting on the porch, drinking ale and chatting about the capture of Ulfric Stormcloak and his lieutenants.  
I noticed there were a few wooden and stone houses behind the inn and the shop.  
The people that greeted me seemed warm and kind. It reminded me of home as I pulled the cool air into my lungs and sighed as bittersweet memories tugged at my heart.

As I walked towards the mill, a Bosmer elf, who introduced himself as Faendal, interrupted my thoughts then questioned if I had been talking to Sven.  
I shook my head, my brows coming together at his inquiry.

“Sven works at the mill, whenever he decides to show up do his job-which seems to be hardly ever now. He thinks he is a bard and writes poetry to Camilla Valerius in an attempt to woo her. He thinks he has her in the palm of his hand. How can poetry convince Camilla of his affection for her? I would hope she was smarter than that.”

“You don’t sound too sure about that and it sounds to me as if you are jealous.” I watched his face as he cast his eyes down to the ground then he looked back up to meet my gaze.

“I have an idea, could you give this letter to Camilla and tell her it is from Sven? I think I have matched that so-called bards writing. Maybe this will open her eyes up to what Sven is really like.”

I took the letter in hand. “Are you sure you want to do this? Why not just tell her how you feel? Honesty is always better and if you have real feelings for her you should trust her to decide.”

He thought for a moment then shook his head. “Give her the letter, I want to do this.”

I sighed as I pocketed the letter and continued around the back of the mill looking for Gerdur.

Gerdur was sitting at a sharpening stone working on an axe. She stood when she saw me.  
Ralof’s sister was tall, fair-skinned and topped with long golden hair. The similarity between and her brother was apparent. She explained that Ralof was talking to Hod and would be along momentarily, then told me I could go to the house and wait if I wanted. She offered the key to her house and any supplies that I might need.  
Her husband appeared with Ralof across the bridge.  
Hod was about the same height as Ralof, but he was more muscular. His blonde hair tied was back and he had a mustache that hung down to his chin.

“Any friend of Ralofs is welcome.” He said as he took my hand in his.

Ralof grasped me, pulling me in tight for a hug. “I was starting to worry; I thought you might have been captured.”

I smiled at him. ”I am here now, so no worries, my friend.”

~~*~~

That night before supper, her husband and son, Frodnar,the boy with the dog, listened intently, as Ralof and I described the events that had led us here.  
Hod was very interested in the dragon.

I excused myself and headed down to the river and slipped out of the prisoner’s tunic I still wore, glad to be rid of it.  
Walking into the water, I dove under and swam for a few minutes enjoying the feel of the water against my skin. I lay on my back, staring up at the few stars that hung in the sky for a few moments then walked from the water to the bank and dried off as I listened to the sounds of the night around me. I dressed in a plain cream-colored cotton tunic with a caramel- colored bib overall-skirt, a light brown corset and soft, golden brown, leather boots that Gerdur had gave me. I then walked slowly along the path back to Gerdur and Hods’ house.  
After a filling and delicious meal, I crawled into the bed, offered to me by Ralof and closed my eyes and slept more soundly than I had in week.

~~*~~

In the morning, I awoke to the sound of birds’ chirping, children laughing and a dog barking.

I headed to the river for an early morning swim then sat with my back against a tree and enjoyed the sunshine.  
I smiled as Ralof brought me a mug of warm mead, a boiled egg, cheese and bread while I was sitting on the edge of the riverbank.

“This is beautiful. I could find myself staying here.” I said dreamily.

“I found it hard to leave here to join the fight, but the thought of those damn Thalmor drove me to it. I was not sure if I would ever see home again.” He hesitated for a moment. “Have you decided what you are going to do?” he queried.

“No, I thought I would take a few days and rest up. I really don’t know what I am going to do now. I have no family left and I cannot return home. My sister was all I had left in this world and now that has been taken from me…” I bit back the tears and swallowed. “I have a sense of vengeance in my heart towards those that killed her. She was only 16, too young to die.”

Ralof placed his hand on my arm and looked at me with his deep blue eyes. “You are welcome to stay here, for as long as you need, Phenarie. I am going to lay low for a few days. Whatever you decide, be careful. By now, Hadvar will have reported us gone. I am sure that Tullius will have men looking for those that managed to escape. Losing one of Ulfric’s lieutenants will not sit well with Tullius especially in front of the Thalmor. I plan to return to Ulfric, he will have headed back to Windhelm. You should join the Stormcloaks. We are always in need of good soldiers and you fight bravely and to be truthful,” he hesitated for a moment, “I wouldn’t mind your company.”

 


	7. First Meetings

That afternoon, I went to visit Alvor, the blacksmith.

He was hunched over the grindstone, busily working on a sword when I approached him. He ignored me for a few minutes then finally, with a huff, he looked up in my direction for a moment before returning to his work.

“Don’t see to many new faces in Riverwood. Are you looking to protect yourself or buy new armor?” He said gruffly as he continued working on the sword.

“I have some armor, which I would like to improve and maybe sell a few pieces. I haven’t decided what I want to keep. Do you have any suggestions?” I tried to sound as respectful as possible, hoping to get on his good side.

He looked me over once again and stood, stretching his back then checked what I had. After a few moments he spoke. “Iron is good, steel is better. With a little work and a little bit of raw materials we could fix you up. I don't suppose you know how to use a grindstone?”

I nodded my head.

“I can help you with the armor. You might want light armor, you being a bit tiny.”

I grimaced.

Maybe I was tiny; I stood about five and six, weighing in at maybe eleven stone and five. I had good muscles from walking, good bone structure and I did have good balance on my feet. I may have been tiny, but I was a fierce fighter.

I improved my weapons at the grindstone under the watchful eye of Alvor.

"Not too shabby." He said under his breath.

I smiled to myself.

My weapon of choice was a steel sword, a steel shield and dagger. I upgraded to an Imperial bow and steel arrows.

I needed a quiver for my arrows and looked through the selection that Alvor had.

When he showed me a quiver, decorated with what appeared to be a dragon, I knew it to be the one. 

I chose studded armor, that Alvor showed me how to improve, then I chose to improve a pair of leather boots and fur bracers.

I decided to keep the horned iron helmet, I had found with Ralof, as none of the others seemed to fit my head.

As I plunked it down on my head, Alvor rolled his eyes at my choice.

~~*~~

I took the letter that Faendal had given and was about to take it Camilla when I ran into Sven.

He stood in front of me, blonde hair blowing in the breeze, his eyes shining and his arms crossed over his chest, smiling.

He started boasting to me about how he was a bard, and a good one at that and how he had gone to the Bard’s college in Solitude. He told me how he was going to leave the little boring town of Riverwood behind just as soon as he had enough money.  
His smile broadened as he told me how the only thing of value here, was a woman named, Camilla. He spoke of how he was going to make her his.

As he stood there rambling on, I thought of the letter that Faendal had written in my pocket.

I wondered what Sven would do as I showed it to him.

“Faendal wanted you to give this to Camilla and say it was from me?”

He snorted rolling his eyes. “Here, let me just write something. Imagine that _elf_ thinking he has a chance with Camilla-the fool he is.”

~~*~~

Several days later, I took whatever supplies I had managed to scrounge up and prepared to leave Riverwood and Ralof behind.

Ralof hugged me to his chest and then kissed me lightly on the cheek, then stepped back blushing deeply.

It was a bittersweet goodbye. Ralof had been extremely kind to me and I felt a close kinsman ship to the man that had saved my life on more than one occasion.

Before I left, Gerdur asked me, to inform the Jarl in Whiterun, of the threat of a dragon attacking Riverwood and I assured her that I would.

~~*~~

Sunlight danced and sparkled on the White Rivers surface, while salmon jumped its rapids and flowers of various names grew wild in abundance along the edge of the road.  
On the way down the road I spied a deer, in the bush, off to the side of the road.  
It stood watching me far a moment, then bounded away through the river to the other side.

~~*~~

As I continued on, late afternoon brought cloudy skies and a soft rain began to fall.

I came to cross roads and came upon a guard, who pointed me in the direction of Whiterun and informed me where there was a food, drink and a place to sell anything I had.

I thanked him and continued on my way.

As I passed by Honningbrew Meadery on my left, well known in these parts I came to a field planted with potatoes, leeks and cabbages when I heard a loud shout and the sound of fighting.

A cloud of dust filled the air and the ground shook beneath my feet. I moved further down the field, curious as to what was happening and I spied a giant brandishing his club at three warriors.  
He was stomping and smacking the ground with said club at the three warriors who were fighting valiantly against him.

I readied my bow and rushed to their aid, letting an arrow fly. It sailed through the air and hit its mark.  
I had caught the giant in the throat and he fell to his knees.

With a whoop, a young man with dark shaggy hair, wearing steel armor, rushed forward and finished the giant with one blow from his greatsword.

He turned to me approaching towards me and smiled exposing his teeth. “You look strong; you should come to Jorrvaskr and become a Companion.”

He was taller than me and very muscular, with very pale blue eyes.

A smile spread across his handsome, stubbly face, as he stood studying me, while his companions, two females,  walked towards me.

One was  tall, lithe, red-headed, wearing ancient Nord armor, which barely covered her body. She looked me over and I suddenly felt uncomfortable.

“You handle yourself well. You could make for a decent Shield-Sister.”

“Shield-Sister?” I queried.

The other female, an Imperial with short hair stepped forward.

“Aye, join the Companions and you would become our Shield-Sister. You would fight with us solving other’s conflicts.”

“Thank you, I will think on it.” I proposed to them.

“Very well, speak to Kodlak Whitemane up at Jorrvaskr if you decide.” The red-head issued.

I smiled and turned to walk away.

“Perhaps we will fight together again.” She called after me.

~~*~~

I continued towards Whiterun passing by a horse-wagon and driver who asked me if I needed a ride; I declined.

Further along, at the Whiterun stables, I spied a great brown warhorse who took a liking to me when I fed her an apple from my pack.  
The man there said her name was Allie and that she was for sale if I was interested.

I declined his offer of Allie and I bid him a good day.

As I wandered up the path, under the arches that spanned the path leading into Whiterun, I passed by several guards, who were watching my every movement from their towers, then finally the entrance to Whiterun appeared.

A guard by the entrance approached me. “The city is closed with dragons about; official business only.”

“But Riverwood calls for aid!” I cried.

The guard studied me for a moment, whether determining if I was telling the truth or if I were ready to cause trouble, I did not know, but then after a moment, he motioned to the guard behind him for the doors to be opened to me.

“You’ll want to speak to the Jarl. You will find him in Dragonsreach at the top of the city.”

~~*~~

I strolled into the city and stopped to survey the scene before me.

A guard to my left nodded to me while another entered the guards’ barracks behind him.

To my right, I saw a blacksmith forge, Warmaidens, the sign declared.

The blacksmith-a woman with long auburn hair flowing down her back, speaking to an Imperial soldier, who was ordering more weapons to be made for their cause,seemed flustered by his attitude and agreed to fill his order, but explained it would take time to fill such a large order.

The soldier did not seem happy with her response and snorting he turned on heel and walked away muttering.

The blacksmith eyed me watching soldier and nodded.

I moved on into Whiterun, looking for Dragonsreach.

An establishment, The Drunken Huntsman, a tavern, stood on a little hill to my left.  
I smiled conjuring up ideas about the name.

A man walking towards me, delivering firewood smiled and nodded politely in my direction.

A small cottage standing to my right appeared to be abandoned.

I headed further into Whiterun to find people going about their business, stopping to chat and share the latest gossip, children darting around buildings laughing, playing tag; all oblivious to the fact that a dragon could, at any moment, sweep down and destroy all as happened in Helgen. 

I forced the idea from my head, not wanting to remember what I had seen. Instead I focused on the shopkeepers who lifted their voices calling to the shoppers, trying to entice them with the best deals.

I gazed at the wares, of all kinds, that sat on stalls and focused on some of the most wondrous smells ever to assault my nostrils.

Fresh golden baked loaves of bread called to me, sweet rolls glistened golden topped with icing and baskets and barrels of vegetable that overflowed all sat tempting me.

Shiny babbles and trinkets sparkled in the sun, peddled by an older woman with a kind smile.

My stomach rumbled as I stood in the market and I realized that I was parched, hungry and tired from the journey.

Spying The Bannered Mare, the local inn and eatery, behind him, I decided to down a few ales and partake of some sustenance.

~~*~~

Inside the dimly lit inn, smoke assailed my nostrils and the fire greeted me cheerily from the center of the floor. After a moment, the smell of grilled meat filled the air.

My mouth watered.

“Come on in,” called a Nord woman I found later to be named Hulda and the proprietor of the inn, “I just stoked the fire and there’s warm food, warm ale and warm beds.”

Music emanated from a lute strummed by a young bard.

I chuckled and wondered if he was anything like Sven.

A young girl sat by herself eating a sweet roll, a warrior in iron armor sat on a bench by the roaring fire pit, his toe tapping to the music.

A serving girl, named Saadia who hailed from Hammerfell, took my order and pointed me to a small table and chair by the fire.  
When she returned with my food, I asked of any news and she filled me in on some of the details of Whiterun’s citizens.

Apparently, the young bard had been trying to claim the woman, Carlotta Valentia from the vegetable stand, as his prize and she was not so easily swayed by his advances.  
She had a young child, Mila, and was widowed and not in the market for a man-especially the bard.

Hulda was looking to retire and was thinking of selling, The Bannered Mare, to Ysolda.

Saadia was about to continue on with more news and I waved her away, telling her I was not interested in hearing any more gossip.

~~*~~

I sat eating my roasted beef, grilled leeks and drinking my ale while my eyes kept surveying the room.

After finishing my meal, I stood and walked over to sit by the fire when a tall red-headed woman dressed in steel plate armor and matching boots and gauntlets bumped into me, jostling the mead in her hand.

She grunted and gave me a dirty look. "Want to hear a little Nord wisdom?" She leaned down bringing her face inches from mine. "You don't really know a woman 'til you've had a strong drink and a fistfight with her."

I looked up at her and nodded. “You like to fight?”

“Aye, I bet a hundred gold coins I can take you bare fisted, no crying and none of that magika either.”

I nodded. “You’re on.”

I pulled up my fists and started moving in front of her, waiting for her to land her first blow.

She obviously had one too many mead because it was the easiest fight I had been in.

I ducked her blows as she weaved back and forth on unsteady feet, her face becoming redder by the minute.

I zigged and zagged around her until she was confused.

I laughed when she finally fell to the floor, tangled up in her own feet.

I held out one hand to her and she took it, not looking too pleased with her failure.

A smile broke across her face as she slapped me on the back.

She handed me her hundred gold coins and smiled down at me. “If you ever need a follower, I’m your woman. I like you. Come, sit and share a drink with me. Tell me of yourself.”

I sat and had an ale and told her a little of my life and inquired of hers.

She was on her own, exploring Skyrim and had decided to settle in Whiterun.

I downed the rest of my ale then stood to go and thanked her for her company.

“If you have need of a place to stay friend, here, take my spare key to my house. It is near the gates, across from Carlotta’s house. Make yourself at home.”

I was surprised by her generous offer and I thanked her again.

As I exited the inn, I tossed a coin to a young girl, Lucia, who was begging at the door of the inn.  
For some reason, she reminded me of my sister, Phreya and my heart went out to her.

~~*~~

It took a moment for my vision to adjust to the light of outdoors and I stood listening to the sounds around me.  
People bartering, children laughing, the clanking and hammering of the blacksmith.  
Whiterun was a nice city, but it was not at all like Riverwood with its peace and serenity.

I suddenly missed Ralof and his family and the sound of the river and the lushness of green.  
I hoped to return to it soon.

A passing guard, noticing that I was new to Whiterun and perhaps a little lost, informed me that Whiterun was divided into three sections; the Plains district with its shops, inns and some houses and the main gate, the Wind district with the more influential family homes, Jorrvaskr and the temple of Kynareth and finally the Cloud district, the whereabouts of Dragonsreach.

I thanked him for his help then he turned to me, with a curt nod and told me _‘no lollygagging’_.

I shook my head as he walked away.

~~*~~

I followed a set of stairs, up past the market, as it began to wind down for the day to find a small circular courtyard with an immense tree that had seen better days standing in the center.

Benches were placed under the tree so one could sit and enjoy the courtyard.  
Water ran through a channel encircling the courtyard with bridges placed over the channels here and there.

A few houses and the temple of Kynareth surrounded the courtyard and to my right a set of stairs led to a large structure that looked like an overturned boat atop a hall. This I presumed was Jorrvaskr; home of the Companions.

Braziers stood about here and there and their flames were dancing merrily while black smoke drifted into the air.

The stairs to Dragonsreach climbed far up and were broken into terraces with pools of water on either side. Water ran down either side of the pools in a channel and spilled from grates in walls.

At the bottom of the stairs, off to the right, was a priest standing in front of a shrine to Talos. He threw his arms into the air as he saw me and began his rant about the mighty Talos and his sacrifice to save us all from death and Oblivion.  
His voice rose louder as if trying to reach me in particular, but I brushed past him and mounted the many steps to Dragonsreach and when finally at the top, I turned to survey the city.

Beside Jorrvaskr, stood a giant bird carved from stone, I wondered what it represented.  
I noticed a blacksmith had set up shop, on a balcony, under the great bird and made a mental note to check his inventory.

I paused a moment longer, catching my breath, from the climb, then crossed the bridge above a pool of water emptying from beneath the castle, to the large golden wood doors of Dragonsreach that stood waiting.

~~*~~

Through the large golden doors I went and stood in awe at the sight before me. I had never been in a place such as this.

I climbed the steps onto richly carpeted terraces lined with braziers and started past long tables, laden with food and drink, to be greeted by a menacing tall dark elf with red eyes and yellow tattoos on her face, wielding a blade. 

 I found her to be the Jarl’s housecarl, Irileth and not very trusting of strangers.

“Who comes to call at this late of an hour? The Jarl is not accepting visitors.” She questioned my reasons for wanting to speak directly with the Jarl.

“I have news of the dragon attack at Helgen.”

She stared at me for a moment, her eyes looking me over, her lips pursed together, her hand on her weapon.

I swallowed a lump in my throat, waiting to see if I could pass.

She sheathed her weapon finally and motioned for me to follow her. “I’ll be keeping an eye on you.” she said quietly.

~~*~~

Jarl Balgruuf the Greater, was an older man, who obviously had seen his share of battles.  
He looked kind and gentle, for a Jarl, while he sat relaxed on his throne on a dais, under the skull of an immense dragon.

I stared up at the enormous skull, recalling the dragon at Helgen and how close I had been to him.  
It unnerved me to be stared at by those now empty eye-sockets.

To the Jarl’s left stood his Steward an almost bald man, Proventus Avenicci, who was the father of the woman blacksmith I had seen near the front gates.  
I recognized the similarities between father and daughter immediately.

Two guards flanked right and left of the Jarl, with weapons readied for any mischief or mayhem.

I made sure not to make any sudden movements.

I informed the Jarl of the facts that occurred at Helgen, informing him of the dragon, the destruction and that Gerdur felt it necessary for Whiterun to send aid to Riverwood.

He was grateful for my account and he expressed his thanks and presented me with steel armor for my act of valor in coming forth.

I thanked him for the armor then turned to walk away when his housecarl blocked my leaving and she pointed to the Jarl.

I turned to face him and could not believe my ears at what he said.

I was to assist his court wizard in finding something crucial in the battle to bring down the dragon.

Bring down a dragon? What had I found myself involved in? I could no more bring down a dragon than anyone could. Well, maybe a group of well armed men could, who were skilled warriors might be able to, but certainly not me. Not me the tiny person I was.

I was taken to the court wizard, Farengar Secret-Fire and he told me of a stone, a Dragonstone, which was rumored to hold the secrets of the burial sites of the dragons.  
He deemed it necessary for me to recover the stone entombed in Bleak Falls Barrows close to Riverwood as quick as possible.  
This might be the key to solving why a dragon had returned I was told.

I accepted the request and shrugged my shoulders as I left Dragonsreach. How hard could this be I wondered as I wandered down the steps back to the market.

I looked forward to my return to Riverwood and the chance to see my friends, especially Ralof, but not entering the Barrows to look for this proposed stone.

 

 

 

 


	8. Journey to Bleak Falls Barrow

After a good night’s sleep at Uthgerd’s house and a solid breakfast at the Bannered Mare, I stopped into the trading shop, Belethor’s General Goods, to sell what I carried that was not required.

“Everything is for sale. Hell, if I had a sister, I would sell her too.” Belethor greeted me with as I entered his darkened shop.

The man behind the counter was a fellow Breton, Belethor the proprietor of the shop, was graced with eyes that crawled over my body as I entered the shop. He licked his lips too often as I sold the studded armor and deer hide. I checked his inventory then felt the urge to run from his apparent interest in more than the transaction at hand. I thanked him and quickly exited the store.

“Anything wrong?” queried the guard as I leaned against the door glad to have been away from the man and his greedy eyes.

I pointed at the door of the shop.

The guard nodded. “Sleazy little man, but he usually has a good selection of items.”

I rolled my eyes. Sleazy was the name for him.

I wandered down to the main doors and was back on the road that led to Riverwood.

~~*~~

I met three revelers who offered to share a bottle of Honningbrew mead with me; they were obviously under the sweet effects of the honey-based brew.

I shared the offered bottle and I thanked them then continued on my journey.

They wished me luck.

Little did they know how much I thought I might need it.

~~*~~

I arrived in Riverwood, just in time, to sit down to a meal at Gerdur and Hod’s, of steamed crab legs in butter, baked salmon, roasted tomatoes, fresh roasted leeks, a fondue made from; Eidar cheese, moonsugar and ale, served with fresh baked golden loaves, several flagons of ale with honey and lavender accents and sweet tarts made from jazbay grapes or snowberries.

I pushed away from the table stuffed full.

I thanked my hosts and retired to the front porch to sit and enjoy the afternoon sun.

Ralof was sitting with his back against the wall and moved over slightly so I could sit beside him.   
He informed me, that he was leaving, the next morning, for Windhelm and asked me again to join him in Windhelm.

“Ralof, I thank you, but I think my path is in a different direction from yours.”

He stood, looking down at his feet, his toe scuffing the ground. ”I was hoping that you and I could walk the same path, but, you are right. You are destined for something more than serving in Ulfric’s service. I will wish you all the best.”

With that said, he disappeared inside the house.

~~*~~

Morning came and Ralof was gone before me.

I had not the chance to bid him a final farewell and I felt a heaviness settle in my heart; he was a true friend and I thought perhaps he might have been hoping for more.   
I smiled at the thought of him, but I was not ready to settle down and a part of me was afraid if I did, I might lose him, just as I had lost my sister.

~~*~~

I found my feet, on a small path, leading up to Bleak Falls Barrows, the wind whistling around me and the sun shining above.

The further I went along the path the weather changed from sunny and pleasant to grey and stormy. The intensity of the wind picked up, and soon I was bent forward struggling against it.

As I rounded an outcrop of stone, I spied an old watchtower in dire need of repairs and standing, leaning against a small wall by a tree, a bandit was wiping his blade.   
His head snapped up at my approach and he dropped the cloth, bringing his sword up and pointing it at me.

“That’s far enough!” He threatened me; his sword wavering slightly in his hand.

I had the feeling he was just as scared as I was, but as I unsheathed my sword, I told myself I would be in no way threatened by one bandit.

“You will be a lot easier to rob when your head rolls!” He shouted at me.

He charged towards me as an arrow glanced off my armor. Damn! Another bandit appeared at the doorway of the tower, readying her bow, with a second arrow then a third bandit strode out of the tower. They stormed towards me yelling insults, threats and brandishing weapons.

My fear rose as I faced now three bandits, but I was not going to cower and run away. It was time to become the Warrior I had decided to be.

My heart pounded in my chest and my blood turned to ice in my veins. Time began to slow and I took my pick of which bandit would feel the bite of my sword first.

I thought of my sister, Phreya, as she lay, her eyes glazed staring almost accusingly at me for not being there when she needed me the most.   
Guilt, anger and sadness took hold of me as a scream erupted from me.   
I breathed deeply and took the first bandit that had stood by the wall down with a blow, crushing his arm, then a chop to the head. He went reeling from me, blood in his eyes.

The second bandit, with the bow, notched another arrow reading herself to shoot me. 

I quickly dodged the arrow and then I rushed forward, impaling her in the chest beneath her thin hide armor, her screams cut off midway by my sword cutting her throat.   
She fell at my feet, a gurgle coming from her open mouth, a look of shock on her face.

I closed the distance between the third and myself quickly and he slumped to the ground.

“I yield…I yield, please have mercy on me!”

Mercy was not his fate this day and I knew if our places were reversed, given the chance, he would kill me.  
After I killed him, he lay staring up at me with blank eyes, I turned away, bile rising in my throat.

Grabbing up the cloth, dropped by the first bandit, I wiped the bloodstains from my sword and returned it to its sheath.

I ransacked the tower, finding some food and many bottles of ale. I drank one down greedily, then ate a red apple relishing the sweet ripe fruit.   
As the ale hit my bloodstream, I felt the rush of adrenaline and now was ready to take on anything that life threw at me.

I rested for a moment and surveyed the carnage I had created and I found I felt no remorse for my actions. Many a bandit had entered our village, taking what was not theirs and had paid the price with their life; bandits were despicable and threatened the lives of simple folk.   
To me this was no different.

Standing, I continued on the path, on my way to the Barrows. I rounded a corner and there, mounted on the mountain ,reaching to the sky, stood Bleak Falls Barrows; a dark ominous looking sight that sent a shiver down my spine.

I glanced around to check for bandits but it appeared to be safe. I strode up the stairs quietly then quickly paused after hearing a scraping sound then a voice.

More bandits!

One came to stand before me, brazenly threatening to kill me and ravage my coin purse.

Fools I thought, did she not think me a worthy opponent?

I dodged arrows as a second bandit appeared from behind a pillar.

The first managed to knock me down but failed to impale me with her sword, and I kicked out and knocked her to her knees then killed her with a blow to the back of the head.

The second bandit, with the bow, fell to his death clutching his neck as blood spurted from an open artery, the third, a tall dark elf, took an arrow to the eye and pitched forward, his feet jerking then coming to lie still.

~~*~~

I entered the Barrows, past the dark black doors, etched with a dragon and flames, into a dark, foul smelling place, home to skeevers and I hoped-no Frostbite spiders.

A fire, at the far end of the room, threw up shadows stretching grotesquely on the walls, voices drifted towards me in argument.

I encountered two bandits arguing over some treasure rumored to have been left by the Nords that had original inhabited the Barrows. They had just killed two of their own in a fight over a few gold coins, found in a chest.

Bringing my bow up to position, I notched an arrow and let it loose catching one in the back of the head and then the other in the heart.

I took their arrows to replenish my stock and the few gold coins they carried.

~~*~~

I continued on my journey and followed the tunnel coming to a chamber where a bandit stood studying the room and a closed gate before him.

Crouching behind a rock, I watched him.

Dropping his torch he walked to a lever on the floor and pulled it. Darts flew from all sides of the room and the bandit fell down…dead.

I waited a few minutes, to see what else might be waiting for me, then I cautiously entered the room.   
On a ledge there above the lever on the wall I saw two symbols, and one apparently seemed to be missing in between. On the floor was what I presumed to be the middle symbol still visible even though the rock was beginning to crumble. To my left were three movable pillars with a different symbol facing me; another puzzle to solve.   
I turned the pillars to their correct symbol then prayed I would live to see what was behind the gate ahead of me.

Bending, I pulled the lever and watched as the gate opened; luckily I had seen what had happened to the bandit ahead of me or I too would have fallen to the same fate.

I walked into a small room that housed a set of stairs descending to lower levels, a table before me held a burial urn that housed a few gold coins and a health potion by the looks of the contents in the bottle.   
Pocketing my finds, I took the stairs down and was immediately attacked by three skeevers growling and hissing at me.   
I made quick work of the nasty animals; I couldn’t believe how big they grew in here.

I followed the tunnel open to me, down to a chamber, following a voice calling out for help.

There was a scurrying sound and I thought it to be perhaps more skeever, but no, it was a large Frostbite spider that had a little man wrapped in her silk threads.

“Kill her! Kill her!” he cried pitifully.

She descended from the ceiling towards me.

I watched in horror at her immense size.

The spider, obviously wounded, had one leg bent in an awkward direction and I hoped that would give me an advantage.

I quickly lined up my bow and shot an arrow into its eye blinding it.

She screamed in pain and spat venom in my direction. She threw herself against the doorway that separated us, but thankfully she was too big to pass through; this infuriated her even more.

I bombarded her with several arrows, but her skin must have been thick and the arrows did not seem to make a difference.

I notched another arrow and waited for her to rear up; I saw my chance and let the arrow loose. It caught the spider in a tender spot and she kicked, screaming and writhing in pain then she shuddered and finally lay still.

I prodded her with the tip of my bow ready to spring into action if she so dared move. 

The man screamed at me to hurry in case it wasn’t dead. He begged me to help him, he promised to show me the treasure and share it with me and when I did cut him loose, the man turned on me and I was forced to kill him. He was carrying a golden claw and a journal that spoke of the treasure found within the Barrows.

I wondered if the treasure was this Dragonstone that I was searching for.

~~*~~

I followed the tunnel entering a room with dragur wrapped in linens lying in their tombs. Several skeletons, with their weapons still clutched in their hands, lay on the floor, scattered here and there. Something moved behind me, growling and I found myself coming face to face with three dragur.

_Death is thought to be final and to wander your tomb was horribly unsettling, I hoped that I would not suffer the same._

Battling dragur of varying strengths was taxing to say the least, why couldn’t the dead just stay dead? They wielded axe and sword trying to kill me. Their laughs chilled me to the bone and their glowing blue eyes filled with a sense of deep seated fear. I slew the last one and prayed for there to be no more.

I had to run through a short tunnel that housed swinging blades that threatened to chop me to pieces and wondered who had come up with such nasty inventions to keep the secret of Bleak Falls Barrow.

Luckily, I made it through unscathed, only to enter catacombs and face more dragur.   
They rose from their beds, shambling forward, weapons in their hands, with their dull skin and armor that hung slack from their bodies. They moved towards me with foul breath that stank of death.

I strode forward to the first that quickly felt the sting of my blade. They fought me with arrow, axe and blades but all succumbed to the same final fate of meeting both my blade and bow.

~~*~~

I came to the next room to find a waterfall spilling down into a small brook than ran through the length of the floor and under a gate to face another dragur just rising from his tomb. I shot him with an arrow and he fell over face forward into the water.

To my right was the closed gate and after a bit of looking, I found the chain to open it.   
I ran on through the brook and came to a bridge that spanned a gorge, on the other side stood a dragur waiting with axe in hand for me to cross.

I notched an arrow in the bow and watched as she went tumbling to the bottom of the gorge.

I ran further ahead and found a room, the opening shrouded by vines; in the corner a brazier cast light and the shadow from yet one more damn dragur.

This time, I unsheathed my sword and rushed full into battle, slashing madly at the dragur. He opened his mouth and a force hit me in the face knocking me to my knees.

I staggered to my feet, bringing my sword up and it glanced off his shoulder.

He laughed a deep haunting laugh and charged towards me.

Planting my feet firmly, I raised my sword and he ran into it. He dropped to the ground dead.

Behind him stood a set of doors and I prayed there be no more enemies, I was exhausted and wanted no more fighting.

 

~~*~~

Pushing the doors open, I looked upon a long hallway that led to another set of doors. The walls of the hallway were lined with symbols and depictions of warriors, some fierce and proud in their armor, that I presumed were entombed here, beyond the doors ahead.

I stood before these doors and gazed upon them, a great door that required me to solve a puzzle.

I pulled the claw from my knapsack and gazed at the golden object.

On the palm of the claw were three symbols in the shape of animals-bear, moth, owl, and on the door were three circles with a fourth that looked to be where you would insert a key… could it possibly be a spot for the claw?

I moved the outer circle to bear, the inner circle to moth, then the last circle to owl. After inserting the claw into the center, I stood back and hoped to survive.

I held my breath. No darts flew, no traps were sprung, but there was a bang as the door groaned and shook, levers and wheels turned and the door slid down disappearing into a notch in the floor.

Dust and wind rushed towards me and for a moment, I was temporarily blinded and could not breathe. I coughed clearing my throat.   
When I could finally see, I started up the stairs before me and came to find myself gazing upon a cavern that soared to the sky.

Beams of light filtered down from the ceiling through a large hole in the rocks overhead and water, cascaded from several crevices, in the walls forming a small bubbling brook winding its way along the floor at my feet.   
It was a beautiful sight to behold.

Pools of water glimmered and a small arched bridge before me led to a dais and wall with strange runes etched into the dark stone.

A set of stairs to the left of the dais led to a recess in the wall and I hoped a way out. I found a chest behind the wall containing some treasures a few gold coins and a garnet.

As I approached the wall I could hear chanting; it was as if the wall sang to me.   
I reached out my hand to find the wall cool to the touch and I felt a strange feeling come over me. Images began swirling before me; the sounds of battle, thunder and screams of those gone, then came the sound of the dragon from Helgen; the awful roar filling my head, I fell to my knees, my hands covering my ears, trying to block out the sound and I almost passed out.

The sound stopped as a whoosh of light engulfed me, lifting me almost from my position on the ground. It wrapped me in its warmth, lifting my hair, caressing my cheek and then set me to my feet.

I shuddered, staggering towards the dais, confused, startled and mildly enthralled at what had just happened.

A lone coffin stood on the dais, its’ lid exploded open and a large dragur slowly climbed out. Taller than me, his armor clung to his body. On his head he wore a helm with large horns protruding from either side.

He opened his mouth and a blast of cold air struck me sending me reeling back into the wall. He swiftly moved forward and swung at me with his sword that when it made contact with me, felt like a thousand cold knives stabbing my body as it slashed through the gaps of my armor, cutting the skin below.   
I winced and yelped in pain.

I grabbed my shield from my back and pivoted to my right, favoring my side as I swung my sword slamming into the dragur’s hand desperately trying to loosen his grip on the sword, yet he managed to hold on to it.   
He threw his head back and laughed at me, pointing his sword in my direction.

Sparks flew from his fingertips and he bellowed some words at me in a language that I did not comprehend. I was caught in a current of electricity that burned me from the inside out, my armor beginning to smoke at the edges as he continuously leveled his sentence of pain upon me.   
He stared at me with cold blue eyes that glowed and his breath stank of rotting death as he opened his mouth again to laugh at me.

I felt my anger rise and with it I found the strength to fight him.   
I brought my sword arm up and crossed over, spinning around as quick as I could to hit him squarely in the neck, driving him back. Up on my tip toes I stood, pivoting around him, ducking his outstretched arms as he tried again and again to hit me with his sparks.   
I kept advancing on all sides, delivering blow after blow, sinking my sword into him as quickly as I could until he fell to his knees.

Quickly raising my sword, I delivered the killing blow and stood sweating and shaking with both fear and triumph.

I ransacked the chest beside his coffin, grabbing jewels, coin and on the floor behind the dragur sat a stone-the Dragonstone.

I stopped to grab up the dragur’s sword and felt it to be as light as air and yet colder than ice itself. It glowed blue and hummed in my hand as I swung it around testing it, I decided it would make a fine weapon against any enemies.

Sprinting up the stairs towards a recess in the wall, I discovered a door. I pulled a lever atop a small column and the door groaned upwards into the ceiling and I scooted through the opening as it closed behind me.

I ran through the tunnel, towards the light, jumping down a ledge and out into the fresh air.

 

 


	9. Return

Stars glimmered above me and the two moons hung low. Splashed across the sky, the trail of the green and blue aurora borealis wove its way around the moons and amongst the stars, lending to the already intoxicating sight. The air was filled with the sounds of crickets and a lone wolf’s call to its mate.

I sank to the ground, lying back and greedily gulped the cool night’s air catching my breath; thinking to myself that that was some quest that I had been sent on.

My side ached painfully, but luckily the bleeding had stopped. I wondered if perhaps it had something to do with the blade itself.

Reaching around to where it was sheathed at my waist, I removed it and I admired it once more. I could not believe its lightness and the chill that came off of it.   
Its edges caught the light and glimmered in my hand. Aye, it was a fine piece of workmanship and now it was mine. I resheathed the blade.

My hands went to the knapsack beside me and as I lay back, I wondered if the wizard that had sent me here even cared that I might not make it out alive, if he had ever tried to find this stone that was stored inside my knapsack, of how many poor fools had gone in there before me and had failed.

I doubted he had ever set foot out of Whiterun; he did not seem the adventurous type at all.

Pushing to my feet, I edged my way over the rocks and down the side of the mountain until I found a path that led me back to Whiterun. 

Running through the bush and forest, I could smell something cooking and could hear the gentle cough of someone ahead of me.

I spied a ramshackle cottage and approached cautiously to discover there to be an old woman, who sat on a rickety chair, smoking a pipe.

A cloud of smoke encircled her head and she nodded to me as I approached, my hand on the weapon at my side.

“Don’t mind me dear, I’m just an old woman, enjoying a fine evening.” She spoke to me casually as I approached.

I didn’t think she posed any threat so I ran past her, following the path I was on.

I found the river and to my delight, spotted Riverwood, through the trees. I plodded through the river and ran straight to the Riverwood Trader.

  
~~*~~

I burst through the door, just in time, to hear the man behind the counter arguing with his sister.

“Damn thieves, what a mess they made. I’ll have to replace those bottles of wine next time I’m in Whiterun. I wish they had left the claw, do you know how much trouble it was to find that?”

“Lucan, you never told me the story of how you found that claw.”

“And I don’t plan on you telling you, sister dear. It is really none of your concern. Don’t you have some items to unpack from that shipment we received?”

"Lucan, you are impossible.”

The man behnd the counter snorted as he resumed wiping down the counter.

I cleared my throat to announce my presence and at my embarrassment at being witness to their conversation.

Lucan noticed me standing at the door. “Come on in, the Riverwood Traders still open for business.” He set down the cloth and leaned against the counter.

“Did something happen?” I inquired looking around at the mess within the store.

“Bloody thieves happened! They made this mess and they took my claw!”

I thought for a moment on what he said, questioning his words about the claw, then I rummaged in my knapsack.

“You wouldn’t happen to mean this claw?” I pulled the golden claw out and held it out to him.

The smile that appeared on the man’s face was answer enough. “Where did you find that? Oh never mind, that’s it. That’s my golden claw!”

I handed it over to him.

His sister stepped forward and took up my hand in hers. “Thank you. Thank you so much. Lucan was beside himself over that claw.”

“Yes, thank you, here take this for your efforts. Camilla and I can’t begin to thank you enough.” He held out a small coin purse and smiled ear to ear. “The Riverwood Trader is back in business!”

I had almost forgotten the letter that I was to have delivered to Camilla. I searched my pouch and pulled it out, rumpled and worse from wear.

“Oh, forgive me, I almost forgot, I have a letter, from…Sven.”

Camilla took the letter. “Ooh, another poem probably, he certainly knows how to make a girl blush. He is such a fine bard you know. Very sweet and kind.”

She started to read the letter then her face fell.

“He wrote this? If he thinks I am going to move into his house and clean for him, he can just forget about it. I am not going to be his servant.” She took the letter and crumpled it and threw it into the fire, stamping her foot as she did. “I…I won’t speak to him again, ever!”

I smiled inwardly. 

~~*~~

I later found Faendal by the river, fishing and told him the news. He was excited.

“Good. Now I can woo Camilla without that Sven getting in the way.” He stood and held out a coin purse. “Here take this, it’s a few coins I managed to save up working at the mill. If you ever are in need of anything, friend, I would be more than happy to help.”

“It was nothing really, I didn’t do much.” I pushed the coin purse back at him, but he insisted.

Faendal shook his head. “You did more than you could possibly know, my friend.”

I took the purse and tied it to my waist and nodded my thanks.

  
~~*~~

I returned to Gerdur and Hod’s house for the night, after a quick swim in the river to remove the dirt and grime from my body.

After a light supper, I sat and told them of my adventure in the Barrow, then crawled wearily into bed.  
I slept sounder that night probably more than any night I had in the past few weeks.   
I dreamed of Ralof, in some ruins being pursued by dragur, and then I dreamed of a wolf with pale eyes, that tried to speak to me.

  
~~*~~

I ran up the long stairs, to the doors outside of Dragonsreach, when I heard a voice; it was the young man from the crop field, who had been battling the giant.   
Farkas was his name and it sounded as if he was getting in trouble from another man.

I stood for a moment, listening to their exchange and smiled as I remembered my sister, Phreya and how she would find herself in situations that required her to spend time on a chair by the fire.   
I sighed at the memory then I swallowed the lump in my throat and continued to the doors before me.

I pushed them open and entered the building.

~~*~~

The wizard, Farengar Secret-Fire, was waiting, impatiently pacing back and forth in his study. He moved over quickly to intercept me as I approached.

“Ah, the Jarl’s protégé; back from Bleak Falls Barrows. I see you found it.”

He grabbed the stone from my hands and rushed to his table to decipher it. I saw he was not alone. A woman wearing leather armor with her head covered, stood at the side of his table and she turned away as I approached.

I was about to ask if there was anything else he needed, when Irileth came rushing forward and proclaimed a dragon was attacking the Western Watchtower.

My stomach dropped at her words.

_It could not be him again, could it?_

“Farengar, come the Jarl wishes to speak to you.” She turned to look at me. “You must come too.”

I shivered and shook my head, _not that black beast again_. _There is no way I am about to  engage in battle with that beast. Helgen was enough for me._

Before I could protest, I found I had no choice, I was grabbed by the arm and dragged to where the Jarl was waiting.

  
~~*~~

Jarl Balgruuf was listening to the account of the guard as he explained what had transpired. He stood shaking, his chest heaving. He was terrified and I could relate to those feelings. I was feeling them at that particular moment.

“I thought I was dead for sure! I ran fast, as fast as I could to bring you the news.” The guard continued, his voice shaking.

There was silence in the room and I suddenly felt very vulnerable. I felt several sets of eyes upon me and I found myself looking into the face of the Jarl.

_No, no, please don’t say it._ I thought to myself. I began to tremble.

“It looks like I need your help one more time, my friend. You survived the dragon at Helgen and you might know how to fight this beast.”

I swallowed hard and deep inside of me I felt the need to scream, no! I did not want to face the dragon.   
I found my voice after a moment. “My Jarl, I barely survived the dragon attack at Helgen, I did not fight the beast. I am not some hero...”

He smiled at me. “Nevertheless, you might know how to stop it.”

I dipped my head in acknowledgement, congratulating myself on my good fortune. _I should have run the other way instead of coming here to Dragonsreach._

I adjusted my armor and weapon and ran for the front doors and down the steps to the front gate with Irileth on my heels.   
She paused only long enough to muster her men and we ran to the Western Watchtower.

To our doom perhaps we ran, for fighting a dragon that I knew would not be an easy task.


	10. Dragon and Wolf

Thick black acrid smoke billowed from fires raging on the ground. The smell of death and fear hung in the air.   
Two burned corpses, still smoldering, lay near the crumbling tower.   
A guard appeared in the doorway of the tower and shouted for us to get back-the dragon was coming again.   
I could feel something inside of me; a sense of what, I was not sure. It overpowered me, bringing me to my knees as it swept through my body and in my mind I could hear the distant screams of those that I stood with.

I managed to get to my feet in time to see a dark body soar overhead and a scream escaped from between my own clenched teeth.

Pulling my bow around I notched an arrow and released it hitting the dragon in the tail.

The beast spun easily in the air, like a leaf blowing on the gentle breeze. Time slowed and I felt the air rush past me and felt the flames and fire as it swirled around me.   
I escaped unscathed but with a greater sense of urgency now.   
A loud booming filled my head and I gasped at the pain.

The dragon landed before us, opening its jaws and it breathed fire and smoke engulfing one soldier who fell to the ground screaming in the blaze.

We shot arrows at the hulking beast and raced towards it, with swords raised, but it lifted from the ground, sending a great gush of air from its wings that threatened to topple all as it encircled the tower taunting us with its growls and snapping jaws.

It flew, occasionally dipping down, to try and snatch at a guard as they stood firing arrows from on top the broken watchtower trying to defeat this monstrous beast.

I shouted for it to land so I could kill it and it was as if it heard me for it landed in front of me with eyes of green glowing, red nostrils flaring and steam pouring from its jaws.   
In my head I heard something but could not understand, was this beast trying to communicate with me?

A name filled my head; Mirmulnir, was this this dragon?

I brought the bow up and released an arrow it struck its head and it snorted, its jaws opening before me.   
I sighted a spot under the neck of the dragon, the same spot I spied on the big black brute in Helgen, releasing the arrow it found its’ mark and the dragon raised up on hind legs shouting ”Dovakiin! No!” then crashed to the ground.

Guards ran forward to make sure it was dead and when they were sure, they slowly turned to stare at me.

I strode over to the body of the slain beast and that was when I was engulfed in an explosion of energy that rocked me on my feet.   
Images of dragons flying and calling to one another filled my head.   
I saw hundreds of them, flying, and then they were gone.   
A growl ripped through me as I threw my head back opened my mouth and I shouted a shock-wave that knocked the guards to their knees.

“I can’t believe it…you’re Dragonborn! You shouted…you must be Dragonborn!” The guard that came to stand before me said. “You are Dragonborn, you used the Thu’um.”

I had no idea what he was talking about, and what was this Thu’um, and what was a Dragonborn?

“In oldest tails, back when there were dragons, there were the Dragonborn. They could summon a shout to use on the dragons.” The guard pressed on.

“That is nothing but nonsense.” Irileth spoke as she came to stand next to me, glancing at me warily. “We killed the dragon; see here it lies before us, that is what I know.”

The guards muttered between themselves casting a wary at towards me. I was not sure of what this shouting was and I certainly did not like the attention that I was now garnering.

“The Jarl will want to know what happened here.” Irileth called after me as I backed away. I nodded my head and walked towards Whiterun my mind racing with questions.

~~*~~

As I approached Whiterun, the air was filled with what seemed to be a giant clap of thunder that shook the ground causing me to fall to my knees.

“DOVAKIIN!”

I looked up at the sky and wondered what was going to happen next.

~~*~~

  
Jarl Balgruuf’s steward, Proventus Avenicci, was waiting for me at the top of the stairs.

“Good you’re back the Jarl is waiting.” He hurriedly spoke to me.

I strode to the Jarl and reported on what had transpired at the tower, omitting a few details that pertained to me.

He asked me if I had heard the shouting.

I looked puzzledly at him.

His brother Hrongar explained, along with Jarl, about the Greybeards and the Throat of the World.

I told the Jarl of what had happened to me and waited to be told that I was mistaken, but that was not what I was told.

I was told that I should go there, to see the Greybeards, that perhaps, the guard was right, and that I was this Dragonborn.

The Jarl told me of his journey long ago up the seven thousand steps to the monastery at the top of the world. He told me what little he knew of the Dragonborn of days long ago.

”My friend you have done a great honor for Whiterun and with that honor, I present you with the title of Thane of Whiterun, a war axe from my armory and a housecarl named Lydia. I will also notify the guards, we don’t want them mistaking you for the common rabble now do we?”

I stood blinking at my good fortune, or rather at the immense feelings of guilt and shame that flooded through me as I had original not wanted to do the deed that had been requested of me.  
I had wanted to run and now for my efforts I was elevated to Thaneship? Complete with a house and a housecarl? I was sinking deeper and deeper into this, whatever it was becoming.

I was told there was property available for purchase; the quaint little house beside the blacksmith, Adrianne Avenicci, at the main gate, I had seen upon my first arrival.

I thanked the Jarl, bowed and turned to leave and discovered at the doors a very young woman; dark haired and eyed, maybe just out of girlhood, dressed in steel armor stood waiting for me; this must be Lydia.

“My Thane, I am here to serve you.”

I told Lydia to stay put that if needed I would send for her.

“As you command, my Thane.” Her eyes drifted over me and a smile came to her lips.

I thanked her.

“Very well, my Thane.”

~~*~~

I left Dragonsreach and wandered the streets of Whiterun, my feet taking me wherever.

Thoughts swirled through my mind leaving me more confused than ever. Here now I was proclaimed a Thane, given a housecarl, was allowed to become a citizen of Whiterun and then there was this Dragonborn. What was happening to me? What was I becoming?

Images of the huge black dragon filled my mind, in my ears the noise as he flew overhead; I was so absorbed in thought that I failed to notice the man in front of me and almost bowled him over, nearly falling to my knees.

He put out a hand to steady me and turned to me, a warm smile was spreading across his handsome face; a spark of electricity passing between us.

“In a hurry friend, you should take more care.” His voice was gentle, but with an undertone of authority.  
He was a slight taller than me, built strong and solid, dark-haired with pale blue eyes with the dark stubble of a beard on his chiseled face.   
He looked very similar to the man in the crop field and I wondered if they were twins.   
His armor was steel with a wolfs head on the breastplate and wolfs fur underneath with a kilt of the same fur. On his back hung a greatsword and he carried a banded iron shield.

“I haven’t seen you in Whiterun before, come to join the Companions or are you a sell-sword looking for work?”

I shook my head at his inquiries and I mumbled an apology then hastily turned and fled down the steps realizing that I had wandered into the courtyard behind the building with the large boat turned upside-down on the top; Jorrvaskr.

“Friend,” he called after me, “you need not rush off. Come sit, share a bottle of mead with me. You look like you could use one or two. Did you see a ghost? You’re so pale, I wouldn’t want to be responsible for you bowling someone else over now would I?”

I ran as fast as I could away from this man.

I took a turn and ran down through Whiterun to the doors out.

I bumped into the man delivering firewood, sending his load of wood to the ground.

“Hey! Be careful!” He snapped at me.

I jostled an old woman walking in front of me. I mumbled and apology.

People looked at me in puzzlement.

A guard stepped out in front of me. “Trouble?” He searched my face.

I shook my head. “No everything is fine.”

He opened the large doors for me. “Stay safe.”

I exited out the doors and reminded myself that that was my intentions.


	11. Enter the Wolf's Den

I stood watching, as she ran from me, her auburn hair swinging to and fro. Something about the way she moved, peaked my interest.

I found feelings stirring inside of me, that I had not felt in ages, not since Breena.   
I still missed her and often visited the shrine to pray for her. I blamed myself for what had happened to her; her death was still a raw wound.   
She should not have come with us, that fateful day, if she had not, she would have still been here at Jorrvaskr. She would still be singing, with that sweet lilting voice of hers. She still would have been teasing Farkas and laughing and smiling and… Enough!

I returned my attention to the matter at hand and that was the young woman I had just encountered, the young woman with the largest blue eyes that I could lose myself in.   
I growled and thought I might have had too much ale or that the heat was getting to me.   
I turned and wandered back into Jorrvaskr dismissing her from my thoughts.

~~*~~

The doors closed behind me and I looked up into the sky. I began to walk, nowhere in particular. Where my feet took me I did not care. I wanted to go home even though I knew there was nothing there for me, but I knew I did not want to be here, nor did I want what was thrust upon me. I was young; too young to handle this responsibility that I did not understand.

I walked through a field of flowers and stones, otherwise oblivious to my surroundings. I came to a small brook that twisted lazily through the field. I dropped to my knees and began to weep softly at first then with great sobs that shook my body.   
I cried for my family and my sister, but I mostly cried for myself.

~~*~~

A hand gripped my shoulder, firmly yet gently.   
 Startled, my hand stole to the pommel of my sword, ready to fight.   
I turned my face up to look upon a silver-haired man with a flowing beard, eyes filmy with age and a kindness to them.

He smiled and offered his hand in aid. I took it then stood as he gently wiped a tear on my cheek away.

“I know not of what you cry for lass, I see the turmoil on your face, yet I sense in you an inner strength. Come, walk with me. We need not speak, no words are needed, but let yourself know I am here if need be.”

A great feeling of calm filled every corner of my soul at his words and the sound of his voice.  
I smiled faintly and walked beside the man with silver hair for what seemed an eternity, enjoying the quiet between us.

A little while later, he glanced over at me and I at him.

I noticed that he wore the same armor of the man that I had ran into by Jorrvaskr; the armor with the wolf on the breastplate. It was now that I took in further details of his appearance.

He was a large man and solidly built and yet, carried himself with a grace seldom seen for a man his size.  
His mannerisms may have been cautious and slow, but they were done with a certain deliberateness.  
His eyes were alert to any threat that approached and he held his head cocked to one side, no doubt constantly listening for any intrusion.  
He laid one hand on my arm and pointed ahead of us to where a deer stood still. Lowering her head to nibble at some bushes she remained unimpressed with our presence, then she raised her head and turned to me.   
Our eyes met and she flicked her ears then dashed away, bounding through the grass.

I sighed.

“You are well now?” He queried, his eyes narrowing as he searched my face

I was not sure, but I felt calmer than I ever had since all of these things had transpired.

“Yes.” I whispered.

“Good then, I must take my leave and return to Jorrvaskr, the hour grows late. Perhaps child, you would accompany me? I can offer you food, ale and a safe bed to sleep in. When you are willing we could talk on what pains you or not. Your wish is mine.”

 _Jorrvaskr, back inside of Whiterun, dare I return after my embarrassing departure?_ I hesitated.  
I looked up at the man with the flowing silver hair and the kind eyes.  
There was something about him that made any doubts I had, disappear.

“Fine, I’ll come with you.” I found myself intrigued and wanted to know about Jorrvaskr and maybe this wolf emblem that two men wore.

~~*~~

I gazed down upon the face of this young girl and wondered why she cried.   
What loss had she suffered? What pain had she endured in such a short time of life that I could see? 

I touched her shoulder and her hand defensively went to the pommel of her sword. She was a warrior for sure, with the quickness of a cat.

Wiping a tear from her face, I spoke to her.

“I know not of what you cry for lass, I see the turmoil on your face yet I sense in you a strength. Come, walk with me. We need not speak no words are needed, but let yourself know I am here if need be.”

We walked on in silence. If she wished to speak so be it. I was in no hurry.  
We walked on and stopped to watch a young deer nibbling on some grass. I began to sense a feeling of calm ebbing from her.  
I noticed she glanced my way.

“You are well now?” I asked of her.

She whispered her answer-"yes."

“Good then, I must take my leave and return to Jorrvaskr the hour grows late. Perhaps child, you would accompany me? I can offer you food, ale and a safe bed to sleep in. When you are willing we could talk on what pains you or not. Your wish is mine.”

I awaited her answer hoping she would accompany me. For some reason this young girl touched a part of me that had not been open to feeling in a long time. If I were to put it into words I would look upon her, as the daughter I never had.

~~*~~

Jorrvaskr was indeed a sight to behold.

A large Viking-style ship provided the roof over a hall with a large fire pit enclosed on three sides by tables laden with fruit, cuts of steaming meat, piles of cheeses of every variety, golden loaves of bread still steaming from the oven and trays of sweet treats that made my mouth water.

To my left, a few steps led up to private quarters. In a circle, a few warriors stood, watching two warriors jostle and push each other around, while they tried to land blows on each other. In another corner sat a familiar face, Farkas, the warrior from the crop field. He raised his flagon to me as we passed by.

“Is Vilkas in his quarters?” asked my companion of Farkas.

Farkas nodded. “Aye, do you wish to speak with him, Kodlak?”

“Aye I do, bring him and tell those fools to settle down, we have a guest.” My companion said.

~~*~~

We walked to a set of stairs to the right that led down to doors that opened on a long hall branching to my right.   
Straight ahead a door led to two separate rooms on the left and right.   
Carpets of rich color lined the floor, sconces dotted the walls and tables with more food lined the hallway.   
Wardrobes stood silently, as if sentinels, watching our progression to a small hallway that split into two areas again, left and right, housing two quarters in all four rooms.   
A large doorway stood in the middle open before us. I was ushered through the door and to a chair near a small table.

My companion disappeared for a moment into an adjacent room, his private quarters and returned with two flagons of ale.   
The room where we sat was filled with tables, chests, dressers and book cases. Barrels stood in corners with strange and odd items on and around them.

I greedily drank the ale offered to me while my host called to Tilma, a haggard looking old woman who took an order for food and more ale to be brought to the table.

My host thanked her with genuine words and a smile. “She has been with us for as long as I can remember. Now lass, do you feel like talking or would you prefer to tell an old man to bugger off?”

I snorted and ale came out my nose, I liked this man.

“May we share food and I will tell you all?” I inquired of him.

The food was brought, steaming and piping hot. I ate with an urgency until no more could fill me. I downed my ale then sat back, belched and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

“Excuse me.” I cast my eyes downward. Why was I so comfortable with this man? I looked through veiled eyelashes at his face as he beamed at me.

“By Ysgramor, you are certainly a different one. I think you would fit in here.”

I smiled then the words came spilling like water over a fall, not stopping, rolling with urgency and desperation and nothing was held back.  
When I finished I looked at the man before me, he remained still, not moving, just gazing upon me with no judgment showing on his bearded face. Someone entered the room and came to stand beside me.

“Ah, Vilkas! Come and meet a potential new member.”

I turned in my seat to look on this Vilkas and looked up into the face of the man that I had nearly run over. I felt my cheeks warm as a flush crept across my face. He surely would remember my nearly bowling him over. He looked puzzled for a moment then smiled.

“Surely master, you jest. You are going to let her join us?” He motioned to me.

My companion stood, “I am no ones’ master, Vilkas, and she can try and join, there are empty beds in Jorrvaskr at last count and there is something about this one. Take her out to the yard and give her a try. I’m sure she will surprise you.”

Vilkas lowered his head, “Yes, Kodlak.”

~~*~~

I stood before Vilkas watching as he paced back and forth in front of me like a cat waiting to pounce on its prey, his sword unsheathed at his side, swinging as he walked his eyes looking me over testing for a weakness.

“The old man says I am to give you a try and a try I will give you. You must have bewitched him with those eyes of yours. They will not do the same to me. I will not hold back mind you. Just give me your best, I can take it if you can offer it up, whelp.”

_Whelp? Is that what he called me? I would show him who the whelp was._

I raised my sword and let loose a volley of thrusts and slashes at his head. He pulled his shield up to defend himself and then began his assault in response to mine. I could hear his grunts as I lashed out at him, my anger getting the better of me.

I matched him, move by move avoiding his sword, relishing in his frustration that he could not best me. That was where I found I was wrong.

One minute I was beating him, the next I found myself pinned to the ground, his knee in the center of my chest, his hand at my throat. His eyes were fixed on mine and his mouth was in midst of a snarl.

I watched a single droplet of his blood as it rolled down his cheek from his temple and as it fell and landed on my face. I grimaced and managed to wriggle from out underneath him.   
I had wounded him and he did not like it. I sprang to my feet, slightly wary of my opponent.

Round and round we went, sweat running down my body, my sword arm tiring. I would not give in to this man that dared to call me whelp. _Does he think I am lesser than him? I am not and I will prove it._

I rushed him, catching his side and I went for the obvious wound at his temple, willing to risk whatever treatment he flung at me.

I swung my sword towards his head and caught his cheek this time.

His teeth came together in a snap and he spat blood on the ground.

“Bitch, you dare for seconds?”

I nodded then pounced, shoving my blade into his arm. I was not about to back down, my ire had risen and he was going to pay. I kept pressing him until he finally he stepped back.

“I yield…I yield.”  He lowered his shield and dropped to one knee looking up into my face. His hair fell across his face glistening with sweat mixed with blood and covered his eyes. He lowered his head and cleared his throat.

I stopped my attack and stood panting. 

“You fight well.” He threw at me.

“Do I fight like a whelp with no experience?” I retorted.

He looked into my eyes and it seemed he was about to say something when I heard clapping behind me.

“Vilkas! She certainly showed you she can fight.” It was the woman warrior I had met in the crop field, her red hair flowing over her shoulders; she approached with a barrel-chested man, dressed in the same wolf armor that Vilkas wore.

“You fight well, I would be proud to call you Shield-Sister.” The red-head spoke.

“She can’t be called that until she proves herself. Playing around with Vilkas in the yard is one thing, but out there,” the barrel-chested man pointed to the mountains, “that is where her metal will be tested.”

The two walked away and I found my teeth clenched together. Seething, I turned to Vilkas, who stood watching them leave.

“Calm yourself, Skjor is right. Before you can join the Companions, you must pass a test…alone.”

_What more of me did they want? Had they not heard of my battle with the dragon here and at Helgen? Had they not heard the rumors of me being this...Dragonborn? Had they not heard of the suffering I had endured and the loss which fueled my fire and drove me forward like an arrow released from its bow? Aye, I would take their test and I would show them and myself what I was made of._

I sheathed my sword, regaining my composure and held my hand out to Vilkas.

He took my small hand in his and shook it with a broad smile broaching his face.

“Before you go, take my sword to Eorlund Gray-Mane and ask to have it sharpened, after that see Farkas, he will tell you where you will go.”

~~*~~ _  
_

I found Eorlund Gray-Mane at the top of the stairs beside the yard, just under the large bird statue, hunched over a grindstone sharpening an axe.  
Tall, built like an ox he was, with flowing white hair. He stood, joints popping and creaking as he stretched. His eyes looked me over.

“Aye?”

I smiled faintly. “Vilkas commanded me to bring his sword to you to be sharpened.”

“You must be the new, whelp.” The man spoke to me.

I bristled at the name.

“Don’t worry; they were all whelps not that long ago and no one commands you girl, remember that.”

I thanked him and turned to leave.

“Can you do an old smith a favor? Could you take this shield I have finished to Aela? I would appreciate that. I need to finish and get home to my wife; she hasn’t been right since our son disappeared.”

My heart went out to the woman and to Eorlund. I nodded. “Yes, I can do that.”

~~*~~

Inside Jorrvaskr, I found Aela in her quarters, with Skjor, in the middle of a conversation about all the young whelps and the trouble they would end up in if they didn’t behave.   
I felt small entering the room and handed the shield to Aela.

“You fight well. If you wish to fight with me you need to be fast and light on your feet. I think you are both.”

I nodded, not really caring to fight with her.

Skjor called for Farkas. “He will show you to your bed.”

Farkas appeared and was greeted with insults from Aela. How he could put up with them, I couldn’t fathom. It further cemented my opinion of him and of Aela.

Farkas smiled upon seeing me.

“I’m glad you are here, I hope you stay, not too many of the new ones do.”

We walked down the long carpeted hall towards the room in which I would sleep.

“Choose a bed and fall in it, but first I have a job for you. There has been trouble here in Whiterun. I need you to show who is in charge. No blood is to be spilled, which means, _no_ killing; do I make myself clear?” He growled. 

I nodded, my eyes growing large.

“Good then. You are to take care of a man, Nazeem, pompous ass of a man who thinks he has the Jarl’s favor and his ear. He has been making things tough, for a few of our fairer citizens and has _even_ stepped on our toes. Go teach him a lesson he won’t forget, but remember- _no killing_. Return to me when you have.”

I looked at Farkas and nodded my head.

 

 


	12. First Provings

Nazeem stood, arms folded, closely watching the young girl choosing what vegetables she would purchase. His tongue slid out of his mouth as he licked his lips, his mind wandering dangerously around several ideas as to what he would have done if only they were alone and not here in the market.   
Sighing heavily and with growing frustration, he moved in on her from behind, bumping into her innocently at first then grazing her nimble body with his as he moved against her, pretending to be interested in some of the vegetables on display. He felt his excitement rise as he grazed her body with his own and he smiled as he moved in again daring to touch her further.

I stood a bit away watching him and felt the bile rise in my throat at his disgusting display.  
Whether or not I had been given this order by the Companions, I would have gladly sought out this lecherous man and made it clear his behavior was not wanted and would not be tolerated.

My hand tightened on the pommel of my sword. I remembered the words Farkas spoke to me- _no killing_. I bit my lip and drew blood, the taste of iron on my tongue and I hoped that would suffice my seeking of Nazeem's blood.   
This creepy man deserved death, as I watched him; he touched Ysolda's hair that lay over her shoulder, his eyes crawling greedily over her ample breasts.   
He leaned towards her I thought for a chance to steal a kiss and she stepped back. 

“What is it that you want, Nazeem?” She snapped with her face flaming red.

He smiled and showed his white teeth then brought his hand up to try and touch her again.

“Oh Ysolda, you know what I desire. Why not come with me to my room and I will show you.”

Ysolda gasped and stepped back further from the insults of the man who now had my full attention and disgust.

“Nazeem, please, stop. I am not interested in you. How many times must I tell you to leave me alone?”

I strode forward placing myself between him and the young girl.

“Is there a problem here?” The words dripped with venom and I could see Nazeem shift uncomfortably on his feet as he took my appearance in.

He smiled, thinking I was of no immediate threat and knowing that in the market place he was probably safe from any threat from me with the presence of the guards nearby.

“None of your concern now beat it!” He spouted bravely, as he drew himself up tall and puffed his chest out in an attempt to prove his importance.

He moved closer to me to try and intimidate me and that was when I struck him.

He reeled back and whimpered, then lifted a hand to touch his lip that begun to bleed, _oops I drew blood, Farkas might not like that_ , but I decided there at that moment, guards or not, this bastard was about to get the beating of his life.

“How dare you! Do you know who I am?” His voice rose in succession as he uttered each sentence. He began to shriek at me like some keening animal.

He clenched his fist, then shoved me back.

 _Not a good idea, Nazeem._ I stepped back, then threw a punch, knocking him hard.

“How dare you strike me, you impudent bitch! I will have your…” He stared up at me from the ground where he now sat on his ass.

On lookers stood around, tittering like old fishwives behind me. They pointed at him and I was sure it only fueled his resolve to show that he was in charge of the situation and not I.

Nazeem made to stand and I moved to block him as I towered over him. I stared down at him, my face in a grimace, hoping he would give me a reason to pull my blade.   
It would have been too easy; he wasn’t a man, but a puffed-up boy in man clothes. I had seen his kind before and I knew that once they had been put in their place, they would back down.

I leaned down to him and stared him in the eyes. “Let me make this perfectly clear and I will go slowly, so you can follow easily. You ever touch Ysolda or look at her or in fact, any other woman like how you did, you won’t be able to wipe your ass, because I will cut off your hands and on second thought, maybe I will come back for the thing that you obviously value between your legs. The Companions will not put up with you and…”, to prove a point I unsheathed my weapon and lowered my voice to a whisper, “neither will I. Are we clear, Nazeem?” 

I moved back and glanced at Ysolda who stood with eyes that had begun to glisten with tears. She smiled and dipped her head in thanks. I nodded to her, then turned and looked back down to Nazeem who began to stand quickly.

He stared at me then past me to Ysolda who glared at him.

“Clear.” Came his wavering answer and then he turned tail and ran away while everyone in the marketplace laughed.

Ysolda approached me cautiously and took my hand in hers. She smiled warmly. "Thank you."

I returned her smile.

  
~~*~~

I returned to Farkas who was doubled over laughing.

“I heard about Nazeem. I wish I had been there to see you. You handled yourself well, whelp. Ysolda will be very pleased and I am sure so will a few others.”

I snarled. “Don’t call me that or you will get what Nazeem got.”

Farkas threw his hands up. “Whoa! Just kidding, just kidding, you got a name I can call you?”

I dropped my slight irritation and told him.

"Very well then, Phenarie. Good job."

  
~~*~~

I went to sit at the table and have something to eat and drink when Vilkas came by. He pulled a chair out and leaned on the back of it.

“I heard you finished the job for Farkas. Good work. You bring honor to the Companions. Come on, Skjor was looking for you earlier, he wants to talk to you.”

I hesitated. “Did I do something wrong?”

Vilkas shook his head as we entered the yard. “He has a job for you. Before you go, bring honor to our name always and one thing; make sure you come back alive.”

  
~~*~~

I spotted Skjor leaning against the wall and strode over to him. Inside I was shaking. There was something about this barrel-chested man that I did not like.

He stared at me. “Good, I was looking for you.” He spoke gruffly to me. “It seems your time has come to prove yourself worthy of becoming a member of the Companions and perhaps the Circle. A scholar came today and told us of a resting place of a piece of Wuuthrad, Ysgramor’s battleaxe. You shall retrieve it, do this and you may join us, fail and you will not be welcome here.  You will take Farkas, he will be your Shield-Brother on this mission, and he will make sure you are honorable. Take care not to get him killed or taint the name of the Companions. Think you can handle that, whelp?”

I gritted my teeth at that name again. “Aye, I can do that.”

  
~~*~~

I found Farkas, waiting for me by the front doors of the hall, leaning against the wall, eating an apple. He finished it then threw the core away.  
There was something about this man that I liked; he could be a brother for all intense purposes. He was easy to be with and considering I had no family left, that lifted my heart.

“Where are we headed?” I asked.

“Dustman’s Cairn, it’s northeast of Whiterun. It shouldn’t take us long to get there. Come, let us run.”

  
~~*~~

  
Dustman’s Cairn lay about maybe six miles from Whiterun and did not take long to arrive at.

I ran down the curved stairs and stood before the black engraved doors waiting for Farkas to catch up.

Farkas lay a hand on my arm, as we stepped inside. He pointed to the disturbed sarcophagi. “Someone has been digging. Could be still here.”

Bodies of dragur lay on the floor and in the center of the room were a table and a chest.

I strode to the table and lifted a book to read its cover-The Battle of Sancre Tor. The chest contained a few coins which I offered to Farkas but he told me to keep them.

We followed a short tunnel that lead to a small room with an arcane enchanter, a throne and a room with a few potions and a lever.   
I pulled the lever and to my upset found myself locked in with no apparent way out.

Farkas appeared on the other side of the gate with a mocking smile. “Look what you got yourself into, whelp. Hold on, I’ll see if there is a way out…”

I was about to tell him off when I heard a scraping sound behind him.

I screamed at Farkas. “Watch out!”

Five bandits appeared from an adjacent room and encircled him with swords and axes readied for battle as they snapped insults at him and called him dog. One questioned which one was he and another snapped that it didn’t matter-he wore the armor.

I didn’t understand.

Farkas growled, bending over in what appeared to be pain. _No one has yet to touch him,_ I thought to myself, _what is wrong?_

There was a blood-curdling howl then the sound of something snapping and cloth tearing. I heard a deep growl followed by what sounded like a wolf or a bear growling.

I stood transfixed by what I saw before me.   
Farkas was hunched over, he dropped to his knees and he was…changing? His skin was rippling, something under him, no inside of him was moving, his skin was splitting as the something was crawling from within him.   
He was becoming something, some kind of a creature in front of my very eyes; tall and fur-covered, mouth full of sharp teeth, dark and with evil-looking claws that were razor sharp; I swallowed down the scream that threatened to launch itself from my mouth.   
_My eyes are deceiving me, I cannot believe what I am seeing, no it cannot not be…he is becoming, a werewolf?!!_

My mind went numb; I felt my heart racing in my chest as I could not tear my eyes away from the scene before me. I thought them to be only stories told to scare children. _This cannot be real._  
But here was one, right before me. I tried to move but I was paralyzed with fear. I told my feet to move, but they would not listen. I could only stand and watch at what happened next to my horror and my curiosity.

The first bandit took a swipe of the deadly claws to his head and he fell down not moving, while a second tried to stab Farkas in the side of the neck, but she too went down heavy like a sack of potatoes hitting the bottom of a cart.   
Two bandits, who were pretty big men, were grabbed and their heads smashed together; the resulting sound was like a gourd hitting a wall.   
The fifth bandit paused for a moment, looking for a way to kill Farkas, which was his mistake. He was nearly cut in half from the force of the claws ripping his armor open. He looked down at his chest and saw his life ebb from where his heart had been. 

My mind screamed for me to move back and to hide now and I shrank as far back into the room, as I could, with my sword drawn.   
I would not go out of this world without at least some of a fight. 

The beast came to the bars of my apparent cage and peered at me through the bars of the gate and seemed to smile a wolfish grin then it disappeared.

Moments later the gate began to lift in front of me and my heart leapt. I closed my eyes and thought of my sister and how I would see her soon. I thought of all the things that I would miss and I thought I heard someone snort and laugh.  
I opened one eye slowly to see Farkas’s smiling face appear.

“I hope I didn’t scare you.” He stood there laughing while I just stood rooted to the spot terrified. A sense of relief washed over me then the terror settle back in.

“You…you’re a…you’re a werewolf!” I kept my sword pointing at his chest.

“It’s a blessing given to some of us. We can be like wild beasts; fearsome.”

“Fearsome yes, but a blessing?-I highly doubt that Farkas.” I shifted against the wall, looking for an escape. “You’re not… you’re not planning on making me a… a umm, werewolf, are you?” The latter half of the question came out in a rather squeaky voice.

Farkas shook his head then held his hand out to me. The claws were gone, replaced by his hands, just his hands.

I stared at him, for a few moments before my body caught up to my brain and then I made my move.

I shook my head and brushed past him, my knees shaking, tears welling up in my eyes, my breath coming to me in rapid gulps. Oh Kynareth, he’s going to kill me, he is going to rip me apart, just like the bodies that lay at my feet, I thought as I looked down at the carnage around me.

He cleared his throat and that made me jump. I spun around, waiting for the inevitable end to come and looked at him.

“Only the Circle has the beast-blood, you‘re here to prove your honor, Phenarie, to become a Companion. We have a saying; eyes on the prey not the horizon.” He walked towards me and held out his hand again and I hesitated.

“I would no more harm you then you would me. I trust you, Phenarie.”

I understood then that I was not in any danger from him.

  
~~*~~

We continued on through tunnels until we happened upon a door.

“Dustman’s Crypt.” Farkas murmured.

The doors opened slowly and we stepped through and into a caged walkway, down below I could see bandits rifling through several urns and chests. I pointed down to them.

Farkas nodded and we moved quietly along the walkway.

Running down a small tunnel, we fought several bandits and encountered a few dragur, lazily rising from their crypts, lining the walls of the chamber.   
I found a chest under the bridge and inside a key that I hoped opened a door at the end of the chamber.   
I was about to step through the door, when a skeever launched itself towards me, it fell back dead as Farkas slashed it. Two more appeared around a corner and they too died by his hand. 

We reached a room, with an alchemy table and out of the corner of my eye; I thought I saw something move in the dark recesses.   
I smiled at Farkas and watched as his smile faded and his eyes grow large, he grabbed his sword up and yelled for me to move as a giant Frostbite spider jumped out of the dark followed by two little ones. 

I slashed at the little ones wildly, while Farkas fought the larger and after a brief struggle, killed it. He stood staring at it for a few moments then he shuddered and wiped his blade clean on a piece of burial linen lying on the floor. He returned to staring at the beast, until I tapped him on the shoulder.

He looked at me with a strange look on his face. “I have never seen one that big before.” He responded, his voice wavering slightly.

“You not afraid of spiders are you?” I inquired.

Farkas shook his head, his cheeks coloring. "I am not fond of them." He smiled weakly.

I did not press him on the matter any further.

~~*~~

We continued on, into a room, with a bubbling brook, running through the center of the floor with two bridges above spanning the brook.

As I crossed the first bridge I heard the hollow sound of a sarcophagi lid hitting the ground and I came face to face with a dragur raising his bow to my head. I moved quickly forward and he fell as I thrust my sword up into his chest.   
My hand made contact with his decaying skin and his dried organs and I shuddered.   
He reeked of death and mold and I barely managed to hold onto the contents of my stomach.

I moved to the brook and quickly washed away the remnants of his remains from my hand and sword.

Farkas stood by watching me and he nodded his understanding. He was about to speak when he heard the second dragur making its way towards us.  
Farkas threw his sword and it cleaved the second dragur almost in half. Retrieving his blade he grimaced then nodded for us to continue on.

Coming upon an iron door we pushed it open and found a chamber opening onto a hall then another chamber.   
Surveying the chamber all appeared quiet. 

Crypt upon crypt stood lining the walls on either side of the hall and I hoped they were empty. They seemed to stretch on and on. They were up on the second level to my left and I felt a great unease settle into the pit of my stomach.  
At the end of the chamber stood another larger sarcophagus and behind it was a table with the fragment of Wuuthrad lying as if in wait for us to retrieve it.  
My eyes moved past the sarcophagus and the table to what stood behind; a large black wall, like the one I had seen in Bleak Falls Barrow.

I shook my head as I looked at the black wall, the sounds already starting to call to me as I stood recalling what had happened the last time I had encountered the one at Bleak Falls Barrow.

 _I do not want what it is offering to me. It can give its gift to someone else, not me._ I thought.

As if it knew my inner most thoughts, it began to call to me even louder, pulling me, enticing me, overpowering me with its sleekness and its inner power.  
As I approached the wall, the familiar blue light swirled around me; it enveloped me, like a lover and then came the sound of dragons, their screaming filling my ears.  
What started as a weak pulse soon increased to a deafening pounding beat in my head. I sank to my knees overwhelmed, exhausted at the fight that I was trying to put up against an enemy that I could not win against.  
My last thoughts were of Farkas and I wondered if this was how he felt when he changed into the werewolf.  
  


Farkas came to stand over me, I could hear him asking in the distance if I was all right, but I could not answer. The pounding grew more forceful; I had to relieve the pressure inside my head before it exploded. I did the only thing that I could and I threw my head back and shouted, this time with more intensity than when killing the dragon at the watchtower.

Farkas was lifted from his feet and knocked across the dais to the ground at the bottom of the steps that we had walked up. He rolled to his knees panting furiously, his eyes darting around the room looking for the cause of his new location.

I slowed my breath and tried to focus. The pounding in my head was gone but it was replaced with another sound. It was a sound that terrified me, the sound of several lids of the sarcophagi landing with a dull resonating thud on the stone floor.

The dragur shambled forward, with weapons ready to kill, their eyes glowing a cold icy blue. They laughed their deep guttural laugh that was equally disconcerting and chilling.

Their shriveling skin and armor hung slack from their bodies, and they stank of death as they drew nearer to me.  
Some were missing eyes and the empty sockets that stared at me, made me feel ill.

Farkas still on his knees was not going to be able to get to the dragur aiming for me, so I threw my head back and shouted using the power that was granted to me.

Two dragur fell to the ground immediately and I rushed to them, my sword swinging. I bent quickly to grab up a Nordic axe that lay on the floor and dual welded the weapons in my hands.

I saw Farkas finally stand and take on three dragur that were trying to push him up against the wall; a fourth beginning to amble towards him with a war axe in hand ready to strike.   
He fought desperately but was obviously still weakened by my shout. 

A dragur swung his sword and caught Farkas in his side, cutting deeply. Snarling he dropped his weapon his hands coming up to cover his face and began to change. His skin rippled and bones snapped, claws replaced hands, a snout appeared with sharp teeth and fur blossomed all over his body. He snarled then leapt at the dragur, blood flying, and the dragur fought back aimlessly.

I ran forward axe in hand and chopped the dragur’s head from his body and watched as it rolled away.   
The remaining two dragur fell to Farkas’ claws.   
I ran forward to catch a dragur as he ascended from a crypt close to the dais. Farkas ran past me and finished what few dragur remained that began to rise from their sarcophagi.

 

Farkas came to stand before me, his chest laboring, his eyes rolling white, he began to change back and fell to his knees before me, reaching out to clutch my hand.   
The beast strength in him ebbed and slowed as the blood oozed down his side and I was worried that the wound might be more serious than I anticipated. 

I reached inside my armor and ripped a clean piece of tunic from my bodice and pressed it to his side to staunch the flow of blood.

Kneeling beside him, I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around him trying to raise him to his feet.

His arms snaked out to roughly pull me closer; he clung to me breathing heavily, a sob escaped from his lips and he lay his head on my shoulder. His breath was hot on my neck. He smelled of sweat mixed with the sweet scent of honey and something musky. I felt the some form of energy passing to him, enveloping him.

He tightened his grip on me his hands moving to cup my face. His lips met mine and he kissed me lightly. I held on tight for a brief second, then he released me.

 

He leaned back on his haunches and smiled at me, his face flushed and damp with sweat. “Wow! What was that?”

I shook my head. “I am not sure. I think it was some form of a healing spell, are you alright?”

Farkas stood stretching and offered a hand to me pulling me to my feet. “I am now.”

I blushed.

Farkas looked around and pointed up to a ledge. “I see a way through that crypt there, come on let’s see if it’s the way out.”

We grabbed up a few choice weapons and climbed up to the ledge. We found ourselves back in the main entrance, then out of the doors and into the light of evening.   
Stars hung in the sky and fire bugs fluttered and danced before us, oblivious to what we had encountered within.  
A Luna moth floated slowly by, dancing on the evening’s breeze.   
We looked at each other then ran headed towards Whiterun and to Jorrvaskr and a flagon of ale or two.

  
~~*~~

As we ran back to Jorrvaskr I matched her pace, occasionally stealing a glance over her way.   
I hoped I had not offended her with my impulse, it was meant to be a gesture of thanks.   
Vilkas always said I acted sometimes hastily. I hoped that this was not one of those occasions.  
As I ran beside her I thought on what I had witnessed in the Cairn and I realized that she was no ordinary woman.  
I realized now too, that I would do anything to protect her, if need be.


	13. Joining

Jorrvaskr appeared before us and the doors opened; Tilma gestured with her hand. “Round back, hurry, they’re waiting!”

Farkas turned to me. “It seems that ale will have to wait.”

We rounded the corner to find Kodlak, Skjor, Aela and Vilkas waiting by the wall, at the back of the yard. Ria, Njada, Athis and Torvar sat under the canopy watching.

Skjor stepped forward, glancing between Farkas and me. “Good you have returned, with Farkas intact and I see with the fragment.”

I bit my tongue and nodded as I handed it over to him.

Kodlak stepped forward. “Brothers and sisters of the Circle, today we welcome a new soul into our mortal fold. This woman has endured, has challenged and showed her valor. Who will speak for her?”

Farkas stepped forward, looking directly into my eyes. “I stand witness to the courage of the soul before us.”

“Would you raise your shield in her defense?” Kodlak queried.

“I would stand at her back that the world might never overtake us.” Farkas grinned at me.

Kodlak smiled. “And would you raise your sword in her honor?”

Farkas nodded. “It stands ready to meet the blood of her foes.”

“And would you raise a mug in her name?” Kodlak asked.

“I would lead the song in triumph as the mead hall reveled in her stories.” Farkas replied.

“Then the judgment of this Circle is complete. Her heart beats with fury and courage that has united the Companions since the days of the distant green summers. Let it beat with ours that the mountains may echo and our enemies tremble at the call.” Kodlak finished.

“It shall be so!” the members of the Circle said in one voice.

Skjor, Aela and Vilkas walked away, but Kodlak and Farkas remained by my side. Kodlak looked to me, his eyes searching mine. “Well girl, you are one of us now. I know you will not disappoint. I knew that I saw something strong in you.”

I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him and he hugged me tightly in return. “Thank you.” I managed to whisper and kissed his cheek lightly. A tear escaped from the corner of my eye and Kodlak wiped it away with his thumb.   
I found so much comfort in his touch, his very presence. He was becoming very special to me.

He squeezed my hand and smiled, then he released my hand and walked towards the canopy, stopping to chat with Ria and Njada. He strode into Jorrvaskr.

Vilkas returned and came to stand beside me, his eyes searching my face. “I see you heeded my words.”

I looked out the corner of my eye at him then turned to face him. “Which part, where you told me to come back alive or the part to bring honor to the Companions?”

He stepped closer to me. He looked down at me, his face coming closer to mine. He studied me for a few seconds then he took in a deep breath, stepping back a bit. “I can hear your heart beating. I can hear the blood rushing through your veins. I can smell… _you_.” He opened his mouth to say something else, but he stopped and he walked away without a backwards glance.

Farkas came over to me, poking my arm.  "I’m glad I can call you Shield-Sister now, instead of whelp. Are you ready for that ale?”

I punched his arm as I nodded. My eyes wandered back to Vilkas as he walked away and I wondered what was going on with him.

~~*~~

I awoke the next morning with a start, unsure of where I was for a moment. I heard snoring and rolled over to see Njada and Ria lying in their beds, sound asleep.  
I pulled on my boots, splashed some cold water on my face and tying my hair up into a ponytail, I headed out into the hall to look for some food for my grumbling stomach.   
The tables in the hall were empty of food, but I could smell something delicious wafting down from the main hall.   
My stomach growled louder at the prospect of food.   
I opened the doors and headed up the stairs. The smell of the food was stronger here and my mouth salivated.   
I choose a chair and grabbed up a hunk of still warm golden bread and cheese from a platter then seeing a platter of still steaming sweet rolls, I reached for one but stopped when a hand reached for the same one.   
I looked over at Vilkas and offered a not so heart full apology; I had seen the sweet roll first.

“Here,” He offered me the sweet roll and went to reach for another one, “You had that one in mind, eh?”

I nodded to him thinking perhaps he was a sweet roll thief, as I pulled mine closer to me.

He stood with a grunt and disappeared for a moment then he returned with two mugs of warm ale. “How does it feel to have joined the Companions?” He inquired as he sat down heavily on the chair, handing me one of the mugs of ale.

I chewed on the bread and thought about how I felt. I was content, but a part of me felt guilt over my happiness. I then wondered why his sudden change in attitude. Before it seemed as if he was somehow upset with me and now he was being friendly? I could not figure this man out.

Vilkas must have seen something in my eyes because he reached out to grip my shoulder. “I guess we all have our demons to fight.” Vilkas spoke after a moment.

I nodded. I watched him for any indication of he might want to explain what he had meant by his words in the yard the previous evening, but he did not seem to want to discuss it. _And they think women are confusing._

~~*~~

After breakfast, I meandered around the yard, watching Farkas train, while Ria and Vilkas were exchanging swats with swords.  
Aela and Skjor watched on.   
Aela stood from her chair and stretching her lithe body, she glanced over at Skjor then tilting her head to one side and she smiled at him. She moved inside Jorrvaskr, with Skjor following her like a puppy.

I raised one eyebrow and turned to Njada, who sat, sharpening stone in hand, working on her sword. “Is there something between those two?” I queried.

Njada stopped her sharpening and snorted. “You know, it isn’t really any of your business. And it is none of your business what goes on between those two, but since you’re new here, I’ll cut you some slack. Oh and a word of advice, just don’t get too comfortable. You haven’t proven yourself, to me.”

I raised both eyebrows as she stood and left me alone. _Kind of touchy aren’t you,_ I thought. I would have to remember not to get on her bad side that was, if she had a good side.

I decided I would head around the front of Jorrvaskr, to walk through Whiterun. I found Lydia, sitting on a bench, under the tree, in the center of the courtyard.

She smiled and motioned for me to join her.“My Thane, how are you?”

I smiled and told her I was good, that I had joined the Companions.

“You are honorable joining them. They are skilled warriors and have aided many people. Amren lost his father’s sword to thieves and they returned it to him. Vilkas helped Ysolda recover a lost ring. He is very handsome, don’t you think?” She sighed.

I looked at her; the thought might have crossed my mind. I shrugged and stood. “I suppose he is, but he is not my type.” I changed the subject. “Lydia, that house, the steward spoke about, is there any chance of having a look inside?”

Lydia blinked and raised one eyebrow. “Are you thinking of purchasing it, my Thane?”

I looked at her. "Lydia, I have a name, it is Phenarie, please stop calling me, my Thane. I may be the Thane, but Phenarie will suffice.”

Lydia flushed. “I am sorry my…Phenarie. I will inquire about the key so you may see the home, it is called Breezehome.”

I nodded and informed her that I would meet her later. I wandered around, thinking over what had happened in Dustman’s Cairn. It had been the second wall that I had been exposed to and I did not like it one bit.   
I could not understand what was happening to me and I did not know who I could talk to about it. The only person, that had witnessed what had happened to me, was Farkas and I doubted he understood it, any better than I did.

I returned to Jorrvaskr, searching Farkas out, and found him in his quarters. I sat on a chair and watched him working on his armor.

After a few moments of silence he finally broke it by speaking. “What is it that troubles you? Are you thinking of what happened at Dustman’s Crypt?”

I nodded. “I am not sure of what is happening to me. I’m scared.”

“I would be scared too. What I saw, was not as bad as what you probably felt. I don’t understand what it is, but if you want to talk about it, I am here Shield-Sister.”

I playfully punched his arm.

“I will take you up on that offer, when I discover more about it. Thank you for listening.”

Farkas nodded returning to his armor.

I left his quarters not feeling any surer of what was going on, but I knew I could at least talk with Farkas.

I opened the door and ran into Vilkas who was shirking his armor off as he was coming down the hall to his quarters. He stood bare-chested, sweat gleaming on his well sculpted arms and chest.  
He stood there, staring coldly at me as I passed by him. “Skjor was looking for you earlier.” He growled. “He is in the main hall. Don’t keep him waiting.”

His tone implied anger with me. Perhaps it was for seeing me leaving Farkas’s quarters. Not that I consider it to be any of his business, but I was not certain I should say that to him.

~~*~~

I took the stairs two at a time and found Skjor waiting impatiently. “There you are. I have something different for you. Meet me at the Underforge tonight and we will discuss it.”

“The Underforge, where is that?” I asked.

“I forgot, you are still new here. I will be outside in the yard after dark, meet me there.”

I nodded and headed out of Jorrvaskr to meet with Lydia.

~~*~~

She was standing before the door of Breezehome with key in hand. “Ready?”

I nodded.

She placed the key in the lock and I could hear the tumblers turning, by the sounds emanating from them, they were in desperate need of some oil.

The room we entered was dark and smelled of dust and dampness.

Lydia went to the windows and threw the shutters open. Light filtered in, exposing the room, which probably would have been the sitting area. There was a fire place against one wall, with a cooking spit upon the stone hearth, a dining area and pantry and an area that could be used as a bedroom or storage area.   
Under the stairs on the left wall, several empty crates sat.   
The stairs led up to a L shaped landing and to the left, there was a small room that I thought could be a bedroom under the slanted walls. At the other end of the L shaped landing, was a larger room that could be a master bedroom. It opened out onto the sitting area allowing one to see the front door below.

We returned to the main level and l glanced around once more.

“What do you think?” Lydia asked.

I shrugged. “It isn’t in bad shape, and it isn’t in great shape either. A few repairs are required and with a good and thorough cleaning and the right furniture and a fire burning upon the hearth, well, that certainly would go a long way in making this a suitable home. How much is the steward asking for?”

Lydia half smiled. “When I told him that it was you wanting to see it he would not tell me. He told me to tell you to come and see him if you were interested, which is unusual.”

I wondered why it was unusual. Was there something more that I was required to do for the Jarl? Or perhaps there was something personal that the steward required.

I thanked Lydia and told her I would speak to the steward and let him know if I were interested.  
I looked around the house one more time and made my mind up. I could settle down here and maybe have a proper home.

~~*~~

I headed for Dragonsreach, with coin purse in hand, weighing it to see if there would be enough. I hoped it would be.  
I found Proventus Avenicci sitting eating dinner. He nodded when he saw me and asked me to join him.

“I’m inquiring about Breezehome. How much are you asking for it?” I hoped that I had enough coin.

“My dear, you are in luck. The price has been reduced to half of what it was. It seems you have a guardian that believes you deserve a home. It just needs to be furnished and then will be ready for you to move in. I believe Lydia has the key?”

I stared at Proventus dumbfounded at his words and nodded. “Can you say that again?” I stammered.

Proventus smiled at me and repeated what he said, informing me of who my guardian was and then inquired as to what furnishings I wished to purchase.

“I have no idea what furniture there is to purchase.”

“Don’t worry; there is a book on how to decorate your new home somewhere on the shelf behind me in that bookcase. When you have decided let me know and the items will be delivered.”

I stood and went to the bookcase and found the book I sought and flipped through. I returned to Proventus and told him of my choices.

“Very well, I will have the items delivered to your home. It should be set up by this evening or on the morrow. Does that suit you?”  
I smiled and thanked him then handed him my coin purse. He took only three hundred gold coins for the furniture and the sum for the house. As he handed the purse back to me, I looked puzzled.

“It is enough.” He said reassuringly, returning to his meal.

~~*~~

I ran into Jorrvaskr and down to Kodlaks’ quarters. He was reading as I entered and I cleared my throat to get his attention. He looked up and smiled. “I see I have a visitor. What can I do for you, girl?”

“I came to ask why?”

A broad smile appeared on his face as he lay the book down and stood resting his hands on my shoulders. “I had a feeling a proper home would be good for you. Living here in Jorrvaskr is fine, for the rabble that is here, but you seem to belong elsewhere. Think of it as a gift and do not be angry with me, but know I expect you to allow me to come and share a meal or two with you. I will bring the ale or mead, you stock a good fire and we will sit and ponder all.”

I threw my arms around his neck and tears ran down my face. I noticed it was getting late and excused myself; I had to meet with Skjor and did not dare to keep him waiting, frankly, he scared me.

~~*~~

I found Skjor in the yard, torch in hand, casting long shadows across the ground and his face. I could not make out his eyes behind the shadow to read what lay ahead. He motioned for me to follow him to the Underforge, a chamber beneath the Skyforge that stood silent while its’ master Eorlund slept.

My eyes took a moment to adjust to the dim light and when they did I was shocked to see a werewolf pacing on the other side of an empty fountain.

Skjor walked towards the werewolf and touched its arm. “I hope that you would recognize Aela, she will be your forebearer. What transpires here will be kept a secret from Kodlak Whitemane. That pitiful ceremony in the courtyard is not enough for a warrior to become one of the inner Circle. This is a far more suitable ceremony for those of us that are deserving of the title. Are you ready newcomer to join us; to join the Circle truly?”

I looked from Skjor with a knife in his hand to Aela in her beast form. I wasn’t sure what was expected of me. “Am I to become like her? Are all the members of Circle like this?”

Skjor nodded. “To accept this gift is to truly make you stronger. You will join us and become more powerful than you can imagine.”

I thought of Farkas and what I had witnessed in Dustman’s Cairn. _Aye, it might make me stronger, though it looked extremely painful, but the power of it is something that can not be denied._  
 _I wish I had asked Farkas about it, if I had known, that this was what Skjor had intended for me this evening._ I thought for a moment longer then nodded my acceptance.

Skjor cut Aela’s arm and blood ran into the empty fountain. Skjor beckoned me forth, for me to drink and I hesitated a moment before I scooped up the blood in my hands and drank.   
It was sweet and salty, like an old wine and as it ran down my throat, I began to cough. The chamber began spinning before me, the floor disappearing beneath my feet. I heard a wolf howl somewhere in the distance then everything was turning black. My knees shook and I slumped to the floor, unconscious.


	14. Silver and Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to a unforeseen glitch, a chapter was not posted- go figures eh??  
> I apologize sincerely to those of you who were following along. I have since added the proper sequence and now we may return to the story.  
> Thank you for your understanding. Shit happens.

I awoke with a slight headache, my body feeling as if I had been in a battle and chilled. I felt as if I had consumed too much wine. Rolling over onto my knees, I swallowed, wishing I had some water to clear the horrible taste out of my mouth. I blinked until my eyes focused and they found Aela standing with her back to me watching a fortress—Gallows Rock.

“You have returned and not too soon. Yours was not an easy transformation, but transform you did and how. The choice you made seems to agree with you. Half of Whiterun won’t be leaving their homes anytime soon. Here, take your armor and weapons, be quick our prey, the Silver Hand, has gotten wind of us as they seem restless.”

  
I donned my armor and checked my weapons. My coin purse still heavy thankfully. I scooted around to where Aela was crouching and saw the fortress clearer.  
Two bandits walked the top parapet and one strode by the main gate. I removed my bow from my back and leveled it towards the first bandit. I readied an arrow.

  
“Skjor has gone ahead to scout, hurry; these Silver Hands have much to pay for.” Aela leapt from her position readying bow and arrow. She took down the two Silver Hand walking the parapet while I took the one by the gate. We stormed the fortress and found our way inside, but were stopped by bars barring our way.

“They must have been alerted by Skjor, damn!”

Heads of werewolves stood gored on spears on either side of the bars. I shuddered, thinking of Farkas and hoping that this would not be his fate, nor mine.

Aela found the lever to open the bars and they slid down into the floor with a scraping sound.  
Down a flight of stairs we went quietly, coming upon two Silver Hands sitting by a fire. They were dead within seconds.

In a small room, off the main room hung a werewolf, its body still warm to the touch. Aela shook her head, it wasn’t Skjor.

We found a door and followed a passageway, damp and with puddles of water pooling on the floor, mushrooms sprouting up here and there, that lead us to a set of stairs. A skeever launched itself at us, snarling and spitting but fell silent to the blade in my hand. Up the stairs we crept and found four more bandits.

One fought viciously, managing to pin me to the wall but then she stood on a trap that sprung a huge gate with evil looking spikes sticking from it which missed me by inches but impaled her. She grimaced and slumped to the ground.  
The three men upon seeing their fallen comrade rushed us. I took the first, a large orc with an axe, down with an arrow to the throat.

Aela took a little Breton man with an arrow to the center of his head. The third, a dark elf, tried to run but he went down with a dagger in his back.  
I grabbed up an ale, from the nearest table and guzzled it down, wiping the foam from my lips.

We ran past empty and some not so empty cells that held a few werewolves in different states of life. Some lay on the bottom of the cells, eyes staring blankly while the one living stood shoulders and head down, awaiting his fate.  
I walked forward and Aela stopped me.

“There is no way to know what he will do if we release him. Best leave him.”

Aela sprang away down a set of stairs that led to a hallway.  
I glanced back at the caged werewolf and felt empathy for its plight. Aela returned to me and snapped her fingers; she motioned for me to follow her.

I obeyed and followed her to the next door where she paused listening. She held up three fingers. I readied my bow and stepped around an open door to fire at a bandit sitting at a table with her back to me. One of her comrades let an arrow fly from a balcony above where she had sat and a third rushed down the stairs. He tripped on the final step and went sprawling across the floor to land at Aela’s feet; she dropped down with dagger in hand and cut his throat from ear to ear.  
The Silver Hand on the balcony whooped in anger and came running down the stairs releasing a volley of arrows at Aela. He seemed to forget about me as I threw my dagger catching him in the head. He slumped to his knees and I removed my dagger.  
Aela looked at me and nodded her thanks. I nodded my head in return.

We took the stairs two at a time and up to the balcony. Through a door and down a hall and stopped before a door.

“I must caution you Sister, the man here is called Krev the Skinner. You need not ask why.”

I understood the severity of his name. I opened the door ready for whatever faced us.

A Silver Hand was on his knees before a tanning rack working on a hide. A woman was bent over a table looking at a map. A third man stood leaning against a wall whistling while he cleaned a sword. The fourth man was huge, dressed in heavy armor and wore a steel horned helmet. He carried a greatsword and when he saw us he strode towards us.

“Well, well, what do we have here? Looking for your dog no doubt. Too late, I was about to skin him.”

Aela screamed as she lunged forward catching Krev off guard. He thrust towards her and knocked her down. I let my arrow loose, but he was too fast. The man on his knees turned quickly and let arrow after arrow fly, one sinking into my shoulder. I gasped in pain, but managed to lift my sword and in an upper swipe, cutting his chin to forehead open.

The woman screamed and flew in a rage at me. She had an orc dagger and tried to slash my face.  
Aela loosed an arrow and caught her just under the eye.

The Silver Hand fell to the ground, her feet thrumming a beat then laying still. That left the one by the wall, a little thin Imperial. He smiled showing no teeth.  
  
“Come on dearie; let’s see how well you dance.”

His sword shone in the light as he twirled it around then stepped towards me. I turned to the side as he tried to cut my sword arm.

Aela was on the floor beside Skjor’s body grieving. Anger welled up inside of me and I moved quickly to cut the Imperial off as he made a move towards Aela.  
I thrust and slashed at him but he was quick, but I saw my chance. I turned quickly as he went for my sword arm again, and ducked away his blow, I spun again towards him then stepping back I threw my weight into him and caught him off guard, bringing my sword up into his stomach.  
He opened his mouth and blood flowed from him. He feel to knees then onto his side. I pulled my sword free and wiped it on his tunic then went to stand over Aela.

  
She cried for a few minutes then standing looked at me. “This is not over. Go. I will take care of any that remain. I will let you know when our next is.”

  
~~*~~

 

I returned to Jorrvaskr to be summoned by Vilkas. He was stand offish and barely looked at me when he told me to go deal with some bandits that had stolen a horse from the Whiterun stables. His eyes wandered over my face and he seemed very upset.

“I want this dealt with today. When you return there might be more jobs for you, see me or Aela. That is what being a part of the Companions means.”

“Have I offended you Vilkas in some way?”

He snarled at me. “I have a lot on my mind. Just do your job.” He turned and stomped away.

  
~~*~~

  
I found the bandits, loading a cart up with goods likely stolen from various farms that encircled Whiterun. They saw me and prepared to make battle, I made quick work of the two, who moved slowly, with my bow. The third with mage skills tried to fry me with fireballs.

I opened my mouth and directed a shout in her direction knocking her back against the rock wall behind her. I staggered a bit after that, feeling myself grow faint.

A fourth took the opportunity in my apparent condition to get off a lucky shot with an arrow hitting me in the thigh and then managed to get close enough to knock me with his shield.  
Going to one knee, I struggled for a moment and realized I could take advantage of my position and proceeded to stab him, in the foot, with the arrow I wrenched from my thigh then I stabbed him in the eye with my dagger for good measure.

I gathered up the stolen goods then hitched the horse to the cart and delivered it with the goods to the stables.

  
The owner, Skulvar Sable-hilt was beside himself with joy.  
He pressed a few coin into my hand and clapped the horse’s rump. ”I’ll make sure the stolen goods are returned to the proper owners, if you ever have need of a horse, you have the use of this one here you returned.”

I thanked him for his generous offer and I limped back into Whiterun.

~~*~~

  
Aela was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs to Jorrvaskr.

“Are you ready Sister? I have found a plan of the Silver Hands. Make ready, you are to bring the fight to them. You are to kill the leader of the Silver Hand. He can be found in Redoran’s Retreat northwest of here, right in Whiterun Hold. You will go alone and return upon killing him. I will await your return. Fight proudly Sister!”

  
~~*~~

Redoran’s Retreat turned out to be two caverns linked by a small tunnel. The doors opened open a shaft that led me right into a cavern where a bandit sat with his dog. The dog alerted the bandit to my presence and leapt at my throat. I knocked the dog to the floor stunning it and threw my dagger at the bandit catching him in the throat silencing him before he could alert anyone else to my presence.

I continued on, ahead through the small tunnel and up a rickety set of stairs to a landing, where a bandit, lay sleeping on a pallet on the ground. I silenced her then wiped my blade on her bedroll.  
Stealing down a ramp, I entered the second cavern and discovered the Silver Hand leader pouring over several maps. He spun around sword in hand, charging towards me. Bringing my shield around I stopped his blow and shoved with all of my strength knocking him back. He stumbled and lost his footing then regaining it he began to advance towards me.

“I’ll gut you like a fish!” He retorted.

“Give it your best!” I returned.

He charged again lowering his head in the process, his helmet slipping down over his eyes. Seeing my chance, I turned and as he went by me, I stuck my sword into his side, above his waist, where the armor had lifted. He screamed and howled in pain and fell to the floor. His eyes searching for me, he flailed with his sword. I thrust home the sword into his chest and watched as he drew his last breath. I stopped to ransack a chest and grab up the maps he had been pouring over and exited the caverns.

In the sunlight, I glanced at the blood, covering my armor and when I happened upon a stream, outside of Whiterun, running fast among the stones and small rocks, I stopped and cleaned myself as best as possible.  
I sat on the grass and watched as two elk wandered by, stopping to nibble on small bushes.  
Their eyes found mine and they turned tail in air and pranced away leaving me in silence to contemplate what I had found myself becoming deeper involved in.

 


	15. Right and Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, yes you did read this if you were following along, as I said in the previous corrected chapter, I had a technical glitch-shit happens apparently-but it has been corrected and the culprit has been severely dealt with. No soup for them!  
> "Thank you for your custom."  
>  sunny:)

I returned to Jorrvaskr exhausted.  
I shrugged out of armor and my rough-spun tunic and fell into my bed in my underclothes and slept soundly. People came and went, none dare woke me, that was until Vilkas shook me awake.

I grunted and opened one eye, silently thinking of ways to kill him.

“I came to see if you are alive or dead.” He sniffed the air. “There is a change about you, Sister.” He stepped back, arms folding over his chest as he bared his teeth at me. “You have taken the beast blood, why?”

I sat up, stretching and wondering why he was so upset. _He has the same blood coursing through his veins does he not? Was it exclusive and not meant for me?_ “It was offered to me. Is it not right to join the Circle?”

He lowered his head. “Kodlak will not like this, neither do I. You should have spoken about this to us before deciding. Skjor put this to you?”

I nodded, beginning to think maybe I was in serious trouble. “A few days ago, at the Underforge, it was him and Aela.”

Vilkas growled and stood. “You had better go talk to Kodlak.”

  
He turned and left the room and I sat puzzled.

  
~~*~~

  
I donned a simple tunic, soft pants and boots and slipped a small steel dagger in my boots. Tying my hair up, I grabbed a sweet role from the table, in the hallway and proceeded to Kodlaks’ quarters.

I found Kodlak there writing in a journal. He smiled as he saw me enter the room than his face changed.  
He grimaced, showing teeth and stood, coming to tower over me. “What have you done girl!?”

I trembled as I stood before him, sensing that I had done wrong. He motioned for me to sit then he lowered himself sullenly to his chair.

He sighed. “I know of what you have done and I know of the reason. They think because I am old that I do not know what goes on. They are young and foolish as I was once was young, hot with the blood that runs through their veins, giving into impulses that I could not control, maybe I did not want to control them, but now…” He trailed off, wiping at his eye.

Clearing his throat, Kodlak looked at me. I could see the strain on his face as he searched for the words to continue. “I thought it would pass you over; I would have preferred that to this. I have struggled long with this curse, have seen the benefits and more so now the gravity of the situations, which arise from it. Now that I am old, I want to go to Sovengarde when I die. I do not want to be a warrior, trapped with Hircine, forever chasing, forever hunting. Some want that and if that is their wish, fine, but I feel you were perhaps lead astray by their plea of what it would bring to you. And then possibly they gave you little choice, either way, I thought I could prevent you from this foul curse and at that I have failed. I am sorry, Phenarie.” He lowered his head and I thought he wept for me.

I stretched out one hand, hesitantly and placed it on his arm. “I made this choice, Kodlak. I thought it then the path that I must follow. Please do not be angry with me, tell me how I can change that which I have done. Tell me what it is that I can do to help you.”

His eyes lifted to mine, his mood changing. “There was a pact made between witch and a predecessor, thought to bring more power, strength to body and soul. The predecessor knew not of the true price for his gift.”

I looked on listening to the story. “Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked once more.

Kodlak studied me for a moment. “Perhaps there is, lass. You would require the witches head, rumored to be the seat of their power. If you could bring one or more to me, I could hopefully cure myself and others of this burden.”

I stood, my eyes searching his face. “It shall be done then.”

  
~~*~~

  
I opened my journal and began to read what I had written there.

  
_In my dream, I see the line of Harbingers start with Ysgramor. Each of them ascends to Sovngarde, until we come to Terrfyg, who first turned us to the ways of the beast. He tries to enter Sovngarde, but before he can even approach Tsun, he is set upon by a great wolf, who pulls him into the Hunting Grounds, where Hircine laughs with welcoming arms._  
  
_Terrfyg seems regretful, but also eager to join Hircine after a lifetime of service as a beast._  
  
_Then I see every next Harbinger turn away from Sovngarde and enter the Hunting Grounds of their own accord. Until it comes to me, and I see great Tsun on the misty horizon, beckoning me. It appears I have a choice. And then, at my side, a stranger I had not seen before. As I look into her eyes, we turn to see the same wolf who dragged away Terrfyg, and she and I draw weapons together._  
  
_I realize this is only a dream, but a strong enough dream to inspire a man like me to take to writing, so it must be of some import._  
  
_I've spoken of my thoughts to the Circle, withholding the part about the stranger lest Skjor worry I will no longer seek his counsel, and I was not surprised to see them torn by it. Skjor and Aela are strong in the ways of the beast, and even seemed to suggest that the Hunting Grounds would be their choice of afterlife, if it were truly a choice._  
  
_Vilkas seemed most troubled. The boy is as fierce as a sabre cat in battle, but his heart's fire burns too brightly at times. He felt deceived, and I don't blame him. Farkas didn't know what to think, but I believe he will come around with me and his brother eventually. He usually does._

 _I_ _don't know what to do about Skjor and Aela. I know they respect the Companions, and me, but they take to the blood more deeply than the rest of us._  
  
_Fortune smiles upon us. Yesterday, Vilkas was telling me how difficult it had been for him to give up his transformations. Until we can pursue a true cure, the twins and I have chosen not to give in to the beast-blood. For me, it's provided a clearer head, but Vilkas seems to be suffering a bit for it. Farkas seems completely untroubled. That boy continues to amaze with his fortitude._  
  
_While I was out walking I saw a young girl, lost in despair. It was the stranger from my dream, the one who would stand with me against the beast. I had to be doubly cautious to not reveal anything of our secrets to the newcomer while also not revealing the details of my dream to her or the others. I don't know how the politicians deal with these sorts of machinations daily._  
  
_In any case, I've sent Vilkas to test the newcomer. We'll see if Phenarie is truly the great warrior I dreamt of._  
  
_This newcomer, it seems, is made of decent stock. Phenarie has already impressed some of the Circle with her mettle. I still keep my own counsel on her place in my dream, for now. Let us see what kind of destiny she is carving._  
  
_In the meanwhile, I look for ways of cleansing my blood. The writings and legends on the subject are sparse and contradictory. I don't wish to engage any wizardry on this matter, but I fear they may be the only ones who best know how to navigate these worlds of knowledge._  
  
_It's apparent to me now that Terrfyg's choice to turn us was indeed a mistake. Magics and their ilk are not in keeping with the spirit of the Companions. We face our problems directly, without the needs of such trickery. I can only hope to guide us back to the true path of Ysgramor before the rot takes me._  
  
_Phenarie continues to impress. I don't know yet where she will stand on the question of the blood, but the question has not been presented yet. She does know that we carry the beast-blood, and appears curious about it. Soon enough, I can explain our troubles, and hopefully see what role she will play._  
  
_I'm amazed that Aela thinks she can keep a secret among this drunken rabble. Especially with the loss of Skjor (my heart aches), emotions are fraying, and the walls of discretion are the first to fall._  
  
_Apparently she and Phenarie are waging their own separate war against the Silver Hand, in retaliation for Skjor's death. Their hearts are noble, but the course of vengeance is running hot, and I fear the counterstroke that may come if they do not rein in their fury._  
  
_Phenarie shows valor, though, even in this more underhanded time. We have not had cause to speak much, and that is something I deeply regret. I have high hopes for her destiny, as I realized that her appearance in my dream may indeed mark Phenarie as the Harbinger to succeed me._  
  
_I have received few dreams over the course of my life, but when they come, I have learned to trust them. I have also learned to trust the instincts of my heart, which tells me that Phenarie can carry the Companions legacy as truly as any residing in Jorrvaskr, especially with the loss of Skjor. Aela is too solitary, Vilkas too fiery, and Farkas too kind-hearted. Only Phenarie stands as a true warrior who can keep a still mind amidst these burning hearts._  
  
_I will not speak to Phenarie of any of this, though. It is too much to burden another with. My hope is that Phenarie and I can keep counsel over the coming years, that I can impart the wisdom of the Harbingers. All things in time. Firstly, I will seek her assistance in the matter of the witches of Glenmoril. It would appear that our path to the cure is not without some poetic justice for the tricksters who first cursed us._  
  
I picked up the quill and wrote…

_I have failed Phenarie. By keeping the truth from her I may have placed her in harm’s way. She has taken the beast-blood. Aela and Skjor going against my wishes. I have sent her to find the witches at Glenmoril Cavern. I hope she is strong enough to take their heads. We will remain strong until she returns. Vilkas, Farkas and Phenarie and I will cure ourselves of this curse. I only hope Aela will join us, but I doubt it. She will long to join Skjor in the Hunting Fields._


	16. Of Suffering and Loss

I ran to my bed and quickly changed into my armor.  
I thought on what Kodlak had said to me. My mind returned to the moment I had seen Aela in her beast form. I should have said no, walked away, done anything other than what I had. I wish I had known what had been in Kodlaks heart. I felt ashamed at what I had done now. If there were a way to change what had been done, then I would do it, but I could not change what I had done and I had to live with that for the rest of my life, but one thing was for sure, I could try and make things right for Kodlak’s sake at least.

I grabbed up my bow, quiver and sword, the one taken from the dragur at Bleak Falls Barrow. I ran up to the main hall and past everyone.   
Vilkas stood in the shadow of the pillar by the front door watching me as I ran past him. I paid him no heed.

~~*~~

I found the witches of Glenmoril Coven northwest of Falkreath. I found them and what I hoped would be my salvation.

I entered the chamber, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the dim light; my ears listening for any sounds of the witches and their knowledge of me and my intent.  
Ahead I could hear someone talking and I approached stealthily, bow at ready.   
It was one of the witches.   
She stood by the fire, her back to me, feeding a skeever, unaware of my intrusion apparently.  
I crept along, silently, until the damn skeever caught wind of me; it launched itself towards me with a piercing scream, giving me away. My element of surprise stripped from me.  
I sliced through the air, with my bow, catching the foul creature between its eyes, it dropped to the ground still.

The witch turned to face me, her eyes glowing with hatred; she screeched and without a moment of hesitation she launched a fireball at me.   
I tried to dodge it, but it caught me in the chest and I went to my arse. She thought she had won the battle, as she advanced towards me, but it had only begun for me. I would not admit defeat, there was too much at stake.  
Reaching into my boot, I pulled the steel dagger hidden there into my hand and lunged forward knocking her to the ground.   
I clamored on top of her, striding her body with mine and slit her throat before she could release the fireball forming in her hand. Blood flowed warm over my hand as I stood pulling my sword from its sheath. I removed her head cleanly and deposited into the sack lying on the ground beside me.

I counted myself as one of the lucky, having survived such a close encounter with one of these twisted creatures; half crone and half bird; they were disgusting and vile. Their obvious desire for the power that they gained through transformation was a testament to their willingness to sacrifice anything to achieve it.

I looked around, listening for any indication of more creatures and saw two more approaching with caution to the obvious cries of their now deceased sister.

I took bow in hand and took the closest one down before she realized what was happening. The second one uttered something that sounded like a threat and I promptly relieved her of her head with my sword. Three heads so far and I still had mine, not bad, but I cautioned myself about becoming cocky.

I started to leave when I heard a scurrying sound behind me and realized that I was not alone.   
A small Frostbite spider scurried towards me and behind it a witch with fire dripping from her hand. She leveled her hand towards me and the fireball she released passed mere inches from my head. I could smell the singed hair on the side of my head.

I drew arrow from quiver and notched it to bow; pulling the string back and the arrow flew through the air to miss my intended target. Damn! She had moved at the last second and had avoided my aim.

I notched another arrow and pulled the bowstring back, searching for my now unseen target. The Frostbite spider had disappeared too and I shuddered at the thought of it perhaps looming above me in the dark on the ceiling.   
I glanced up, searching for it and spied it clambering away to a rocky outcrop that would surely afford it the chance to launch itself at me from a higher height.

I released the arrow and it went straight and true to its target planting itself in the Frostbite spider squashing it with a satisfactory squelch. For good measure I raised my foot and firmly squished it then I cleaned my boot off on   
a jutting rock.

In the dark I could hear the raspy breath of the witch as she drew closer. A sudden hiss announced her intent of frying me with a fireball as she rounded the same outcrop that I had just knocked the spider off of.   
She came towards me, cackling and cursing me.

I laughed at her then let the next two arrows I had notched loose and this time she did not dodge them. They sank into her chest at the same time she was about to release her fireball in my direction thus resulting in an explosion that centered on her. I waited until the fire subsided before I took the head of the witch.

Four heads. I wondered if there were more in the coven and was not sure how many heads were required by Kodlak.

The answer came in the form of a scream from above where I stood. She was the tallest of the witches and I presumed her to be the leader.   
She jumped down to stand in front of me her claws raised and she delivered a blow that racked across my front and sent me reeling back against the sharp outcrop of rocks behind me.   
My head made contact and for a brief moment I was too stunned to notice her advancement on me. It was not until she bent to peer into the face of the one that had dispatched her sisters, I guessed, that I was aware of her closeness. I lay desperately fighting off unconsciousness, hoping she would think me too injured to be a threat.

She turned a fireball in hand and hit me square on. I closed my eyes and rolled on the floor, extinguishing the flames before they could do severe damage.

She screamed in anger and thus began the fireballs that kept coming over and over, I was losing this battle.   
I thought of those waiting back at Jorrvaskr; Kodlak, Farkas and Vilkas. It was Vilkas’s face that I could see as I left Jorrvaskr and I remembered his words spoken to me when I left on my first mission.

_“One thing, make sure you come back alive.”_

That seemed to bring a fire to my belly and I found the strength to stand. I threw my head back and shouted blowing the witch back across the cavern. She smacked against the wall and lay dazed. I sprang forward, rushing towards as fast as I could and then I jumped into the air, bringing sword and fury forth and in one fell swipe relieving her of her head while her eyes still blinked at me. I stood gasping.   
I now had five heads and quite the story to tell, along with the burns to show for it.

I stumbled back to the entrance and paused to catch my breath before I rushed out into the last of the daylight now turning to night and took the path that led me back to home.

~~*~~

I entered the gates to Whiterun to see guards milling around. I paused only a second to throw a coin to Lucia, by the market, then bound up the stairs to the small courtyard in the center of Whiterun.

People were standing around at the path that led up to Jorrvaskr, whispering, pointing.  
I queried as to what was wrong and was met with blank stares and bowed heads.

As I moved through the crowd, that had gathered and drew closer, I could see Aela and Torvar standing over the downed bodies of two bandits; I realized that it was Silver Hand.   
I rushed through the doors and into Vilkas who stood with a look of fury on his face.

**“Where have you been in the time of need?”** He bellowed at me. **“Off playing hero while we could have used your help?”**

I struggled to answer him then my eyes saw the reason for his mood.

Kodlak lay on the ground, between Farkas and Njada, who were crouched beside his lifeless body.

A sob escaped past my lips and I rushed to his side, dropping to my knees.

Njada did not meet my eyes, but when I touched Farkas’s arm he raised his head and I saw his face wet with tears.

“No! No! Nnn…no!” I threw myself over Kodlak’s body and pulled him up into my arms. Tears ran in torrents down my face. “Ww…why?” I stammered.

I looked to Farkas and he shook his head.

Someone came to stand behind me. It was Vilkas. He pulled me up and away roughly from Kodlak and looked me in the face, his fingers digging deeply into my shoulders.  
  
 **“Where were you I asked?!”** He shook me. **“The Silver Hand killed Kodlak and stole the shards of Wuuthrad while you were out doing whatever it was! You weren’t here to defend him.”**

I shoved him away and ran.

Vilkas made to follow after me, but Farkas stood and grabbed his brothers’ arm.

“Leave her alone! She is in pain.”

**“And what do you think the rest of us are feeling? His death must be avenged!”** Vilkas snapped loudly in anger as he stormed out of Jorrvaskr.

~~*~~

  
I ran. I ran not caring where my feet took me.   
I was blinded by tears, by anger and by my guilt. This was my fault. If I had not taken the beast blood none of this would have ever happened.  
I wished I had never come to this place. I wished I had never met Kodlak that day and met any of those that now I was sure would blame me for his death. Perhaps then this would have not happened and Kodlak would still be alive.

I cursed Skjor and I cursed Aela, their faces rising before me in my mind inside the Underforge and I laid partial blame at their feet. In their quest for power, they had let go of the ideals of the Circle that Kodlak wanted to bring forth.

I could see that all now, as I ran and I could see Kodlak’s face, before me. The kind man that had helped me gain a home, the man that I could look to for counsel was gone.  
I could never undo what had occurred but I could never let myself become involved with any of them again.

I slowed my pace, out of breath and my mind screaming still in pain. I eventually stopped by the bridge leading to Riverwood, but I hesitated going there.

I thought of Ralof and wished he was here. I wondered how he was but then I was glad he was not near to witness my mistakes. He too would have been ashamed of me and no doubt, because of my lack of judgement, he might fall victim to my curse that I had brought upon me. I could not bear to lose him too.

I had nowhere to go to, no one now that I could turn to, that I dared turn to. I was as lost as I had been after my sister had died.  
For a brief moment, I wished that it had been me that had died that day instead of her.

_Why would the gods let me go on to only allow me to cost an innocent man his life? Did they find it amusing?_

I turned and walked down to the river that flowed beneath the bridge and plunked myself down.

A mud crab skittered along, stopping to pick food from the edge of the river. It spied me sitting at the edge of the bank and ambled towards me, its pincers waving in the air threateningly.

I looked at it for a moment then drew my dagger; I hesitated then instead kicked at it with my foot sending in flying into the river. Standing, I wiped the tears from my face.

_Enough wallowing in pity for yourself_ , I thought to myself. _I have to move on but dare not forget._

I left Whiterun and walked east following the winding road.   
I spied a pair of towers, to my left, spanning the White River, with a bridge between them.   
As I approached I took note of a bandit leaning against the door, cleaning her nails with the tip of her dagger. She might have been all of sixteen years of age, not much older than my sister had been.

“Halt!” She said raising her hand in the air. “This is a toll road see. You, uh have to pay to…use it. Say two hundred in gold coin.”

I looked at her, obviously she was grasping for words. She was too young and obvious very inexperienced at being a bandit.  
I wondered if she had been forced into this. _Does she realize what she is getting herself into?_

I sighed heavily. “Do I look like I have the gold?” I ushered, hoping that she would leave me alone.   
She eyeballed me then drew her sword. It wavered in her hand as her eyes grew larger.

“I, uh, I told you,” she began hesitantly “you, you have to pay the toll. I cannot let you past.”  Her last words dropped in volume to a whisper as she looked over her shoulder, as if she was expecting one of the bandits to appear and assist her.

I was not in the mood for this and I certainly did not want anyone’s blood spilled. I shook my head and drew mine. “Really?”

She thrust towards me, sliding on the loose stone underfoot. In the process of not trying not to fall with the momentum and weight of her sword, she managed to stab herself in the foot. Yelping and cursing she turned back around to me and jabbed wildly in the air with her sword.

“Hold still!” She demanded of me. Her face growing redder by the second.

I side-stepped her movements and knocked her to the ground. I sliced open her hide armor exposing her rough tunic and pointed my sword tip at her throat menacingly.

“It would be such a shame, to lose your head, over a few measly coins now, wouldn’t it? I suggest you run back home and don’t look back or they won’t find enough of you to fill a sack.” I growled at her hoping to scare her.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she scrambled to her feet, stopping to glance up at the tower before she turned to run and not before I landed a good swat across her backside with the flat of my sword. I hoped that that would be a reminder to her.

“That was very well done. Now as she said, hand over two hundred gold or you will lose that head of yours.”

I turned to face a short woman dressed in banded iron armor, with an iron horned helmet a top a head that included some very bad teeth in a lop-sided mouth and a scarred face. She carried a Nordic battleaxe.

“See this is my towers, so it is my road and so…”

“Aye I heard it already…I have to pay you to use the road. I heard that the first time. And as I told the young girl, I don’t think that is going to happen.” I smiled.

“Well, that is too bad for you. You will have to pay with your life and then when you are dead, I will pick you clean.”

I rushed the bandit, knocking her back into the tower and dancing away as she swung her battleaxe missing my head by inches. She growled and came on fighting furiously. I managed to duck as she swung the next blow and raise my sword. She never saw as I swung it. Blue sparks flew, from the cold blue icy metal, as it sank into her chest.

A bandit cried out as he leapt down the stairs and landed on the blade as I turned at the sound of his approach.   
He rolled down the steps and lay staring at the wall.

I rushed up the stairs and took the next bandit on the next level by surprise while he was fumbling with his quiver.   
He went down clutching his throat, a red rivulet running between his fingers.

Outside on the bridge that spanned the river, a bandit shot arrows in my direction and I returned fire catching him in the knee. He plunged off the bridge and into the water below, to float downstream then disappear over the edge of the waterfall.

The second tower held one bandit, who came rushing in, from a ledge just to the rear. He thrust his empty bow in my face hoping to buy some time to notch an arrow. Time never graced his presence for he fell down with arrow still in hand.

I stood, chest heaving, my eyes still burning and the anger inside my chest rose as I looked down at his body.  
I began to shake uncontrollably and found myself leaning heavily against the wall.

The sobs that racked my body scared me. It was not just the sobs, but the rage that lay inside of me.

I wondered, how many more, would fall to my blade before I faced what it was that had spurned me on.

I knew I could not return to Jorrvaskr.

To where next I was headed, I was not sure, but I doubted it could have been better than where I had left, if circumstances had only been different.


	17. Giants

I decided to head east, down the road away from the tower and came to the river again. I wandered along the bank, looking at the other side and found a shallow crossing place in the river.   
I waded across, picking my way amongst the stones, keeping an eye out for any mud crabs and proceeded up the hill and stopped at Cradlecrush Rock- home to two giants.

The two giants stood by their fire, clubs in hand, rubbing their chins, having a conversation. I could not understand what they were conversing about, but it seemed to be very troubling to them whatever it was. I strained forward, to see if I could perhaps see what they were so agitated about when they noticed me and shook their clubs in the air.

I leapt, from where I was crouched and scooted past them, coming upon a pond against a small rock formation, with a dais in front.   
On the dais stood a statue of Talos and beside his feet, stood a shrine and beside that a small chest.   
I swam through the pond, to the chest and searched coming up with seven gold coins and an amulet.   
The amulet shone in the light, and I recognized it.

It had a thin braided leather cord, holding a burnished silver medallion in the shape of a reversed tear drop, upon which was the engraving a bird in flight. The amulet belonged to Kynareth; goddess of the heavens, the winds, the elements and the unseen spirits of the air.   
I placed the amulet around my neck and moved on.   
I kept moving ahead and noticed a fortress that looked familiar, Gallows Rock, where Aela and I, after I had taken the beast blood, had fought the Silver Hand and where Skjor had died.

I paused for a moment, the tendrils of anger wrapping around my heart once again. I shook my head, calming myself and I continued down a gentle slope and came to Mara’s Eye Pond.

In the center of the pond was a small island. I was curious when I saw the small boat, moored to shore and I waded then swam to the pond only stopping to kill two mud crabs who, in their curiosity, thought that perhaps I might be something interesting.

I discovered a small trap door, hidden by some bushes, in the ground and slowly opening it, I peered down into the darkened depths.   
I stole down the ladder and crept along, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the change in light.   
I could hear voices and the stench of decaying bodies filled the air.

I raised my shield and readied my sword, from Bleak Falls Barrow, that I now called Iyce.

Two vampire fledglings were arguing over the neck of a semi-conscious Nord. Their argument was becoming quite heated as they both thought they were each more deserving than the other. The Nord groaned, but did not stir from his induced state of hypnosis.

I cleared my throat and the fledglings turned, eyes glowing red.   
They dropped the Nord and sprang at me, hissing and trying to subdue me with Vampiric Drain.

I swatted the closest one, a female, with my sword sending her flying back when Iyce touched her. She howled at me then rushed forward, hand raised again with Vampiric Drain and in her other hand, she held an orcish dagger.  
Lunging forward, she managed to snag my armor, but nothing more, as when she struck, I stuck my blade into her belly and twisted.   
She fell down at my feet and I quickly removed her head.  
The second one tried to get behind me but he too stared up at me in surprise when his head rolled after I turned and caught him off guard.  
The Nord died soon after of his wounds and I removed his head.

I found a clean bedroll and some firewood and I decided to make camp, outside, on the island.   
I felt it would be relatively safe enough for the night.   
After setting up the bedroll and getting a fire going, I caught a rabbit and grilled it over the flame of the fire.  
I sat for some time, listening to the sounds of the night and when I was secure that I would not be disturbed, I closed my eyes and drifted off into a fitful sleep.   
I dreamed of giant wings and the sound of dragons.

~~*~~

Morning came and I rolled the bedroll up and after securing it to my knapsack, I continued on my way.  
I wandered through the trees, until I came to a slope down to a road. On the other side of the road was a river.   
I waded through the river in its shallowest part to the other side.

On the other side of the river on the bank was a small ramshackle shack, I approached cautiously when I heard growling.

_I know what that sound is...I hope I am wrong._

I readied my shield and sword and stepped back dislodging a few loose stones. I cursed inwardly at my mistake as a sabre cat appeared at the door of the shack with the remains of a human leg in its mouth.

No I was not wrong.

The sabre cat dropped the leg and hissed at me, exposing its large bloodied teeth, flecked with human remains and the stench of rotten meat rolled my way.  
Muscles rippling with raw power, the cat walked slowly towards me, its eyes narrowing, as it continued forward hissing and growling, making ready to launch at me.

I screamed and rushed it first, forcing it back.

Large razor sharp claws slashed and ripped at my shield, producing a screeching sound as they made contact on the metal, but the shield held strong.

I was not sure who was screaming louder, the sabre cat or me at that point.

Pushing with my shield, I continued to force the animal back into a corner between the shack and the rock wall behind it.

I waited until I saw my chance and I lashed out at the cat with Iyce. I managed to strike one of its front paws as it slashed at me. It howled in pain and fear and leapt over me, thudding to the ground behind me.   
Spinning around I raised my shield and struck out at the beast with my sword, and I shouted at it.   
It took a look at me, raising the injured paw and licking its wound; it turned tail and then ran through the river and up the embankment on the other side disappearing from view.   
I breathed a sigh of relief for the temporary reprieve.

~~*~~

The one-room shack held a bed, a shelf with an assortment of books, food and herbs.  
By a small fire pit, sat a small table and over-turned chair.   
The remains, what little there was, was of whom, I presumed to be the owner, lay scattered on the floor. I shuddered and hoped for their sake it had been a quick death.  
I had obviously interrupted the sabre cat’s meal. I was sure, once I moved off, he would no doubt return, hoping to finish it in peace this time.

I exited the shack and continued up the embankment behind it and I was greeted with the smell of sulfur.

_Hot springs._

I continued until I came upon the springs and I stood for a moment, viewing them; an idea already forming in my mind and observed a group of hunters bathing in a nearby pool.   
They raised a hand in greeting and I returned the gesture.   
I wandered through the hot springs until I found a small relatively shallow area that I could sit and bathe in.   
Removing my armor, but keeping my dagger close, I sauntered into the pool and sat in the water, up to my neck, leaning back on a rock basking in the sun and enjoying the heat emanating from the water.

A while later, when I was dressing in my armor, one of the hunters came to talk to me. She warned me of the giant and his two mammoths on the other side of the springs, also of the great dragon on the hill. I looked at her.

“Dragon?”

_Oh gods no, not another damn dragon._

She nodded, looking a little bewildered, that I did not know of its existence and explained that it hunted on the other side of the springs, but did not seem to bother with this side.

I thanked her for her information and offered her a coin.

She shook her head and turned to leave. “Dragons have risen everywhere; we have seen them during our travels. Something has awoken them, perhaps this might interest you.”

I was sure it did not interest me, especially after seeing the black dragon at Helgen and then fighting the one outside of Whiterun. _Why would the dragons be rising? Did it have something to do with me? Why would she assume that I would be interested? Was there something about me obvious to others and not myself?_  
I gathered up my knapsack, bow and quiver and picked my way through the springs to see the giant and his mammoth.

I had never seen a mammoth, only heard tales of them. _Now that is something that interests me._

There, standing next to a tree, scratching its trunk, stood a mammoth. Shaggy fur and huge tusks, short tailed and long trunk, an enormous creature. I spied the second one walking slowly beside the giant, ambling alongside like a pet. I smiled and snuck along so as not to disturb them.

  
I discovered the road on the other side of the hot springs and followed it, noticing that Jazbay Grapes grew at the edge of the road, in clumps here and there along with Dragon’s Tongue and Creep Cluster.   
I bent to pick the Jazbay Grapes when a shadowed loomed over me. I found my hand going to the pommel of my sword. I looked up and around and saw nothing.

The shadow disappeared and returned, this time much larger, I craned my neck up and looked into the face of the dragon as it swooped down low.  
It landed behind me, on the road, looking me over for a moment, its giant head swiveling to and fro as it studied me and in that moment, I thought I heard it speak, to me.

It raised its head, pulling it back and snorted smoke in my direction and then it opened its massive jaws, releasing a blast of flame, encircling my body in fire as I pulled my shield up to protect myself.

I ran for cover behind a nearby boulder, as another torrent of flame was directed towards me.

_No, no, no; this cannot be happening! What is with me? Am I a magnet for dragons!? I am not about to find out. I have to do something and fast before I am cooked to death._

Stepping out from behind the rock, I notched an arrow to bow and let it fly.

It struck the dragon upon its wing and resulted in more fire enveloping me.

_Well so much for that idea._

I ran, dodging blasts of fire, back past the mammoths who trumpeted as the dragon now roared overhead. The giant waved his club in the air, threatening the dragon if it came near his mammoths.

The dragon ignored them but instead followed my every move. It flew in circles, sending wave after wave of flame down in my direction.

I ran, willy nilly, among the rocks, looking for escape until I came to a steep path which led to a crest, with bones of mammoths and man strewn around and looked up and onto a curved black wall etched with runes.

_Oh gods no! Not one of those too! This was turning out to be not my day._

The dragon crashed behind me, sending up great plumes of dirt and dust into the air, trumpeting the whole while in its triumph, thinking that it had me at my defeat.   
It released another torrent of fire in my direction as it advanced towards me. Then it stopped, lowering its massive head, so I could almost look directly into its eye.

I could see my reflection looking back at me, and for a second I stood, rooted to the spot.

The dragon snorted and raised its head and began a barrage of flame in my direction again.

I did not know how much more I could take, my shield was blistering and the handle to which I held was becoming almost unbearably too hot to cling to.

Raising shield and sword and uttering a prayer, to whatever divine might lend me some assistance, I waited for the fire to dissipate before I attacked it at close range; hoping it would not breathe fire again. Swinging sword with all the intense ferocity I could muster, I did the only other thing I could think might save me; I threw my head back and shouted at it.

Dust, small stones and debris flew into the air around us and when it settled, the dragon, lay dead at my feet.

I stepped closer, to the still beast and stared into the eye that now began to dim and did not reflect my form back.   
My eyes took in the sheer size of the dragon, its magnificence, with its grand scales, its massive jaws and wings and I found myself for a moment pitying the giant creature that I had ended.

That was when I felt the shift; I felt the air begin to change around me, pressing down onto me, almost suffocating me. I tried to draw in the next breath but the wind sucked my breath away and then, the blast hit me.   
Power surged through my body and filled every muscle and inch of me. It crackled around me, almost as if I were being hit with lightning. I heard dragon’s voices in my head yet, I still could not understand what they said.

I threw my head back again and shouted to the air as the wall behind me released its energy into me. A swirling light encompassed my body and I heard the familiar sounds from the wall that I had touched at Bleak Falls Barrow, in my head again, but this time as I turned to face the wall I noticed a word appear upon it, written in an old tongue-the tongue of dragons.   
The sounds and sights abated and I gasped for air.  
I stood after, confused and thrilled and shaking with exhilaration.

~~*~~

After I had composed myself, I strode down the crest and walked towards a mound, encircled with stones and a column.   
I studied it for a moment and realized it was a dragon mound, not yet open. _Beneath the dirt could a dragon lay listening? Did it hear me? Did it sense the passing of the dragon I had ended?_

I cautiously stepped away and continued through the hot springs until I heard a river rushing in the distance. I headed in its direction.  
Spying a bridge, I found a sign post pointing the way to Dark Water Crossing. I had been close to there when the Imperials had caught me with Ralof and the Stormcloaks. I did not plan to return to there.

Crossing the bridge I ran on and came to another bridge that led me past Fort Amol.   
Bandits stood on the parapets, watching me pass by, but made no threat to attack me. I kept my eyes on them as I continued on.

I plodded on up the road, avoiding detection by a brown bear nosing in the bushes after a fallen bees nest. Bees angrily swarmed around its head, but that did not stop its attempt at ravaging the nest to find the sweet nectar contained within.

I came to a third bridge and began to cross it and half way over I ran into a Bard named, Talsgar the Wanderer.   
He exchanged pleasantries with me than continued on his way after I warned him of the bear ahead.   
He laughed and said he was not afraid of the bears, that there were worse creatures to be afraid of.

I eventually rounded up the hill, recognizing the area, as I drew nearer to Valtheim Towers, now standing silent, void of the bandits that had threatened me.  
I was sure given a few days the tower would be inhabited by some new bandits.

I hoped the young girl; I had met outside of it, had managed to find her way home and had not fallen in with any other bandits.

I made camp just inside the first tower for the night. I found some food in one of the barrels and a few bottles of mead.  
I used the cooking pot that stood outside the main tower and once it was cooked, I ate in silence, pondering the dragon, the giant and the mammoths and the hot springs.  
This land was full of varied foe and I wondered what else I would run into.

I lay in the tower that night, watching the stars overhead, listening to the river as it rushed by far below.   
I fell asleep again, dreaming of dragons.

~~*~~

I awoke to the sounds of an elk calling its mate and discovered two of them down by the edge of the White River. They lifted their heads as I left the shadow of the tower behind me.

I wandered up the road until I could see a small hill to my right surrounded by stone arches.   
Curious as to what it was, I wandered up the sloping path, to be greeted by a necromancer, with two skeletons.   
I dispatched the skeletons easily and fought the necromancer, who managed to get a few zaps of lightning past me.   
My wounds were not serious, but I did lose some hair in the process.

A Standing Stone stood in the center of the arches; The Ritual Stone-the ability to reanimate a nearby corpse to fight for you. I shuddered; the dead should stay dead as far as I was concerned.

Looking around from the top of the hill, I could see Whiterun in the distance and the walls that surrounded it.   
My heart sank at its sight, and I felt now my own guilt for leaving.   
I had to return and face those that I had left behind. It would be the right thing to do. I also had to say a final farewell to Kodlak.

Packing up my guilt and plucking up my courage, I ran down the hill and back onto the road, and headed for the gates of Whiterun. Hopefully I would be accepted once I reached Jorrvaskr.


	18. Encouragement

A steady stream of heavy, wet snow fell from the gray sky onto the already densely covered ground. The bitter wind blew across the drifts making it difficult for anyone to see too far.

In a Stormcloak camp, that was currently in the midst of setting up, a young soldier sat huddled close to the fire at his feet with a map laying on his lap.

Ralof pulled his bear cloak tighter around his body and rubbed his frozen hands together. He brought them up to his mouth and blew into them, hoping to warm them.   
He tossed another log onto the fire at his feet and returned his attention to the task at hand.

Large plumes of frosted breath hung in the air, around his head, as he studied the map in front of him.  
He snorted as a clump of snow landed on the map and he wiped it away with a grimace, as the scowl on his face, intensified.

_Damn this weather, it has to let up sometime,_ he hoped inwardly. He knew it wasn’t about to; it was after all Skyrim, was it not?

He, along with several new recruits, had been sent out into the surrounding area to _“test their mettle”_ so to speak.

Ralof looked up and watched as one of the _“so called new recruits”_ repeatedly failed at setting his tent up.

Ralof sighed, shaking his head. _If he cannot even do that, how will he react when faced with an Imperial’s blade?_ He wondered.

He swung his head around, surveying the rest of the recruits as they went about their business.   
Another recruit was having difficulty strapping his bow to his back. One was trying to adjust her armor that seemed to be at least two sizes too big for her.

Everywhere Ralof looked he could see the struggle of soldiers who were terrified and sorely lacked the experience required to mount the coming attack on the Imperials.

Ralof’s shoulders slumped. It was a somber revelation and display of the great war machine at its finest apparently. He knew that the slightest difference in a soldier’s confidence could tip the scales in their direction.  
But at the moment, these were not soldiers that he sat watching struggle. These were young men and women, fathers and mothers, daughters and sons, sisters and brothers who believed that Skyrim was their home and it was worth sacrificing their very lives for. That the Thalmor were the great evil behind the Legion and they soon, maybe sooner than anyone thought, would come rolling through Skyrim and leave behind a sea of blood that would drown everyone.

Ralof looked at the sea of blue around him and he recalled his own beginnings. A young lad from RIverwood who had grand ideas of becoming a great warrior. A young man with nothing to lose and everything to prove. A young man that too had stumbled until someone had offered the right words when required.   
Perhaps a few words of encouragement might just reassure the soldiers.  
Ralof rose to his feet and adjusted his armor and stepped up onto the stump he had been sitting on.

“Sons and daughters of Skyrim! I need a moment.” He began. “I know that you are struggling. I was once where you were.” Ralof smiled for a moment as the recruits stopped what they were doing to turn and listen to their leader. “But I also know it did not take me long to lose my greenness, as I know you will too.”

A few nervous chuckles broke out among the recruits.  
Ralof continued. ”Look at the man or woman beside you; they will be your strength. They will be your foundation. In each of you there is a soldier, waiting for his or her moment to come forth. That time is now.”

Ralof stepped down from the stump and returned to quietly sitting and studying the map.

Around him there was an apparent change in the air. The recruits stood for a moment, eyeing each other and looking towards their leader. A few clapped one another on the back and some clasped outstretched hands in firm handshakes.  
Tents began to be set up smoother, armor was adjusted easier and there was enthusiasm and confidence abound where before, there had been doubt and uncertainty.

Even the weather seemed to have listen to his words and wanted to cooperate, for the heavy wet snow had ceased and the gray sky overhead broke, allowing golden rays of sunshine to shine down upon the camp.

Ralof smiled for the first time and thought that maybe, just maybe things might start going in the right direction.

 


	19. Revenge

I shouldered the door of Jorrvaskr open slowly; looking around the main hall I saw that no one seemed to be present. I let out a sigh of relief; I was not ready for a head-on confrontation with anyone, especially Vilkas of all people.  
Insecurity and fear began to take root in me and I had second thoughts about being here, so I turned around to leave when I heard my name.

“Phenarie.”

_Shit!_

Vilkas stepped from behind the pillar and looked at me. He stood staring at me, his face frozen in a grimace then the grimace left his face.

“I see you have returned and just in time. I was not sure if you would. We will go, you and I, to seek revenge for the death of Kodlak and to retrieve the shards of Wuuthrad. We will bring honor to his name, but we will also bring death to those who murdered him. None shall escape our blades. Prepare yourself for we go to Driftshade Refuge.”

He turned and walked away without any further words or even a backwards glance in my direction.

_Great, right into the sabre cat’s den; of all people to run in it had to be him._

I was not sure if I had passed his test or not and wondered if the test was still to come.

I grabbed some food and an ale from the table as I passed by then moved to the downstairs quarters and lay down to rest for a while.

Vilkas came an hour or so later, shaking me awake and said it was time to go.

~~*~~

  
We traveled north, past Loreius Farm, with its windmill turning lazily in the light breeze and past Blizzard Rest; a giant camp with two mammoths and I thought of the mammoths I had seen by the hot springs.  
We ran on, until we came to the crossroads and veered east towards Nightgate Inn.  
We turned north, through Wayward Pass, between two tall, snow laden mountains, then continued running.

I shouted to Vilkas that I must stop for a moment and he patiently waited for me while I disappeared into the bush to tend to personal needs.

We ran again, north and then turned west to where Driftshade Refuge lay just ahead.

We crept along and hid behind a boulder, just in front of Driftshade Refuge.  
I leaned against the boulder, straining to catch my breath. It seemed that Vilkas had not even broken a sweat nor was he out of breath.

I peered around the boulder to gauge our adversaries. One Silver Hand guard stood at the door and there was an archer on the roof.

 _Two, not too bad odds,_ I thought.

I turned to say which of the guards I would take and found Vilkas gone. _So much for team work then._ I sighed heavily then stood releasing an arrow into the neck of the guard at the door.  
The archer on the roof screamed and toppled off dead.  
Vilkas stood behind him, his blade dripping red,  then disappeared for a moment until he strode around the corner of the building. He growled at me to be ready for trouble as he opened the door.

~~*~~

Opening the door quietly, it took a moment for my eyesight to adjust to the darkness; a noise to my left made me aware that we were not alone.  
He rushed us from the darkness, the Silver Hand, swinging his axe viciously and catching my helmet and sending it flying.

Vilkas pushed me aside roughly, his sword flying through the air and into the head of the Silver Hand.

“Best be on guard, these men are more vicious that most you have encountered.”

I looked over at Vilkas. _And what viciousness had I not dealt with recently?_ I nodded instead of arguing.

We took the stairs down, following tunnels and found two Silver Hands arguing about mead versus ale and which was better. We settled their argument for them.

At the end of the room we were in there was a door, but it was barred from the other side. I turned and noticed a doorway and called to Vilkas. We entered a room with a table and several bookcases with books strewn on the floor. We continued on running into a Silver Hand as he was adjusting his armor.

“What’s this? Two vermin that need to be dealt…”

He fell to the floor, his neck snapped. Vilkas stepped over his body.

We turned to our left, moving down through a tunnel and opened a door and ran into two Silver Hands, a woman and a man.  
I didn’t get a chance to fight them as Vilkas jumped in front of me snarling and growling, hacking and slashing.

I gave him a sideways glance and kept my mouth shut in case I suffered his wrath.

We stood atop a balcony that looked down into a large room, it was empty.  
I ran down the stairs and went to the door at my left finding it locked. I picked the lock and opened it slowly to find a Silver Hand sleeping in the bed nearest me.

He never woke up again.

Vilkas wiped his blade on the bed coverings and glared at me. "We will kill them all. Leave none alive."

I turned and left the room with him following close behind. I could hear his heavy breathing then he took in a sharp breath as he stood closer.

“What?” I inquired as I turned to face him.

“Nothing! Keep moving.” He rushed ahead of me.

I heard a voice from ahead of us.

“Is someone there?”

“Yeah, me!” Vilkas sank his sword in her chest then pushed her back onto the floor.

We had entered into a large room with tables on other side of the room. At the one end the way was barred with iron spears. I saw the lever on the wall and rushed forward as a Silver Hand slithered from the corner. He was an Argonian and threw his dagger catching me in the thigh; I went to one knee and released an arrow into his neck.

He moved quickly and the arrow had only grazed his neck, as he started to release a tirade of sparks at us.  
Vilkas advanced, taking each jolt of sparks as if they were nothing until he stood toe to toe with the Argonian.  
He begged for mercy but found none.

Vilkas cleaved his head then turned to me. “Are you going to survive, whelp?”

I gritted my teeth and stood pulling the dagger from my thigh and gave him a look of disdain.

“I have had worse.” I uttered.

I took a moment to bind my wound then watched as Vilkas made sure the Silver Hand were not lurking nearby. I pitied any he found.

~~*~~

Once secure in our position, I reached for the lever and watched the spears descend into the floor.  
I motioned for Vilkas to go ahead. He barred his teeth at me.

We wandered through a tunnel that was a maze of twists and turns and barrels blocked our way in sections.  
I noticed a pressure plate on the floor just ahead and motioned to Vilkas, he was about to skirt by it when the Silver Hand appeared from around the corner.

He was of massive size with an equally proportionate weapon and for a moment I was sure that Vilkas had met his match.

“Time to end this.” He smiled, showing his rotting teeth. "You will make a nice rug in front of my fire. Come here dog and let me skin you and then your bitch."

“I have no patience for you.” Vilkas threw his sword with accuracy as it embedded into the chest of the man.

I raised one eyebrow.

We ran through the next room which housed a boiler and two Hands. I slew one with my arrow and Vilkas took the other.

We encountered a Hand in the icy tunnel to our left, a second stood on a ledge in front of us bow in hand and a third stood on the stairs.

”Look it’s one of those dogs, I wonder if I can use his pelt for a throw in front of the fire.”

Vilkas growled and I thought he would change into a werewolf but he was showing great restraint.  
He snapped and snarled and lunged forward taking no prisoners.

Up the stairs to the ledge I found two iron cages. In the nearest was a werewolf, foam dripping from his mouth, his eyes rolling white.

Vilkas grabbed my bow from my back and an arrow from the quiver and put the werewolf down. In the other cage was a dead bloated horse.

We went down the ramp before us and up a set of stairs and opened the door before us.  
The door opened onto a room and after that a balcony where four Hand sat. They stood slowly and made their way down to us.

“Come on dog!” They taunted.

Vilkas jumped forward and swung his sword taking the Hand under the arm. He turned quickly and brought his sword down taking the arm. I took two with bow and arrow then readied to take the third.

“No! He’s mine!” Vilkas strode forward. “This is the one that managed to get away, the one that killed Kodlak. He is mine!”

I stepped back and leaned against the wall ready to jump in if needed, which I doubted I would be.

Vilkas took his time almost relishing what he was doing. When he was finished he stood shaking covered from head to toe in blood and gore, looking at what he had done.

I was slightly taken aback at the viciousness in which he had dispatched the Silver Hand and began to grow nervous of being in his presence.

“That’s it. That’s them all. Kodlak has been avenged. We will return to Jorrvaskr.”  
He turned and walked away solemnly.

 


	20. For Honor

We returned to Jorrvaskr.  
Vilkas was quiet and seemed deep in thought. I cleaned up quickly then mounted the steps to Skyforge. I stood at the side away from everyone quietly. Several citizens from Whiterun were present, including the Jarl. Kodlak's body lay on the pyre above the forge.

Eorlund stepped forward. “Who will start?”

Aela moved towards the forge. “Before the ancient flame, we grieve.”

Eorlund continued. “At this loss.”

“We weep for the fallen.” Vilkas said.

“We shout and for ourselves. We take our leave.” Farkas finished.

Aela motioned with her hands. “His spirit is departed. Members of the Circle, let us withdraw to the Underforge to grieve our last together.”

The members of the Circle moved down the stairs to the Underforge as the citizens that had come to pay their respects to Kodlak Whiteman left, speaking softly among themselves about the man and his kind deeds and words.

Eorlund came towards me. “Do you have the fragments of Wuuthrad still? I’ll need them to prepare them for mounting again.”

“I return them with honor.”

“Don’t get too flowery on me lass, but there is one more thing. Kodlak had a fragment he kept close to himself. Would you mind retrieving it for me; I don’t think I am the best one to go through his things.”

I nodded and turned to get them. As I ran down the stairs, I ran into Aela. I approached her to say what I thought of the ceremony and she snapped at me. “Not now!”

Vilkas stood nearby. “Leave me, I want to stew alone.”

_Here we go again. I did not have to return and help with Silver Hand and the culling of the herd so to speak. You really know how to make one feel as if they are part of the Circle or even the Companions. I wonder if that is why there are empty damn beds._

I turned away, biting back the words I wanted to say to both of them. Instead, I moved to Jorrvaskr and silently slipped inside and down the stairs to the lower level.

~~*~~

I stood before the door to Kodlak's private quarters, not really sure if I were the right person to go through his things. After all, if I had not taken the beast blood I would not have been sent to get the witches heads that fateful day. _There I go again, blaming myself. I really have to stop that._  
Pushing the door open slowly, I entered and looked around the room left just the way it was when the man, who I had become to think on a father figure, had rose that day.  
I went to his side table and found the fragment of Wuuthrad and a journal that I did not read.  
Shutting the door behind me, I ran back to Eorlund.

I approached him hesitantly. “I have Kodlaks’ fragment.”

“Thank you. Your Shield Siblings have withdrawn to the Underforge. I think they are waiting for you.”

_I seriously doubt that right now. I am probably the last person they want to see._

I nodded and walked slowly down the stairs to stand before the door to the Underforge.   
I sighed. _Well, into the werewolf’s den I go._

_~~*~~_

Opening the door, I slipped in quietly and I paused in the shadows to listen to the intense conversation already underway.

Vilkas stood away from Aela and Farkas, his back to them as he spoke. His voice was edged with anger and grief. “The old man had one wish before he died and he didn’t get it. It’s as simple as that.”

“Being moon-born is not so much of a curse as you might think Vilkas.” Aela stated.

“That’s fine for you, but he wanted to be clean! He wanted to meet Ysgramor and know the glories of Sovengarde, but all that was taken from him.” Vilkas snapped as he strode in her direction.

“And you avenged him.” Aela spoke standing tall and defiant.

The two stood toe to toe and I hoped that they would come to blows. I was none too happy with either one of them at the moment.

Vilkas growled as Aela sneered.

Farkas stepped forward between them. _Damn it! Just when it started to look interesting._ “Kodlak did not care for vengeance.”

Vilkas looked at his brother and nodded. He stepped back a few paces.

“No, Farkas, he did not. And that is what is not what this is about. We should be honoring Kodlak, no matter what our own   thoughts on the blood.” He glared past Farkas at Aela.

“You’re right. It’s what he wanted and he deserved to have it.” Aela shifted uneasily on her feet.

_Did she say that because the beast blood brought about his demise? If she had not sought vengeance Kodlak would have still been alive. Or was she just going through the motions of saying those words so to appease Vilkas and Farkas?_

“Kodlak used to speak of a way to cleanse his soul, even in death. You know the legends of Ysgramors’ Tomb,” Vilkas turned to Aela, “the souls of the Harbingers will heed the call of northern steel.”

“Vilkas, we can’t even enter the tomb without Wuuthrad and it’s in pieces, like it’s been for a thousand years.” She sounded rather pleased.

At that moment, Eorlund entered the Underforge and looked over at me standing in the shadows. He nodded to me then stepped towards the three.  
“And dragons were just stories. And the elves once ruled Skyrim. Just because something is doesn’t mean it must be, Aela. The blade is a weapon. A tool. Tools are meant to be broken and repaired.”

Vilkas looked at Eorlund, disbelief showing on his face. “Is that? Did you…repair the blade?”

Eorlund held out Wuuthrad, its edge caught the light of the brazier and a thousand lights seemed to appear in the Underforge. “This is the first time I have had all the pieces, thanks to our Shield Sister here.” He motioned for me to step out from the shadows and I did guiltily. “The flames of a hero can reforge the shattered. The flames of Kodlak shall fuel the rebirth of Wuuthrad. Now it will take you to meet him once more.” He held Wuuthrad out to me. “As the one that bore the fragments, I think you should be the one to carry Wuuthrad into battle.”

I looked at Eorlund Gray-Mane holding the axe out to me. I did not deserve to carry such a weapon steeped in history. I backed away and began to shake my head.

“No, Vilkas should, he is more worthy than I.” I told Eorlund and he broke into a smile.

Aela snorted.

“No, he is right. You should carry it. Kodlak would want you to.” Vilkas brushed past me then stopped. “You will carry it with honor and for Kodlak.” He stared into my eyes, his face softening for just a second.

“For Kodlak!” Aela and Farkas shouted and they ran out of the Underforge.

“We go to Ysgramors’ Tomb, bring what you need, we run now.” Vilkas stated as I stood in total disbelief at his words.

~~*~~

I ran to grab the sack, with the witches’ heads, with Vilkas following close behind me. We then ran to the main gates of Whiterun and onto the cleansing of Kodlak.

We ran and ran, northeast past Winterhold.  
Snow blew across the frozen tundra and a chill that I could not shake began to creep into my very bones. My foot slipped and I came to my knees, the pain shooting through my body that was beginning, no doubt, to turn blue with the frigid temperature.  
I adjusted my armor, pulling the bear cloak closer around my body.  
Up ahead, I could see Aela and Farkas, the cold did not seem to bother them or even Vilkas for that matter.

He slowed his pace and turned to return to where I knelt. His hand reached out and he cocked his head as if waiting for my response.  
I took the offered hand and rose to my feet trying to avoid his eyes.  
Ever since Driftshade Refuge his eyes had been burning with anger and I felt it were directed towards me. I mumbled my thanks and returned to running.  
We came to water and Farkas pointed across to a frozen mountain.

“There. We go there to Ysgramors’ Tomb.” Vilkas pointed the direction.

I nodded and began to wade through the not too deep, icy cold water, wary of my every step.

The entrance to Ysgramors’ Tomb was down a set of circular steps in the barrow and through an iron door. A short flight of stairs led down to a room lit with two braziers and a statue of Ysgramor on top of a dais. There were doors behind the statue and to the left and right, all closed. Vilkas stepped forward and looked into my eyes, I waited.

“You will place Wuuthrad onto the statue of Ysgramor and you then shall enter and find Kodlak and release him of his burden. I will stay here, I am not worthy because of what happened at Driftshade Refuge. Be careful though, the souls of the Harbingers that have gone before lay in wait to judge you worthy. If you are true of heart then you shall prevail.”

I looked at Aela and Farkas who smiled at me.

We entered through the door opened to us when I returned Wuuthrad to its proper resting place. I descended through the tunnel and was greeted by two skeevers that I cleaved in half with my sword; Iyce.

We continued left and I heard something move. Two Companion ghosts appeared, and we fought those leaving their ashes on the floor. Down a bit further were double wooden doors leading to a room with a sarcophagus in the middle of the room and two more at the other end.  
Ghosts slowly emerged weapons ready for battle and Farkas and Aela made quick work of them dispatching back to whence they came.

A doorway to our left lead into a room with a sunken floor that lay shallow with water. Scattered around the room several crypts lay. As we entered the Companion ghosts revealed themselves and attacked.

I took the one closest to me while Aela took down the two in the middle with her arrows. Farkas ran to the end of the room and slew one, while I took the other down with my bow and arrow. We climbed the few stairs to a room at the end, Farkas held back. I looked at him as he studied the doorway in front of us.

”I can go no farther because of Dustman’s Cairn. Those eyes, I am sorry; I claim my shame. You must carry on; I will return and wait with Vilkas. Remember Shield-Sister, eyes on the prey, not the horizon.”

I turned and looked at Aela and motioned for her to proceed first. _I don't think I want you following me._

~~*~~

There were two Frostbite Spiders waiting. I shuddered understanding what it was that Farkas meant. I leveled my bow and released the notched arrow into the body of the closest spider. Aela took out one closest to her.

Through the next chamber we went and found two more Frostbite Spiders and a third coming down from the ceiling. I shot the one on its silken thread before it touched the ground while Aela dealt with the two on the ground then we discovered a locked gate and the pull chain that opened it. We followed the path down and were attacked by three Companion ghosts that Aela quickly killed with arrows.

To our left was a set of stairs that we followed down and at the bottom of the stairs a path that lead to a chamber where three more ghosts waited. I took the first with my sword then brought my bow to arm and took the other two. On a table, to my left, was a dragur, who I eyed suspiciously.

Through a door was a room with a low ceiling and at the far end was three crypts; no ghosts appeared. We found a gate and on a small pillar next to it a handle which I turned. The gate opened and we entered a large room with a mammoths’ skull sitting on a table in the middle of the room.

Four Companion ghosts appeared and we fought them. At the end of the room a set of stairs lead up to wooden doors closed to us. I shoulder the doors open and entered the room which had three openings on the far wall at the end. I motioned for Aela to be ready in case of more ghosts or worse.

We stepped into a large chamber and saw a ghost standing beside a brazier warming its’ hands. It looked in our direction and somehow the ghost felt familiar to me. I sheathed my weapon.

“Greeting Shield-Sister.” The ghost spoke.

“Is that you, Kodlak?” I asked hesitantly, stepping closer.

“Of course, my fellow Harbingers and myself have been warming ourselves here; trying to evade Hircine.”

“But there’s nobody else here.” Aela said looking around.

“You see only me because your heart only knows me as the Companions’ leader. I’d wager old Vignar could see a half-dozen of my predecessors. And I see them all. The ones in Sovengarde. The ones trapped with me in Hircines’ realm. And they all see you. You’ve brought honor to the name of the Companions. We won’t soon forget it.”

“Vilkas said you still can be cured.”

“Did he now? I can only hope. You still have the witches’ heads?”

I nodded holding the sack up.

“Excellent. Throw one of them into the fire. It will release their magic, for me at least.”

I turned pulling a head from the sack and threw it into the Flame of the Harbinger. Kodlak bent over as he wrestled with his wolf spirit and he tried to detach himself from it. The wolf spirit lunged for Aela and I quickly pulled bow to ear and shot it with an arrow then slashed it with my sword. It fought viciously, snarling and snapping, not wanting to leave its host. Finally it lay dead then dissipated like smoke into the air.

I moved over to Kodlak.

“Greetings, Shield-sister.”

“We have killed your beast spirit.”

“And so the slain beast inside of me; I thank you for this gift. The other Harbingers remain trapped by Hircine, though. Perhaps from Sovengarde the heroes of old can join me in their rescue. The Harrowing of the Hunting Grounds. It would be a battle of such triumph. But for today, return to Jorrvaskr. Triumph in your victory. And lead the Companions to further glory.”

“Wait, what did you say? You want me to lead the Companions?”

“Lead them, Phenarie.”

Kodlak slowly disappeared to Sovengarde and peace I hoped; a great sadness filled my heart. I would have to wait until Sovengarde to see him once more.

Aela turned to me, her eyes flashing. “Did I hear right? Did he say you were to lead the Companions?”

I straightened to my full height and nodded. “He did indeed. Do you have a problem with that?”

Aela stared at me. Emotions playing across her face as her inner thoughts gave her away. She realized that I saw that and she stepped back as she shook her head and cast her eyes downward. “You have...earned…the right. Your strength and honor are apparent to all, including myself.” Her voice trailed off for a moment. She lifted her held, holding her chin out. “It…it is my honor to be the first to address you as, Harbinger.”

I glanced at her seeing something pass across her face. _Her eyes do not lie. I will have to watch my back._

_~~*~~_

We returned to Farkas and Vilkas and Aela told them of the news of Kodlak and then turned to me.

“Let me introduce you…to our new Harbinger.”

Farkas looked puzzled. Vilkas stood with arms folded and stared at me for a few minutes.

“If it was the wish of Kodlak for _you_ to be Harbinger, then so be it. I would never dare to question his choice. And he has chosen well. You fight with honor and bring honor to the Companions. I am proud to call you not only Shield-Sister, but now Harbinger.”

_And how much did that hurt you to say to me? You thought it would be you that would be named Harbinger._

Farkas stepped forward and looked upon my face. He broke into a big grin and threw his arms around my waist lifting me from the floor in a giant bear hug.

“I am honored too to call you Harbinger, Shield-Sister. You will bring honor to us. I look forward to hunting with you.”

I smiled as he set me gently down. Vilkas didn’t look too happy with Farkas’s display of affection. Why should he care?

“We should return to Jorrvaskr and let the others celebrate our victory.”

Vilkas turned with Farkas to move out the doors and into the swirling snow.

Aela hung back. “I will return soon. I wish to hunt.”

It came out more blunt than I think she wanted and with eyes cast downward she ran past us and off into the snow.

“I think she is still feeling the grief of losing not only Kodlak, but Skjor as well.” I offered, knowing fully that that was not the real reason for her sudden words. I felt I would need to be working on my diplomatic skills a great deal more now that I was Harbinger.

Vilkas nodded. “Aye, but to not attend the victory is to express more than that. I will have a talk to her. Farkas! Make sure you return with the Harbinger while I go with Aela.”

Farkas nodded and smiled a slow smile spreading across his face. “Now maybe we can get an ale and share stories?”

I smiled but inwardly, I was beginning to feel nervous.

 


	21. Lost in a Sea of Blue

In the wee hours of the morning, under the cover of a heavy mist and a dark ominous looking sky, they moved silently through the dense thicket of bushes. Stepping carefully, they advanced towards the camp ahead, wary of the guards circling, keeping watch.

Signals, passed soundlessly among the soldiers, gave the latest information required for the strategic movement. It was a bold move on their behalf and had come together rather quickly when word had come of the location of a camp not too far from where they were currently traveling. If all went according to plan, it could possibly net information vital to the success of the next endeavor and those in the near future.  
Some might say it would be another humiliation for the Imperials, who so far, had been losing to the Stormcloaks of late. Ulfric was keeping a tight grip on his success of late and more importantly, he was snapping at the heels of General Tullius in retaliation for Darkwater Crossing. But one must remember to not get ahead of oneself and announce a victory prematurely. Best wait until after the final siege and then count your wins and blessings hopefully.

Ralof peered through the bushes, surrounding the Imperial camp and focused one eye on the man posted on guard closest to him, while the other looked for any possible traps surrounding the edge of the camp they were about to breach. He wiped his water sodden hair from his forehead and hoped that the rain that now had begun to fall heavily would ensure cover for their adventure. Seeing no indication of any trip wires, Ralof leaned further ahead on the toes of boots and listened to the man’s breathing. Ralof matched his own to the guards and closed his eyes, calming himself.

As the guard bent to adjust his boots, Ralof made his move and cleanly and quietly cut his air off so the man would simply become unconscious.

Dragging the unconscious man further back into the bushes, he motioned to the other soldiers to mount their attack.

The soldiers moved through the bushes and into the Imperial camp, quickly and efficiently, overpowering their targets with few numbers.

Once the camp was under Stormcloak control, Ralof posted guards and began the process of finding any information that could further their position in the struggle for Skyrim.

In the Imperial Commanders tent, Ralof riffled through the stacks of papers until he found what he was searching for. He checked the map he carried and when he was positive of the information he nodded.  
Smiling to himself, he strode quickly to the Stormcloak courier and handed him the information to be brought to Jarl Ulfric immediately.

“Under no circumstances are you to stop for any reason. This must reach Windhelm before morning. Take the horse and go. Talos guide you.”

Ralof laid his hand over his heart and dipped his head to the courier.

The courier copied his motion and then mounted the pale horse that stood saddled and rode out of camp as if the Gates of Oblivion had opened behind him.

Ralof watched him leave and was suddenly struck with an image from a day long ago.

It was of Phenarie as she had turned and had left him on the porch of his sister’s house in Riverwood.

Ralof half grimaced.

He had asked her to come with him, to Windhelm and she had declined. In fact, she had declined his offer more than once.

It had saddened Ralof as he thought he had not only found in her a comrade among arms, but perhaps someone with whom later he could have possible started a life with, after the war ended.

Ralof hoped it was not because she shared no feelings for him. She was a remarkable young woman and he could not forget her face the first time he had seen her, weaving and pitching forward into their camp just outside of Darkwater Crossing. When her eyes had opened her had never seen such eyes before. They held him, captivated for the entire time they were looking at him. In them he had felt he was drowning.

He wondered where she was at that particular moment. If she was happy, if she was safe and more importantly, did she think of him at all.

Ralof sighed. He would have given almost anything to see her again, even if it was only for the briefest of moments; even if she did not return his feelings.

He moved to the campfire and scooped up a cup of stew and then sat by himself deep in thought, lost in a sea of blue.


	22. Harbinger

Farkas kept quiet, on the return trip to Jorrvaskr, but I could sense something brewing, just underneath the surface. Several times I thought he was going to share what it was that was causing him stress with me, but he only ended up shaking his head and turning away.  
I did not pry or pressure him to share with me the issue, knowing he would speak if and when he wished to.

We returned to Jorrvaskr and found it was soon a buzz with the news. There was congratulations for releasing Kodlak and giving him the peace he so richly deserved. Then came the looks of almost shock as it was announced that I was now Harbinger.

Ria was the first to come forward and congratulate me, stepping forward shyly as she had a habit of doing so often and touching my arm gently, while Njada stood beside her, arms folded across her chest squinting her eyes at me and cocking her head to one side before she offered her slightly strained congratulations.

Torvar was next and he immediately tried for a hug-he was a groper I had found out earlier on. I just took his hand in mine and shook it.

Athis slapped my back heartily and confided that he and Torvar both knew it was going to happen eventually. Though Athis added he always thought it would be he named Harbinger at some point.

Torvar turned to Athis and told him he owed him some gold. I guessed they had bet on who would be named Harbinger. Athis grumbled about paying up later.

Vignar shook my hand, offering his aid and council if I ever required it, while Brill just nodded and offered his congratulations quietly.

Tilma appeared at my elbow, with tears in her eyes, offering to cook something special in honor of the occasion; one of my favorite dishes perhaps and she rushed away to bring me an ale. I thanked her profusely and told her I would not have her fussing over me and smiled warmly at her.  
I made a note to myself to speak to someone about getting her some help. I did not think it was fair that she did all the cooking and cleaning on her own. I knew she was more than capable, but I liked the matronly woman and wanted to do that for her.

The door opened behind us, bringing in a fresh gust of air to the smoke filled room. Vilkas strode in, Aela a few paces behind, streaked with blood and bits of bush and leaves in their hair.  
To me, it looked as if something heavy had happened between them as the strain was almost palpable.

Vilkas grunted and stepped toward me, his eyes roaming over my face.

“We brought two elks to roast for tonight we celebrate the new Harbinger!” He announced and he nodded to me.

Aela came to stand beside me, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. She reached for an ale on the table behind us and hoisted it to the air in front of herself. “To our new Harbinger, let us raise our voices.”

Everyone spoke as one. “Harbinger!”

I was to say the least shocked that it had been her that had led the shout to honor me. After her tone in Ysgramor’s Tomb, I doubted that she would ever come around to accepting what had happened. I wondered if perhaps Vilkas had had a hand in changing her mind. I glanced in his direction as he watched Aela under hooded eyes.

Nonetheless, I was happy to have some peace in that regard, if albeit forced perhaps.  
  


~~*~~

  
We ate great slabs of elk steaks later that evening, served with roasted leeks, apples cooked in ale and great slabs of honeycomb, golden loaves of braided bread slathered in butter and garlic, bowls of mixed steamed greens, and grilled tomato served with cheese and trays of sweet desserts that glistened in the light of the fire.

Kodlak’s chair remained empty at the head of the table, respectfully, apart from a flagon of ale sitting in front of it, on the table. It would remain so like that as long as I was Harbinger.  
I had had great respect for the man and no amount of time would diminish that.

Aela sat far from me, and even further from Vilkas, watching with eyes that caught the glow of the fire and reflecting the beast-blood that boiled within her.  
I nodded to her when she raised a flagon of mead in my direction after catching me watching her.  
I raised my own in return and still kept one eye upon her whilst I drank the contents of flagon.  
She was quiet and reserved and did not partake of the conversations round the table.  
I directed my gaze to Vilkas who at the moment was listening to his brother.

My focus was drawn to Farkas who was involved in a rather heated and embarrassing argument with Torvar beside me, about the merits of one of the local females at the Bannered Mare.  
I rolled my eyes at their comments and found that both were equally wrong about the perception of women.

A few hours later Farkas obviously had one too many ales and had fallen asleep at the table, face first into his fourth or perhaps it was his fifth plate of food, until prompted by Vilkas to go to his quarters.  
He stood, yawning and bade me a good night before heading to bed.

 _I hope he cleans his face first, as if that will happen in his current state._ I thought to myself with a smile.

The hour grew late and I too found myself feeling the effects of not only the meal but the continuous rounds of ale passed in my direction.

Vilkas shook me gently as he passed behind me on his way for another round of ale, then pointed stairs at the end of the hall that lead to the quarters.  
He dropped his head down close to mine and spoke softly in my ear. “Go on. You need the rest. Being the Harbinger does not mean you have to be the last one at the table or drink us under the table.”

I stood, swaying lightly on my feet and I wandered slowly across the room and down the stairs to the door of the sleeping quarters.

I heard footsteps on the stairs behind me and turned to see who it was.

Vilkas had followed.

I turned away to face the doors.

I was about to push through them when he spoke.

“Kodlaks’ quarters are now yours. He would not mind at all, Harbinger.”

I shook my head. “No, it is too soon, I would not feel comfortable. I wish for things to remain the same for now. Besides, I do not know if I will be staying here. I have Breezehome.”

Vilkas stepped closer as he looked down into my face. “You would leave the safety of our roof to live on your own? Or is it something else that drives you from here?”

I shook my head. “Nothing is driving me from out under this roof Vilkas, don’t read something into it. I purchased Breezehome with the help of Kodlak and that is where I will make my home.” I hesitated for a moment, then began. “He was going to come and visit, to share meals with me there. He thought I needed a proper home and that is what it will represent…” I trailed off as a yawn interrupted me.  
I wished he would leave me so I could crawl into bed. I was beginning to see two of him and there was a third coming into view.

His eyes burned into mine. “Harbinger, I need your council. Could we speak a moment?”

I shook my head; _gods no man, just leave me alone, you complain of people coming to you all the time with question_ s. _I get it is annoying._ Sleep was all I had on my mind which was rapidly filling with cotton wool as I struggled to keep my eyes open. I felt myself drifting, my eyes drooping.

Next thing I knew I found myself being lifted into the air, in gentle yet strong arms. I protested, but was told to shush. I could smell the faint scent of spice and honey and the smell of ale and meat and underneath that sweat.  
I laid my head on a hard shoulder and let myself be carried to a bed where upon I was laid. Someone removed my boots and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Sit up.” They ordered me and I complied.

I struggled to sit up and my armor was removed.

Somewhere in the distance I heard growling and then it stopped.

I lay back down on the bed and fell quickly into a dreamless sleep.  
  


~~*~~

  
I awoke groggy, with my head and eyes full of sand. I rubbed at them, yawning then sat up on the bed. Shifting my weight, I swung my legs to the edge of the bed and I stood and stretched my eyes still behind my hands as I continued to rub at them. The events of the evening before came flooding back to me, all except what had happened after coming downstairs and speaking with Vilkas. That was fuzzy.

As I dropped my hands, I looked at the bed I had slept in, it was not mine. The room was not mine. I studied the items lying about and a cold finger ran down my spine at the realization that it was Vilkas’ room I was in. I desperately searched my mind to sweep the fuzziness aside that persisted to find clues as to what had occurred if anything, when a knock sounded at the door.

_Oh by the nine no, please no._

“Come.” I responded, a sense of dread at knowing who it gripping me.

There he was, Vilkas, entering the room with a broad smile upon his smug face and in his hands he held a tray of something covered that smelled like eggs and fried tomatoes and warm bread. _No doubt it was an offering to me._

“I thought you might want to eat here then…”

_Oh so it is now the I will look after you cause I had my way with you is it? Not so fast there, mister.  
_

I charged in full steam, casting any apprehension aside. “What happened last night and I need to know the truth!” I choked out the words, trying to avoid his eyes that twinkled with what I thought was merriment.

_Is he laughing at me? He is laughing at me._

Vilkas then appeared shocked, wounded and frankly appalled at my question. “You…you forgot what transpired? I thought it would be…still fresh in your mind.”

I peeked at him and saw the beginnings of a smile that started at the corner of his mouth and soon spread across his entire face.

I blushed heavily. “I’m sorry…I…uh…I don’t remember.” I cast my eyes down to the floor.

 _Look anywhere but just don’t look at his face._ I cautioned myself. _  
_

“You fell asleep on your feet. I carried you in to my quarters and, uh, I took your armor and left you to sleep…in my bed…alone, while I slept outside in the hall on a rather very uncomfortable chair.”

I raised my eyes to meet his, a question forming on my lips.

“And your honor is still intact, Harbinger. If I were not such a…”

“Gentleman,” I interrupted, “than I would have need of worry.” Inwardly I breathed a rather large sigh of relief.

Vilkas smiled. “Exactly what I intended to say to you.” He paused for a moment the smile returning to his face. “While you eat, Harbinger, may I seek your council?”

I nodded as my stomach rumbled as I caught a whiff of the food and I motioned for him to sit.  
Uncovering the tray, I tore a piece of bread off and dipped it into the egg. I listened to Vilkas and chewed thoughtfully.

He stopped talking and I began. “I have four heads remaining Vilkas; if you wish to be cleansed of the beast-blood like Kodlak, we could do that. I could travel with you, if you wish. We can leave as soon as I finish eating and dress in my armor,” I looked around, “wherever that is.”

Vilkas pointed to a corner behind me.

I smiled at him and finished my breakfast.  
  


~~*~~  
  


We ran to Ysgramor’s tomb, by way of Winterhold, with its persistent snow and coldness that threatened to chill us to the bone.

I shivered and dug my heels in to the snow to enable better footing. Who would want to live in such a cold place escaped me. I preferred the lush greenness of Riverwood. Even the dryness of Whiterun was better than all of this snow.

The barrow was just ahead over the shallow path through the icy water that splashed up soaking my legs and lower back, sending a shiver up my spine.

Standing before the iron doors to the tomb, I looked upon the face of my companion. His eyes were set on the task at hand and his lips were pursed as he pushed through the doors not speaking a word.

We took the circular wooden stairs, down to the chamber where The Flame of the Harbinger stood blazing blue. I nodded to Vilkas and he returned the gesture.

Reaching into the sack, I removed one of the witch’s heads and throwing the head upon the fire I readied myself for the wolf spirit.

We fought it together when it appeared, leaping from Vilkas, snarling, snapping and howling with defiance; its massive size easily dwarfing both of us.  
It did not die without a fight.

When we had defeated it, Vilkas went to one knee, head down in silence with a heavy sigh and trembling with either relief or fear. I knew not which one.

I touched his shoulder.

“Is it over?” He asked shakily, his voice hoarse, not raising his head.

“Aye, it is. Are you okay?” I asked.

Vilkas stood and stretched, turning to face me. He took a deep breath in and nodded to me, his face softening. “I…it’s like waking up out of a dream. I can breathe more deeply now. I can’t smell your heart beating the way I used to. But my mind is…is clear. This is a great service you’ve done for me, Harbinger, I will not soon forget. Forgive me for now…I’d like to spend some time communing with Ysgramor. My soul is clean now. Perhaps he’ll still welcome me when my time comes.”

“I will leave you in peace then. I’m going to head back to Whiterun, but I’m going to stop by Riverwood and see some friends, I’m not sure how long I will be.”

“ I will see you back at Jorrvaskr, when you return, Harbinger.”

I left him there, communing with Ysgramor and maybe even Kodlak. My mind had already moved forward to Riverwood and those that I hoped to see.


	23. Release

Riverwood was shrouded in dark grey swollen clouds that released a heavy rain soaking through everything in a matter of seconds, drenching me to the bone before I arrived on Gerdur’s doorstep.  
I knocked on the rough hewn wooden door and was greeted by Frodnar and Stump who were on their way out. Apparently, they had tracked mud all over the house, for the third time that day and Gerdur was not in the least bit happy.  
Her disposition changed though when she saw me standing in her doorway.

“Aye it is good to see you, friend. It has been too long. Tell me of your travels while I prepare something.”

“I brought part of dinner.” I pulled a couple of fat pheasants from a satchel, holding them out for her inspection and told her I would clean them.

  
~~*~~

  
After the pheasants were thoroughly cleaned and had gone into the pot for cooking and the vegetables were prepped, we sat on the front veranda and talked.  
I told Gerdur of the events since my last visit and of my worries. I spoke of Aela and my gut feelings.

Her advice was to wait it out and see that perhaps things would be different as time went on.

“No one can see the future; what comes, comes, but do not look for trouble when as of yet there is none. Aela will settle I’m sure given time. You will make a good leader for the Companions. Follow your heart, Phenarie.”

I nodded. _Perhaps she is right and I am reading more into the situation than there was._  
_Would I not have felt the same if I were Aela and some stranger was named Harbinger? Perhaps it had even been one of the twins that she had thought should have been named Harbinger and not me. It was not as if I could read Aela’s mind or if she had even spoken to me about the whole ordeal. In fact, she had not spoken to me since that day._  
I sighed and wrestled with the inner turmoil that I counted as my life now.

After dinner, once we cleaned up, I bedded down for the night and slept dreaming of the Companions, but it was someone different that interrupted my dreams that night; a man that had the bluest eyes I had ever seen in my life.

  
~~*~~

  
I stood waiting at the doors of Jorrvaskr for her return. I paced back and forth.

Vilkas laughed at me as he approached. “Calm yourself brother, she will return in her own time. One thing is for sure, you cannot rush her; especially her.”

I shot my twin a look. _What exactly does he mean by that comment? He could try and upset me, but all I want right now is for her to return. I do not care. I have more important things on my mind. But, I wonder if there is something about her that I should know? Or is he inferring to something between them? I have seen how you look at her and I do not like it. It is not as if I have laid a claim on her, but…_  
_Phenarie is beautiful and strong, she is our leader and she is my Shield-Sister and I had sworn I would protect her no matter what. I wondered if that includes protecting her now from you, my own brother._

I sighed wearily, my head beginning to ache with frustration and tension and I continued with my pacing.  
I needed her to return, now, especially now that I had made the decision after thinking on it and then learning that Vilkas was not of the beast-blood anymore.  
I groaned and gave up and went to the yard to work out some of my frustration.

  
~~*~~

  
I watched her walk down the stairs towards me, graceful like a cat, my heart hammering in my chest.

”I understand you have been waiting for me, Farkas. There is something you wish to discuss? She spoke to me with her velvety tone.

“Yes. I wish to be cured of the beast-blood like my brother and Kodlak; could you help me with this Shield-Sister?”

“I would be honored Farkas.” She smiled warmly upon me.

  
~~*~~

  
We left for Ysgramor’s Tomb that afternoon and as I ran beside her I wondered if she would look at me differently when I was cured.

In my inability to enter the tomb before because of my fear that became my shame, I had missed out on seeing the interior of the tomb and seeing Kodlak and witnessing his cleansing.

We entered the tomb and ran down a flight of stairs to a large chamber. To my right was an enclosed crypt. I looked at it for a moment and figured it might be the crypt of Ysgramor himself.  
In the center of the room was a brazier that glowed with a blue flame; the Flame of The Harbingers, burning bright and true.

She walked towards the brazier and held up the sack containing the head.

”Are you ready?”

I nodded, lifting my weapon and braced myself for whatever happened.

She threw the head into the blue flame and howling filled my head.

I felt something rip free from inside of me and then a shooting pain filled my body. I fell to my knees as my wolf spirit tore itself from my body.  
It stood snapping and snarling, the wolf that had lived within me since the day I had taken the beast blood.

It howled then it launched itself at Phenarie.

She quickly pulled her sword and slashed at it with ease, but it refused to get close enough for her to kill it.

I stood on wobbly legs and scrambled forward, head down rushing at it, catching it in its side and forced it back against the brazier. Taking sword in hand, I tried to gut it, but it moved too quickly.

Phenarie ran forward, sword raised above her head, an icy trail of mist behind it. She launched herself directly at the wold and landed on its back, and then with a force she brought the sword down into its head.

It finally died in a flash of light.

I knelt on the floor and was shaking from the experience. “Is it over?” I asked with a dry throat. _By the Gods I could use an ale._

“Get up, Farkas.” Her hand gripped my shoulder.

She looked into my face and smiled.

"How do you feel now?"

“It’s like relaxing into a warm mug of spiced ale. I’m losing aches I didn’t know I had. This is how a warrior should feel. Alive and aware. Not clouded with thoughts of the hunt. Thank you for your help, Shield-Sister. I’m going to stay in the tomb for a while. My shame kept me out before, but now I want to see it.”

She turned to leave and hesitated, her shoulders lowering. “Farkas, while you are here, would...could you help me with something?”

I nodded. “Whatever you need, Shield-Sister.”

  
~~*~~

  
I asked Farkas to help me release my wolf spirit. I knew it had been a mistake and because of that mistake it cost a man dear to me his life. I thought that it was the way of the Companions and the Circle, only too late to find I was misled by Aela and Skjor in their personal quests for absolute power.

I took the head from the sack, looking at it for a moment-its pallid complexion, the slack jaw and the dull opaque eyes. Within that head is the power to make the creatures we became and now they hold the ability to unmake me.

I tossed it into the flame and stepped back.

It was if I were being torn in two. I could hear a ripping sound then I felt light-headed and woozy. The room swam before me disappearing into a tiny dark hole then there was nothing.

  
~~*~~

Through a mist I could see the wolf spirit as it advanced towards me; one paw in front of the other, slowing watching me. Its pink tongue lolled from its mouth and it whined at me. Cocking its head, it stared into my eyes. I could see my reflection staring back at me, small and pale.

  
I then saw the mist start to part and Farkas jumped between the wolf and me, his sword drawn. He shoved me out of the way sending me skidding across the stone floor.  
The wolf turned on him and snarled, jumping up, teeth snapping in his face.

Farkas shoved at the wolf and he lunged forward, sword swinging towards the wolf and missing by mere inches.

The wolf leapt back, thundering in its chest. It turned tail and ran to one of the upper daises that surrounded the room. It stood watching us, panting, its chest heaving and white foam dripping from its mouth before rushing down, mouth open, eyes blazing.

Farkas raised his sword as he turned on heel and swung around, gaining speed as he went and swung out catching the wolf in the neck, severing its head from its body. The wolf fell down; blood spraying from the wound and it shuddered, then lay still.

I stood and blinked.

Farkas was holding my arm. “Are you okay?”

I nodded. “I understand now as to what you and Vilkas were talking about. Thank you for helping me do this.”

Farkas grinned. “I would do anything to help you, Shield-Sister.”


	24. Of Promises and Oaths

 

My return to Jorrvaskr was bittersweet. I was not the same, not since Kodlak had passed and now, being cleansed of the reason for his death, it stung even more.

I was still in a tight spot with Aela and her not being named Harbinger. The coldness that exuded from her was by no means unbelievable.   
Upon entering Jorrvaskr, I noticed her look in my direction; distant and threatening, her eyes like two daggers as I moved towards the stairs down to the quarters.

I thought of the other things that had happened upon arriving in Whiterun.   
My being named Thane after having defeated Mirmulnir and being awarded Lydia, my housecarl.   
Then because of my defeating Mirmulnir, there was this Dragonborn issue that had come to light.  
I had ignored it for as long as I could, but no doubt it would eventually rear its head when I least expected it. I thought about the Greybeards that the Jarl had informed me of and I wondered if I should perhaps visit them. Maybe they could help me with the Dragonborn issue.

I sighed as I strode to the sleeping quarters.  
I longed for a simpler time knowing that could never be possible.

 _What have you gotten yourself into Phenarie?_ I asked myself.  
  
I thought back to that day, when I had stood before the Standing Stones, that I had known who I was going to become-a warrior. I had sworn to help those that could not help themselves. Now, I was even more unsure if I was even doing that. I sighed. Life was simpler back before all of this had happened.

I looked around the quarters at the sleeping Ria and Njada. They had chosen this life and were content. Why could I not be?

Ria had heard the stories about the Companions from when she was a young girl and had set out to join them. It was a fit for her.

Njada had never told me of her reasons for joining. She did not like anyone and was not above letting you know.

I lay down on the bed I had sat on and lay with my hands behind my head. I thought about Jorrvaskr and what it meant to the others.

It did not feel like my home, but I did have a place I could perhaps make home.

I rolled over and stared at the wall. I made the decision that I would move into Breezehome and live there. Why it had taken me so long, well, I guess I had been busy with all that had happened. In the morning I would start the process of moving, though I knew it would be met with resistance. Especially from Farkas who seemed to have taken me under his wing so to speak.  
I smiled. He was the brother I never had and it felt good to have someone who cared.

I frowned as a second thought interrupted my seemingly found peace. As for remaining Harbinger, I felt that that title belonged to someone who could direct the Companions. I thought that Vilkas should be granted the title.   
I did not think it would be a problem. Though I knew it would be. I would speak to him later.

I closed my eyes and drifted off, excited about the prospect of Breezehome.

 

~~*~~

  
   
I woke early in the morning, a tad stiff, and hungry to start my new adventure. I sat on the edge of my bed and listened to the sounds around me. I could hear Njada and Ria sharing conquests. Brill was talking to Vignar about the old days. Athis and Torvar were at it again about the mead and the honey in it.  


I stood and gathered up what belongings I had acquired and threw my knapsacks over my arm. They were not heavy, I guess I did not own as much as I thought.  
I walked upstairs to find the main hall empty and moved to open the doors of Jorrvaskr. I stepped out into the morning sun and wandered out through Whiterun to Breezehome.

~~*~~  


Breezehome stood before me, staring at me as if it were some menacing giant that I had to slay.

_I can do this, how hard can it be to enter? You own it silly girl._

I shouldered my packs and plucked up the courage. Placing the key within the lock, I opened the door and entered the darkened home. I glanced around and thought of what might have been then shook the thoughts from my head.

I thought I felt a breeze against my skin and I glanced back behind me to see if the door had opened. It was still closed.

I felt a chill on the back of my neck and arms and I thought I heard a voice in my ear.

_No sense on dwelling on the past. What has happened has happened and you must move on. Life is passing by and you cannot drown in sorrow. The dead are dead, let them rest in peace; you are alive, so live._

I recognized the voice; it was Kodlak’s.

He was right.

I looked around at the home that he had helped me purchase and I nodded.

Dumping my knapsacks on the floor, I moved around the home, opening the windows, allowing the light to filter in.

I bent to the hearth and began lay out kindling and wood for a fire for later usage.

 I checked the last of the crates that had been delivered. I guessed Lydia had not had a chance to come and open them. I would have to let her know I was here now and not at Jorrvaskr.

I began opening a few of them and found some things I had forgotten I had ordered.

In one of the crates, lying amongst some fabric was a flagon I had commissioned for Kodlak. It was to be his when he came for his visits.

I smiled at the wolf engraving and ran my finger over his name, engraved in a fluid script upon the metal.

I placed it on the mantel above the fire and smiled.

“You require a place of honor.”

In another crate I found a few items I had chosen to make the place seem more like home.

I had a set of candlesticks, a blue vase inlaid with some flower design of a different stone and some runners for the tables. It was not all frilly, but I still wanted a feminine touch to my new home. I wandered through Breezehome, moving things about and setting my touch to my new home.

Upstairs, I found the room for Lydia was neatly organized and some of her personal belongings had been stored away in the dresser.  
In the master bedroom, I found a chair and desk and upon it a few rolls of blank parchment, a quill and ink pot. A map of Skyrim hung over it graced by two wall sconces.   
A few bound books sat stacked neatly in the small bookcase beside it.   
The bed was made up with cotton sheets and a warm woolen blanket and on either side of it on the floor were two braided rugs in colors that matched the blanket.

All in all it seemed cozy, neat and tidy, but something still was lacking. Perhaps once I settled it would begin to feel more like home.

Returning downstairs, I sighed.

It was too nice of a day to be cooped up and I yearned to stretch my legs.

Securing my weapons, I opened the front door and stepped out into the bright warmth of sunshine.

I moved to the main gate and exited and turned to west, my feet following the road.

Where I was headed I did not know, but I wanted to walk, to take time to clear the muddle that was now my life.

~~*~~  


I passed by the Western Watchtower and returned a wave to the guards who stood on duty. I recalled it was there I had fought Mirmulnir.

I passed by Fort Greymoor turning southwest following the road that skirted by Bloated Man’s Grotto. 

The sun shone down upon me, warming my face and I felt at peace for a few moments.

I felt the presence of someone or something watching me from the shadows near Bloated Man’s Grotto and I moved my hand to my weapon.

A man appeared, shabbily dressed in tunic and pants. He was filthy and stood a good bit from me watching with a vacant look on his face.

“Good day.” I spoke first.

He raised one hand and nodded at me while stepping forward slightly.

“I would ask you come no further. I would not want to harm you.” He spoke gently.

I wondered who he was and what he was doing out here.

He appeared to be nervous almost as he stood there looking around as if he expected someone to jump out of the bushes behind him.

“I am not going to hurt you. Is there something I can help you with?” I said with what I hoped was a soothing voice.

_What are you thinking, Phenarie? He just said he did want to harm you? Are you deaf?_

The man stood still and then hunkered down, his face in my direction.

“I came here to get away from them. I killed a little girl and now I must pay the price. It’s all because of that damn ring or so I thought. I thought it could control my transformations. I gave it to someone who was supposed to give it to Hircine, but it has not helped me. I am a werewolf.”

I nodded knowing exactly what he was speaking on.

“I can help you with that, if you let me. I was in the same spot actually just a little while ago and I was cured.”

The man scoffed. “There is no cure for me. I am doomed, doomed to be this blasted creature for the rest of my days, however long that is. I cannot control the changes so I had stolen the ring thinking it would help, but Hircine had put a curse on it, or maybe he cursed me, can never tell with the Daedra, always using us mortals for their amusement. So here I am. I ran from Falkreath thinking I could stay here,” he gestured to Bloated Man’s Grotto, “out of the way of people, but I cannot keep on like this. The call of the blood is too strong. It is a full moon tonight and I must go. I need to hunt. I need to satisfy the beast within.”

He stood taking a step towards me and I flinched. My hand snatched my weapon Iyce and I pointed it at his throat as he advanced towards me.

“Not a step closer I tell you unless you wish to die in the middle of the road now.”

The man hesitated and he did step forward, testing me perhaps.

“If you can help me, help me, either way by death or whatever way you cured yourself of this horrible curse. I plead of you.”

I looked at him and nodded, seeing the tears in his eyes.

“Tell me your name.”

“My name is Sinding.”

I nodded my head in acknowledgement. “I am Phenarie,” I paused for a moment then added, “Harbinger of the Companions.”

He looked astounded.

“Then that…then that means that Kodlak is dead. May his soul rest in Sovengarde.”

I stepped nearer. “Did you know him?”

Sinding shook his head. “I knew of him, not him the man. It was said he was a great warrior and leader. You must be the same, a great leader to be named Harbinger of the Companions. If you can help me, please I beseech you.”

“I must go, but I will return. There is something that I need to collect in Whiterun. You will wait for me here, I promise not to be long then we shall see about lifting this curse that you are weighted down with.”

Sinding nodded and moved back towards Bloated Man’s Grotto where he disappeared into without looking back.

~~*~~

I changed my direction, I had now a new purpose and I swiftly moved back the way I had come towards Whiterun.

As I passed Fort Greymoor I noticed that there was movement within the open gate.   
I kept walking forward all the while keeping an eye out for trouble.  
I noticed someone up on top of the walkway above the gate and by the looks of them; I placed them to be bandits.  
Bandits had moved in and that surely meant trouble for those on the road to Whiterun.

I picked up my pace and moved towards the Western Watchtower and stopped to inform the guards of my discovery.   
The guard thanked me and inquired if I was returning to Whiterun and if I could pass the information on to General Caius to send reinforcements.  
I informed her that I could.

I quickened my pace for Whiterun and arrived just as the guards at the gate were changing shifts. I informed them of the bandits at the fort and they exchanged glances.

”It has been a long time since we have had a good bandit raid.”

I shook my head. _What were they thinking?_

I moved through the gates and found Commander Caius up at Dragonsreach. Upon hearing of the bandits, he excused himself and went to rally his guards who would make an assault on the fort immediately.

I pondered whether or not if I should inform the Companions and decided perhaps it was best.

I opened the heavy doors of Jorrvaskr and entered.   
No one had noticed my absence and in that absence the daily rituals and on goings had continued.

I skirted the long table to find Farkas sitting at one of the smaller benches, eating a sweet roll.

He had icing on his nose and I pointed it out to him. He thanked me before taking the remaining sweet roll into his mouth and smacking his lips.

“So, what are you planning today? Anything exciting that I can become involved in?” He inquired with hope edging his voice.

“Oh, I might have something right up your alley. How do you feel about clearing some bandits out of a fort before they cause too much trouble for travelers on the road?”

Farkas stood, shouldering his greatsword.

“Then let us go.”

 

~~*~~

We met the guards that had been assigned to clear the fort of bandits just outside of the gate.

They were happy to see the Companions assisting.

Our group moved towards the fort and picked up two more guards from the Western Watchtower who informed us that one of the bandits had ventured close to the tower.

The guard figured the bandits were testing to see if the guards would attack.

I inquired if the guards had made any movement toward the bandit and she informed me that they had not, that they were waiting for reinforcements.

She raised her hand in salute to Commander Caius as he appeared behind us. He would remain behind while the guards came with us.

I nodded and we continued on.

Just past the abandoned farm, we noticed some smoke rising from the fort. The closer we came the stronger the smell of smoke became and we were perplexed at why the bandits were burning the fort.  
They were not burning the fort we discovered when we broached the front gate after dispatching two of the bandits on guard. There were at least three more scattered around the outer wall, waiting for us to make our movement.   
They put up quite a fight and managed to injure one of party.

The bandits had set up a cauldron of oil and were planning on using on anyone who ventured too close to the fort. Luckily we had foiled their plans-well we hoped so at least.

Being cautious, we entered the fort, not knowing the number of bandits inside.

We ourselves had been a small force of five guards, Farkas and me. Now due to the injury of one, I was not sure the level of competence of the guards that remained. From what I had witnessed outside, they were perhaps not so ready to handle this raid. But nonetheless, we would have to make do.  
I knew what Farkas and I could do, but that gave little peace as we wove our way through the fort in search of those within.

~~*~~

 

We entered the main doors and found ourselves faced with a cross roads of sort. The corridor, in which we stood, split off into several directions; ahead, left and right.   
I did not feel comfortable splitting up and so we remained together sweeping through the fort. One section at a time we went, finding the bandits who seemed to be slightly surprised by our intrusion.  
We met heavy resistance and at several moments it became clear that some of those we were fighting against were extremely savage.

In one of the rooms we were met with a bandit who subsequently engulfed one of the guards in flames.  
Farkas managed to end the bandit, but as for the guard, there was unfortunately no hope for him. He died soon after.

In the kitchen area in the northeastern wing, we found a woman, Agnis, who did not seem to care who held the fort. She just cooked and cleaned for whoever was in charge.

She informed us that there was at least ten more men scattered throughout the fort, but she had heard that three were currently out on a mission towards Rorikstead; something to do with exacting revenge on some farmer who gave them a hard time.

That left us with six more men if by her account the number was true.

We skirted the tables in the room and moved towards the stairs and were just in time to happen upon two bandits on their way up for what they thought was late lunch. They were arguing about which to have, the rabbit stew or the venison and when they saw us, they made a break for it and ran back down the stairs hoping to avoid a confrontation.   
We chased after them and discovered the true nature of their plans as we met up with two more bandits sitting sharpening their weapons.

They rose from their seats, and were to be both of massive size, wearing heavy armor and their weapons of choice were both battle axes. Only these had been changed to include some rather nasty looking spikes on the side for what purpose than other mauling your enemy.

Farkas took one look at the men and smiled then he rushed forward roaring as loud as he could.  
I don’t think the bandits knew what to think when he did that as it seemed to startle them and they turned tail and ran.   
Farkas gave chase along with two of the guards.

 I was left with the remaining guards and we moved forward.

In a chamber we could hear muffled voices and I was unsure of how many bandits remained within.

I scuffed my boot on the stone floor and listened to the footsteps that drew close to the door.

Standing behind the door, I opened it quickly.

That gave the two archers in my group the opportunity to nock arrow to bow and release a volley of steel arrows that managed to find a few weak spots in the bandits armor.  
I made my move taking the closet of the bandits and stabbed him in the chest then as he doubled over in pain, I sliced his neck open.

The next bandit dove forward and tried for my legs, but I myself dove and rolled behind him slicing his Achilles tendon.  
Now hobbled, he howled in pain and fell to the ground; I drive the tip of my blade into his throat and watched as he choked on his own blood.  
  
I lifted my head and looked towards my next intended target.

One bandit remained who was trying desperately to pull an arrow from his shoulder. Upon seeing me and the guards, she shrieked and flew at us.

The guards released another volley of arrows and she collapsed in the process.

As she lay on the floor, bleeding and uttering vulgar threats, I drew near to her and dropped down to face her.

“How many more of you are there? Tell me and I might spare your life.”

She spat at me and turned her head away.

“I would rather die than tell you, bitch. Just get it over with so I don’t have to look at you.”

I stood to my full height.

“Very well then, your wish shall be granted.”

I drove Iyce into her chest.

The guards behind me lowered their heads.

“Does she deserve your pity or respect?” I choked out. “She was a bandit. Don’t let the fact that she was a woman question whether our actions were right or wrong. She chose that life and she had better been prepared to suffer the consequences.”

I stormed past the guards looking for Farkas.

I found them in a lower chamber, Farkas covered in blood and standing over the bodies with a look of disgust on his face, staring into a small room, the door slightly ajar.

When I moved forward towards the door, Farkas raised his arm across my path to stop me.

“You do not need to see.”

I looked at him, my brow furrowed wondering what it was that he was hiding or perhaps he was shielding me from something horrible. Either way I wanted to see.

I pushed past him as he growled at me. “You do not need to see.”

I shoved past him and gaped at the unspeakable and atrocious sight that lay before me.

In the small room there must have been at least eight bodies of women and men of various ages, all stripped of their belongings and mutilated beyond belief.  
Some were partially burned and some; some had their limbs cut from them.

I shuddered at the sight before me; the absolute horrendous torture that they must have suffered, for what, few coins or trinkets perhaps?

No one deserved to suffer such a fate.

I choked the bile that rose in my throat and gasped for air.

One of the guards behind me let out a yell as he recognized one of the bodies. It was his sister.

The horrible feeling collapsed on top of me and I felt myself spiraling down into the depths of darkness.

A tunnel opened before me and I was there again. I could hear the sounds of the forest around me, I could smell everything. I could smell the scent of her blood, of her own filth. I could see the arrow sticking out of her throat and the way her eyes had started to film over. I felt her limp body in my arms and I threw my head back and screamed.

I screamed releasing the energy within, shaking the room we were in. Stone shook and began to tumble down around and I was oblivious to it as I could not see it.  
  
My sister’s face swam before me, pale and lifeless.

A pair of strong hands gripped my arms and shook me; my name was being called in the distance through the darkness.

I turned towards it slowly and heard the voice call to me again. It was Farkas, but how could he be here? He was not here.

I was shaken again and then slapped, hard.

I came back, roaring to the present and to Farkas who stood before me, pale and sweating; his eyes large and dark with fear.

“Phenarie, come back to me, please.”

I did and I collapsed forward into his arms.

~~*~~  


General Caius who upon hearing the shout I had loosened inside, had arrived with a few more guards, took care of the remaining bandits within the fort while Farkas and I waited outside for them with Agnis, to finish sweeping the fort for other victims.  
He dispatched a few guards with orders to hunt down the bandits that had left towards Rorikstead as Agnis had indicated to us.

Agnis did have any idea that that was what the current bandits had been doing. She told us that she had been kept away from that section of the fort and was under explicit instructions not to venture forth or suffer death.  
She had kept her word and had not ventured forth.

  
When Jarl Balgruuf had heard of the story he took no pity on her and he sentenced her to imprisonment.  
Some thought he was being harsh, but as Proventus Avenicci pointed out, she could have been lying to save her own skin and no one would ever truly know what had gone on behind the walls of the fort.

~~*~~

 

I returned to Breezehome, with Farkas on my heels. With my hand on the door handle, I paused before pushing the door open. Stepping into Breezehome, I suddenly remembered that I was to meet Sinding back at Bloated Mans Grotto. I was sure he would think I had forgotten about him and had broken my word.

Turning to Farkas I bit my bottom lip.

“I have to go somewhere; there is something I must take care of. Can you keep an eye on things for me while I am gone?”

His brows came together and a puzzled look crossed his face.

“Are you sure? What is it that you must do? Can I help?” He offered with a hopeful look coming across his face.

I shook my head. “No this is something I think is best done by me alone. I promise that when I return we will get that ale.”

Farkas dropped his head, the toe of one of his boots scraping across the floor. He looked up at me with a sideways glance.

“Fine, but I am not happy with you running off on your own. I, I made an oath to keep you safe Shield-Sister.”

I smiled slowly. “You did? That is sweet of you, Farkas, but I think I will be perfectly fine. I should not be gone long.”

 

~~*~~

I waited until Farkas left then I took one of the witches’ heads and rolled into my knapsack. Checking my quiver, I threw it over my shoulder and added my bow. I grabbed an apple from the table and was out the door and to the gate and jogging on my way back to Bloated Man’s Grotto before the sun was setting on the horizon.

 

~~*~~

 

Sinding was pacing to and fro when I returned. He rushed forward to greet me, a look of worry on his face and I stepped back hesitantly.

“Sorry, it has been some time since you left. I thought you were not returning.”

I shook my head. “I ran into some trouble on the way back to Whiterun. Several bandits had been, well, it was not a good situation so I had to intervene.”

He studied me for a moment, then he slowly began to relax.

“You are the Harbinger of the Companions; it is your responsibility to look after Whiterun and its inhabitants. You are honorable and more deserving of my patience.”

I shook my head again. “I would never have left you here and forgotten about you. I promised I would help and that is what I intend to do. Now, we had better move, we have a long way to go; north to Winterhold and beyond to Ysgramor’s Tomb.”

~~*~~

We ran, to Winterhold, arriving there in what may have been the worst possible snow storm I had ever witnessed in my life.  
Winds bayed like a wolf mourning its mate; a haunting, chilling sound that threatened to turn the blood in my veins to ice. The biting cold sank its teeth into me, ripping the breath from my lungs. I was forced to hunch over against the prevailing wind that made each step painful.  
I wondered if the gods did not want us to pursue our endeavor. If for some reason we were not supposed to complete what we had set out to do.  
Sinding, sensing my plight, took hold of my hand, pulling me close, trying to shelter me with his body and held onto me, tight in his grip, until we descended into Ysgramor’s tomb.

Shoving through the iron doors, we both huffed and exhaled a cloud of white.

“Thank you. That was something was it not?” I queried of him.

He nodded. “Hircine is not happy. He knows of what I plan to do. Be prepared, I am sure he will try and thwart our progress. But I must ask one thing of you…I wish to do this on my own, when the time comes. You may assist but only if it looks as if I won’t survive.” Sinding spoke solemnly to me.

I nodded though not fully understanding.

~~*~~

The air inside the entrance to the tomb was chilled and everything had a layer of white upon it. It looked as if the tomb had been frozen in time.  
As we moved to the entryway to the lower chamber, the layer of white dissipated.

I led Sinding, down the circular stairs, to the burning flame and told him to prepare himself.

Reaching into the knapsack, I held the witch head high above the flame, nodded at Sinding then dropped the head into the flame, watching the fire reach high above our heads.   
A scream filled the chamber we stood in and I was not sure if it was Sinding or the wolf as it appeared.

Sinding turned and greeted it, dagger in hand and the dance began between them.

I watched, ready to intercede if required.

Wolf and man circled, each watching for a point of weakness. It was a clash of wills, a fight for survival; a fight to the death.

The wolf howled and stood its ground, taunting Sinding who was not taking the bait.

He knew this dance and he was not about to make a mistake.

The wolf ignored me as it passed by me, but it growled deep within its throat. Its eyes caught the light of the flame and glowed, colder than the ice of Windhelm and colder if possible.

I raised my sword and Sinding yelled to me to stop. “No! This is my fight!”

Sinding moved forward, dagger moving from hand to hand as he approached the wolf.

“Let us end this now, my friend, I tire of this dance. Let us see how strong you really are without me.”

Sinding grinned at the wolf and I swore the wolf grinned back at him.

The wolf snapped its teeth and jumped forward, and with such fluidity that I barely saw what really happened.

A crimson pool rapidly appeared on the floor and I stared at it for a moment in disbelief.

Sinding slumped to his knees and lifted his head in my direction. He smiled at me and opened his mouth to speak, but a gurgle was all that escaped from between his paling lips.

My eyes stared at the red stain that blossomed down the front of his tunic and my brain had not yet registered that it was coming from where his throat had been.

He keeled over into the pool of his blood beneath him and lay still.

Behind me I heard a sound that sounded like a chuckle and I turned to see the wolf standing behind me; only the wolf was rippling and changing.

“He was not worthy of becoming a man, of being free.” A disembodied voice sounded in the chamber.

I looked around to see who had spoken. I returned my gaze to the wolf.

“He failed at being a werewolf and he would have failed at being a man. He was weak of flesh and will. You, you on the other hand are worthy. Come join me, Phenarie.”

I shook my head.

“No, I cleansed myself of beast blood and I have no intentions of returning to it.”

The wolf stepped forward, its head down, nose close to the ground. It lay down; front legs extended towards me, and laid its head down on its paws.

“Do you think you can say no to me? Do you not realize who I am?”

“I know who you are, Hircine, Prince of the Hunt, Father of Man-Beasts and probably a jerk who tricks people into accepting his gift without actually knowing what it really demands. No thank you, I am not interested at all.”

The wolf laughed as it sat up on it haunches, tongue lolling from its mouth in a smile.

“My, my, Phenarie, you are brave. I could easily rip your throat out, just as I did to him.”

“Yes, you could, but then I could easily defeat you. I am not afraid of you or any of you daedra.”

The wolf stood and paced back and forth. “You will not accept my offer?”

I shook my head. “No, never.”

The wolf moved towards me, whining then turned away towards the stairs behind me.

It left me standing there alone, with Sinding’s body.

I stared down at him; my heart hammering in my chest. He was another soul that I had failed to protect.

 

~~*~~

The return to trip to Whiterun was very solemn for me. I was never more glad to see the walls rising up before me.   
I had failed Sinding; I had failed to cleanse him of the beast blood.

My ire rose and I could not let it go.

Death was now my constant companion it seemed; cold, unyielding and so unfair.   
I could not shake it and in a perverse way perhaps a part of me did not want to. If that was my path then I would embrace it and use it to strengthen me.   
I would live my life to the fullest and if death came to me, whether at the end of a bandit’s blade or from the sky on wings, I would meet it head on, head held high, my sword raised and with a voice that would shake the ground. If I was to spread death, then let it be to those I judged worthy of it.

I swore that oath to the sky before I entered the gates of Whiterun.


	25. Dragon, Wolf and Farmer

After a few days, I turned my concentration towards Breezehome and settling Lydia in.  
She had since moved in with me and she was currently out at the market purchasing some fixings for dinner, again. Something different from the usual fare that I had been cooking, she had said before slipping out the door, a smile on her face.  
_Was my cooking that bad?_ _I had survived on it thus far._  
  
Our arrangement was one of two friends sharing the home and not her being my housecarl. She was, at first, unhappy with the idea, but on later reflection agreed. I was glad she had finally seen things my way as her way was driving me round the bend, at least that is how I saw it anyways. She might have had other ideas that she was not letting me in on.

“I was to be your sword and shield and protect you and all you own.” She had quipped to me, and had looked as if she was pouting.

I had smiled at her. “Fine then, you protect all I own, but I can take care of myself. Besides, if I ever do need your services, Lydia, you will be the first one I call upon, I promise.”

She had scoffed at that and muttered something incomprehensible under her breath before stomping around Breezehome for the better part of a day and night.

I could have easily told her that I would not be responsible for her blood on my hands. They were stained with enough blood as it was, but she would have protested and thrown back that she was more than capable of looking after herself. After all, she had been a guard before becoming my housecarl had she not? She had seen her share of fighting and from what I had heard; she was a formidable warrior in her own rights.

I looked out the window I sat before and felt the call of the outdoors. I wanted to travel some and on my own.

I hastily scribbled a note to Lydia, stating my intentions of heading out and a general idea of the direction I planned to take and when I might return and left it tacked on the door for her return. I knew Lydia would not be pleased in the least.  
  
~~*~~

I found myself taking the same road I had that fateful day weeks before. I passed by the fort, now home to a regiment of Imperial soldiers.  
One of the sentries raised his hand in salute to me, but I did not return it as I had no love for the damn Imperials.  
I passed by Bloated Man’s Grotto and shoved the memory of my first meeting the werewolf Sinding away.  
I did not wish to wallow in sadness today; it was too nice of a day.  
A few white wispy clouds appeared overhead, blotting out the warm yellow sun in the azure sky as I walked on in silence. The only sound was the sound from my feet on the stony road and the occasional bird that took to wing when disturbed by my presence.

The road curved around to the north and past a dragon mound that lay silent. I hoped that it would not suddenly lift from its slumber and attack. I continued on northwest, stopping to watch two elk in a small cleft of rocks near a small spring, heads down drinking contentedly. They paid no attention to me; I guess I presented no threat to them. Off to my right I could see a monument standing tall. I recalled Farkas speaking about it and took it to be Gjukar’s Monument, a nod to a battle lost so long ago.  
As I studied it for a moment, the hair on my arms stood up, a whisper of a voice inside of my head. A gust of wind had kicked up as the late afternoon sky began to descend upon me and I got the feeling that I was being followed. I turned to see who or what followed as my hand stole to the pommel of my sword. I gripped it tightly and hoped it were friend.

Descending from the sky, from out of the lowering sun, on giant wings that looked as it oil had been spilled on them, a dragon jaws opened wide, swooped down towards me.  
I was startled at his appearance and raised my sword.

He landed, sending the ground shaking and me to my knees. He studied me for a moment, head moving from side to side, blowing a wisp of white smoke. No it was not smoke, it was frost.

_I was facing a frost breathing dragon? By the gods!_

The dragon reared up on its hind quarters and opened the maw from whence an eruption of bone chilling frost was delivered, engulfing me, causing my breath to catch in my throat.  
I stumbled back on the road, desperately trying to draw in a breath, but I was cold, oh so cold. Anger welled up and I fought it the only way I knew I could. I opened my mouth and shouted at it.  
A torrent of power hit the dragon, knocking its head back before it could release another wave of frost.

The dragon screamed, lifting its great wings which sent a sudden downwards blast of wind in my direction, full of dirt and small stones as it lifted from the road to the sky. I turned away covering my face.

Keening above me, it roared, dipping down while releasing wave after wave of frost. I ran dodging it, seeking some form of cover. I spied an outcrop of rock and dove under it as the dragon descended towards me, claws outstretched and another wave of frost freezing my surroundings. Gasping for air, I stood out from under the rocks, throwing back my head and I shouted again, and again, hoping to knock it from the sky.

The dragon wavered, crashing finally to the ground, sending a shockwave of rocks, stone, dirt and vegetation into the air.

It staggered briefly for a second and I saw my opportunity.  
Quickly running towards it, I vaulted onto a nearby boulder, twisting midair and landed on the dragon’s neck. I moved forward quickly and sank my blade over and over again into its head, looking for a way to penetrate its skull.  
Blood sprayed onto my face and hands, coating me in a slick, slippery residue. I persisted as the beast reared up trying in vain to unseat me, but I would not be defeated.  
I found the spot I searched for, the base of the skull and stabbing with all my might, I succeeded in piercing the creature’s brain. With one final scream, the dragon shuddered and laid still.

I slid from its back and stood, chest heaving, wiping the gore from my face. I knew what was next and planted my feet part and leaned into it as the rush of power from the dragon poured into me, tearing at my very being until I felt light-headed and giddy. I sank to my knees, my hands on my sword as if in prayer and closed my eyes.

The distant roar of the dragons was now silent, as the soul within me, joined the others I had captured.

I stood, still shaky and moved towards the road. Darkness was upon me and I needed to either make camp or find some place for the night.

Something on the road behind me scuffled then and I turned thinking that perhaps it was the dragon skeleton settling, but it was not. No it was something that caused me to draw a sharp breath in.  
I found myself coming face to face with Aela. She stood there, her hair glowed fire red in the last of the sun as it set.

“Aela?” I moved towards her thinking she was harmed in some way.

She stood there, silent, but it was when I looked into her eyes that I knew something was far more wrong.

Her eyes rolled back in her head and that was when she began to change.   
I scanned the road to see if there was a threat that I had missed, but realized that I was the threat. I was the threat to her, I had taken probably what she had thought to be rightfully hers; the title of Harbinger. Maybe she blamed me for the death of Skjor too. She had never really spoken of his death after that fateful day.  
I returned my gaze to watch as she shifted, bones snapping, a howl escaping from her jaws. It was mesmerizing and terrifying all at the same time.  
I dare not run; there was no way to outrun the beast. She lowered her muzzle until it was close to my face. Foam dripped from the open jaws and the stench of death washed over me. Her tongue lolled forward, slobbering. I could hear a throaty growl rising in her throat. Her claws flexed and she sprang. Her weight threw me back. I skidded on the ground scraping exposed flesh against the stones. Her claws slashed at my chest as she landed on top of me.  
I reached for my sword to find it gone, knocked from its sheath. My reaction was to pull my knees up to my chest to try and protect my internal organs. She sat on me, her weight pinning me down me and her dripping mouth inches from my throat. Her claws gripped my sides and I could feel the skin ripping as she tore at me.  
  
I found my steel dagger and thrust it up into her chest hoping to injure her slightly. I was not sure if killing her would sit right with the Circle, but she was going to kill me. She lowered her head and sank her teeth into my shoulder and drew blood. I screamed in pain. I yanked the dagger out of her chest, blood sprayed across my hand. I choose another spot hoping to stop her now. I went for her eye and then her neck, slashing and hacking. She yelped in pain and tore my chest plate off. Again she sank her teeth into me, releasing a red torrent of blood that began to soak into the road.

“No!” I screamed. _Not this way. I do not want to die this way._  
  
I threw my head back and leveled a shout at her blowing her back across the road and into a low stone wall. There was the sound of bones crunching and I knew I had hurt her. I stood and gathered what strength I could and shouted again. Her head smacked into the wall, but that did not stop her. She sprang to her feet though slightly shaky and lunged forward catching my side and rolling me over into the grass behind me. Gouging with her claws she raked me across the chest ripping flesh down to bone. I yowled in pain and cursed her.  
I spied my sword lying glinting in the moonlight that now appeared over my shoulder. I scrabbled for it then ran towards her with it leveled at her chest. Sinking it into her chest I pulled it upwards in an attempt to cut her heart in half. I twisted the blade until a geyser of hot blood flooded over my hands and she fell back into the grass. Her mouth worked as she tried to growl at me, her final ragged breaths making a weird sound. I stood over her and asked her for forgiveness as I sank the blade into her heart once more. Her one eye stared up at me, still blaming me for what had happened. I kicked out at her then bent to wipe my blade and hands on the grass.

“It did not have to be this way! Why Aela? Why? Did you think I wanted this? We could have worked it out if only you had come to me! Now look what has happened! Damn you to Oblivion! Damn you!”

I collapsed in the grass beside her, my head down as I wept, hot tears ran with blood on my cheeks making I was sure an evil looking mask.

“Is it dead?”

I lifted my head, my hand on my sword.

A young man stood there, just out of boyhood.

He smiled at me and raised his hands. “Whoa, I mean you no harm.”  
  
He was a Nord and from looks of his clothing I would have guessed a farmer.  
He had red hair and was by the looks of it attempting to grow a full beard and mustache. His eyes were blue and he had a kind face.

“My name is Erik. My father, Mralki, manages Frostfruit Inn.”  
  
I nodded then began to droop to one side into the grass.  
  
“Whoa! Where are my manners? Here you are injured and I’m rattling on. Let me help you. I’ll take you to the inn and we will see about getting you fixed up.”

I drifted then, in and out of consciousness. I remember being picked me up and carried to the inn. A door being kicked open and him yelling for his father who came running.  
I was carried to a room and was tended to. I fought against it, the pain from the wounds too intense to bear, but my wounds were cleaned then a salve was spread onto the deep puncture wounds and bites. I was given a potion to drink and fell asleep.

~~*~~  
  
When I awoke in the morning, Erik, was sitting on a chair by my bedside. “My father wanted to know what you were battling. When I told him that it was a werewolf he was a little worried.”

“How…how long have I been asleep?” I asked through a parched throat.  
  
Erik helped me sit up a bit and held a cup to my lips. I drank down the sweet cool water and nodded when I was done. I grimaced in pain as I lay back on the bed and looked the boy over.

“You have been in and out of consciousness for three days now. Father said the worst is past now. You will heal, but, but the scars will be bad.”

There were deeper scars that I was afraid of never healing.

I asked Erik if he was born in Rorikstead.  
  
"Born and raised right here in Rorikstead. My father was a soldier. He fought in the great war and when it was over, he retired here to raise a family. My mother passed away when I was just a babe, so he did his best to raise me on his own. It's not the most exciting place in the world, but the people here, they work hard and they don't cause trouble for anyone."  
  
“Do you work here at the inn?”  
  
Erik shook his head looking sheepishly at me. “No, I uh, I work on the farm. For as long as I can remember our crops have always done well. I'm not sure whether it's the soil, the climate or the favor of the Divines, but we've never had a poor harvest." Erik fidgeted in his chair then leaned forward.

 “You certainly look like you've seen your share of adventure and danger. I envy you that. In fact, maybe you can help me with something, when you are stronger."  
  
I looked the boy over. “What is it that you need, Erik?”  
  
“I want to be an adventurer, like you, but my father says I can't. He says that he needs me to stay here and work the farm, and even if he did let me be an adventurer, we couldn't afford to buy armor.”  
  
I smiled faintly at Erik and thought the poor lad. _Did he really know what he would be getting himself into? After what he had witnessed on the road, did he really think it was so glamorous?_  
  
“Are you any good with a sword?” I asked shifting uncomfortably on the bed.  
  
“I practice every day with my fathers’ sword, he doesn’t know though. I think he would be upset to know that. But I can’t stand the thought of being trapped in this village for the rest of my days."  
  
“I could talk to your father, Erik, but I won’t make any promises. I think your father is protective of you and I see why. He lost his wife and I doubt he wants to lose his only son.”

I hoped that that might have discouraged him from continuing on.  
  
"I hope you can change my father's mind. He can be a little stubborn.”

Aye, who is stubborn?

~~*~~

Later that afternoon when Mralki brought in a tray of food to me I broached the subject of Erik.  
  
"That fool son of mine, Erik, wants to be an adventurer. He a good-natured lad, but he's got no idea how dangerous the world really is."  
  
I nodded. “You know he eventually has to go out into the world on his own.”  
  
“Some folk here will tell you I'm sheltering my boy too much, but I ask you, isn't it a father's duty to keep his children safe?"  
  
“Aye it is. My father kept me safe, but he also taught me to hunt, to fight and defend myself. When he died he knew that I could take care of myself…”  I was about to say my little sister too, but I had let her down.  
  
I looked at Mralki and could see the love in his eyes for his son.  
  
“If it is also an issue of money, I can easily help you there.”  
  
Mralki looked at me. I could sense that that was a big issue, but how do you speak of that to a stranger?  
  
“Think on it as an investment in your sons’ future. I would collect on it at some point.”

At that point Eric walked in. He had obviously been eavesdropping outside of the door.  
  
Mralki nodded then turned to Erik. “You will go to Whiterun with me on my next trip and we will buy armor. You owe a debt to this woman.”  
  
I smiled at Erik. “And be sure I will collect someday, but until then practice and work hard. When you are ready, you can come to Whiterun and to try out for the Companions.”


	26. Reprimanded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has been a while. The machine finally had its day and said goodbye. I did not even shed a tear for it. I hope you enjoy this chappie.

“Of all the idiotic things to do, this has to be the worst thing that you could have possibly done!” Lydia professed loudly in a motherly voice that made me take a second look at her. I didn't think she had it in her.

I sat on the edge of the bed, in Frostfruit Inn, looking between her and Farkas. Both of them were none too pleased with me at the moment; venturing off on my own and when they had heard of the attacks, well, that had made them even angrier with me.   
Eric had given them quite a look over before letting them into the room to see me. He had apparently taken it upon himself to appoint himself as my personal body guard. He only backed down when I assured him that I knew the two warriors.

“But, I thought you would have been angrier with me for killing, Aela.” I raised my eyes to Farkas who did not meet my gaze.

“The Circle will convene and it will be discussed.” He spoke softly.

_The Circle, what is left of us you mean? Vilkas, you and me now, that is it._

With Skjor, Kodlak and now Aela gone, we were a small number and seriously lacked any future candidates it seemed at the moment. Perhaps Njada, Ria, Athis and Torvar could be brought into the Circle, so could Vignar and Brill. Why not even bring Tilma in too? We were in desperate need of recruits and I guessed being the Harbinger that responsibility fell into my lap. That is if I was still thought on as Harbinger by the others.

I bit my lip looking at Farkas who seemed torn about what he wanted to say.

“Say it.”

He looked at me, one eyebrow raised.

“What?” He lowered his eyes to the floor again, his jaw twitching slightly. His breath pausing.

I shook my head. “Just say what you are thinking, Farkas. I know you have something to say so damn well say it and stop making it worse. Don’t you think I feel bad enough for what I did? I killed Aela. I did not stop until she was dead. Maybe I could have tried to reason with her, I suppose, but it is very hard, well, when she changed like that. I guess I should have had that conversation before I left instead of thinking of myself. I make a lousy Harbinger.”

I buried my face in my hands and let out a sob. I screwed up and I knew it. I had to face the consequences and I would.

“She was angry for a long time. She should have talked to us, told us what was going on. It is not your fault or hers for that. It all became so confusing after Kodlak started on the path to changing us back. I don’t even blame him. You should not have to bear this alone.” Farkas dropped a hand to my shoulder and squeezed.

Lydia wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “No and she won’t have to either. You Companions are so serious and you are downright stupid. Do you think that your little secret was a secret? A lot of people in Whiterun knew what was going on in Jorrvaskr. How could you not with all of that growling and the smell of wet dogs. Jeesh, to think I thought of joining once upon a time.”

She grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me to face her and wiped my face with a damp wash cloth from the basin on the nearby bedside table.

“I think you make a damn fine leader. You have a huge heart.”

“Oh Lydia, it isn’t about the size of my heart, it is more than that.” I spoke from behind the wash cloth as she wiped the perspiration from my face.

She nodded and looked to Farkas who lowered his body to squat in front of me.

“You know your heart is in the right place. Circumstances have just gone against you right from the start.”

Lydia nodded in agreement.

“But that still does not make me feel any better about what I did.”

I stood up and looked around the room for my armor.

“Mralki said it was pretty shredded. I guess you will have to just wear a tunic until we get back to Whiterun.”

I swallowed at the sound of that-Whiterun-home of Jorrvaskr and probably an angry Vilkas who would no doubt rip a strip off me.

~~*~~

 

“We are convening this meeting to discuss what happened, with Aela. It is unfortunate that she felt that she could not come to us and express her feelings and instead attacked our Harbinger, Phenarie. Aela was suffering from the tragic loss of Skjor and Kodlak and was not in her right mind due to the influence of the beast blood. A few of us know first-hand what that implies, but that is not an excuse. There are no valid reasons to excuse what she did. I strongly believe that Aela purposefully set out to eliminate our Harbinger in hopes perhaps that she would in turn be named Harbinger. I believe strongly that Phenarie did what she only could do and that was defend herself and to end the threat from Aela by the only means that she knew.”

Vilkas sat down and looked around at Farkas, Athis, Torvar, Ria and Njada. The latter three had been granted status as members of the Circle upon my return and at Farkas’ suggestion to his twin. Vilkas had decided that it was too important to not include them in the ongoing affairs of Jorrvaskr. Brill and Vignar sat listening as did Tilma who stood nearby, wringing a dust-rag in her hands.

Everyone was silent for a few moments, until Farkas cleared his throat and he stood.

“I too believe that Phenarie did what she had to do. I believe she should still be recognized as our Harbinger.”

Ria nodded her head, she may have not previously been a member of the Circle, but now being named a Companion, to be a part of it, she now understood all that had happened.

“I second that.” She spoke from her seat beside Torvar.

Torvar and Athis nodded their heads in agreement. “Here, here.”

Njada stood up and looked between Farkas and Vilkas. Her eyes narrowed and one side of her mouth drew up into a half smile. Her eyes focused on me.

“I think that she is getting off too easy.” She wheeled around and stormed towards the rear doors of Jorrvaskr. She paused at the doors leading to the training yard. “Aela was grieving and no one gave a damn about her. Did she deserve to die? I don’t think so,” she stopped for a moment and turned her head over her shoulder towards us, “but she did not have to attack Phenarie either.”

Njada opened the door and stepped outside into the night air.

Vilkas watched the door close behind her and then he nodded to Athis to go speak to her. He needed everyone’s input on this before we decided on anything.

I stood up and cleared my throat. “I am sorry for what I did. If I could change it I would, but then I would not be sitting here with you. Aela was angry with me from the minute Kodlak informed me that I was to be Harbinger. But before that she was angry with me when we found Skjor’s body in Gallows Rock. That was of his own doing, and of hers too. They were not in line with Kodlak’s thinking on curing himself of the beast blood. They pursued the Silver Hand and ultimately dragged me into it and in turn set in motion the events that caused the death of Kodlak and themselves. I cleansed myself of the beast, as did Vilkas and Farkas and Kodlak, but Aela, she would not and if Skjor had been alive, he would not have either. I know what it does to you; the rage that builds up inside of you, the longings that you feel, the often inability to control the change, the damage that you have to live with, that you cannot live with. I tried to assist another, in cleansing himself of the impurity, only to witness his death because of a daedra that enjoys playing with our lives. I do not blame Aela herself. I blame the beast blood. I blame Hircine.”

Njada and Athis had returned while I was speaking and Njada nodded in my direction.

“What you say is true and we all know that and we still did nothing to stop it. If anyone is guilty of anything, we all are guilty. I think that there should not be a Circle, a Harbinger or even the Companions. Our name does not mean what it once did. We have lost our way and we do not deserve to honor Ysgramor. If Kodlak were here he would understand.”

Silence hung in the room, a thick veil that choked everyone. Eyes were kept to the ground and no one spoke for a long time.

“If that is the general consensus, then perhaps we should disband the Companions eh?”

Vilkas stood, he stared at Njada and for a second I saw her tremble under the weight of his stare.

I hesitated for a second then I stood. “I think we could rebuild ourselves, into something better.” I looked from Vilkas to Njada then around at the rest of the company.

“And what do you have in mind exactly?” Torvar asked hesitantly.

I shook my head. “I am not sure as of yet, but we should think on this seriously before disbanding. I mean, there is a history and I think we should live up to it, not just throw it away. You have to learn from your mistakes, you cannot give up and run away with your tail, so to speak, between your legs. I for one will not give up.”

Farkas came to stand beside me. “I agree with Phenarie. We rebuild the Companions into something with honor.”

Vilkas nodded. Njada folded her arms across her chest and stared at me.

“If we did, rebuild the Companions, who would lead us?”

I knew what she was getting at. She didn’t think I was a good enough leader and to be truthful with myself, I did not want the title. I wanted to distance myself from that as far as I possibly could. But who would take the title? I knew who I would choose.

“What about me?” Athis stood and stretched. “Why can’t I be the Harbinger? I always thought I would be a good choice.”

Torvar pulled on Athis’ arm. “I don’t think so, my friend.”

Athis snorted. “Didn’t think you would.” Athis sat down.

I opened my mouth to make my suggestion and on second thought closed it as Farkas leaned towards me.

“You sure you don’t want to be Harbinger? What would Kodlak say?”

I shook my head. I did not know, but he was lone gone and had left me to deal with this rabble that now had become a storm. There was great turmoil inside of me and it would take a strong hand to calm it. I wanted to it to be over and done with.

“I suggest Vilkas take leadership of the Companions. He has been dolling out the jobs for a long time and he is well respected by most outside of Jorrvaskr. Kodlak thought he to be a fine warrior, but ruled by his beast blood, which he is now cured of. I am sure he could guide us to a better standing, if given the opportunity.” I looked towards Vilkas to see what his reaction was to my words and he dipped his head in acknowledgement.

Farkas grimaced, but then nodded his head. Njada smiled as did Ria. Torvar and Athis nodded too.

“So, it is settled. I, Phenarie, do hereby name, Vilkas, as Harbinger of the Companions of Jorrvaskr. May he lead us well.”

“May he lead us well.” Was repeated by the others present.

I sighed, feeling a great weight lifting off of my shoulders.

Everyone stood and drifted off, talking in hushed tones. Vilkas stood by my side and laid one hand on my arm.

“What will you do now? Surely you will stay with us as a member of the Companions or are you not wanting that either.”

I studied his weary face and smiled. “I will remain a member, if you will have me, but I have other paths that I wish to follow, Harbinger.”

He half smiled at me before removing his hand from my arm. “I, I would miss you if you were not a part of us.”

I blinked twice rapidly. “I, uh, I would miss all of you too.”

_Oh gods what was he saying?_

He smiled a full smile this time. “You will remain as a member then and will you remain in your home?”

“You mean Breezehome? Yes, I will. I won’t move back in here if that is what you are asking, Vilkas. As I said I have others paths that I am going to travel, but I will remain a Companion.”

He nodded before striding off towards the stairs to the lower level of Jorrvaskr.

“What did he say to you?”

My thoughts were interrupted by Farkas who stood very close to me. His face was drawn into a snarl.

I raised one eyebrow and shook my head at him. “What is your problem? He wanted to know if I was remaining as a Companion. Are you jealous or something?”

The last part of that sentence slipped out before I could stop myself. I could see by Farkas’ face that maybe in some way he was jealous. Why he was I could not understand. I had never given him the reason to be. I had no interest in Vilkas or Farkas for that fact. No, there was someone else who I was interested in. I was just not sure if he was interested in me.

“If I was jealous of him, you would know because I would have told you how I felt about you.”

He stood there with his eyes full and round, innocent like a child’s. I had hurt his feelings, feelings that he obviously had for me; feelings that would never be reciprocated. He was my Shield Brother, and my best friend. I took one of his hands in mine and smiled.

“You will always be my best friend, which is all I can offer to you, Farkas. I think of you as the brother I never had. If I gave you any other reason to think otherwise, I am truly sorry.”

He pulled me into a bear hug, squeezing the air from my lungs. I yelped in pain from the deeper wounds that were still healing.

“Sorry Phen, I love you like a sister too. I’m just protective of you.”

“Okay, just let me go now before you break something, alright?”

I stepped back and smiled while wondering why he thought I needed protection from his brother.


	27. Second Meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I was feeling guilty at not posting, so here you go. Your welcome. Now I will go have a cuppa.

 I left, again, once I was healed. This time I knew exactly to where I was headed and to who I was seeking. I left soon after talking to  Farkas and Vilkas, who were not in the least happy that I was going on my own again. I convinced them that I would take the horse cart, this time, and keep to the main roads should I dare travel on foot. Farkas wanted to accompany me, but I did not want a chaperone. He was extremely quiet when I was leaving, not even offering a goodbye to me. He would have to understand that sometimes I had to do things on my own, hopefully this time without incident.

As I travelled the road, watching the scenery from the back of the horse cart, I thought of my sister and my family. I thought of all that had happened recently. I then thought of Ralof and of his blue eyes and his kind voice and I wanted to see him.

As I made my way in the direction of Windhelm I hoped to find my blonde Nord well and happy to see me.

 

~~*~~

 

Windhelm stood before me, dark and dismal looking; cold and heavily covered in snow and ice. Large white flakes fell from the overcast sky on my head as I stood at the entrance to the city of kings. The wind howled, sounding more like the wolves that I knew all too well. By no means was this place a welcoming sight. I did not care at the moment, I was sore from the ride and frozen to the core.

I pushed through the great doors and I found the inn-Candlehearth Hall ahead of me. I requested a room, a hot meal, a bath and something warm to drink.

The proprietor of the establishment took pity on me and showed me to a room then ushered me inside. She remarked on my luck, that there was a fresh pot of stew simmering and some still warm loaves of bread available. A tub was produced and filled with hot water and herbs to soak away my aches and pains.

She handed me a steaming flagon of honey ale and then brought my food to the room. Inquiring if I needed anything else, I told her no and I thanked her profusely as I sank into the tub, flagon in hand and leaned back against the wall of the tub, closing my eyes.

I could hear the strains of music from a lute on the second floor above me and then a lilting voice, singing the lament of some love that was lost due to the war. I instantly thought of Ralof and hoped him to be alive and not a casualty of the war between the Stormcloaks and the Imperials.

I leaned back against the tub, sipping the warm honey ale, relishing the heat of the water against my skin and the scent of the herb infused water. Somehow, I managed to slip into sleep.

 When I awoke I was still in the tub; the water now gone cold. I stood, wrapping a towel around my body and stepped from the tub. I donned a clean linen tunic and crawled into bed and slept soundly until late morning.

~~*~~

The inn was quiet at the hour I awoke and I found the proprietor, Elda Early-Dawn behind the counter going over the daily ledger. She inquired as to how my night was. I told her in truth it had been fine. I inquired if the room could still be rented for another day and she informed me it could. I paid the fee for it and then ventured out into the cold streets of Windhelm in search of any news regarding my blue-eyed soldier.

~~*~~

I found myself standing at the rather large doors of The Palace of the Kings. Feeling very small and very insignificant in their presence. I hesitated as to whether or not I should inquire within, but I decided it was probably the best place to start.

Entering the great hall, I felt even smaller as I wandered to the far end of the great room, past a long table set with dishes of food and drink. I found the throne empty, but a familiar voice drifted its way towards me. I turned to see a man approaching from my left; I immediately recognized from Helgen-Ulfric Stormcloak.

He stopped in his tracks watching my face and as he did the man behind him, approached me quickly, hand on weapon. Ulfric laid a hand on the man’s shoulder and stepped closer, peering at me.

"Only the foolish or the courageous dare approach a Jarl without summons... tell me girl, do I know you?"

“Have you forgotten me? We have met before, Jarl Ulfric.”

"Is that so...?” He studied me for a few moments then nodded. “Ah yes, you were with us at Helgen. You were destined for the chopping block if I'm not mistaken."

“Aye, I was, but not for any crimes other than being in the wrong place at the wrong time, according to the Imperials who caught me and my sister.”

Ulfric shifted in front of me and scowled.

“I do not remember you being with anyone when we met in the cart. What happened to your sister?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat, tears coming to my eyes.

“She was murdered by them. I found her body after we had been separated, down in a gulley, laying in her own filth and blood, an arrow through her neck.”

The man behind Ulfric stepped forward, watching my face.

“They are all too young to die. If what you say is true, then you should hate the Imperials for that reason alone.”

I bit my lip.

“Oh I do. I hate them. But that it is not the reason that brings me to you. I come in search of a soldier-one who saved my life. I am looking for Ralof of Riverwood. Can you tell me where he is?”

Ulfric moved towards his throne and sat upon it, lounging back. His hand came up to his chin and he stared at me, a small smile crossing his face.

“And why is it that you are seeking, Ralof?”

I turned to him.

“That is my business and mine alone.”

Ulfric turned to the other man and cocked his head in my direction.

“She is full of fire to speak to a Jarl in such a manner. Perhaps ill-mannered or full of such fire she is not afraid of anyone or anything. She did survive Helgen and the onslaught of a dragon. Do you not think she would make a good soldier, Galmar?”

Galmar laughed. “I would break her of that.” He turned to face me. “You speak to Jarl Ulfric Stormcloak, I suggest you remember that.”

I smiled as I jutted out my chin. “I am not afraid of him or you for that fact. I have stood against not only the dragon at Helgen but others. My only fear is of what would happen should you provoke me. I am not threatening you, my Jarl, only telling you how it is. I have seen much in my short time in Skyrim. I will not be treated as a simple woman who does not know her place. Respect is earned, not given freely, even when that person holds a title.”

Ulfric laughed a deep rich baritone sound that filled the room that we stood in.

“I like you, pray tell me what is it your name? Helene of Shornhelm I believe you said at Helgen, but that is not your true name, is it now.”

I blushed.

“A name I gave to protect my identity. It is Phenarie, Phenarie Gemain. My father was half Breton and Nord and my mother was half Breton and Redguard. My parents were merchants who travelled with a band of Khajiit selling wares that my father made until the war. He joined with my brothers and they were killed in action. We, my sister and I, lived in Shornhelm for some time until my mother died, most likely of a broken heart. We travelled around, with the Khajiit after that for a while, before I decided it was no life for my little sister, Phreya. We were on our way to a distant relative of my mother’s in Solitude when we caught by the Imperials and chased. As I said she died by their hand.”

Ulfric studied me and I wondered what he was thinking.

“And you met Ralof and fell for him did you not?”

I clearly did not know what to say.

“Ralof is fighting Imperials, something that if _you_ are interested in, you could do also. Join my army and fight the Imperials that slaughtered your family leaving you alone in this world. Fight the injustice of families being torn apart such as yours. I beseech of you, Phenarie. What say you?”


	28. A New Path

 

I stood, surrounded by men and women of various ages, all here for the same reason-to fight the Imperials. I clutched my weapon in my hand, wondering if I had made the right decision. It was not my intent that day, now some time ago when I stepped through the doors, of The Palace of the Kings, to join Ulfric’s forces, but somehow, he had convinced me.

I cursed him silently under my breath as we marched on of all places, Whiterun.

I scanned the horizon ahead of me, keeping eyes focused on the man in front of me. Tall and burly with a long flowing dark beard and matching dark eyes. He did not speak in any tone other than shouting. I was surprised his throat was not damaged from all the shouting he did. He was in charge and made sure everyone knew that fact which he pointed out every hour or less and, he did not like me, at all. That was fine by me; the feeling was mutual. I could not please him no matter how I tried. Why I even made the attempt I could not fathom. No one could please him it seemed no matter hard they tried either. I wondered if I should shout him out of the way and let the little woman who was second in command take leadership of us. She was far more patient and certainly had her head on her shoulders. She thought of us a team, a group, a single functioning unit that when prodded gently in the right direction would deliver what was expected of us. The question was could we deliver what was expected of us?

It was not the fact that we had not trained long and hard, enduring late hours, sleepless nights, poor rations and freezing temperatures. It was how can you expect a group of farmers and misfits to perform well if all you ever are is berated and shouted and cursed at? It does nothing for the moral of the man or woman. It is like how you train a dog-with patience and a reward. You get more out of someone if you just finagle them in the right direction.

Our commanding officer stopped and surveyed the area in front of us. He turned to the second in command and shouted a few orders at her. She dipped her head in acknowledgement then walked to our courier and gave him instructions. As if he had not heard them. We all heard them.

“I want camp set up before the real soldiers arrive and I want it done now!” yelled the commander.

I hoped our commanding officer would choke on his meal.  
_Gods forgive me for being so mean. And if he didn’t choke on his food, I was sure I could assist him that way._

I dropped my pack to the ground and slumped on top of it. Sore and tired from our travelling.

I groaned, standing up and sorting the packs that lay around me. There would be time later to rest, hopefully. Tents began to be set up, the fire roaring and a bubbling pot of food cooking above it and in an hour we were a fully functioning camp.

“Not fast enough you bunch of louts. Half rations for the duration of your stay!”

There was an audible groan from the rest of my comrades. _Aye, choking him it would be and not soon enough._

“Now is that any way to treat the men and woman under our command? I do not think so. Does Ulfric know of this?”

My head lifted at the sound of the voice. I would recognize it anywhere-Ralof. _My soldier come to find me?_

I reigned in my excitement as he passed by me to come to stand behind the commander.

“I will treat those as how I see fit. Who in the Oblivion are you?” Our commanding officer asked as he wheeled around to face Ralof.

The commander towered over Ralof by a good few inches, but Ralof stood, relaxed, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

“It does not matter who he is. You should remember it was not so long ago that you were in their shoes.”

I knew that voice too from my introduction to him at Windhelm and after as he oversaw my training. It was Galmar. He strode past me, nodding in my direction. I saluted him with my hand over my chest and dipping my head.

He returned the gesture.

“Take yourself and get to the front man, I have no further use of you here.” He stood toe to toe with the commanding officer who suddenly did not seem so tall and burly anymore but rather small and broken.

“I’m here now and I will deal with this rag tag group that you think are not real soldiers. Now go before I return you to Windhelm with the toe of my boot.”

Ralof stopped a few feet from me and broke into a smile. He stood not moving as Galmar came forward.

“Some men think that by brute behavior they can command. A steady hand and respect is what is needed, so I was told by someone not long ago.”

I smiled at Galmar knowing that those were my words once spoken to him.

~~*~~

“What are you doing here? You decided to take me up on my offer and join the Stormcloaks?” Ralof could not contain his excitement at seeing me in uniform. I shifted over on the log I was sitting on to make room for him to sit beside me.

“I came looking for you in Windhelm and well, let us just say that Ulfric is a very charismatic man when he gets talking to you. Before I knew it Galmar was drilling me on how to use a sword.”

Ralof threw his head back and laughed. “I find that funny knowing you know what end to stick into someone.”

I blushed and smiled, dropping my eyes to the ground. “It is good to see you, Ralof.”

“Hmm, very good indeed for me.” Ralof added, his grin broadening.

~~*~~

The assault on Whiterun was devastating to me and to those that inhabited the city. Severio Pelagia was wounded and later succumbed to his injuries. It was very unfortunate for the man had been considered a friend. On a bright note if any could be found in the deeds of war, he had willed the farm to Carlotta Valentia and her daughter, Mila.

The Companions had barred the way to Jorrvaskr, not taking sides; though I did catch a glimpse of Vilkas, watching from door before he closed it, not looking impressed at seeing me in the uniform of the Stormcloaks.

The rest of the citizens eventually came out from behind their closed doors to inspect the damage done to their city, mourn their losses, bury the dead and I made sure that Galmar promised to lend some men to assist where needed. It was my home after all and I would not forsake it, even for Ulfric Stormcloak.

Soon it would time to be moving onto the next campaign and a part of me wanted to stay behind and help pick up the pieces, but I had taken an oath and that would, I find unbeknownst to me, become an issue further down the road.

~~*~~

The campaign took us to various forts throughout Skyrim, our fight against the Imperials becoming harder as they were better supplied and had larger forces on their side. But what they did not know, nor did I at the time, that the Stormcloaks had an advantage. Me.

It was not until just after our victory at Fort Snowhawk, did I discover my true purpose. Rumors of my ability had spread through the ranks and when we happened upon a dragon and I had successfully downed it and had taken its soul, did Galmar personally approach me and put forth the suggestion that since I was Dragonborn, I should use the Thu’um as Ulfric had done to secure our wins.

I was aghast with trepidation at his suggestion. To shout at a dragon was one thing, but to use it to shatter our enemies was another. That type of power would destroy what was the human body and it was a sight I did not wish to see. I would not allow myself to be used as a pawn by him, Ulfric or the entire legions of men and women willing to sacrifice everything to see Skyrim a free country. Galmar then mentioned the Thalmor and suggested that I might be a powerful weapon if they so chose to capture me and use me against Ulfric.

Later, I sat in my tent on my bedroll, his words ringing in my ears and I made my decision; it was time to leave.

I would wait until nightfall and make my escape. To where I would go I was not sure, but I needed to put as much distance between me and this manically idealistic world that Ulfric intended to create, whether or not it was good for everyone involved.

~~*~~

Slipping past the guards was easy, losing Ralof, was not.

He followed me at some distance, watching with interest to see where I was headed. I doubted he thought that I had turned against the Stormcloaks, but still he was not leaving my tail.

I rounded a grove of thick trees and disappeared down an embankment, lying as still as possible amongst the roots of the plants that clung to the edge above me.

A familiar voice drifted down to me.

“I see you, Phenarie. Did you think you could lose me that easily? Tell me why are you running?”

I stood up and glanced up at him. “Go back Ralof, you need not concern yourself with me. I am not a spy for the Imperials. You should know that, but I will not be a pawn for you, Galmar or Ulfric and this damn war. That is not what I want.”

He jumped down beside me and smiled. “What is it that you want?”

I lunged forward, knocking him back against the bank, my mouth seeking his and I kissed him for all I was worth. His arms wrapped around my waist as he kissed me back, his lips soft and tender against mine. I groaned with lust and wanted to consume him, all of him. He gently detached himself from me and smiled broadly as he sat back.

“Any other time and I might have taken you up on your generous offer, but I still want to know what it is that you want.”

I stood up and moved down to the hard baked shore and tossed a few stones into the current of the river before me. I watched as the water swirled around the larger stones in the river and I felt like those stones; standing still in a current that threatened to shove me to a destination that I did not want to head into.

I sank to the ground and played with the stone in my hand.

Ralof stood after moment longer before squatting down beside me.

“It has been a long journey for you from what you have told me, Phenarie, and I do not blame you for running. You have been thrust into a war outside of yourself and you battle a larger one inside. I do not envy you with the power that you hold and I agree that it should not be used by anyone except yourself at your discretion. If I were to tell you that, would you reconsider staying?”

I nodded, knowing full well that I would still be pushed and cajoled into using the Thu’um to do the bidding of those that I served now. Served now-an uncomfortable and not so desirable situation; I would no sooner serve them now that I knew the true purpose of my enrolment into the ranks of the Stormcloaks.

“Where will you go?”

“I am not sure, but wherever that is, you must know that you will…” I hesitated, dare I say the words? Dare I tell Ralof how I felt about him? And if he returned to Galmar without me, what then? What would happen to my blue eyed soldier?

“Come with me then, Ralof. Come with me and help me discover who I am supposed to be.” He wrapped his arms around me and held me safe, shielding me from the world for a few moments. He sat back and tilted my chin up, staring into the depths of my eyes. I could see my reflection in his eyes and there too, I saw his answer.

I stood, smoothing my hair; I scrubbed at the lone tear that had escaped.

My voice wavered. “So, it is goodbye then.”

He stood, encircling me in his arms again and he kissed me, his tongue sweeping over mine, his hands gripping me as if he was willing me to change my mind, but I would not; not even for him.


	29. Wandering

I found myself wandering amiably from one small town to the next; not willing to stay too long, lest I become heavily invested in those whose lives I touched. I could not afford to let myself become attached-to anyone or anything.  
It was a lonely existence that I had chosen for myself and it was the one thing that I felt I had control over. Life had dragged me unwillingly into a direction that I could never have foreseen. If I had, I would have surely run in the opposite direction screaming at it to leave me. But, I could not do that could I? No, no matter how much I tried to hide, to bury away what it was that I was discovering about myself, it rose its’ head and stared squarely into the depths of my soul and continuously nudged me in the direction that I had to follow. Had to follow - no choices, just accept what had been chosen for me by the divines with no whining, no nothing from me. Just do it. And so after much crying and sobbing and feeling sorry for myself - which I was very good at doing - I pulled up my boot straps, bit my bottom lip and headed to the one place that hopefully would afford me some answers and perhaps, if I was lucky and very, very patient, I would find some peace.

 

The climb up the mountain in the freezing cold temperatures was enough to kill me. Seven thousand steps, two ice wraiths, four ice wolves, one crazed pilgrim and one new pair of boots, I finally, though severally exhausted and frozen, stood at the immense doors of High Hrothgar. My hands trembled severely. Whether it was from the biting cold wind that tugged furiously at my thin fur cloak or whether it was in fear of the unknown, I was not sure. Either way I was going to enter and I was going to face my demons and settle the burning question.

Shoving the doors open that were lighter than expected, I peered into the smoke filled dimly lit chamber and nervously called out.

“I come in peace.”

_Wow, way to go Phenarie, now they will think you are a complete and utter idiot._

I moved forward cautiously, waiting to either be attacked or pounced on or whatever these inhabitants would do to some person who comes barging into their residence.

A scraping noise ahead of me alerted me to the fact that I was no longer alone and I watched as the shadows grew tall around me and the light from a candle grew in brightness.

“Ah, and at this point a visitor arrives. What have you come seeking?”

The man to whom the voice belonged wore long flowing dark grey robes; his face obscured in the depths of his hood. He stood not too far from me and held the candle up so I could not see his face even if I tried. I wondered if a game was being played and if I were in the presence of those that resided here, or was this someone else?

“I have come to seek an audience with the Greybeards. I have questions. The first of which is, who are you?”

I heard the sound of breath being drawn in and then released in a sigh. Someone else approached me from my right out from the darkness.

“I am Master Arngeir. And you, you are a Dragonborn.”

I was slightly shocked, but then as it wore off I realized that they had called for the Dovakiin that day when I had slain Mirmulnir near Whiterun and was told that very thing.

“I am answering your summons, Master. I am sorry that it has taken me this long. I did not want to accept this…”

“First you must prove that you are Dovakiin. Lend us a taste of your voice, the Thu’um so that we may judge for ourselves if that that you say is so is so.”

I looked at the elderly man as he stepped forward into the light and he lowered his hood so I could see his face. It was a kind face, heavily lined with age and knowledge and his eyes, his eyes were full of wonder at my appearance but they were kind too. There was an underlying fierceness that I could see and I knew that I did not want to force their anger or vengeance upon myself if I were to misstep in their presence. I was humbled to stand before them and I bowed my head in reverence.

“Come, let us taste of your Thu’um so we may truly decide if you are the Dovakiin.”

Two more Greybeards arrived and they stood around me. I cleared my throat and closed my eyes, summoning the voice within. I released it and watched as some pots on the floor flew and crashed into the stone wall behind Master Arngeir.

There was silence as the four men looked towards each other and no words were passed amongst them. Master Arngeir nodded and turned to face me as he folded his hands into the depths of robes.

“Welcome, Dovakiin, welcome.”

~~*~~

The days slipped by and blurred into one, as I studied with the Greybeards, high above on the mountain, while the world continued on down below without me. I was counselled and taught what they felt I needed to know at a pace that was not overwhelming. I was cautioned in regards to the fact that the Thu’um must be used as what it was meant for and not what others desired it to be. Slowly and surely, I came to find an inner peace with the dragon within and understood that it was what caused the imbalance that created such flurry of emotion. A mortal with the soul of a dragon. A mix that otherwise would not be able to exist. But here, I did exist and I would survive.

It was perhaps a month after I had studied with Master Borri and Master Einarth, that Master Wulfgar came to me and motioned for him to follow. I obeyed and walked silently behind softly with soft footfalls. I was led to where Master Arngeir was sitting, a small nook with a table laid with some food and drink for two. I bowed to Master Wulfgar before he left and took the chair that Master Arngeir pointed to.

“I have called you here, as I think it is time for you to leave.”

I spluttered and coughed on the wine that I had taken a sip of.

“Master, surely I have done nothing to offend you or the others.”

Master Arngeir stood, his hands disappearing into his robes. I wondered what all he could conceal within those robes. He stared out of the small window, then turned to face me.

“Your teachings have concluded and I feel you are now ready for a test, if it be so called that. You are to go to Ustengrav and retrieve the horn of our founder, Jurgen Windcaller. It lays entombed there. Be wary, the way will be no doubt filled with some peril and you must decide how you will react to the perceived threats. Do this and you truly will be recognized as Dovakiin.”

I stood, and bowed my head. “I will not fail you, Master.”


	30. An Empty Hand

I sank behind the fallen log just as the mage cast the ice spear in the direction of the bandit with the war axe. He went to his knees with a humph and lowered his head to his chest. Rising, on unsteady feet, he charged forward, his axe at the ready to cleave the head from the mages’ shoulders, but she was faster than he and this time, she sent an ice spike into his heart. The bandit, gasped in shock, then collapsed forward and lay still. I raised one eyebrow and glanced over at the other bandits that lay in the same prone position. Nine of them in total had attacked her and she had taken them down with her magic. She obviously was no low level mage and I was hesitant to stand against her.

While I was musing to myself, I failed to notice that she was now directly in front of me. I looked up, startled into a set of deep green eyes and she smiled at me, whilst she held a ball of energy in her hands.

“Now, what do I have here? A small rat who has come to steal my possessions. Your friends are all dead, and now you will join them.”

I stood up quickly, holding my hands out in front of me.

“Whoa now, I was not with them. I am on my own. I am not here for you, or your possessions. I could care the least for that. I am here for something else.”

_Could you be even more than an idiot than you are now, Phenarie? You tell her you are alone and seeking something. How do you not know that once she knows of what you are seeking that she won’t claim it for herself?_

The mage blinked at my words then she laughed.

“You are a strange one. If you are not here for my possessions, then what are you here for?”

I pointed to the barrow behind her.

“I was sent here by the Greybeards to fetch…to fetch something for them.”

She turned and looked at the barrow for a moment then returned to face me.

“The Greybeards, hmm. Well, you won’t find anything in there, except draugr, a few spiders and maybe a few coin.”

I coughed. “There was nothing else? I was seeking a horn.”

The mage shook her head.

“Someone else had been here before I arrived. They had cleared some of the draugr out and had set off the odd trap. I did not venture any further as I was drained of my reserves fighting a bandit I encountered and then a few of the draugr.”

“Were there any walls that acted funny?” I inquired sheepishly.

 

The mage stepped back, crossing her arms over her chest. “How so?”

 

I shook my head. “I thought perhaps it might have done something strange, like glow or speak.”

The mage threw her head back and laughed. “You are a strange one aren’t you. You, I like. No, I did not see any walls that acted funny or strange, just plenty of draugr.”

I smiled weakly and shrugged. “I’m going in to have a look for myself.”

“Go ahead. I’m heading home.”

I bid the mage farewell as I started up the side of the barrow to the top of the steps and descended to the bottom.

~~*~~

 _Draugr-don’t you just abhor them? With their jerky movements, their aroma of death, their decaying skin sloughing from their bodies and their apparent distaste for your presence. I could do without them and their over eagerness to rid me of my presence._ But I continued on, disregarding their eager attempts at severing my limbs or head from my body. Now the traps that I encountered, well, whoever had designed them was a genius and could only be counted as an individual with a deep dark penchant for things to burn. A few skeletons rushed towards me and shot their arrows in my direction; one was lucky enough to catch my shoulder, but the wound was only superficial and not life threatening. I ensured that he would no longer raise his bony arm to me again as I scattered his form across the stone floor.

The sound of water ahead alerted me to a waterfall nearby and I stopped when I discovered that a word wall stood as a sentinel overseeing the murky pool before it.

As I approached the wall, the lights and sound washed over me and I accepted the fury of power entrenched within the black stone.

Stumbling back, I sank to my knees and wiped my brow. In my mind I could hear the voices of a thousand dragons, as they called to me. I could feel the wind on my face as I flew with them, high above the tall mountains of Skyrim. It was serene and I relished in the moment before it would pass. The sounds and feelings dimmed and I returned to where I was. A little drained but otherwise feeling no ill effects this time.

Moving onward, I discovered a puzzle to be solved and with a few attempts, I managed to open the gates that barred my continuance.

Judging by what lay behind waiting for me, I wondered how the trespasser before me had managed to escape unscathed. They must have been a formidable creature and I pondered what the outcome would be if we crossed paths.

Past several spiders I ran, with their venom dripping from mandibles and their front limbs stretching out to ensnare me. I was not to be a victim of their treachery and as I ran, I heard their screams of agony as they were roasted by the fire traps.

Finally, I reached what I hoped to be the last chamber and as I entered the room, the walls shook and the floor heaved, displacing the water that lay upon it. From under the water great statues rose from the floor and righted themselves lining a pathway over to a coffin resting on a dais.

Checking to see if there were any enemies, I cautiously advanced towards the coffin, my eyes noticing something pale in the outstretched hand that stood on top of the sarcophagus. It was a rolled parchment and as I took the paper, I looked around for the horn. Unable to find it, I unrolled the parchment and read what was written.

My teeth clicked together sharply.

Was this some further test by the Greybeards or did someone find this an amusing plan?

Riverwood eh? Time to pay a visit to a place I knew well and to time to find the person or persons responsible for this act.

~~*~~

“Come on, I just put out a fresh batch of stew and the bread just came out of the oven. I got a shipment of ale and one of mead.”

Orgnar stood behind the counter, his usual position and Sven was about to strike up a song. I shot him a look and he sat down, his head dropping down. I was in no mood for his rendition of Ragnar the Red.

I strode to the counter, looking around for Delphine the owner of the Sleeping Giant Inn.

“She’s occupied at the moment, Phenarie, is there something I can do for you?”

I looked at Orgnar and shook my head. Then I changed my mind. Barkeeps often knew more than anyone else. Their ears were probably the best.

“I’m looking to rent the attic room for the night. Is it available?”

Orgnar stepped back from the counter, the cloth in his hand, hanging down, his eyes moved towards Delphine’s room as she appeared at the door.

“We don’t have an attic room, but I can rent you another room if that is fine by you.”

I smirked. “Sure, I’ll take it. And I’ll take a bowl of stew and a mead.”

I paid Orgnar for the food and room and followed Delphine as she showed me to the room.

“If you need anything else, let me know.”

Orgnar delivered the food and mead to me and smiled.

“It’s good to see you, Phenarie. Have you seen Ralof of late?”

I bit back the emotion of hearing his name and shook my head. I picked up the spoon and began to eat and Orgnar left me in peace.

As I sat eating and waiting I could hear Sven playing his lute. A few more travelers entered the inn and I started to relax.

A knock came to my door and Delphine poked her head around the door.

“Can I enter?”

I nodded and motioned for her to sit on the second chair. She declined my offer and stood looking pensive.

“I believe you were looking for this.”

From the folds of her dress, she withdrew a horn and handed it over to me.

_What was it with the folds of peoples’ garments? I seriously needed to get myself some clothing with folds, so I could hide things within the depths of those folds._

I studied it then stared into her face, awaiting an explanation.

“So, you are Dragonborn.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, suspicion growing by leaps and bounds.

I didn’t trust this woman, there was something sneaky about her.

“And if I am, what is that to you? Why all the cloak and dagger, Delphine? What was it that you hoped to accomplish by stealing the horn and leaving the cryptic message to come here? What do you want?” I watched her closely.

Delphine shifted her weight from one foot to the other and fidgeted as she looked over her shoulder. “Come with me, there are too many ears here.”

I stood following the short Breton woman across the inn to her room. She told me to shut the door behind me and I did. My interest was peeking as to what she was on about.

She moved to the wardrobe in the corner of the room and opened it, then fiddled with a hidden switch and the back of the wardrobe opened revealing a flight of stairs leading down to a cellar.

_I was right, she was full of sneakiness. What else was she hiding?_

Delphine moved ahead of me down the stairs and waited at the bottom for me.

I descended, my hand on the hilt of my sword.

“If you think it a trap, then why follow? I wish only to speak to you in private.”

My eyes darted around the room, assessing whether there were any threats and I relaxed sensing none.

“Speak.” I stated bluntly to Delphine.

She stood behind a table, covered in a map and a book and few trinkets.

The story began and I listened, doubting some of the things she told me. The Thalmor? Them causing the rising of the dragons? My purpose in this? She laid it all out for me and when she was done, she stood back watching my face for a reaction.

I pondered what she said and went to sit in the corner.

“You want me to slay a dragon to prove to you that I am the Dragonborn. Who do you think you are and why is this so much a concern of yours? You are hiding something, Delphine. Out with it.”

“All in good time. Prove to me you are Dragonborn and I promise I will answer all of your questions. No holding anything back. Will you come with me to Kynesgrove?”

I sighed heavily and rose to my feet.

Perhaps I should entertain her query and find out what else it was that she was keeping from me. If she proved to be a threat, well then I was sure I could take care of her – not that I liked going around killing everyone. But there was something going on with her and I was curious. Whether or not that was a good thing would remain to be seen. All I could hope for was hopefully I would find some answers.

“When do we leave?”


	31. Rise and Meet Your Fate

We traveled in silence. I ran on at her side, occasionally glancing over at the older woman. I did not fully trust her and I was sure she felt the same about me.

We approached Kynesgrove and was greeted by a woman rushing in our direction with eyes wide, pale faced. She paused momentarily to inform us of what she was running from. 

“A dragon! A big black brute of a thing, it flew over the inn. Run for your lives you fools!”

She continued on, running quickly towards the river away from Kynesgrove, towards the river and where the old mill stood vacant.

Delphine eyes sparkled. “Now to see this up close and to see if you truly are the Dragonborn of tales of old.”

I grimaced. Please, not that black bugger again. Him and I had met previously and I was not in a hurry to meet him any time soon.

We rounded the inn and followed the path that lead up a hill to a burial mound. A dragon burial mound and hovering above it was the black dragon.  
If he saw our arrival, he took no notice of Delphine and me as we slid in behind a large boulder, he was focused on the task at hand.  
He opened his immense jaws and what looked to be a wave of energy sank into the mound. The air was then laden with a foul stench of death, stronger than I had ever endured before. A feeling of electricity, experienced during only the worst of lightning storms, clung like a second skin to mine. My hair lifted from my neck as the wind rose and strove to lash out at all that were near. From beneath the mound, a muffled roar could be heard and the ground shook and heaved, splitting open easily as if it were an overripe fruit and from within the skeletal remains of a dragon crawled forth.

My mouth opened but I was too astonished to see such a sight. Peering over at Delphine I saw that she too was dumbfounded by what was happening.

My eyes shifted back to the scene that was unfolding. The black dragon, hanging in the air above the unearthed remains, spoke and before me, the bones quivered and began to shake. I watched in awe and in some small way reverence as the form changed into that of a fully formed dragon.

My mind froze in disbelief at what I had just borne witness to, the summoning of bones from earth and the recreation of a dragon.

Delphine waved her hand in my direction and pointed at the two dragons and gestured with her weapon.

Oh by the gods, two of them? She wants me to kill the two of them? I opened my mouth to speak to Delphine when the black dragon turned in our direction.

“Ful, losei Dovahkiin? Zu'u koraav nid nol dov do hi. So, my false Dragonborn? I do not recognize you as dragon. You do not even know our tongue, do you? Such arrogance, to dare take for yourself the name of Dovah.”

He turned to the risen dragon and spoke to him. “Sahloknir, kill these mortals.”

And with that said, the black beast rose further into the air and flew off.

Delphine shouted and I rushed forward, right into the snout of the second dragon who snorted at me.

“A Dovakiin? Surely they jest. Come mortal, let me taste of your flesh and bone.” He opened his great maw and snapped at me, narrowly missing me. I jumped back and withdrew my blade, Iyce, and stood ready to battle.

The dragon, Sahloknir, flapped his wings and rose into the air, but not before releasing a torrent of fire in my direction. I dove out of the line of fire and rolled away to a large boulder.

“My lord Alduin requires your death. I am glad to oblige him. My Voice has been silent for too long!”

“How about if I silence it for you permanently?” I stepped out from the boulder and shouted in his direction.

He shook his head and spouted fire at me as he dropped to the ground, shaking it with his weight. I struggled to keep to my feet. He saw this as a weakness and laughed.

“You are weak mortal. You think you can fell me with a shout? Come, let me show you show you a shout.”

Sahloknir flew around me in circles, raining his fire breath down. He landed on the other side of the open field and crawled towards me, tail lashing, sending great divots of dirt into the air. Jaws snapping, he rose up before me.

“I am Sahloknir! Hear my Voice and despair!”

“I am Phenarie, I am Dovakiin, hear my voice and tremble in fear, beast. I am not afraid of you!”

The beast flapped his wings and rose from the ground sending a hail of loose dirt into my face and causing me to be temporarily blinded. He circled, basting me with the heat from his fiery breath.

He landed, head raised, wings back and tail curling towards me trying to sweep me from my feet.

I saw my chance.

It was a foolish move, on his behalf, as he had exposed his underbelly to me and the soft spot just under his throat. Unleashing the Whirlwind shout, I sprinted forward and in one quick and true thrust, I drove my blade up into his throat. I was immediately knocked back as the beast swing his head from side to side as he desperately clawed at the object in his throat. I scrambled to my feet and rushed forward again under his head. I grabbed hold of the sword, twisting the blade and trying to avoid his claws as he scraped at me and the blade. As blood poured over my hands I pulled the blade out and with another shout, I sprang onto his back and sank my blade into his head.

A loud scream greeted my ears and the giant beast shuddered and sank down to the ground.

I slid from his back and came to stand next to his face. I stood, not triumphant at my win, but with a sadness tugging at my heart as I watched the light in his eye slowly dim as he returned once again to his long sleep.

The death of such a great foe was not always such a joyous occasion for me. To be risen from slumber only to be felled again was not something to be celebrated. I mourned him as I mourned any other that had tasted death at the end of my blade.

A slow yellow light appeared around the dragon, its softness growing in strength as it moved from the palest of yellow to the most intense of reds and oranges. I heard and felt the rush of his soul and felt it as it entered my body to join the other dragon souls that I carried within.

A great cry escaped my lips and a tear came to my eye as I dropped to my knees.

I murmured his name as I lay one hand on his form and bade him peace and rest.

Delphine rushed forward, cheeks aglow and eyes sparkling with excitement. She paused when she saw my face and stood silently for a moment until I rose.

“It is not such a triumph to take the soul of such a beast for me. As I too share their soul.”

She nodded and bowed her head. “Dragonborn. It is an honor and I ask for forgiveness in not seeing you for who you truly are. You have questions and I will answer them all now.”

~~*~~

She answered them all and told me of her true reason for seeking me out.

I listened to her and when she was done, I had a decision to make. To seek out the Thalmor and discover it was them that was behind this threat. I had my reservations, sure the Thalmor were strong, but to be able to control dragons? I would assist Delphine, but first I had to rest.

I would return to Riverwood and await her word.

~~*~~

I rolled over and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. It had been three days since I had returned to Riverwood and there was still no sign of Delphine. I wondered if perhaps she had been captured by the Thalmor or worse, had she encountered the big brute of a dragon?

Pushing myself up from the bed, I rested my feet on the floor, before standing and washing my face. I ran a comb made from bone through my hair and winced at the knots that caught. Perhaps I should just cut my hair and be done with it. It was past my waist and was often tied into a long single braid. Reaching for my dagger I took my hair in hand and began to hack at it until it was sitting on my shoulders. When I was finished I peered at my reflection in the basin and hoped that it was better than what I saw.

Shoving the door aside, I strolled over to Orgnar who was busy at the alchemy table.

“Got a moment?” I inquired.

He turned and stared openly at me.

“You look different. It suits you.”

Well I guess I had done a decent job with my hair. It felt lighter and I hoped it would be easier to maintain.

I sat at the counter while Orgnar prepared my food and we discussed the weather, how Camilla and Faendal were doing now that the babies had arrived. We spoke on the war and a few other topics.

The inn door opened and Orgnar broke out into a huge smile. “Bout time you showed up. I was getting tired of entertaining your friend here. Can’t get any work done with her hanging around me all day.”

Orgnar winked at me and disappeared back to the alchemy table.

Delphine stood aside me and nodded. “Let’s talk in private.”

Down to the cellar we went and we sat and talked. Delphine informed me of her plan and though it seemed straight forward, I had my concerns. To walk into a bed of snakes was one thing, but then to go rifling through Elenwen’s office. Well I just hoped that I was a good sneak thief.


	32. Deception

I traveled to Solitude and when I arrived it was not without some trouble. The guards were searching for a thief who had apparently had broken into the Blue Palace and had stolen a gem that, Elisif the Fair, had kept secured within a safe in her chambers. The young widow of King Torygg was beside herself with grief already at the not so long ago death of her husband and now this.   
Anyone that was not from Solitude, found themselves being subjected to severe questioning by the guards and a very large man with a very large axe.

After being questioned, as to who I was and what my purpose was in Solitude and meeting the satisfaction of the large man with the large axe, I was released with a warning that they were keeping an eye on me.

I shuffled along the street to the front of the Winking Skeever where I had been instructed to meet Delphine’s contact. Once inside, I searched until I found who I was seeking. Delphine’s description of him could not have been more accurate.

He, was a Bosmer, sitting at a table in the corner amidst the shadows, nursing a lone bottle of ale, facing the door. He had thin lips that were closed tightly together and upon his face, aside from the thin lips, was a long chin and small eyes that were guarded and hooded at the moment. I had seen some Bosmer that were attractive, but this one was not so. I walked to the counter and ordered a round to be brought to the table and moved over towards his table and slid into the vacant chair next to him.

He glanced up at me then stared at the floor, ignoring me.

He did not seem impressed by me or curious as to why I had chosen to sit with him when there were tables vacant nearby. I cleared my throat.

“Malborn? Delphine sent me.”

He slowly looked up at me and studied me for about a minute then he sneered.

“Really? You're who she picked?” The sarcasm was evidently thick in his voice. I hope she knows what she's doing.”

“Watch it there, mister.” I growled at him.

He snorted, ignoring my threat, he leaned forward then continued. “Here's the deal. I can smuggle some equipment into the Embassy for you. Don't plan on bringing anything else in with you. The Thalmor take security very seriously.”

“Is that it then?” I inquired, wondering if this was going to work.

“What else were you expecting? That I was going to supply you with a detailed map of the place and all of your options?”

“I dunno. A little more enthusiasm and confidence would do wonders to assure me that I am not walking into a trap.”

Malborn leaned farther towards me and pointed a finger at me.

“It is all up to you. All I can do is get your stuff there and hopefully get you to it, after that, you are on your own. If you are not sure you can handle this, then you can return to Delphine and tell her that.”

He nodded then stood and looked around the inn nervously. “I'm ready to go. Give me what you can't live without, and I'll make sure to get it into the Embassy. The rest is up to you."

I handed over what I thought I would need and reluctantly gave him Iyce.

“Better take of that, it is worth a great deal to me.” I grumbled.

“Meet Delphine at the stables. She will be waiting for you.”

Malborn nodded his head before disappearing out the doors.

I waited a few minutes, watching the other patrons to see if any of them had taken notice in my meeting with the Bosmer, then I made my exit. I walked around the market for a few minutes assessing if I was being followed or not then when I was secure in no one observing me, I left the city to the stables to meet Delphine.

~~*~~

Delphine was leaning against a horse cart when I arrived, looking pensive.

“Well, did you give him your stuff you will need?”

I nodded and was about to speak on his demeanor when I thought better not to. He was her contact, not mine.

“Here is your invitation and you will need to dress in something other than that.” She gestured to my rough tunic and pants? “You cannot go to a party dressed like that. Here take this and change and do hurry.”

I disrobed and pulled on the party clothes that smelt faintly of sweat and rum. I did not inquire of Delphine how she acquired these or where she had found them.

I handed her the rest of my belongings and jumped into the back of the awaiting horse cart.

She looked me over and scowled. “I will see you back in Riverwood when you are done. Your belongings will be there, safe in my chest. Try not to talk too much, I doubt even you would convince Elenwen of any fabricated story. See what you can find,” she paused a moment as her face softened, “and Phenarie, be careful.”

~~*~

The Thalmor Embassy came into sight as the horse cart rolled forward. It was obvious from the thick outer stone walls that surrounded it and the one lone guarded gate that it was well fortified against attack. Sentries were posted everywhere. I doubted that even a rabbit could have entered unbeknownst.

_Oh this is going to be a joy._

My palms were slick with sweat when I stepped from the back of the cart and wandered over to the Thalmor guard and offered him my invitation. He took it in hands, scanned over it then glared at me before issuing me pass to the party. I could feel his cold stare on the back of my neck.

Once inside I was immediately set upon by Elenwen who inquired my name.

I fumbled and coughed, feigning a sudden need for a drink when Malborn interrupted her with his inquiry if he could open some other wine. Elenwen, seeming disgruntled, turned to deal with him and I slipped into the party and made myself scarce. I did not recognize any of the other attendees, but it did not stop me from circulating around the room, eavesdropping on their conversations and including myself into them on occasion. One woman in particular stood out, she smiled broadly at me and commented on how she did not like coming to the parties but felt it was the best to do in light of all that had been occurring in Skyrim. I discovered her to be the Jarl of Morthal and she was quite amicable towards me. I inquired if she could do me a favor and she was so inclined to assist. Upon hearing what I required, she lit up and happily agreed to cause a distraction for me.

“I always had a penchant for intrigue and an ability to see that which others do not see.”

Before she left my side, she bade me good luck.

I moved over to the counter where Malborn was pouring drinks and informed him that I was ready to advance our scheme.

As the Jarl began to distract the others with her loud story and overly dramatic animated actions, Malborn and I slipped through the door behind the counter and entered the kitchen. A cook was the lone occupant of the kitchen, a Khajiit, and she hissed at Malborn and demanded to know who I was.

Malborn offered that I was feeling ill and the cook’s response was to say that she would inform the guards. Malborn retorted that he could easily inform Elenwen of her usage of moon sugar and that would end her. She returned to stirring the pot behind her, hissing softly to herself.

Malborn led me to a door and opened it and we entered. “Your belongings are in that chest. Hurry up, I have to return before they notice that I am gone. You go through that door and it is the first door on your left. Now go!”

I dressed in my armor and took my weapons, and Iyce. Malborn locked the door behind me and I could hear his voice as he re-issued his threat to the cook.

I found the door to my left and inside the room, three Thalmor were discussing some of the assembly of other Thalmor at the embassy. As I listened to their haughty comments I suddenly became aware of my breathing. It was coming in quick little bursts and I strained to calm myself. I waited for Thalmor to leave and then made my way quietly to the door that led to the courtyard and to Elenwen’s private solar.

The door swung open in front of me and a Thalmor mage stood before me. He smiled wickedly reaching for his blade. I sprang on him and shoved him back into the door and we fell out onto the snowy stone. I struck him hard with the end of my blade, knocking him unconscious. I dragged his body into a corner and hit him again.

Sneaking alongside the wall, I moved ahead, hoping not to encounter anymore Thalmor. I knew how formidable an enemy they could be. One might be able to handled, but there were many here and I was not so sure of my ability to take them on. I would have rather faced a dragon then these brutes. Even the big black dragon would be preferable.

I saw my intended destination, the solar, and crept along as quietly as possible. Two Thalmor were guarding the door, arms folded over their chests, eyes watching for any sign of trouble. Damn!

I needed another distraction but what could I do to move them? If I attacked surely a legion of Thalmor would descend upon me and I knew I might not make it out alive.

I studied the courtyard and noticed a pile of crates further away from the door. If I could somehow make them think that someone was over there, perhaps I would have enough time to sneak past them.

I looked down at the snow amidst my feet and scooped it up into a snowball. I took careful aim and launched the snowball in the direction of the crates and smack-the snowball landed behind them perfectly.

The two guards immediately moved in the direction of the crates, magic in hand.

I held my breath and I made a dash for the door and slipped in before they noticed me.

~~*~~

I stopped dead in my tracks. I was not alone and had apparently stumbled into an argument of sorts between two men.

"But, I need that money! I earned it. I have my own expenses you know..." Someone whined.

"Silence! Do not presume, Gissur. You are most useful, but do not presume. We have other informants who are less... offensive." Came a very authoritative voice.

"But no one else has brought you such valuable information, have they? Etienne, he's talked, hasn't he? He knows where that old man is you're looking for, he told me himself." Gissur continued.

"You'll get the rest of your money when we confirm his story. As agreed."

"So he has talked! I knew it!" Gissur retorted.

"Everyone talks, in the end. Now, I have work to do. Leave me to it, if you ever want to see the rest of your payment." The authoritative man spoke harshly.

"Can I... I could help you. He'd talk to me. He trusts me." Gissur whined again.

_Keep that up and I have a feeling you will be on the receiving end of something you won’t want._

"You'd like to come downstairs with me, is that it, Gissur? Shall we loose his bonds and put you in a cell together? You can ask him anything you like, and see how he answers."

 _There you go and now what do you think will happen then, eh Gissur?_ I shook my head.

"No, no. I'll... I'll wait outside."

_Smart answer Gissur, you just survived going up against no doubt a very smart Thalmor agent._

"That would probably be best. Now get out!"

I peeked around the corner of the post I was stationed behind and watched as the Thalmor agent moved away and Gissur disappeared.

The coast was clear and now it was time to sneak and see what information I could find.

I scouted the main room until I found the office I was looking for and therein I found some important papers. I grabbed them up and shoved them inside the neck of my armor.

I moved cautiously towards a doorway and down a flight of stairs that led me to a landing. I could hear voices and someone moaning. I winced at the sound of the moans. Someone was being tortured. I could not put up with that.

I moved to a better position and peered around a table in time to see the former Thalmor from upstairs sitting down at a desk. A soldier was inside one of the cages standing over the body of a man shackled to the wall. He was still breathing but he was in bad shape. I knocked arrow to bow and released an arrow into the neck of the guard then sprang out to attack the Thalmor agent at the desk. He shoved me back into some barrels and brought his summoned blade to hand. Its edges glowed blue with flame and he swept it towards me. I felt the sting of the magic imbued within and I cried out in pain. I rolled away and kicked out at him. He danced away and laughed.

“Now you will die dog.”

I grabbed for Iyce and came to my knees as he rushed forward. I rolled under him and launched myself up to my feet then sprang onto his back, holding my blade to his neck. He threw me from his back and advanced towards me hacking and slashing. His face frozen in a snarl.

“Ha! Face it you will not leave here alive.”

I smiled, feeling the anger inside welling up. “If that be so, neither will you then.”

I opened my mouth and released the Thu’um upon him. He flew back into the wall, hitting it with a loud thud and a sickening crunch. He fell to the floor, slumping over like a careless tossed sack.

I rushed to the desk and searched for any pertinent information. Moving over to the now deceased Thalmor, I searched his pockets until I found a set of keys. Hurrying, I opened a chest beside the desk and within I found three dossiers. I stuffed them inside my armor with the other papers I had retrieved and moved to the cell where the man was hanging. I released him from the shackles and caught him before he hit the floor.

“No, no more, I cannot tell you anymore. I have told you everything that I know, please enough.”

I shushed him as I lay him on the floor and found some water and a clean rag to wipe his face.

He opened his eyes and stared past me.

“I am going to get you out of here, but first do you know a way out?”

He nodded and lifted his hand to point to a corner behind me.

“Trap door… floor… bodies there.”

I nodded and offered him some water from the ladle.

As I did I heard a door open and then a voice.

“We have your accomplice, scum, come out now and face your death.”

The man, Etienne, mumbled something and I bent to whisper in his ear that I would be back momentarily for him.

I stepped out from the cell to see Malborn’s pale face, and behind him stood two guards.

I nodded to Malborn then made a move for the stairs to where they were waiting. As I rounded the landing and stepped beside Malborn, I shoved him out of the way and shouted at the two guards, sending them over the railing to the floor below. One was made unconscious on impact, but the other had managed to regain her feet and began a volley of arrows in our direction. I shoved Malborn back and told him to follow when I called for him.

Leaping over the railing, I hit the floor and rolled behind a barrel. I dodged the arrows being sent in my direction and running bent over I hit the guard square in the stomach with my head forcing her back into the desk. I grabbed the dagger on the desk and sank it into her arm then her leg, severing an artery. She grasped her leg and sank to the ground and in a matter of moments, she slipped away.

“Malborn!”

He rushed down the stairs to my side and squealed when he saw the blood on the floor and on me.

“No time for being weak, I need you to help me get that man out of that cell and we are all leaving-now!”

The trap door on the floor opened once unlocked and I peered down into the darkness. The rank smell of decay choked me and my eyes watered. Something was moving down there and I hoped it was only a skeever if anything.

I lowered Etienne down to Malborn, then fumbled with a torch I had found. The torch spluttered to life and the warm glow from it did nothing to enhance our new found surroundings.

A snarl came from in front of us and I recognized what it was that was down here with us. A troll.

Summoning the Thu’um and hoping I had enough strength to use I crept forward with Malborn and Etienne behind me.

I was not sure where the troll was, but I knew he had to be close as his stench was growing rapidly. Then, I saw the glint of his eyes as he staggered forward.

I paused for just a second and then shouted. The troll roared as he flew back smashing into the cave walls with a sickening crunch and I turned to the two behind me and told them to run.

We darted by the downed troll who was struggling to regain his feet and found our way out of the cave and into the crisp clean air of night.

Etienne leaned on my shoulder and thanked me.

“Don’t thank me yet, we still are not safe.”

Malborn whimpered beside me and I patted his arm assuringly.

~~*~~

Once Etienne was comfortably bundled into the horse cart aside Malborn, I nodded at them.

“Stay out of trouble you two and maybe I will see you again.”

Malborn leaned down to me from the cart and shook his head. “No thank you, it is too dangerous being around you. I’m heading out of Skyrim as soon as I can. No offence.”

I laughed. “None taken.”


	33. Thieves, Thalmor and Treachery

“Esbern, he is alive?!?”

Delphine looked up from the dossier and to me. Her face glowed with excitement.

“Are you sure that is what this Etienne told you?”

I nodded my head as I ate from the bowl of steaming rabbit stew. I tore a piece of bread from the golden still warm loaf that Orgnar had placed before me.

“If he is alive, then I have to find him. He will be able to help sort this out. He if anyone is an expert on these dragons and the Dragonborn. You have to go to Riften and search for Esbern. You must.”

I choked on the bread and grabbed the flagon of ale to wash it down.

I stared at the small woman and wondered if she understood the implications of what she was asking me to do. I had already heavily involved myself into her, situation, more than I had wanted to. The Greybeards would be expecting me and I had the feeling that they would not be so understanding towards my deviance from the path that I was to be following.

“Look, I think I have done enough for you, Delphine. If you want Esbern that badly, then you go to Riften and search for him yourself. I have to get back to the Greybeards with the horn. They probably think I am dead or who knows what.”

Delphine faltered for a moment but then her resolve grew.

“But, I cannot go. The Thalmor have a dossier on me. They are looking for me too, Phenarie. You must do this for me. It is important, and Esbern, he can help you more than the Greybeards will or ever could.”

I sighed. This woman was annoying to say the least and why should I help her any further? I did not owe her; if anything, she owed me.

I sighed and tore another piece of bread from the loaf and stuffed it into my mouth and chewed it. I stared at Delphine, who watched me with pleading look on her face. I sighed heavily as I downed the rest of my ale.

_I am going to regret this somehow._

“Fine, but you owe me, and I want something in return.”

Delphine placed her hands on her hips and stared at me, the corner of her mouth twitching and then turning up into a smile.

“And what exactly is that?”

I pointed to the empty bowl of rabbit stew. “I’ll have another one of those for starters, and aye, I will take a few of those sweet rolls that Orgnar just pulled out of the oven and maybe a few snowberry crostatas too. I _will_ let you know when I think of what else I decide on.”

~~*~~

Riften, home of the Thieves Guild. Home of the Black Briar Meadery and home of rats that scampered in the streets. Dank and wet, smelling of the foul and corrupt. Around every corner, someone lurked, ready to lighten your load. Hands, quicker than the eye, reached for your valuables and, if you were unfortunate to wander even further into the underbelly of the city, well, you might just lose your life.

I questioned myself as to why anyone in their right mind would want to come here. The citizens I met were sour in their mood and they eyed me suspiciously as I moved along the pathways. Riften was obviously suffering and I was not planning on staying within the confines of the grimy looking walls very long. As soon as I concluded my business I was out of this rat infested city and on my way back to Riverwood.

I wandered around the market, seeking the contact that Delphine had mentioned I would find. She had described him as a fairly tall man, with red hair and a deep voice. She told me he could charm anyone and I thought this to be joke which I soon found out to be untruthful.

I was found by him; Brynjolf. He appeared at my elbow, his voice in my ear.

“Running a little light in the pockets, lass?”

I turned to the owner of the voice and found myself staring into limpid green eyes.

“Brynjolf, I presume?”

He stepped back at my recognition and it took him a moment to come round.

“Sorry, lass, have we had dealings afore?”

I suppressed a chuckle as I watched him squirming trying to place who I was. I let him suffer a moment longer then I explained who had sent me.

The clouds of confusion parted at that moment and Brynjolf relaxed.

“So, what is it that Delphine needs?”

“She needs me, to find a man for her.”

Brynjolf folded his arms over his broad chest and smiled. “Aye, there are a few men here; is it just a man she wants, or is there someone in particular?”

“Oh, there is someone in particular, a man by the name of Esbern. Apparently, Etienne Rarnis, confessed that he was here in Riften. By the way, did Etienne make it back alright? I do hope so.”

Brynjolf rubbed at the stubble on his chin for a moment, his eyes searching my face.

“So, you’re the lass that liberated Rarnis from the Thalmor. I owe you a debt of thanks for that. He’s a good man and a good thief.”

I smiled. “I wasn’t about to leave him there with those Thalmor. I’m not that sort of person.”

“And exactly what sort of person are you, lass?”

I looked up into Brynjolf’s eyes. I knew he was trying to charm me, but it was not going to work on me.

“Not that type of lass. I doubt you would want to find out.”

He chuckled and dropped his hands to his side. “Seems as if I have met my match then. If you want information on this Esbern, it’ll cost you.”

“Fair enough, what do you want in return?”

Brynjolf stepped closer to me. I could feel his warm breath on my face. He smelled of ale and honey and something with a pleasant spice to it. Comforting.

“I want you to help me with a little job. I could use a pair of extra hands.”

I held my hands up to his face and waggled them. “Here you go.”

~~*~~

“Let me see if I fully understand what it is you want me to do. You want me to steal Madesi’s ring and plant it on Brand-Shei. Now why on earth do you want to do that? He does not seem to be a bad sort.” I turned to study Brynjolf’s face. “Are you just doing this to put him out of business because he knows you are a bloody thief and shyster?”

“Ssh, lass, keep your voice down. Someone wants him put out of business and that is all I can tell you. Now are you ready? I will create a distraction while you slip about and steal the ring then plant it on Brand-Shei, ready?”

I chewed my bottom lip and looked over at the Dunmer leaning against his counter whilst speaking to a young woman. There seemed to be no real harm in what I was being asked to do, but it was still dishonest. I would steal the ring and leave it somewhere where someone would later find it and hopefully return it to the rightful owner and not plant it on the Dunmer. Brynjolf not need be any the wiser to what I had decided.

~~*~~

Well, the whole thing went off without a hitch, well maybe that was not so entirely true. A guard saw me leaving the ring on a barrel next to Madesi’s stall. I ended up being carted off to the jail and stripped of my armor and weapons. I tried to explain to the guards that I had found the ring on the ground and was only setting it on the barrel so whomever lost it might have found it, but they did not believe me.

I sat with my back against the wall in the cell thinking on the things I might do to Brynjolf if I ever saw his face again. Killing him outright would not satisfy the anger that was reaching steadily boiling within my chest. I closed my eyes as I sighed and resolved myself to the fact that I might be in here longer than I expected, but I was about to be surprised.

A guard appeared at the bars of my cell and he shoved the key into the lock.

“Looks like you are getting out of here. I do not want to see you in here again. Next time, I would be more careful about what you pick up off the ground.”

Brynjolf had sent one of his men, a man called Vipir, to bail me out of jail. I was told to meet Brynjolf at the Bee and Barb.

~~*~~

When I arrived at said place, Brynjolf was not too happy. But his happiness was the least of my concerns.

“I didn’t think you would get pinched, lass, but then again that is how it seems our guild’s luck has been going of late. Ach well, I can’t blame you. But, you do have the fire I am looking for. So are you ready to join us?”

I shook my head. “That is not what I am here for. I told _you_ I am looking for Esbern. You may want to live the life of a thief but I do not. No thanks, but it is not the life for me. I am walking on a different path. Now if you could be so kind as to tell me where this man that I am looking for is I will be on my way and I won’t have to deal with you any longer, nor you with me. Deal?”

Brynjolf leaned back against the back of his chair, tipping it up onto two legs. He closed one eye and pinched the bridge of his nose. He breathed in deeply then let the air out in a heavy sigh. He then ran a hand through his red already disheveled hair and leaning forward, he motioned for me to lean in closer.

I did and as I did he reached out and caught my hand in his.

“You owe me a job, lass and you will do as I ask. Need I say anymore?”

I pulled my hand away and rubbed at where his fingers had dug into my flesh. I raised my eyes to his and as I did, his narrowed. I felt the familiar heat welling up inside of me. I did not like being handled in the way he had and he did not know what I was capable of. But by unleashing the dragon inside of me, it would not solve the situation. It would only draw unwarranted attention from the patrons within the inn and the guards would be escorting me back to the jail. He had paid my bail, so I guess in that sense I owed him something. But I refused to do anything illegal. I had my convictions and I was not about to bend them for this red-headed lout.

He looked away, a slight flush creeping up his neck as he fiddled with the edge of the table.

“Have you made up your mind, lass?”

I bit my tongue. “You are nothing but a silver tongued devil I hope you know.”

Brynjolf smirked as he winked at me. “Aye, I know that, lass, it is part of my appeal.”

~~*~~

I found my way to the Ratway, the sewers beneath the city. Dark, dank and smelling of waste and littered with refuse. Not to mention two inhabitants that were very unwilling to listen to me and found themselves unconscious and no doubt would have a nice headache when they awoke.

I reached the door that led me to the Ragged Tavern and I stood behind Brynjolf as he was discussing the merits of some poor innocent person he had absconded into the life of thievery. It was not until he stopped and said, “Dying breed eh…well then, what do you call that?”

The other patrons of the tavern, turned to stare at me and it was then I realized that he had been speaking about me.

"Well, well... Color me impressed, lass. I wasn't certain I'd ever see you again!"

I stepped forward, coming close to Bryjolf’s chest and staring up unflinchingly into his eyes.

“I don’t know why I bothered. This is a waste of time. You are going to tell me what I want to know now. No more games or you won’t like the end results.”

There was a murmur from the other patrons and Brynjolf leaned down until his face was close to mine.

“Threatening me, lass, is not your best option. There are more of us then you.”

“And making me angry is something that you ought to think about not doing.”

I stepped back, the anger growing and I turned away making sure no one was in the way of what was climbing up and out of my throat. The tickle grew and became a full throated roar as it catapulted from my mouth to the air. Overhead, the stones shook, a few of the small dislodged stones fell into the water behind the small dock. The overhead chandelier swung back and forth and the nearest table toppled over, its contents spewing foam from the ale across the floor.

I stopped my shout and calmed myself, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. Turning to face Brynjolf and the others, I was greeted with looks of disdain, fear and trepidation.

“What are you?” I was asked by the man with the apron who I took to be the owner of the establishment.

“Something you do not want to mess with.” I shot in his direction.

From a doorway behind me to my left a familiar voice reached my ears. “Phenarie!”

It was Etienne, looking far better than he had when at last I had seen him. He grabbed my arms and then pulled me in for a hug.

“Have you come to join the Thieves Guild?”

I hugged him back and when he released me I smiled and shook my head. “I’m looking for Esbern, Delphine needs his help. She thinks that he will know how to stop the dragon threat and maybe in the process help me. Your friends here, well, we were just becoming acquainted.”

Etienne turned to Brynjolf. “Bryn, Mercer is looking for you. He said to make sure I stressed to you- _now_.”

“Duties call, lass, I will leave you with Etienne until I return.”

Brynjolf shot a look at Etienne and he in return nodded.

“Come on, let’s sit and you can tell me more about what is going on until the boss gets back.”

I sat at a table nearby and folded one leg over the other. My fingers were itching to find themselves wrapped around someone’s, anyone’s neck and at the moment I did not care whose neck it was.

Etienne did his best to try and distract me, but the whole time I sat with him, I kept my eyes on the doorway through which Brynjolf had disappeared. It may have not been long before he returned, but when he did, he did not seem happy.

“Apparently some uninvited guests have been snooping around in the Warrens. Looks like someone else is looking for your man Esbern.”

I jumped in my chair. There would only be one other person or persons seeking Esbern and that would be the Thalmor.

“So will you tell me now where he is before they reach him?”

Brynjolf nodded to Etienne.

“I can do better than that, lass. I will have you taken to him now.”

~~*~~

Dripping water, the smell of mold and dampness, the sound of muffled voices, the scrape of a boot on stone reached my ears. I could hear Etienne breathing behind me, and the same of a woman named Vex in front of me. Through corridors we snaked along, pausing and listening for the Thalmor. Brynjolf had sent another man the other way round so they could not get past that way. The Thalmor were not welcome here and if they pushed against the guild, well they would push back. They knew these tunnels and corridors, the hidden pockets infused in darkness. Every stone, every grate, was counted as home by the guild of thieves. There were a few inhabitants, not of the guild that lived here, the lost, the lonely and a few that were trapped in their own world. Harmless as long as they were left alone, but to someone blundering along, they might be pounced on and would disappear.

Vex halted in front of me and raised a hand with two fingers upwards. She squatted low, her breathing slowing as she listened. Somewhere ahead of us a piercing scream drifted towards us, followed on its heels by the sound of maniacal laughter. It sent a chill down my spine as it reverberated off the stone around us. I would have not wanted to traverse these corridors by myself, even with the power of the Thu’um within me. It was like being trapped within a tomb, but with something far worse than draugr.

The laughter stopped and silence filled the air. Vex motioned for us to continue on and we returned to our slow pace. I understood the need for caution, but I was becoming impatient with it. I had to get to Esbern and preferably be out of this place as soon as possible.

Vex stopped before a large gated archway and pointed at a flight of stairs, further in.

“Up those, to the left and then it is the door straight down at the end. He won’t open it for you. You better have some way of convincing him that you are a friend.”

I nodded my head, going over the line that Delphine had me repeat back to her several times before I had left Riverwood.

I moved through the archway and up the stairs, listening for any signs of trouble. I made my way to the door and rapped lightly upon it. From within the room behind I heard a chair scrape on the floor then footsteps approach.

“Esbern?” I spoke softly.

“Go away.” Came a gruff response.

“Esbern, open up. Delphine sent me.”

There was a long pause, then he responded. “Delphine? She is alive? No, she cannot be. How do I know that she sent you and this is not some trick by the Thalmor? Damn spies are everywhere.”

“She asked me to memorize a line over and over again. I am to ask you where were you on the 30th of Frostfall. Does, does it mean something to you?”

Silence greeted my ears for a few moments and for a second I thought that it would not work and I would have to return empty handed. I could, on second thought blast the door open with my Thu’um, but I did not want to scare or harm Esbern.

I heard the sound of a bolt being slid back, followed by several more and then some locks being opened.

“Hold on, one of them is stuck.”

The door finally opened and an older man stood before me dressed in a simple tunic and sporting a neatly cropped beard. He nodded to me as I entered the room and he shut the door behind me.

“If you have found me, then surely they will soon.”

“The Thalmor? They are already in the Warrens searching for you. Brynjolf has some men distracting them and he sent two of his members with me. We have to leave now.”

Esbern muttered something incoherent as he rushed around his room collecting a few belongings. He thrust them into a satchel I took it to lighten his burdens and when he was finally done, he paused to look at the room that had been his home for the last several years.

“No sense in feeling any melancholy.”

We moved out of the room and began down the stairs when Etienne shouted for us to get down. Two Thalmor appeared and they brandished their glowing blue weapons.

I instantly recalled the sting of the blade when I had rescued Etienne and did not wish to feel it once again.

Vex started forward, her dagger glinting in the light. She attacked the first Thalmor then as she did Etienne moved in to distract the second.

“Go! Now! We will take care of them.” Vex called out.

I shoved Esbern ahead of me and we made a break for it running back the way we had come. Tunnel after tunnel, corridor after corridor we traversed until we were finally back standing at the door to the Ragged Flagon.

“I haven’t moved like that in a long time.” Esbern spouted. “Exciting.”

I shook my head.

~~*~~

Inside the Ragged Flagon, I found Vekel and Brynjolf standing over the inert body of a man. As I moved forward I instantly recognized him as Gissur from the Thalmor Embassy.

“He came in asking questions about Esbern,” Vekel conceded, “didn’t like his whiny voice. Knew he was up to no good.”

Brynjolf turned to face us and nodded to Esbern. “I hope you were worth it.”

I stepped in between them. “I will be judge of that. Thank you for your help, Brynjolf and thank Etienne and Vex and Rune when they are back. But we have to get moving now, just in case they are more Thalmor.”

Brynjolf bent down and planted a peck on my cheek. “You take care, lass and when you come back to Riften, look me up, eh? We have some unfinished business you and I.”


	34. Reunion

Esbern, shoved the door of the Sleeping Giant Inn opened and stepped inside. He hesitated for a moment, watching the woman at the other end of the inn then he began walking towards Delphine. Orgnar was wiping down a table and Delphine was sweeping the floor. She looked up from what she was doing to speak to whomever had entered and stopped abruptly.

I could that she struggled with the sight of the man that stood before her and it took her a few moments to realize that he was not an apparition or a figment of her imagination. He was there, standing in front of her. She leaned the broom against the nearby wall, wiped her hands on her dress and advanced slowly towards Esbern, her eyes never leaving his face.

“Esbern?!”

She rushed forward, flinging herself into the old man’s arms and kissing his cheek. The two of them held to each other and I stepped towards the table that Orgnar was cleaning and nudged his arm.

"Eh?"

He turned to watch the two embracing each other and he sighed. “Now isn’t that adorable.” He chuckled then added. “Hey you two, want a room or something?”

I dug my elbow into his ribs and he let out an oomph from my efforts.

"What?"

The two old friends separated and walked towards Delphine’s room and as the entered, Delphine called out to me.

“Well, don’t just stand there, this has just as much to do with you as anyone.”

I followed along and down the steps to the hidden room below and sat on a chair in the corner while Esbern ruffled through his pockets looking for something.

I stood and handed him the satchel of items that I had taken from him during our flight from the Warrens and he nodded gratefully.

He closed his eyes, steadying his breathing, then began to tell of us what he had been working on, his findings and when he was finally finished he looked directly at me.

Delphine stood with her mouth held in a tight grimace.

She shuffled towards the table in the center of the room and leaned against it before looking in my eyes.

“So, now that you have heard all of that, are you willing to help us defeat the dragons?”

Inwardly I groaned, outwardly I tried to look calm. This, this being the Dragonborn was a heavy burden and one that I might have relinquished if I had been the sort of person who did not care, but I _did_ care and I did not want to see the end of the world that I lived in.

“Alright, I am in, so where are we going?”

~~*~~

The Karthspire sat like a precious jewel, right in the midst of Forsworn territory and right in the middle of their camp. They were not forgiving and they certainly were not going to welcome us with open arms when we tried to access the long lost Sky Haven Temple.

I made sure I had stocked up on arrows and I strengthened my supply of potions just in case they would be needed.

Delphine had sharpened her blade and Esbern, well, Esbern seemed remarkably calm.

The entrance to the temple lay on a hill side that sat above the Forsworn camp that was well fortified. I watched them from my perch, counting the numbers, taking note of the fortifications, the paths that were all visible to them, searching for the best way to gain entrance to Sky Haven.

The number of Forsworn was large and from my vantage point I could see they had in their numbers a Hargraven. She was currently standing over the inert body of a giant that lay on a table at the end of a grassy slope to our left. I watched as she performed a ceremony on the body of the giant and she stopped when a Forsworn warrior approached her. Heads together they discussed something, their faces animated as well as their gestures. Something was amiss, did they know of our presence?

Their heads held together for a few moments longer, then they ambled away towards the stone steps that led up towards a large group of Forsworn.

I rolled over onto my back and stared up at the night sky. I studied the stars and watched as the wisps of smoke from the fires from the camp lazily drifted towards the twin moons.

“I have a feeling that they know we are sitting up here,” I looked over at Esbern and Delphine, “are you ready to attack?”

They nodded their readiness.

~~*~~

Arrows filled the night sky and the sound of screams shattered the silky black darkness. Blood ran in rivulets that appeared black and pooled around my feet.

Flames erupted around me as the Hargraven surged forward, her cackling voice greeting me. I shot arrow after arrow in her direction, but she cast them aside as if they were small bugs and nothing more. Enough of this, I grew tired of her and her flames and her damn cackling. I threw my head back and the Thu’um erupted from my throat sending her flying through the air to land with a satisfying smack on the hard stones of the steps that she had just descended. She would cackle no more.

Delphine was taking her time, her face alight with what appeared to be amusement as she smote the Forsworn that dared to face her. They came at her, left and right, but she did not falter. She was a warrior and she knew what had to be done.

Esbern’s fingers, engulfed in flame, set bolts of fire into those that managed to creep forward. For an old man, he certainly was spry.

I sent arrow after arrow into numerous foe who thought that they could defeat us, but yet they still came on and for a brief moment I thought that we would lose to them. The tide turned our way and those that did not die, scattered to the surrounding hills to lick their wounds.

Finally, when all was said and done, the field on which we stood was slathered in blood and bodies that smoked and lay in their final death throes.

I turned and vomited into some nearby bushes, no doubt brought on between the excitement and the stench of death that was overpowering to me. Once I was sure I was finished, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and gratefully accepted Delphine’s water skin. I rinsed my mouth out and spat a few times. I handed the skin back to Delphine and as she took it she pointed behind me.

“There is the entrance up there, we better move, no telling if those that fled will return or if there are any more of the Forsworn around.”

Inwardly I prayed that that was the last of them. They fought proudly and viciously and I did not want to encounter any more of their kind so soon on the heels on the battle that we had just fought.

~~*~~

 

The interior of the entrance was dark and felt cool against my skin. I was grateful that no Forsworn were found lurking within the darkened recesses as suggested by the evidence from their establishment of an interior camp within the cave.

We made our way over bridges and rocky paths and came to three stone pillars that had strange markings upon them.

Esbern was filled with excitement and hurriedly explained that the markings were Akaviri and that these must somehow open a doorway to the inner chambers.

I studied the symbols and noted that one; they appeared to be able to be rotated and two; three of the same symbols had appeared, repeated here and there on the walls as we had approached this chamber. I turned the stones until all three held the same symbol and as the last symbol moved around into place, there was a grating noise to my left and a heavy stone bridge descended with a puff of dust, extending to an open archway.

Esbern's eyes lit up and he smiled at me.

“Good, now let’s keep moving.”

Esbern surged ahead of me and Delphine followed on my heels. We snaked along past vine clad walls and juniper trees that forced their way up through the rocky floors of the cavern. Overhead I could see the sky and it lent itself to the eerie feelings that enveloped me as I continued forth to whatever lay ahead.

We came to a room in which the floor was covered with what seemed to be pressure plates again scribed with the same symbols that had presented themselves on the three pillars. I stepped carefully on the same symbol that I had turned the pillars to and found that I was now standing in front of a formation that obviously would loosen some form of a trap upon us. Reaching for the pull chain I turned to Esbern and Delphine and nodded that it should be safe for them to approach. A second bridge had fell into place and we traversed across it to follow the path that led us up and into a large voluminous cavern.

On the far side of the cavern, held within the wall, was what appeared to be a large head. For a moment I thought it to resemble Esbern and I could not help but chuckle at that. Bald, and ominous, it stared with hollow eyes in our direction almost forbidding us to venture onward. On the floor in front of the face was once again the same symbol that stretched towards the face.

I walked towards it, almost as if in a dream and knelt before it. Without even thinking about what I was doing, I removed a small dagger from my boot and cut the palm of my hand and held it above the center of the symbol. My blood sank within the stone.

Both Esbern and Delphine muttered something behind me, but I ignored it, as I was distracted by what happened next.

There was a great groaning noise, the sound of stone grating against stone and the head began to shake along with the room in which we stood. The head lifted up and behind it, a dark maw awaited.

Lighting torches, we advanced into the depths of darkness and continued onward to find ourselves standing in what appeared now to be a large banquet room with a long table surrounded by several chairs in the center of dais.

Along one wall to our right, there stretched out several panels and what was depicted the history that Esbern understood to be the story of the Blades, and the Dragonborn and their defeat of the dragons.

Esbern was beside himself with excitement, his lips moving silently as he moved from one panel to the next, occasionally muttering outloud to himself and nodding his head. He spoke to himself then called out to Delphine to come and bear witness to the history that hung before them.

Delphine listened intently while Esbern told her of the story that was depicted before them.

I meanwhile had moved to the last panel and stared at the image that stood before me.

In the final image, there was a dragon, large and imposing as he stood well above what appeared to be a lone warrior.

The warrior stood proudly and fiercely, squarely meeting the dragon in the last throws of an obvious battle.

As I looked closer at the image it suddenly dawned on me that this before me was not just some warrior, but this was the Dragonborn. That this was representative of, me.

I stumbled back, my hands fisting as I stood staring at the image in horror and disbelief.

Esbern and Delphine had grown silent and were watching me with great interest.

“Yes, yes, it is all overwhelming is it not? That you are here, within this stone image, portrayed as what those that carved this to be. You standing before your enemy and greeting him with what appears to be a shout. You victorious in your effort against the dragon that will, if not stopped, consume the end of the world.”

Esbern fell silent.

I still could not grasp what it was that I was seeing and I struggled internally with all of that. Esbern’s words did not register with me.

The conclusive evidence was there, carved in stone for me to see, yet it seemed like it was only a dream, a figment of my imagination.

How could I, Phenarie, a woman barely out of childhood, a woman who had seen so much and still felt as if she knew nothing, defeat this monster that would swallow the world? How could those, before me, so long ago, know of this? How could they be sure, that I would and could even do this? Their obvious faith in some mortal who was not yet even born astounded me.

I then thought of those that I had known, those that I knew and I struggled with what I knew now.

Delphine cleared her throat.

“Do you know of this shout?” She inquired with hopefulness in her voice.

I blinked and looked at her then shook my head.

I watched as her face fell.

~~*~~

“You do not know the shout, is that what you are saying? Then we are all lost, doomed.”

Delphine walked away and clutched her fists.

I sat heavily on the edge of the nearest chair, my head between my knees, gulping the air that seemed as if it was trying to elude me. My heart thudded in my chest, loud as the sea as I sat trying to calm myself and at the same time listening to both Delphine and Esbern as they argued over what they were going to do now that all hope seemed lost to them.

Could they not see that I was having a panic attack? Could they not see that I was struggling with what I had seen and now had discovered?

In one effort I pushed up from the chair and turned to them, my anger gripping me tightly in its grasp. I felt the stirrings of the Thu’um as it began to rise from within the depths of my body. It rushed ahead, not heeding caution and ripped from me launching itself forward and at the two who seemed to not care about me. I slid to the floor, a puddle of helplessness, feeling like a child lost and alone. I blinked back the burning tears and I cried out.

“I do not want this! You, you take it and do what has to be done!”

Esbern, having regained his feet, came to me and wrapped his arms around me. He comforted me, like the child I was behaving as, and spoke softly to me. His words stung and yet they were the truth. There was no one else. This was my destiny. By some twist of fate, I had been chosen to carry this burden and I alone must walk the path that had set out for me.

Delphine stood close and smiled at me. Her body relaxed even though I had shouted her to the floor. She tried to understand what it was that I held within me, at least I hoped she did.

I struggled to my feet and nodded. I knew what must be done. I would go in search of this shout and then, then I would set my feet on the path that was laid out before me.


	35. Barrows and Ghosts

From Sky Haven Temple, I had made my way quickly down the edge of the mountain, to Markarth. From there, I secured a ride, once I bartered with the driver of the horse cart, to Whiterun, and from there it would be on to Ivartstead. I had no qualms about moving through Forsworn territory on my own; in my mind, I was confident that they would not yet attack me, but, I knew that those that had fled from the battle would already be making plans to avenge those that they had lost to our blade and arrow. Delphine and Esbern would need to keep a wary eye out should they linger outside of Sky Haven Temple too long. Once at the city of stone, I sent word by courier, ahead to Whiterun, to Farkas and Lydia, to be ready to go to Ivarstead while I restocked some of my supplies. I needed to see my friends, I needed to draw upon their energies to center me. I also needed their council. I had to face the Greybeards with what I had seen at Sky Haven Temple and return the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller.

I was still struggling with what I had seen, inside the Temple. The depiction of the Dragonborn and the end battle with the black brute, Alduin, that had become the bane of my existence. It had seemed to cement what my purpose was, that I was not created to live a simple life, that there was a higher purpose to my being. _I should thank him when I face him for meddling in my life._ I shoved those thoughts aside and forced myself to think only on seeing Farkas and Lydia, and the Greybeards. Everything else could wait for now, at least.

~~*~~

The cart ride to Whiterun was slow going. The driver regaled me with song and story. Luckily, no Forsworn made an attempt to stop us, though I did spy a few watching our movements oddly enough. Along the way we passed by Imperial and Stormcloak patrols and as I watched the Stormcloak soldiers, as they passed by, I was holding my breath, hoping for a glimpse of Ralof. My heart clenched as I thought of him and I wondered how he had faired once he had returned without me.

I was sure that once, Ulfric and especially Galmar, had heard of my leaving I was branded a coward, a traitor, and I would not be surprised if there probably was a bounty placed on my head.

I sighed.

If ever this ended, I swore I would find him, Ralof, my blue eyed soldier, and then, well, I hoped on never leaving his side again.

~~*~~

A weary traveler I was, when I arrived in Whiterun. Farkas greeted me at the stable and hugged me tight.

“I was worried for you.” He spoke gravely to me, worry edging into his eyes.

I smiled and punched his arm lightly.

“You have to be kidding, you know I can take care of a few pesky Forsworn, I’m the Dragonborn after all.

He nodded his head and smiled.

“I still worry.”

Lydia had already collected together what she deemed, as necessary, for our trip to Ivarstead, and as I looked through some of the items, I began to suspect that she was way more detail oriented than most that I had met. An array of weapons was set out on the table, cleaned and sharpened. She had a few solid choices of arrows, “just in case of dragons being on that mountain”, she quipped to me. There was a decent pile of warm clothing and she had packed up the fur tent and the fur bed rolls. Beside that was an assortment of dried foods.

I looked at the items and smiled.

“You know we won’t be gone for that long, eh?”

She nodded her head. “Aye, but I like to be ready for anything.” She shot a glance over at Farkas and I wondered what was that implied.

~~*~~

A thick mist enshrouded the small village of Ivarstead that sat perched on the edge of Lake Geir, lending to its eeriness and with the sounds of wolves howling in the distance, it sent shivers down my spine. I wanted nothing more than a warm meal and a warm bed.

Farkas, Lydia and I had work to do first, before any rest would come. The Companions had been contacted by the local sawmill owner with a serious issue.

Attacks by bears had driven the owner, Temba Wide-Arm, into an angry state resulting in the fact that she was offering a reward for ten bear pelts. Thus far, no one had stepped forward to assist her, so word had been sent to the Companions. Farkas planned on thinning some of the herd in one of the two local dens in the morning, that in his opinion and a few of the locals, were both a little too close to the main road into and out of town. A few travelers had been attacked and the locals were in fear of their lives, even with the presence of guards in the small town.

While Farkas spoke to Temba, Lydia approached the guards and learned that a local woman had gone missing a few months ago and her remains were recently found in the river. There was some suspicion surrounding her death and whispers were abound as to who her possible killer might have been. Her personal effects were recovered and had been returned to her brother, including her locket, who in his loss of last family member, had gone mad. Unfortunately, he had been found not long after, sitting on the back steps of the broken down house he lived in, dead. There was a rumor circulating that perhaps it had been the hand of the Dark Brotherhood reaching out. Lydia queried of me who would have done such a thing? Arrange the murder a man that had just lost his only family? She shook her head and exclaimed that that was cold.

I had discovered, while securing our rooms for the night, that a ghost had apparently been haunting the local barrow and stopping anyone from straying too close. Wilhelm, the owner of the Vilemyr Inn, told me it was the topic that everyone was speaking about, well that and maybe the bears.

After I spoke to Lydia, we decided to check out the barrow and see if we could find any clues as to what was going on. All appeared quiet when we entered the barrow’s outer ruins. A few sarcophagi were open revealing their resting inhabitants. None moved as we approached and Lydia agreed that these were beyond any sign of rising from their slumber. Once past the iron doors, we were greeted with darkness and we lit a torch to aid us in our descent into the interior of the barrow. Down the winding wooden staircase we traversed, listening for any signs of trouble. We encountered no deterrence until we came at last to a gated room and beyond that the disembodied voice of the ghost warning us from any further progress. Lydia cast a wary glance in my direction and I smiled reassuringly.

After a few moments of searching, we found our way past the gate and the iron doors and was immediately set on by a spectral being. Lydia pounced on it and as she did, it became aware to me, as we fought it, that this was no ghost, but perhaps only the man that had been seeking the treasure within.

With quick and surefooted work, Lydia dispatched him and stood with a look of query on her face over his body.

“He obviously thought that whatever the treasure in here was, was worth a great deal that he was going to stay here and guard it. I wonder why he failed to find it?”

I shook my head and having spied a journal on the nearby table aside the bottle of potion I was sure he was using to enable his spectral form, responded to her inquiry.

“Maybe we will find the answer to that in here. Let’s head back to the inn.”

~~*~~

As we sat enjoying our meal, I leafed through the journal and read the ramblings of a man that had gone mad over the purported treasure held within the barrow. For a year he had hidden inside, searching for a claw that would enable him to access the treasure and he had failed, growing ever angrier and certain that someone had been playing games with him.

At the mention of the claw, I recalled the golden claw that Lucan had sought from the thieves in Riverwood and later Bleak Falls Barrow. Perhaps this claw itself had been stolen and was not too far away.

Wilhem appeared at our table with another round of ale and I inquired about more details of the barrow and the man that I had found within. I offered the journal to him and when he learned of the ghost was just a ruse, he informed me that he had something that might assist us in our endeavors within the barrow.

He produced from behind the counter, a claw. A claw made of sapphire.

“So, you had this all along. The very thing that Wyndelius Gatharian was searching for and you never thought to just give it to him and let him be on his way?” Farkas spoke from behind his flagon of ale.

Wilhem shrugged his shoulders.

“I didn’t think or know that it was this he was searching for. The man only stopped in here once before he entered the barrow and we never saw or heard from him again.”

Wilhem dropped the claw on the table in front of Farkas.

“Here, you take the blasted thing off my hands. I won’t be responsible for the death of that mad man or anyone else. Hopefully you don’t go the same way if you go looking for the treasure within. Me, I would stay as far from it as possible.”

~~*~~

Shroud Hearth Barrow lay open before us. There was no spectral being to impede our way this time. I looked at the sapphire claw in my hand and at the puzzle door that we now found ourselves standing before. I wondered how many doors were there like this scattered through Skyrim and how many claws there were hidden away from those that sought them.

I rotated the three dials to match the markings on the underside of the claw and inserted the claw into the keyhole, stepping back as the immense door began to shudder, sending up a plume of dust as it slid down into the floor at our feet.

Farkas smiled. “Cool trick.”

I nodded. “The first barrow I went into had a draugr who gifted me with Iyce after I fought him. I wonder what it will be this time.”

Lydia glanced at my sword. “Who knows, maybe a matching dagger.”

Farkas snorted. “Let’s hope whoever owns it is not too angry when we disturb him.”

Farkas stepped through the opening first, great sword at the ready, once the heavy door slid into the slot in the floor, raising his face up slightly and sniffed the air, his nose wrinkling.

“I smell death inside.”

He turned to face the dark-haired Nord that stood beside me. “You aren’t afraid are you?” Farkas grunted at Lydia, with a mocking smile crossing his lips.

Lydia scowled at him then she looked over at me. “I’m _not_ afraid, are you?”

I laughed out loud. “Only if you aren’t, Lydia.”

She smiled.

We entered the chamber ahead of us and followed the passageways that lead us through to a chamber and the gate behind us closed and left us to face the usual draugr clumsily awakening from their slumber.

After dispatching them with little effort, we moved on to find a circular staircase that led to a second level and one above which was only a door to a locked chest with a small amount of loot inside.

Returning to the second level we encountered a skeleton that was immediately crushed by a battering ram that was triggered by Farkas. He grinned in delight at seeing the skeleton fly into pieces and I shook my head.

We came upon a levelled area that looked down onto a pit where five more skeleton stood in what so happened to be an oil slick from the above hanging lantern. Knocking an arrow to bow, Lydia released the arrow and we watched as the lantern landed with a crash and heard the whoosh of the fire as it engulfed the skeletons.

“Kind of macabre don’t you think?” I said with a small smile tugging at the corner of my mouth.

“No more macabre than him,” she gestured sourly at Farkas, “and his battering ram on the skeleton.”

Farkas rolled his eyes.

Moving on, we encountered more draugr as we ascended the stairs and after dealing with them found that we were faced with a few more for good measure.

A draugr that we fought afforded us with a key to a locked door that lead us to a room with a waterfall at the end and a set of stairs that lead us to another door and a gap to another section. I could see a bridge and wondered how to lower it as there was no apparent lever.

Lydia studied the four totems-two on either side of the doors and Farkas opened the door and ducked in time as a draugr swung his weapon towards the open door. Farkas growled at the draugr and motioned for him to advance. I never knew Farkas to back down from a fight and I think he was enjoying this. Swords clashed and clanged and both sparks and grunts filled the air. Farkas swung low and caught the draugr mid-section, severing it in half. After finishing off the draugr, we discovered that when stepping on a pressure plate on the floor in the room, four doors opened and revealed a pillar with a symbol on it that was on the outer totems and we discovered that the four totems could be rotated to lower the bridge to the other side. Farkas dragged half of the draugr and laid it on the pressure plate and stood with arms folding watching the doorways to the right while Lydia watched the ones to the left. They called out the images that appeared to me while I turned the totems to the corresponding image.

Once we had done this we strolled across the bridge only to be greeted by a draugr that appeared suddenly from a small recess in the wall to our left. He advanced, coming quite close to Lydia, and if not for Farkas, he would have caught her unaware. Farkas shoved Lydia out of the way at the last moment and the draugr rushed forward only it managed to activate a trap and release boulders that crushed it.

Lydia beheld Farkas as if he were suddenly something more than he was. She flushed heavily and smiled weakly as she thanked him.

Farkas beamed at her and told it was nothing that he was sure that she would not have done for him or for me.

We came to a set of great doors and opening them revealed a large chamber with several sarcophagi placed around a raised temple. I looked at Farkas and he nodded.

“Reminds me of Dustman’s Cairn for some reason; be on the watch.”

As we stepped forward, Lydia shouted as a skeleton appeared from the nearest sarcophagi. She fought it and it was replaced with a draugr and so forth. Skeletons appeared on raised platforms from either side of the chamber, and launched arrows towards us. Lydia focused on one side, while I took the other and we answered their arrows with our own. As each one fell, they were replaced by another skeleton or another draugr that unencumbered themselves from their sarcophagi.

The last sarcophagi, up on the temple at the far end, contained a draugr who was trying to use the Thu’um on us, lending us a taste of his voice. He stood his ground, shaking his weapon in the air trying to intimidate us.

Farkas nodded his head in its direction and I opened my mouth to answer the draugr, delivering a force to throw him back against his stone bed. Lydia and Farkas both rushed forward and finished him off before he could regain his feet.

Across a narrow wooden plank, we walked and discovered a chest with a cabled trigger trap on its side. Lydia pointed to the small chambers within the walls surrounding us and Farkas warned that it was likely poisoned darts. Carefully disabling the trap, we took the items from within the chest.

I looked across the chamber to the now familiar black wall that sat in the edge of darkness and strode towards it.

“Do you think that is a good idea?” I could hear Farkas asking me off in the distance as I approached the wall and before I could answer I was greeted with the familiar rush of power that left me both exhilarated and shaking.

I turned to him once I had absorbed the power from the wall and became aware of my surroundings again and nodded.

“I don’t like when you do that. It gives me the creeps.”

Across the wooden bridge to our right we went and found a pull chain that when pulled returned us to the room where we passed the Wyndelius Gatharian's remains. I paused to pick up one of the bottles of potion on the stone desk beside him and studied it. It might be of use in the future, so I took it and placed it in my pack.

~~*~~

“How much further is it?” Lydia asked for what must have been the fifth time since we had started out for the Greybeards.

I turned to look at her and to answer her but the wind howled as if answering for me.

Farkas and she were dressed in extra furs to keep the chilly temperatures at bay, but as for myself, the thin hide I had chosen kept me toasty warm. I had found that I was not cold in the least. Could it have been a side effect from the last word wall I had encountered? I was not sure.

The steps were slick with ice and the snowdrifts in places were as high as my armpits which did not say much since I tended to be on the short side. Farkas plowed ahead of Lydia and me trying to create a path for us to follow and I was grateful for his actions and his company.

We stopped at what was half-way up the steps to camp for the night. Tired and sore from our struggle, we pitched our tent, built the fire, and kept it burning throughout the night. Our rations of food included some venison and some potatoes made into a thick bubbling stew that filled our bellies and warmed us.

Lydia produced a bottle of wine which we shared then we snuggled down into our thick bear fur-lined sleep rolls and slipped into an undisturbed and peaceful sleep.

~~*~~

I awoke in the morning to a winter wonderland all around us. The trees, the path, the tents, everything, was covered in a thick layer of powdery white snow. The sun, that shone brilliantly in the crystal blue sky, danced on the snow reflecting a thousand glittering crystals of various colors that took my breath away. It was simply…beautiful.

The air was much thinner at this elevation so breathing was a little uncomfortable, but yet as I drew in a deep breath, I was filled with a sense of calm.

Farkas stuck his head out of the tent behind me and peered at the snow. “By the gods, is that more of that white stuff?” His head disappeared back into the tent.

“Aye, it is and if we don’t get moving, I am sure there will be more piled on that tent.”

I received a snort from the tent.

Lydia rose in an exuberant mood. “I cannot wait to see High Hrothgar and meet the Greybeards. What are they like?”

I finished packing up the last of the campfire pans and turned to her.

Before I could answer her, Farkas retorted from inside of the tent.

“Probably just a bunch of grumpy old men, who I am sure won’t be too happy to see us.”

I shook my head. “If anything, hopefully they will be glad to see the horn and maybe some more of Klimmek’s supplies for sure.”

I had agreed to bring Klimmek’s supplies to the Greybeards as he was feeling his age, not that he was old, but I think it had more to do with a current issue he was suffering from. He was caught in a love triangle with Fastred and some other man named, Bassianus, who was trying to woo her and take her away from Ivarstead. Klimmek had confided to me that he had serious feelings for Fastred, but this Bassianus was as confident as they came. Klimmek thought he did not stand a chance, but I told him to be honest with Fastred and declare his love for her. If he did that she might see him in a different light. I wished him well and had left as he gone in search of Fastred.

I finished packing up my belongings and I turned to look towards where High Hrothgar stood. Inwardly I suspected that the Greybeards would not be happy with what I was about to tell them when I arrived. Life might just become a little more complicated, but what not complicated in my life already?


	36. Higher Knowledge

Cold, icy winds gripped me, their sharp talons digging into my body as I struggled up the remaining steps to the doors of High Hrothgar. I stood, catching my breath, thinking on what I was going to say to the Greybeards, and knowing full well that they would not be so quick to offer up what it was that I sought. Some things were meant to be hidden away, for reasons that were not always so clear, to those that sought them. In the wrong hands, such a wealth of information, that unlocked powers beyond those that any mortal should be allowed to know, could spell the end of the world, but was that not what I was trying to stop? The end of the world? Was I not trying to stop Alduin, who would, if left unchecked, swallow the world and all that it held and some of that was dear to me. I would not allow it. I would make the Greybeards see my point, I had too, there was no other way.

I had the distinct feeling from Delphine, and even Esbern, that there was no love between the Blades and the Greybeards. They had a history, one that was not of the best terms. I did not want to add fuel to the fire, but if the world to was survive the onslaught of the black beast from Oblivion, then everyone was going to have to set their differences aside and join sides no matter how much it pained them.

Farkas looked up at me, his eyebrows and beard caked heavily in ice and snow making him look like a frost troll. Lydia too was white from head to toe, her eyes all that gave any indication of color. I smiled inwardly but in that moment too I felt my heart jump in my chest as the darker thought of the what if crowded in; I could not lose them, they were my friends, and I would do all I had to, to protect them.

Throwing my shoulders back, and setting my jaw in firm resolve, I shoved through the massive golden burnished doors and was greeted with warmth and the smell of something from the Divines themselves.

Behind me, Farkas shook himself and Lydia flapped her cloak sending a shower of snow and ice everywhere. She glanced down at the snow and ice, over to me and then flushed red and apologized.

Master Borri, strode quickly in our direction robes flowing around him, dipping his head down as he brought his hands from the pleats of his robes. He took my cold hands in his, closing his eyes as he bent over them, murmuring something and he held them fast for a few moments as the heat from him invaded my body. I was thankful for this small ritual that he applied to me. In a matter of seconds, I was no longer chilled to the bone. He peered over my shoulder at my two companions, his eyebrows knitting together in question, studying them both intently and then returning his gaze to me, he nodded. He moved towards my two companions and did the same for Lydia, warming her hands, which she accepted with a sigh but Farkas declined the offer with a wary eye. He did not trust in the magic of mages or the Greybeards.

I hoped their presence would not be an issue. I knew that the Greybeards sometimes admitted the odd traveler to their fortress, who sought enlightenment and lodging in exchange for work, but I doubted that Farkas would volunteer without any prodding from me.

I was surprised when Farkas did volunteer his services and Lydia expressed an interest in doing some of the cooking while we were staying. I thought that perhaps it was the thin air that had somehow influenced them. That or the fact that the Greybeards were such impressive figures to both of them. Master Borri seemed to be quite taken with Farkas. Perhaps it was some traces of the lingering beast within, or maybe it was just Farkas and his loveable personality that eventually brought you around to his side.

We were ushered to the dining area where an array of foods had been set out almost as if they had expected us to arrive at the time we precisely had. Then again, these men of the mountain knew all.

We waited for them to be seated then began to feast on the sumptuous soup and breads that sat directly in front of us.

There was no speaking, not until the meal was finished and besides, the Greybeards rarely spoke as their voices were filled with such power.

I finished my soup and bread then ate the seared slaughter fish and baked potatoes and grilled leeks. Each bite a cacophony of delicious tastes that outdid the last.

Master Wulfgar and Einarth disappeared and returned with a tray laden with sweet rolls and my mouth watered with expectation at the flavor of the first bite.

I lifted one of the warm golden treats to my mouth and was suddenly overcome with such feelings of bliss. This here, right now was perfection, as much as perfection could be found. I felt at peace, not afraid, or sad, or full of anything other than blissful peace.

I laid down the roll, and from my knapsack that was sitting at my feet, I withdrew the horn that I had been sent to retrieve.

Master Arngeir smiled warmly and bowed his head as did Master Borri, Wulfgar and Einarth.

“You have succeeded. This is the final part of your test in becoming the Dragonborn. There is yet one more thing for us to do and that is to offer you the final word of the shout that you already know part of. Come, follow us.”

The Greybeards stood and began to move out of the dining area. It was now or never. I took a deep breath and asked the question that I had come to find the answer to.

“Before we go, there is one thing, that I must ask. Do you know of the shout that will bring down the dragons?”

You would have thought that I had asked for the impossible. That I had done something that was so wrong.

All four of the Masters turned to stare at me and they looked to one another then back at me.

I felt a deep chill in the room that we stood in and I wish the floor at that moment could have opened up and swallowed me whole.

“And where did you hear of this? Who have you been speaking to?” Master Arngeir asked harshly, his eyes boring into me.

I swallowed the hard lump in my throat.

“Delphine, and Esbern, we went to Sky Haven Temple and saw the wall, there it showed me, the Dragonborn and the shout….”

His face contorted and behind his eyes I saw that I had disappointed him.

“Ah, so the Blades are interfering with what they do not understand and they again attempt at meddling in the affair of the Dragonborn. They have always tried to turn the Dragonborn from the path that he or she should follow to only assist them in their own pathetic needs and desires.”

I stood listening, wondering if I had stumbled into something more fearsome than a cave full of draugr, spiders and werewolves combined.

“No, they are not directing me onto a path to serve _their_ needs, Master Arngeir, I am asking this for me, I wish to save the world, nothing else. There is no ulterior motive, no one is controlling me. Now tell, me, I beg of you, do you know of this shout that can bring down the dragon, Alduin?”

Master Arngeir turned away, his back as straight as his resolve and left me standing. There was to be no answer. Apparently not at this time.

~~*~~

I sat by the fire, watching the orange and yellow flames as they licked ravenously at the edges of the wood on the hearth. In them I could see reflected the turmoil inside of myself. The dragons that I consumed, their souls within me, were at peace. I wondered how long that would last as I was sure the more word walls I encountered the more they would perhaps consume my own soul and silence it forever. I was not sure what I was becoming, but if there was any chance that they, the dragons inside, might assist me in completing the task that lay ahead, then I would use them. I needed an edge to fight this monster, Alduin. I needed that word that at this moment was being hidden from me.

Lydia and Farkas who sat near me in silence, were both not sure what to say under the circumstances. They remained silent but attentive to me.

When Master Arngeir had left me standing alone, his silence was more than deafening. And that was to say a great deal in a place full of silence.

I chewed my bottom lip and brushed the hair from my eyes as I thought on what I might possibly do, how I might influence Master Arngeir. I had no idea of where else to go, who else to turn to. The only place I thought I could learn the shout was now shut fast to me, but I would not stop. I was startled from my thoughts when Master Borri appeared and motioned for me to follow him. I rose my chair, my heart beginning to hammer in my chest.

Farkas laid one hand on my arm and smiled. I was glad that both he and Lydia were with me, their friendship meant a great deal to me.

They remained behind while I went to see what, if perhaps, my punishment might be.

I followed Borri along the stone corridor and out into the courtyard where the three others stood waiting.

Master Arngeir bowed stiffly to me.

I could tell by his stiffness that he was still angry with me, but there was something in his eyes that I could not quite decipher.

“You have the last of the words to the shout to learn and then, you will go and meet the Master of our order. He sits high atop the mountain and he will assist you in what it is that you seek.”

I was stunned to say the least.

~~*~~

Ice wraiths appeared out of the heavy laden mists of ice that strove to hinder my passage to the top of the mountain where this Master awaited my arrival. Razor sharp, moving quickly in and out of the mists, hissing at me, they only cemented my purpose deeper. I would not be halted in my mission.

I completed my dance with what was hopefully the last of the ice wraiths and passed the body of a goat that had the misfortune of getting in their way.

As I stepped between the last of the tall stone pillars and from the grip of the icy winds that were tempted to blow me off the mountain, the air suddenly cleared and I saw before me the familiar sight of one of the black walls that I had come to be accustomed with.

I walked towards it, oblivious to the fact that my movement was being scrutinized from overhead, and I did not startle from my path, until the thudding and jostling of wings landed behind me.

In a flash, I was in stance, weapon at the ready to fight the beast that had so dared to choose that moment to stop me from meeting Master Paarthurnax. He was large and from the looks of him, he appeared to be very old, older than any of the dragons I had encountered thus far. His scales were grey and in some sections, I could see the mar from battles fought long ago. He may have appeared as this, but yet I sensed in him a great strength and deep wisdom only learned through his age. His eyes were as clear as the day was bright and I could see myself reflected in them. I lowered my weapon and sheathed it, then waited to see what the outcome of this meeting would be.

“Drem Yol Lok. Greetings, wunduniik, traveller.”

I was, at first, taken aback by his grasp of the word, _greetings_ , and wondered if this, by chance, was some form of trickery by the Master that I sought.

“Greetings.” I extended, in case this was a test to further my standing as Dragonborn.

The dragon shuffled his wings and lowered his head down until it was level with my own head. I could feel the breath from his nostrils and there lingered the smell of fire.

“Zu’u Paarthunrnax. Who are you? What brings you to my strunmah, my mountain?”

I blinked, stepping back in disbelief, my mind wheeling at the thought that this dragon, however unbelievable was who I was seeking. That this creature of horror was in fact the Master that the Greybeards had sent me blindly to see. I shook myself and answered with who I was and my reason for coming to his mountain.

The dragon bobbed his head as he listened to me. Paarthurnax went onto explain, that before we could continue, there were certain formalities that must be concluded before an exchange as to what I was looking for could be started. I was puzzled by this. Were all dragons so proper and formal?

He turned and shouted at the word wall, a gout of fire striking it. There on the wall the faint glowing’s of a word began to appear.

I investigated the word that now called to me and as I did, Paarthurnax informed that it was a gift. It was the word Yol - Fire.

Paarthurnax then urged me to understand the shout as he did and to greet him as if I were a dragon and not a mere joor – a mere mortal.

I turned and shouted to him, engulfing him in the flame of my Thu’um and he nodded his head in satisfaction at my demonstration.

When the formalities were concluded, I asked the question that was foremost in my mind.

“Do you know of this shout that I am looking for?”

“Alduin and the Dovahkiin appear at the same tiid, time. I have endured all the ages in wait for Alduin to return. I do not know of this Thu’um as it was in your tongue, created by joor, mere mortal, to fight against the dov. You need to go to the Tiid-Ahraan, the time wound here on the Monahven, the mountain and read a Kel, an Elder Scroll, that will open a portal to the wound and there in the vod, the past, you will learn the word that you are searching for.”

“An Elder Scroll? Where is this scroll that I must read? Do you have it?”

Paarthurnax shook his head.

“Nid, no. Perhaps Master Arngeir can assist you in that.”

I bowed my head and thanked Master Paarthurnax. I told him that I would return and then we would see about this shout.

As I began my descent back down to High Hrothgar I wondered about the dragon I had met on the mountain. He was an anomaly and I wondered if there were others like him out there that I had yet to meet. I hoped so.


	37. Scroll Hunting

 

“And this…dragon told you this?”

Lydia sank down on the hard seat situated behind her and looked at me in disbelief.

I knew exactly how she felt. I could still see the dragon as he landed and dropped his snout down to my face. Not exactly the position one would necessarily want to find themselves in, though it did turn out favorably. I shuddered to think what might have happened if…

Farkas was pacing around the room with his hands clasped behind his back, growling slightly. I was sure he was angry with me for not including him in my trek up the mountain to face the dragon.

I shook my head; I was not sure where I was going to find this scroll that I was seeking. Master Arngeir could offer no help either.

I continued with my explanation of what I had learned.

“Apparently, the three that had fought against Alduin had read a scroll that opened a portal and sent him into it. I need to find that scroll and to read it so that I can open some rip in time and see what the shout was that they used. There are no records of it anywhere here, in High Hrothgar, and even the dragon did not know what it was.”

Lydia looked up at me a smile broaching her face.

“Well, if anyone might know of this, would surely those damn mages at the college up in Winterhold know of its’ existence?”

I stared at her in astonishment, of course, if any one knew of the scrolls it would be them.

“You would think that they would. Looks like we are heading to Winterhold, Farkas.”

Farkas stopped his pacing and snorted. “Great, more cold, and more snow.”

~~*~~

Winterhold sat on the edge of a deep chasm overlooking the sea, buffeted by chilling breezes that kicked up adding to a pitiful looking place. Once a proud and thriving city, it had been destroyed, in what some of the locals argued, was a result of the misguided and dangerous antics of the college of misfits. The bitterness between the college and the city was thick as it had ever been.

Our arrival to the city was greeted with suspicion, the locals probably believing that we were just some more students. They stared openly at us as we strode to the stairs that lead to the college. Our entrance to the college was blocked by an Altmer, who queried us on our reason for attempting to enter the college, and who was adamant that I perform a spell before gaining entrance. I explained to her that I was not there to join, but merely to speak to someone who could assist me in securing that which I was seeking. She did not seem to care as to the reason for my persistent quest to enter the college.

She kept eyeing Farkas, who was trying his best not to intimidate her, but he was failing miserably which did not help our situation in the least.

Farkas, hands on hips, protested loudly that one would think that the Dragonborn would be allowed to enter the college, but even that admission did not seem to sway her in the lightest.

After a further moment of hesitation, I told her that I would offer up what I could do, and after my lending her a taste of my Thu’um, she reluctantly allowed me entrance to the college, stating that if I were to cause any disturbances that the Arch-Mage would likely view this as a threat, not to mention, I would not only be chastised, I would also most likely be seriously dealt with in some other manner. She did her best to sound threatening, but somehow I was beyond the point of feeling her attempt.

_So much for being the Dragonborn. Apparently not all were impressed with my skill._

Lydia strode beside me, reaching out one hand she halted my progress inquiring as to what perhaps might happen, when we inquired about the scroll, and that they saw it a threat.

I studied her for a moment, whilst we stood on the stone bridge that led us to the front gate of the college wondering that myself.

Surely this, Arch-Mage, would grant us what it was that we sought under the circumstances. Even the college could recognize the threat imposed by the dragons. But then again, how would feel about the Dragonborn entering their college? Would they see this as a threat too?

~~*~~

“An Elder Scroll eh? You think I have one of those just laying around and would be willing to hand it over to you?”

It was not the Arch-Mage we were sent do deal with, but rather one Urag gro-Shub, the Orc mage librarian, and more of a gruff watchdog I would say than other that I had ever the pleasure of meeting. He studied me as my companions and I studied him, his eyes growing narrower by the minute.

_I can see this is going to be much harder than first anticipated._

“Is there _anything_ I can do to convince you that this is _absolutely_ vital to the well- being of all of Tamriel?”

Urag gro-Shub reached into a recess behind the desk he was currently sitting at and withdrew a chunk of bread. He studied it, then began to nibble on the bread. Obviously, he had other things on his mind that were of more importance.

I grew impatient.

“For the love of Mara, can you help me or not?!”

_Maybe that was a bit too gruff._

He paused for a moment and sighed.

“Do you think I have one of that that you are looking for just laying around? And if I did have one, do you think I would hand it over to you just because you claim to be the Dragonborn?”

Farkas grunted as he moved away from my side. “Oh no, not again.”

_Fine, then, if you won’t listen to that maybe you will listen to this._

I smiled sweetly at the Orc mage and stepped back a few paces and in the lightest of ways gave him a taste of my Thu’um.

His eyes widened as papers went flying and his bread was taken from his hand. As I stepped forward and leaned against the counter, Lydia folded her arms behind me and offered this to him.

“She is _the_ Dragonborn and it was _the_ Greybeards themselves that sent her to you seeking this scroll. Now, you would not want her to return to them empty-handed and _you_ be the cause of her failure at saving Tamriel now, would you? Imagine how the history books will portray you.”

Lydia smiled sweetly and winked at me.

Urag gro-Shub hesitated for a moment, setting the bread down, he had retrieved from the floor beside him, and lifted his frame from the chair he was resting upon. His eyes narrowed into two tiny slits and for a second I thought that he was going to cuff me. Instead, he moved away to a book case and withdrew a key from the folds of his robe and opened the case. He returned to me and set down two books. He held his hand over them and snarled at me.

“Here you go. Try not to spill anything on them.”

I thanked him profusely and moved away to sit at a small table to study the books.

One was titled – ‘ _Ruminations on the Elder Scrolls’_ and the other was – ‘ _Effects of the Elder Scrolls’._

The latter of the two explained what the hazards would be if one was foolish enough to read the Elder Scrolls unguarded and uneducated. Apparently there were a few groups that had found a way to do such a thing, and by luck that group resided in Tamriel and were known as the Cult of the Ancestor Moth – a group of that devote a serious amount of time studying the scrolls and the protection one would need to decipher the contents contained within the Elder Scroll.

I read through the first book and was no more enlightened by it than when I had stepped foot into the library in the first place.

I mentioned this to Urag gro-Shub who just snorted at me.

“That was written by Septimus Signus. He is a specialist in Elder Scroll lore. Unfortunately, he is not at the college as he is studying some Dwemer artifact and therefore cannot assist you. Unless you wish to travel to where he is now, there is nothing else that I can assist you with.”

~~*~~

Farkas drew his cloak around his body and looked over at me, his eyes narrowing. I knew what he was thinking before he even opened his mouth to say it to me. Damn snow. Why did it have to be another location buried in snow?

I shrugged my shoulders and laughed out loud as Lydia sank to her knees and chuffed at me through chattering teeth.

“This Septimus had better be there when we get there, and he better have something warm to drink. I am half frozen through.”

I nodded in agreement and pushed on through the blizzard that had suddenly decided to descend upon us. It was as if something was trying to block our way, to impede my discovery. Could it be that the gods were not on my side? Or perhaps it was one of the daedra in their attempt at finding some amusement?

We finally after much struggle, found that what we sought and as I pushed open the door to the Outpost, I was struck with a strange feeling.

We found Septimus, pacing, before what appeared to be an extremely large Dwemer construct that was half buried in the snow and ice. He was deep in thought muttering to himself. He noticed our intrusion and I asked him if he might assist us with the scroll that we sought.

His explanation was about as convoluted as the text in the book that he had written and I felt that I was not going to find any answers from this strange man.

He informed me that he needed assistance and that if I helped him, he would thus assist me.

I knew that this was not going to be easy, but how hard of an undertaking was he going to ask of us?

I agreed but stated that my mission was of the utmost importance. He agreed to the terms and thus the information I sought was delivered unto me. He thrust into my hands two items that I would require along with an explanation as to what each of them was, then he gave me directions as to where I was headed.

I thanked him and we left the man as how we how found him; pacing and muttering incoherently.

~~*~~

“Blackreach? It does not sound like the sort of place that I want to go to. It might be full of treacherous enemies and all sorts of things that I do not like.”

I laughed at Lydia as we trudged through waist high snow. Farkas ploughed on ahead of us, trying his best to cut a path through the snow for us. I could tell by his current mood that he was not of the best spirits. Plus, the fact that I heard the odd foul expletive coming from his direction. Perhaps I might change that once we arrived at our destination.

~~*~~

Alftland lay to the southwest of Winterhold, and once we arrived there we discovered the ruins that lay above the snow. Far beneath us it delved and that was our destination.

Someone had been here recently ahead of us as we found evidence pointing in that direction. Through icy tunnels, dripping water, pools of blood we walked and on the wind, a voice came to us. It sounded as if there were an argument happening and as we drew nearer we discovered a lone crazed Khajiit, standing over the body of another, axe dripping with blood. The Khajiit sighted us and instantly attacked us while screaming that we were the ones who had stolen his moon sugar.

That was not all that greeted us from the shadows as we moved through the Dwarven ruins. Dwarven spiders followed soon after then we met the Falmer. Blinded and yet not so blind they spilled out of hiding and greeted us with arrow and spell. Once a proud race, they were now reduced to these horribly twisted creatures that had failed to see what the dwarves had in store for them. Avoiding pressure plates and trip wires we forged on ahead until we came to a large chamber where we quickly disposed the Falmer that sought us out.

Up the stairs we ran and halted as the floor groaned and steam hissed.

Freeing itself from where it stood, a mighty Dwarven centurion awoke and advanced towards us. We spread out, each taking a position that would allow us an advantage. Farkas and I nocked arrow to bow and took turns shooting the giant mechanical construct while Lydia using her new fire spell assaulted it from a higher position. It came at us, its hulking bulk, causing the ground beneath our feet to shake at its weight and hissing steam that I was sure would melt one in an instant.

Farkas leapt from his position and changed tactics now keeping as close to its legs as possible, bashing away at the metal, distracting it. Lydia took up arrow and aimed for what seemed to be its heart, a swirling red mass at its’ center. The battle raged hot and I thought for a moment that Farkas might lose, but his inner strength and determination and my use of the Thu’um brought the hulking metal monster down. It crashed to the floor, sending up chunks of stone a shower of steam, the red swirling core, slowly dissipating.

On the construct, we found a key that we presumed open the gate that barred our way.

From inside the room we could hear voices raised in argument and then were witness to the killing of one of the owners of the voices. The remaining owner saw us and attacked but fell to Farkas’ swift blade. Lydia claimed a shield with several jutting spikes on it located in the center. She hoisted it onto her back and named it, _Targe of the Blooded_ , as it was covered in blood.

I located the precise mechanism in the center of the room that Septimus had told me to look for and took one of the items he had passed to me and applied it into the mechanism. With a shudder, a set of stairs was revealed to us and nodding we ascended to Blackreach.

~~*~~

We were not prepared for what awaited us within the bowels of Alftland. I doubted anyone from the surface could have been. The majestic magnificence of Blackreach was astounding to say the least.

Giant luminous mushrooms towered above us, against an ebony background dotted with some kind of florescence plant or creature, I was unsure of. The sound of Nirnroot ringing faintly came to our ears, then came the sound of a few mechanical constructs that threatened to impede our advancement. They rolled forward, gold balls, blades and steam, cold and calculating, but not impervious to our assault. They were not alone though, soon a few Falmer appeared, launching their poison tipped arrows at us and then, from the darkness, what I soon would dread perhaps the most. They crawled forward and swept towards us, black, multi-legged creatures, pinchers snapping, odd-shaped and making strange noises as they advanced towards us; those dreadful chaurus creatures I would find out later to be, that launched venom at us.   
Lydia immediately loosened her flames towards them, while I sent a volley of arrows into their hard shell exterior. Farkas cut them down as if he were hacking at firewood. They fell amongst our feet, but I sensed there would be more. Along the edge of the road we stood on, I noted the piles of glowing spheres, that to me resembled eggs and I wondered exactly how many of the creatures there were down in the depths of Blackreach. I, for one, did not intend to stick around any longer and find out.

We ran after that, following along the stone path, avoiding traps and only stopping to answer the volley of arrows that threatened to cut us off from our destination.

Finally, we found ourselves standing in front of the tower that we searched for and hopefully inside what we ultimately desired.

~~*~~

We crossed the stone bridge and followed down a set of stairs that led us to a lift that took us to the tower. We arrived at a corridor that opened to a chamber that looked if someone had made it a temporary home. Warily we searched for the inhabitant, but found no one. On the other side of the chamber stood another door and as we advanced towards it, I hoped it would lead us to what we needed to find. It did in a way. Following the sloping ramp up we came to stand in a large chamber and in the center, was a large dwarven construct. 

The construct, which was unknown to us, was the Oculory, the device built by the dwarves for what purpose that was unclear. It would have made even old Septimus stop his pacing to study it in silent awe. As we rounded the last of the ramp to the top, we discovered four buttons and a receptacle with an indent that matched the shape of the cube I held in my possession. Here to was where I laid the cube and watched as the ceiling of the room opened.

Pressing the buttons in sequence, nothing happened and I felt disheartened that we had come all this way only to be thwarted by some mechanical construct that was beyond our understanding. I slammed my hand down into one of the buttons in frustration and cursed loudly and was greeted with a whining sound. I watched as the lenses moved into position, light spilling down to hit the lenses that resided on the floor. The cube I had received from Septimus that I had placed into its receptacle glowed and was embedded with the knowledge that he sought and the container that was suspended from the ceiling lowered thus enabling me to reach it. It opened as I descended and resting within, shining like some jewel in a crown, the Elder Scroll that we sought.


	38. What Was Will Be

Heavy snows battered against me, as I made the dangerous return climb, up to where Paarthurnax awaited me. As soon as I stepped forward, he landed and raised his head, his snout smelling the winds and what I carried wrapped in linen and carefully carried on my back.

"Ah, you have it. The Kel - the Elder Scroll. Tiid kreh... qalos. Time shudders at its touch. There is no question. You are doom-driven. Kogaan Akatosh. The very bones of the earth are at your disposal. Go, fulfill your destiny. Take the Scroll to the Time-Wound. Do not delay for Alduin will be coming."

Stepping over to the time wound, I unwrapped the scroll. There was a small chance that I could lose my sight as I was not one of the monks that had for years carefully prepared themselves for such an event as I was about to undertake. But then again, I was the Dragonborn and I had a feeling that because of that and the time wound, it would protect me from harm.

As I unrolled the scroll and read the contents, I felt a sudden shift in pressure around me. My vision blurred for a moment then I felt myself floating on the winds of time and I was transported back.

The edges of my sight blurred and my hearing was not what it was normally. Sounds were stronger here and the smells of the time choked me. Blood, fire, the stench of burning flesh, the overhead screams of dragons, then on the cusp of the wind came the voices that I sought.

Hakon One-Eye and Gormlaith Golden-Hilt, engaged in splendid battle, fighting a dragon atop the Throat of the World appeared before me. I was rooted to the spot; I was only a watcher, not a participant. I had travelled from my time back to the Merethic Era.

"Gormlaith! We're running out of time! The battle..." Hakon cried out.

"Daar sul thur se Alduin vokrii. Today Alduin's lordship will be restored. But I honor your courage. Krif voth ahkrin. Die now, in vain." The dragon they fought shouted at them as it flapped a wing trying to quell their advancing fight.

Gormlaith and Hakon had rushed forward to attack and kill the dragon that had threatened them. After killing it they celebrated their victory, but their victory was not yet complete. They were awaiting the appearance of Alduin, who at this point, had failed to come to them. Of course, he knew what they were attempting, thus his sacrifice of those dragons that served him.

From behind me I heard a voice as Felldir the Old appeared and he joined their conversation.

"Why does Alduin hang back? We've staked everything on this plan of yours, old man." Hakon inquired.

Felldir looked to the skies.

"He will come. He cannot ignore our defiance. And why should he fear us, even now?"

Gormlaith proudly announced that four of his kin had fallen to her blade alone.

"But none have yet stood against Alduin himself. Galthor, Sorri, Birkir...our comrades, they lie still in death" Hakon added sadly.

"They did not have Dragonrend. Once we bring him down, I promise I _will_ have his head." Gormlaith assured him.

"You do not understand. Alduin cannot be slain like a lesser dragon. He is beyond our strength. Which is why I brought the Elder Scroll." Felldir held out the scroll.

"Felldir! We agreed not to use it!" Hakon cried aloud.

Felldir shook his head. "I never agreed. And if you are right, I will not need it."

Hakon thumped his chest, his voice edged with confidence. "No. We will deal with Alduin ourselves, here and now."

Gormlaith interrupted pointing to the skies. "We shall see soon enough. Alduin, he approaches!"

Alduin landed at that moment on the top of the word wall, his red eyes flaming as he surveyed the carnage around him. Smoke billowed from his nostrils.

"Meyye! Tahrodiis aanne! Him hinde pah liiv! Zu'u hin daan!"

Gormlaith and Hakon ran forward, weapons raised high. "Let those that watch from Sovngarde envy us this day!"

I heard the words soon after, shouted towards the black brute and realized at that moment what they were. Their essence and meaning being pulled into me. It was the shout that I had searched for. The Dragonrend. It joined those that I already knew, my chance now to overthrow the monstrous black beast.

Alduin, from his loft overhead, screamed out and tried to rise further to the skies, but he failed in his attempt. Down to the ground he landed with a giant thud, his eyes if possible flashing even redder than before.

Nivahriin joorre! What have you done? What twisted Words have you created?! Tahrodiis Paarthurnax! My teeth to his neck! But first... dir ko maar. You will die in terror, knowing your final fate... To feed my power when I come for you in Sovngarde!"

Gormlaith sprang forward, her sword dancing in front of her. "If I die today, it will not be in terror. You feel fear for the first time, worm. I see it in your eyes. Skyrim will be free!"

But it was not to be for her to strike the beast down this time. Alduin snatched her with his jaws, shaking her like a rag doll and tossing her limp body to the side.

Hakon yelled out. "No, damn you! It's no use! Use the Scroll, Felldir! Now!"

Felldir unrolled the scroll as he began to speak. "Hold, Alduin on the Wing! Sister Hawk, grant us your sacred breath to make this contract heard! Begone, World-Eater! By words with older bones than your own we break your perch on this age and send you out! You are banished! Alduin, we shout you out from all our endings unto the last!"

Alduin looked shocked as he heard the words and felt the effects of their meaning. His final words hung in the air as he disappeared from sight.

"Faal Kel...?! Nikriinne..."

 

~~*~~

I felt the air press against me, my vision began to change again, the edges growing blurry and then the center. My ears rang and I felt myself weaken. I passed from time to time and returned to that of my own.

Overhead I heard the wings of a dragon, felt the rush of air touching my skin and thought it to be Paarthurnax, but it was not.

 _He_ had come, perhaps summoned by the voices from old, or maybe he was close and sensed a change in the rift of time. He came at me, appearing from behind the sun, his black scales glinting, making his appearance that more threatening. He hovered in the air, his head turning from side to side as the last fragments of the time wound closed. Swooping down and landing, he shouted at me.

"Bahloki nahkip sillesejoor. My belly is full of the souls of your fellow mortals, Dovahkiin. Die now and await your fate in Sovngarde!"

But it was Paarthurnax who answered him.

"Lost funt. You are too late, Alduin!”

He then shouted to me.

“Dovahkiin! Use Dragonrend, if you know it!"

I opened my mouth and released the shout, but Alduin was faster than I and he easily dodged it.

The two dragons lifted higher into the sky, each shouting at one another. Claws outstretched, necks weaving to and fro as they danced a dance of death in the air. Alduin taunted me from overhead perhaps trying to usurp my confidence. He roared and swooped down towards me, flames surrounding me, but I was unscathed.   
I stood, defiant, ignoring his taunts and focused my attention solely on him. I needed a clear shot if I were to use the shout Dragonrend and be able to force him to the ground.

The two dragons continued to circle overhead, snapping jaws, ripping at each other. Alduin bathed Paarthurnax in a blast of fire and Paarthurnax returned his own blast of fire.

Finally, I saw my chance and I released the shout hitting the brute. He hovered for a moment then down to the ground he came, landing with seething anger. His tail thumping the ground, casting up clouds of snow, shaking the ground beneath my feet, causing me to lose my balance.

"I have feasted on many greater than you. You will pay for your defiance!" His voice edged with such arrogance and confidence.

I launched my attack with arrows then shouted again keeping the beast on the ground. His neck twisted my way as I leapt around him, striking as soon I saw an opening with Iyce.

He in turn snapped his jaws at me, trying to catch me, but this day was mine, in that I was certain.

Shouting again I landed one hard blow and he rose up on his hind quarters, shrieking louder than I had ever heard.

"Meyz mul, Dovahkiin. You have become strong. But I am Al-du-in, Firstborn of Akatosh! Mulaagi zok lot! I cannot be slain here, by you or anyone else! You cannot prevail against me. I will outlast you... joor!"

The Dragonrend spell had worn off and before I could gather the energy to shout him down, he lifted up and rose to the sky, winging away as fast as he could.

Paarthurnax landed behind me, his breath rustling the back of my head. I turned and looked at this dragon and dipped my head in respect.

“Now what?” I asked breathlessly as I slumped against him.

Paarthurnax dragged my scent in through his nostrils and lowered his muzzle down to me. I reached out and gently stroked it.

“Dragonsreach was once used to hold a dovah. I suspect that it can again.”

I cocked my head to one side listening to Paarthurnax as he told me the story of King Olaf One-Eye and the dragon, Numinex, that he captured and held in the First Era. He went on to suggest that perhaps the Jarl might let me ensnare and hold a dragon that might be able to assist me in concluding my fight against Alduin who had left to lick his wounds.

I laughed at the thought of the new Jarl of Whiterun letting me use Dragonsreach to hold a dragon, but perhaps he did owe me a favor.

I laid my head against the giant muzzle for a moment and then placed a kiss upon it. Paarthurnax chuffed like a dog and I took it that he was happy.

“I will return my friend; you have my word.”

He dipped his head and nodded. “That you will, Dovahkiin.”


	39. A Questionable Request or Two

Jarl Gray-Mane sat on his throne in Dragonsreach, surveying all that entered his court. Beside him, Brill, his steward and Olfina, his housecarl, stood tall and proud. Her narrow eyes watching those that came with their requests, or their offerings or their praises for the Jarl while he held court.

I stood at the back, leaning against a pillar while Lydia stood fussing beside me.

“Calm yourself Lydia, it is not like he does not know us. He was and still is a Companion. It will be fine.”

Lydia weakly smiled at me and then continued with her fussing.

I sighed and wished I had taken Farkas with me, but he was sorely needed at Jorrvaskr to deal with some of the new whelps and Vilkas had things that needed to be discussed.

It was our turn and as I strode forward, Olfina smiled warmly at us. I prodded Lydia and nodded to Olfina.

“See, she is glad to see us.” I said under my breath as we bent to Jarl.

“Ah, Phenarie, my Thane, it has been too long since you have graced us here in Whiterun with your presence. And Lydia, how are you? Is Phenarie treating you well?”

Lydia smiled. “Aye, my Jarl, she is a fair and just Thane, and a good friend.”

“Not to mention she is the Dragonborn.”

I turned as both Vilkas and Farkas appeared behind us. They bowed to the Jarl and then stood quietly at our sides. I smiled at them and nodded.

Vignar looked at the four of us standing there before him and it was almost if I could sense what he was thinking. It was one thing for me to come before him, but now the Harbinger of the Companions?

“I sense that this is not merely a social visit, is it. This only means that something of great importance is to be discussed.”

Jarl Gray-Mane motioned for Olfina to step forward, and as she did, she raised her voice.

“Let all those that have business note, that for now the Jarl will not be seeing you. Please, I urge you to return to your homes and businesses and return tomorrow if the Jarl decrees it.”

The people that were waiting for their turn to speak to the Jarl, grumbled and shot glances in our direction, but they dared not to go against the wishes of the Jarl’s housecarl or the Jarl himself.

Once the hall was emptied and all that remained was but a few guards, Olfina and the Jarl himself, we were bid to approach the throne.

Vignar rose from his seat, stretching and motioned for us to follow him to the long table in the center of the hall. Two servants appeared with trays laden with an assortment of meats, cheeses and bread. Wine and ale were brought and we sat and partook of the feast.

“Now, tell me Phenarie, what is it that you so desire.”

I smiled and began to tell my story.

~~*~~

Vignar sat quietly, watching me over the rim of his flagon. He had not said anything whilst I told him of my demands, nor did he show any emotion at all. I wondered if he was studying this from all angles, the pros, the cons and the final end result.

“Phenarie,” he began gently and slowly, “I would gladly assist you, but with the war raging on and it coming back again ever closer to Dragonsreach, I feel that I would be allowing too much of a risk to the citizens should the Imperials and that Tullius try to retake Whiterun. Now, if there were perhaps, a way to call a temporary truce, then I might allow this…dragon to be captured.”

I looked at Vignar and winced. He wanted me to obtain a truce? Even if I could obtain one, as soon I stepped foot in Windhelm, it could possibly be the last anyone saw of me for a very long time. If I could manage to do this, it would have to be done carefully and would have to be held somewhere where none of the parties involved would dare to perpetrate any under handed dealings. I knew immediately where that exact place was, the only bug in the plan was that those that I needed to ask that of were not going to be too happy.

“Alright, you will have truce, temporary or otherwise, but I must have your word that you will allow the dragon to be captured here.”

“You have my word, Phenarie.”

~~*~~

“You want to do what?”

Master Arngeir looked at me then sat down on the nearby chair, his attention diverted to some urgent correspondence just delivered by a courier who still stood waiting outside the main doors of High Hrothgar. He was too terrified to enter within the walls of the monastery.

“I know you will not be happy about this, but if this goes as planned, then I will be that much closer to ending this threat. What can I do to appeal to your inner sense of what is the right path to follow? You told me not so long ago to follow the path that would lead me to a better understanding of the teachings that you taught me of. That is what I am trying to do. Master, I want to fulfil my destiny as the Dragonborn, and if this is what is required, then who are you to stop me?”

I lowered my head and Master Arngeir shuffled away only to return a moment later. He laid one hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

“You certainly have a gift, my child. Very well, go to the parties involved, but caution them strongly. I will not tolerate any of their misdoings while they are here.”

“I would not be surprised if the Blades get wind of this.” I stated knowing full well that it would not be too long before Delphine and probably Esbern would show up at the front doors with their input to the process.

~~*~~

I went to Solitude first, with my stomach in knots, and my palms sweating.

I was met with little show of force or restraint, and was actual escorted kindly to see General Tullius.

He was in the war room with his second in command, Legate Rikki, and they were in the middle of a heated argument over who else, but Ulfric.

I cleared my throat, watching the guard beside me raise one eyebrow. I did not have the time, nor the patience, to waste it on pleasantries at the moment.

I cleared my throat loudly, my impatience greatly showing on my face.

“Are we in the habit of letting anyone walk into Castle Dour?” Tullius queried of the guard at my side, as he spun around at our intrusion.

I stepped forward. “I came of my own free will, yes, and he had nothing to do with it. I doubted he could have even stopped me if he had tried. You know who I am, I am sure, and you might be inclined to listen to what it is that I am here to ask of you. And aye, I did say ask of you, because I am showing you that much courtesy.”

Tullius glared at me while Rikki smirked. I doubted that he was used to those he thought that were beneath him speaking so honestly.

“I know who you are.” He responded curtly. “What is it that you seem to think that I can do to help the Dragonborn, if that is who you really are?”

_Do you want a taste of my Thu’um you pompous ass. You, I could smash you without even lifting a finger. Killer of those that meant to me more than you could know._

Aye, it was him, the killer of my sister and yet, I maintained control. How I do not know. It may have not been his arrow, or even his blade that had closed the eyes of my sister, but he, he stood for all that I despised.

“I have a message from the Greybeards. You know them, don’t you? There is to be a peace council at High Hrothgar and you will attend. By their decree.”

Tullius laughed. “And if I don’t attend?”

I smiled. “Well, then, I guess we will deal with Ulfric and I am sure he is willing to listen to reason.”

Tullius stepped forward close enough for me to see the tiny hairs he had missed when shaving. He scowled and puffed out his cheeks. He was posturing like a dragon about to release a torrent of fire, but he forgot, I had faced several dragons and had walked away unsinged.

“Ulfric will be there?”

I nodded, keeping the smile on my face.

“Legate, we are going to High Hrothgar. Prepare yourself.”

~~*~~

Windhelm. What can one say about it that has not been said or is not known already? I hated the look of the city as I stood on the long stone bridge that spanned the icy cold murky river below. The sound of the wind shrieked like some mad woman who was lost in the snow that continuously fell and blew around me.

Shivering, I pulled my cloak tighter to my body and proceeded to cross the bridge on horse. I reined up at the steps outside the door and peered down into the guards’ anxious looking face. I was not sure if he was going to faint or run away as he seemed awfully nervous at my approach on the back of Queen Alfsigr. I did not blame him; she could seem quite intimidating.

I dismounted and handed him the reins and smiled as I gave him an apple.

“That is for her, in case she decides that she doesn’t like you. Watch your feet, she likes to stand on them with all of her weight.”

I pressed on through the doors and into the dismal looking city that had obviously seen better days. One would have thought that Ulfric would have taken more pride in the city that Ysgramor himself had founded.

I strode to the palace that was not in any better shape and entered into the den of bear. Or in this case hopefully the bear cub.

The palace stood there, awaiting my presence like some giant monster, beckoning with every intention of slaying me. I shoved those thoughts out of my head and entered through the doors.

Ulfric, Jarl of Windhelm, sat upon his throne, one hand casually laid on his chest, the other bent at the elbow and holding a mug of ale or mead, or perhaps the blood of someone other than myself that had abandoned his quest. I shook that aside and advanced towards him.

He did not move, nor flinch but continued to stare down at me from his lofty perch, his eyes narrowing and his mouth then twitched slightly. He lifted the mug and drained the last of the dregs of liquid and I watched as a few drops fell on his chin.

He then stood and motioned for the guards to come forth and they did, creeping up behind me slowly, their weapons held out in front of them, their eyes full of fear at what stood before them.

I watched them with interest, not making any sudden moves and I waited. Let Ulfric make his move, then and only then would I make mine.

“So, the traitor has returned no doubt seeking forgiveness. But no forgiveness will be offered to the likes of those that turn tail and abandon their fellow comrades on the battlefield. That is the sign of a coward and I do not like cowards.”

I snorted and smiled.

“You say I am a coward? And what of you, Ulfric? Are you not a coward, hiding in here while those that serve you shed their blood for your little war? How many lives have you held in your hands only to let them fall to their end? How many sons and daughters have you killed directly or indirectly through your incessant need to prove that the size of your cock is bigger than Tullius’?”

“How dare you to speak to the Jarl in such a manner! Who do you think you are, you impudent child?”

I spun around to face my accuser, and met his glare with my own. It was Galmar Stone-Fist, Ulfric’s housecarl.

“I did not ask for your opinion did I? Oh, and I am the Dragonborn if you dare to ask me who I am. I thought you would remember that since you were one of the ones that wanted to use me to your ends.”

Galmar stopped and he flushed slightly.

I returned to face Ulfric who now was standing closer to me, his anger apparent.

“I have come here with a message, from the Greybeards. There is to be a peace council at High Hrothgar and _you_ are to attend.”

“What makes you think Ulfric will attend?” Galmar chided behind me.

“Oh he will no doubt be in attendance. General Tullius is so looking forward to it.”

I heard a gasp from Galmar and watched as Ulfric raised his hand to calm him.

“Tullius will be present? Are you sure, or is this one of your lies that you are spinning?”

“I have not lied to you Ulfric, I have been nothing but honest with you right from the start, something that you might not have been able to be with me. I was not the one that colored the truth for my own purpose. I joined your little war and I was there at Whiterun. Now I stand here and I am asking you, will you be there at High Hrothgar and join a war that is bigger than that which you are fighting? Can you set aside your convoluted and perhaps misconstrued reasons and do something that big? Or are you, what was it that you called me? Oh, aye, a coward?”

Ulfric’s lip curled upward and he sneered at me.

“How can I say no to the Greybeards offer to meet Tullius again and show that he is the true lap dog that he is to the Thalmor? I will be there.”


	40. A Dragon for a Prize

Once again, we climbed the seven thousand steps. Once again we braved the ice, the snow and the biting winds, and Farkas and Lydia had come with me, again.

We moved into the monastery and were greeted by Master Arngeir. He informed me that the delegations had arrived, with a few surprises. Apparently, Elenwen had found it, pertinent and necessary, to include herself as she deemed herself to be of such great importance and also to the fact that she was after all the High Emissary of the Thalmor. This immediately fanned the flames of distrust in Ulfric and Galmar not to mention Vignar who saw this as only a direct threat.

Ulfric shot me a dirty look and I shrugged my shoulders in response. I myself was not too happy to see her. After all, I did ruin her last party, and steal some dossiers from her, and oh not to mention a few of her guards might have succumbed to the edge of my blade. I wondered what her reaction would be when she saw me. I doubted it would be all warm and fuzzy, more like cold and grizzly. Well, I would be sure to watch my back lest she slip a dagger between my shoulder blades.

Tullius had also brought with him the still slighted Queen of Solitude, Elisif the Fair, who at the sight of Ulfric, almost rushed him with the intention of finishing him on the spot. She spat out some pretty nasty words at him, but he stood taking it in stride, a small smile at the corner of his mouth.

Esbern and Delphine had arrived, no doubt to ensure that their agenda would be front and foremost. Delphine nodded in my direction as she cast her eyes around the room we were in, probably sizing everyone up.

_I wondered what would happen if Delphine knew that seated just above her head was a dragon that was actually assisting me._

I suppressed a chuckle.

~~*~~

They stood, stiff and straight, anger on some of their faces as they threw barbs and insults at one another or smiles that reminded me of a cat who had licked the cream from the saucer set before the fire. Dredging up the past wrongs and misdeeds, blaming one another for the current issues that plagued them. Beating their chests and trying to prove who was stronger than who and who was worthier of any final prizes awarded here today.

Spoiled children, that was all that I saw before me, impudent spoiled children who only cared for their own causes and could not see further than the end of their noses. How was I going to do this? Make them see that if they did not come to some sort of truce, that they would ultimately find themselves with nothing to bicker over because there would be nothing left when Alduin finished.

I sat on my chair, my head in my hands listening to them argue, and as I did I grew more angry with them. The dragons flamed inside me, rising and I could not contain them any longer. The Thu’um came rushing up from inside me, pushing furiously at my throat, and I released it upon them.

The room fell silent as I rose to my feet. My eyes strayed to Master Arngeir and I could see his displeasure on his face. I knew that I should not have used my ability in such a way, but what was a mere taste of my voice compared to that of the world eaters?

One by one they sat lowering their heads, perhaps in realization that they were not acting as how one should on such occasion. Their eyes turned in my direction, edged with trepidation as I sat, and I looked at each one of them in turn.

“Can we get to the business at hand now?”

Master Arngeir sighed as he lowered himself to his chair and nodded.

“The Dragonborn has spoken. I hope that now we can continue and set aside our differences and focus on why we are gathered here.”

Ulfric opened his mouth then shut it, casting a wary eye in my direction, but it was Galmar who took up his position, launching a verbal attack at the presence of the elven witch, Elenwen.

I too inwardly questioned her true purpose at this meeting, knowing full well that she would not be so easily dismissed, but I felt that if perhaps she were not present, it might lead to a more relaxed atmosphere.

Master Arngeir put it to a vote, and Elenwen left the room, muttering something that I did not catch. If it were threats, well, I would deal with them later.

General Tullius, was the next one, to launch into a tirade starting with the Reach incident, what happened at Dark Water Crossing and his feelings that he was not afforded the opportunity of seeing Ulfric’s head fall under the headsman’s axe for his treason and the death of Torygg.

Ulfric stated nonchalantly that he had done nothing wrong, that he had challenged the young King to a duel and that he in turn had accepted knowing full well the consequences of his own actions.

“There was no murder.”

“You filthy liar! You did murder him! You shouted him to pieces!”

Elisif stood, fists clenching, teeth showing and barely managing to restrain herself from throwing the tankard that sat before her at Ulfric.

“Sit down, Elisif.”

Tullius commanded her.

If her eyes were daggers at that moment, Tullius would have been stabbed.

In a way, I understood her pain, sitting in the same room, at the same table with the man responsible for the pain in her heart. Ulfric Stormcloak, had been the one responsible for the death of her beloved. It did not matter what station in life they held, they were lovers, friends and to lose that, she now had to face the dark void alone. I glanced at General Tullius and knew how she felt to lose someone you love.

Someone once said to me that a feud they had with another family was as stupid as the war that raged on and I agreed. Did anyone else notice that if the war raged on, that the march of another war was being brought closer to the borders? That the threat was silently waiting and watching, biding their time?

Back and forth the quest for a treaty of peace went, back and forth the sides put forth their best effort at swaying the vote in their direction. I offered my opinion when queried and was met with both suspicion and trust depending on who I was siding with. But it was not until Esbern stood and delivered a speech that struck a chord within all present that the talks eventually came to a head and some arrangements were reached, though for sure exactly how much of it would be heeded was yet to be seen, but it was enough to guarantee my chance at ensnaring the dragon at Dragonsreach.

Once the talks were concluded and the members slowly dispersed, did I find myself cornered by Esbern and Delphine whose face was a glow with what I thought was satisfaction at the arrangements. Alas, not was such the case I soon discovered when she broached the subject that must have been the cause for her apparent gleeful state.

“I understand that you spoke to Paarthurnax, you do realize that he must be killed.”

I stared openly at her, dumbfounded and taken aback by her words. It was not so much the words themselves too that offended me, but the authoritative way in which she had spoken them to me as if she were commanding me to do such a thing. A thing that I had absolutely no intention of doing, no matter who it was that told me to. Paarthurnax was my ally and I counted him as a friend, not some monster that needed to be destroyed. If they so dared to lift a blade to him, then they would have to answer to me. I would willingly defend him.

“I will not and you will not harm in any way, do I make myself clear, Delphine? There is no reason to sentence him to death. He has been nothing but helpful and loyal. Do not make me repeat myself, it would not bode well for you.”

Delphine grimaced, her lips almost disappearing.

“Very well then, I guess we have nothing further to discuss. I don’t think that we have any further need to assist each other in the future. Consider this, Phenarie, the Blades might have been useful in the future to you, but you have just sealed that door shut.”

With that said, she turned on her heel and walked determinedly away with Esbern following on her heels muttering.

Farkas and Lydia crept to my elbow, watching the pair leave and Lydia gently whispered to me.

“They will be back, just watch and see. It is them that need you, not the other way around.”

I nodded my head, but inwardly, I knew I had just created an enemy.

~~*~~

 

The night sky was filled with a thousand or more dots of light. Each one set in place amongst the onyx sky. A faint breeze stirred the smoke from the braziers that lined the rim of the balcony that we stood on, I watched as they lazily drifted around me, casting me in a haze. Behind me, looming not too far from the ceiling was the apparatus that would hopefully hold the dragon that would soon be heading our way.

I gripped the cool smooth stones under my hands as I looked out over the landscape behind Dragonsreach. I called up my voice and I prepared myself to shout to the sky the name of the dragon that hopefully would assist us.

Leaning forward and sucking in as much air as I could, I opened my mouth and I shouted.

We waited, but only silence filled the night and no dragon answered my call. Had I shouted incorrectly? I tried again and still nothing. I sighed and gripped the stone wall afore me, struggling to find an answer to a riddle that I could not solve, when off in the distance I heard the familiar roar. Next came the sound of wings, and in a flash, something sped past us as we stood on the balcony in the darkness.

Was it Odaviing? Or perhaps it was that brute back to play games with us? Either way, we prepared ourselves for an assault.

Keening through the air, he came on, slipping through the air streams, creating a wake of air that threatened to steal the breath from our lungs. Arrows were released, swords raised and the assault on that which we could barely see began. I shouted again, calling him to me as a mother calls her child. Only this child was full of curiosity and maybe malice, I could not be sure of the greeting if we should meet finally.

He lessened his speed, now toying with us, hanging midair and breathing on us, the smell of fire, and smoke permeating from within. His eyes glowing in the moonlight from the twin moons that compared to his massive bulk at the moment made them seem like two small stones. From my vantage point I could see his chest rising and falling, in time with the beat of his wings. This time as I called him, he spotted me and the curiosity grew. He hovered for a brief moment then dropped edging his way towards the balcony until he landed with a thud and snort of smoke. On he came, crawling along like a giant snake in my direction. My own smile growing as he neared me. I called him again, ensuring that he would solely focus his attention on me and not the guards that took up positions ready to ensnare the giant winged beast.

“Joor, you have called me before you and I have bo-come. But I wonder at what cost. What is it that you yah-seek?”

It was too late, the apparatus came crashing down and before he had the chance to move, the mighty Odaviing was ensnared.

He released a torrent of fire engulfing one of the guards that had strayed too close to him and I heard the beast chuckle amidst the sounds of screaming.

“Enough! You will harm no others.”

I took up my stance in front of his jaws and stared at him not showing any fear.

He was my captive and now, now I could demand the answers that I sought.

“Foolish joor. You think I will not engulf you too?”

I shook my head. “If you attempt to do so, they will cut your head from your shoulders and it will be mounted along the other dragon that was held so long ago. That or else I will in turn give you a taste of that which I am sure you know I can do. Now, do we have a truce, Odaviing or not?”

I was greeted with a huge sigh and he grimaced.

“Very well then. I need your help and I do mean need. I know it above your kind to work with mine, but if Paarthurnax can, then I am sure that you can.”

Another snort and grumble this time. I know that dragons are proud and I hoped that in this case maybe a little respect of that would go a long way. I knelt to one knee before him and lowered my head.

“Please, I beg of you, Odaviing, help me save the world that we share.”

This must have appeared for a moment to be funny to him, because he began to chuckle loudly but then I think the seriousness that I exuded struck him. I was being honest before the great beast; I could not be anything else. I needed him to finish what Alduin had started.

“Rinik pruzah-very well, joor, I will aak-help you.”


	41. The Flight and Fight of A Dragon

I stood with Farkas and Lydia who both held one of my hands. Their faces said everything they were thinking, I tried to reassure them that I knew what I was doing. But inside, a gnawing feeling was growing, trying to take over and replace my confidence. I shoved it down, locking it away. This was my destiny and I alone must face Alduin. I would not let failure be an option for me.

I glanced at the dragon, that stood waiting for me, and wished that I had had a little more time. There was one more person that I had wished I had the chance to say goodbye to, in case it was that I was to fail. But I knew he would not walk through the doors of the palace and come to me. I hoped that if I returned he would be willing to see where our relationship might go. I smiled at the thought of his face and his blue eyes that gave me some comfort. It seemed a long time ago and that a great deal had passed since I had fallen into his camp.

I strode to Odaviing and clambered up onto his back. We lifted high into the night sky and winged our way to our destination, Skuldafn Temple, an old dragon priest temple.

~~*~~

The rush of cool air against me soothed the heat that was burning under my skin. We flew in silence, rider and beast as one, the weight of what lay ahead slipping away as I began to enjoy my time in the sky. I felt the power of the dragon beneath me and the ones that stirred within. I drew what strength I could from them.

Too soon our journey came to an end as Odaviing landed. The reality of the here and now descending like a heavy cloak once again. He lowered his neck as I slid down and stood beside him. Before us a bridge stood that lead up a series of stairs and two towers stood in silence. I could see draugr pacing back and forth. I was sure that Alduin had told them of my coming.

Odaviing motioned with his wing. “Til-there you will cross and til-there you will be met with fus-force. I nis-cannot go any further with you, Dovahkiin. You are on your own. A kul-good deed you do this sul-day.”

I turned to Odaviing and laid a hand on his snout. “Thank you, Odaviing. I know it must pain you to turn against one of your own, but what you are doing is the good deed. I will not forget this.”

I watched as he stretched his wings and lifted to the air, leaving me behind in silence. Now facing the draugr and the unknown, I moved onward.

They came on, in an attempt to thwart my advancement; weapons at the ready, shouts of defiance, but I was not to be halted. I sliced and hacked through them as they came. There was no stealth, no pausing, no emotion. I just kept moving forward, through the next enemy. Two dragons appeared overhead, screaming and releasing their blasts of fire and ice. They too fell to arrow and blade.

I made my way to the temple doors and once inside I discovered more enemies lay in wait. The draugr advanced, releasing their shouts upon me, but I answered them with mine. I cut them down as if they were they tinder for the fire and moved forward. I was faced with puzzles that once solved lead me up stairs, past rooms that thankfully lay empty. Traps lined the way before me, and more draugr that tried to impede my progress, but I did not falter.

I entered a chamber that held a puzzle door at the end but it was guarded by a draugr who once I defeated carried the diamond claw that I needed to open the door. Once the door slid into the slot in the floor, I pushed on and found myself back outside. A few more draugr waited for me and I greeted them with coldness.

Around a platform I went and spied a set of stairs. On either side of the stairs, two pillars stood and resting in wait, two more dragons. They sat perfectly still, not moving. I knew they sensed my presence, but they did not make any movement towards me.

I ran up the stairs and came face to face with a dragon priest, guarding the portal to Alduin. He stood, robes swirling around him, mask hiding his hideous features and in his hand a staff.

I groaned and closed my eyes, drawing on my inner strength and summoning the Thu’um, Fus Ro Dah.

It did not faze him as onward he came, releasing a torrent of power, and shouting his own shout trying to dislodge my weapon from my hand. He floated forward, a menacing threat, but one that I knew I could defeat.

I felt the sting from his staff as he sprayed lightning on the ground around me, my armor absorbing the brunt of it.

I summoned my Whirlwind shout and sped close to him, knocking the staff from his hand with Iyce. It clattered across the stones, away from him towards the stairs behind him and as it did I noticed the floor. It was a circular pattern with deep groves that reminded me of the floor at Sky Haven Temple. Could it be that it was a trigger that opened something? Maybe a doorway or portal? Maybe the way to where Alduin was?

I scrambled for the staff, dodging the flames and shouts from the dragon priest behind me. I ran for the stairs and saw a notch in the top platform and slammed the staff down into it hoping that my suspicion was correct.

I felt a cold chill rise up from the stones at the bottom of the stairs and the groves glowed then opened into a portal.

The dragon priest reached for me, his flames trying to burn me, but I turned to face him releasing the Thu’um and watched as he went flying down against the stones where he lay still. I rushed forward and finished him off then ripped the mask from his wretched face.

Back up the stairs to the portal I ran and I leapt hoping that this would lead me to where I needed to be.

~~*~~

It seemed as if time stood still and sped up at the same time as I was swept through the portal. Glimpses of those that I had known appeared along the edges of a glowing tunnel that twisted and turned ahead of me. Disembodied voices called out to me as I was pulled along.

I fell, through time and space and landed hard on a soft wet surface. I was disoriented, but it quickly passed.

Standing, I checked my weapons and took a moment to gather my bearings. Where was I? A heavy mist clung to the ground, extending high cloaking everything. Off in the distance I could hear a voice and I walked towards it.

I came upon a soldier, a Stormcloak who turned at my appearance.

“Go back! He is there, in the mists, he grabbed the others. Go back before it is too late!”

“Wait, who is there?”

The soldier’s eyes were wide with terror as he turned to face me.

“The world eater, Alduin. He waits in the mists and then he grabs you. I was talking to Yoggr when he took him. I ran, ran like a coward. We could not find Shor’s Hall; this damn mist is too thick.”

I thought for a moment and took hold of his arm.

“Stay close friend and I will help you. Do you know the direction of this hall?”

He pointed ahead of us.

“I think it is that way, but it is no use trying. He will find us, we are doomed.”

I shook my head.

“No, not yet.”

I summoned Clear Skies and watched as the mists parted revealing a path. We ran as fast as we could, pausing only now and then so I could shout. Along the way, we collected a couple of soldiers who had lost their way in the mists and had given up hope, but hope was renewed in them as we soldiered along. The mists continued, closing in around us. In the them I could hear the voices of soldiers, then the screams as those that I did not reach in time were swallowed by the great beast. Anger rose within me at my inability to rescue everyone, Alduin’s determination was only outweighed by my own.

I shouted to clear the mists again and as they parted we were able to see what it was that we sought; Shor’s Hall. It stood, a magnificent sight to behold. The stories of it did not do it justice. Before it stretched the skeleton of a whale that had become a bridge to it.

We were almost at the bridge when we stopped by a very large man. He towered high above me and did not offer a smile. He folded his beefy arms over his broad bare chest and stared at our arrival.

“Step aside, you will not bar our entrance to the hall.”

He threw his head back and laughed and extending one arm, he pointed at me.

“You dare to challenge me? Tsun, Guardian of the Gate? And by what right do you challenge me?”

I stepped forward, my ire rising.

“I am Dragonborn. That is my right, now step aside.”

“Ah, Dragonborn, it has been far too long since I faced one of the dragon blood. This I will enjoy. Come then Dragonborn, let us fight to see if you are truly worthy to enter the hall of Shor and eat at his table.”

I removed Iyce from his scabbard and raised him up.

“Come on then, let us share a battle.”

Steel scraped against steel sending a spray of sparks around us. His size was a threat and the weight of his swing several times almost dislodged me from my feet, but I kept my ground. I searched for an opening while keeping my distance just out of reach. This angered him and his assault on me became more aggressive. He lashed out verbally with threats and I returned them with my Thu’um, but it had no effect on him.

I managed to stagger him when I rushed him and in doing so I saw my opportunity. Quickly leaping onto a nearby boulder, I leapt up and landed on his back, my blade coming round to rest at his throat. Leaning down to his ear, I spoke softly.

“Do you now dare question my right?”

Before I knew what happened, he had reached around and picked me off his back as if I were nothing and set me in front of him. He stared down at me then threw his head back and laughed a deep throaty laugh shaking the ground around us.

“You have done well, Dragonborn, and aye, you have proven that you have the right to enter Shor’s Hall. A worthy opponent you are and I have enjoyed our battle.”

~~*~~

The doors of Shor’s Hall closed behind me as I entered and I stood admiring the spectacle that stretched out before me, The Hall of Valor.

Those that had passed to Sovngarde, were here, and one that I knew so well. He approached me, arms wide and embraced me. Tears sprang to my eyes and I clung to him.

“Kodlak, is it really you?”

“Aye, it is girl. You have come to search for those that will help you? They await you there, Gormlaith Golden-Hilt, Hakon One-Eye, and Felldir the Old. You go to defeat the worm that threatens the world.”

I nodded as I brushed the tears from my eyes.

“Do not weep for me, for I am content. Many a soul is here that I know and it was you that released me from my bond. I thank you for that again. Now go, for he approaches and time is growing short. Kill the beast and give us cause to celebrate.”

I looked to the three warriors who raised their weapons and nodded at me. It was time, time to face the world eater. 

~~*~~

The mists had returned and somehow this time they seemed thicker. There was a stillness to the air and no sound breached the mists. Warily we stood, waiting and watching for the great beast.

Raising our voices as one, we shouted and cleared the mists, but they returned, brought back by the worm that hide from sight.

Gormlaith spoke softly beside me. “A coward he is, playing tricks, toying with us.”

“Aye, he is a tricky one, but it will be his undoing.”

We raised our voices again. Clearing the mists once more but again they returned.

“Damn him to Oblivion, he will not defeat us.”

The dragons inside me were restless, their anger rising. I summoned the shout once again and this time it was met with a roar from overhead as the black brute appeared.

Quickly calling upon the Dragonrend shout, I trapped him and watched as he landed before us, wings thrashing out.

Alduin whipped around, eyes glowing red and flame spilling from his mouth. He blasted us with a shout, then raising his head to the sky, he called upon a fury that opened above us and I was immediately returned to that day at Helgen when Oblivion had descended upon us.

Chunks of rock, flame and a loud swirling wind arose, dragging us from our feet. Barely managing to stand, I let the Dragonrend shout loose again and began a volley of arrows at the beast’s head. Alduin swatted at the arrows with his wings, a deep chuckle rumbling in his throat.

"Foolish mortals, you cannot defeat me!"

His words only helped to fuel our resolve and we surged on.

Hakon One-Eye and Gormlaith sprang forward, while Felldir and I hung back, loosening arrow after arrow at the beast.

I kept shouting to keep him on the ground, but for how long I could keep it up, I was not sure, but I knew if he gained the air above us, we might lose the battle.

Gormlaith swung her weapon at Alduin’s neck and was rewarded with a spray of blood that bathed her from head to toe. Hakon attacked his wings, keeping away from the barbarous tail that smashed into the ground, sending up plumes of stones that pelted us.

Overhead the skies intensified as Alduin called upon any and all of his shouts to try and stop us.

Felldir went down at one point, but he struggled to his feet, more determined than ever.

I was tiring and for a few moments it seemed as if the great beast was impervious to our attempts. I threw down my bow and ran forward with Iyce, and sank it into one of Alduin’s eyes. He screamed in pain and managed to swing his tail around catching me. I flew through the air and smacked into some rocks at the edge of a river nearby. Blood ran down my face, blurring my vision, my ribs ached, but I was otherwise fine. Scrambling to my feet, I surged back into battle. Gormlaith attacked Alduin’s other eye, blinding the beast who was trying to take wing.

My throat parched, I managed to croak out the Dragonrend shout before he could lift to the sky. This had to end, for how much longer we could battle on, I was not sure. Swallowing my fear, I leapt onto the beasts back and clung to him, moving forward along his neck until I came to the base of his skull. Raising up Iyce, I plunged it down with what strength I could muster into the beast’s head and twisting for all I was worth.

Alduin rose up on his haunches, screaming and thrashing wildly, throwing me from my position to the ground beneath him. I rushed forward and stabbed upwards, hoping to find his heart-if he had one. I was rewarded with a thick flow of hot blood that that drenched me, blinding me in the process.

I stumbled back and felt hands grasping me, pulling me away. A good thing too because at that moment, Alduin fell down, dead.

Wiping the blood from my face, I watched as the worm began to glow and red lines appeared all along his body. A great sound arose and then in a flash of brilliant light his body imploded. There were no remains, no skeleton, no scales, nothing to remind us of his existence.

I sank to my knees and began to laugh and cry at the same time. Gormlaith, Hakon and Felldir dropped down beside me and the four of us laughed together in relief.

Tsun wandered over to us and congratulated us on our victory.

Standing up, I stared at the spot where Alduin had died, my mind questioning whether he was really gone this time for good. Only time would tell, and hopefully if he did return, I would be there to stop him.

Tsun stepped towards me and nodded.

“You do not belong here and it is time for you to return. But before you go, a parting gift I pass to you, a shout in your time of need, should you ever require it, the ability to summon a hero of Sovngarde to fight at your side.”

Hakon came forward as did Gormlaith and Felldir. They smiled and thanked me for my effort.

“But if it were not for you three then I would not have been able to defeat the worm. You were invaluable to me and for that I am forever in your debt.”

“Your debt has been paid in full, Dovahkiin, you have defeated the world eater. There is nothing more that you need repay. Someday when you return to Sovngarde, it will be our honor to sit at the table with you and raise a drink to your name and the deeds you have done.”

I turned to Tsun and nodded my head. I was ready, it was time to return.


	42. Home

_“Alduin mahlaan. Sahrot thur qahnaraan. Alduin mahlaan Dovahkiin los ok dovahkriid._

_Alduin mahlaan Thu'umii los nahlot. Alduin mahlaan. Mu los vomir.”_

Alduin is defeated. The mighty overlord is vanquished. Alduin is defeated the Dovahkiin his dragon slayer. Alduin is defeated his Thu’um silent. Alduin is defeated. We are free.

The dragons grew silent as I stood surrounded by them on every side. Paarthurnax lifted from his perch on the silent word wall and landed beside me. Soon Odaviing made an appearance.

I could sense both the loss and the relief in those dragons that witnessed my return from Sovngarde. How they would look upon me now, I was not sure. I was not sure myself what I thought.

One by one the other dragons took to wing and flew away, leaving me and two behind.

Paarthurnax confided in me, that he would try and convince the others to follow the way of the voice, but Odaviing interrupted saying that he doubted that would happen. Somehow I doubted that to. He told me then if I should ever need him that he would come if I called him. With that he rose up and winged away over the mountains in the distance.

I leaned against Paarthurnax, resting a bit before continuing my journey. I was not sure where all that would lead me, but since I had defeated Alduin, I wondered if now was perhaps the time to search for Ralof. I had given so much of myself to save the world, perhaps it could give me just this one thing.

Paarthurnax chuffed to me as I scratched his head and I told him of my hopes for the future.

“If it is meant to be, then it surely would come to pass, Dovahkiin.”

~~*~~

As I began my journey back down the mountain to Ivarstead, I knew I would not be greeted by people who would clasp my hand or thank me. There would be no banners, no songs to tell of my deed, and I found, that I did not care. What there was, was just a quiet that wrapped itself around me, leaving me to contemplate in peace what might or might not be. As I entered Vilemyr Inn, Wilhelm waved from behind the bar inquiring if I would be needing lodgings for the night. I nodded to him and added that if he had any stew I would take a bowl or two. Once I was fed, bathed and rested, I went to sit beside the river, my back against a tree, watching the water rush by, turning the sawmill’s wheel, thus turning the mechanisms that caused the blade to cut the logs. As I watched it, I came to think on how each part of what I was seeing relied on each other in some way. It was all connected; we were all connected. Everything in the world that I was in was connected in some way even by the smallest of detail. I rose from my seat, on the bank of the river, and touched my cheeks to find that they were wet with tears. They were not tears of sadness, but tears of relief, of joy. I was finished with what had become a road that I had not wanted to travel in the beginning, one that I had grown to accept and now I could finally go the route that I wanted.

~~*~~

Whiterun stood behind its’ stone walls, shrouded in a light mist and a grey overcast sky. The two guards who stood at the gate, greeted me as Companion and not Dragonborn. I dipped my head in acknowledgement as I slipped in through the gates. Breezehome stood in darkness as I approached, but sitting on the front step was Lydia, her head resting in her hands. The sound of my boots alerted her to the presence of someone approaching and as she lifted her head, I could see the strain of worry on her face disappear.

“Phenarie! I thought I might never see you again!”

She rose to her feet and clasped my arm in her hand and held to me before pulling me into a bear hug.

“Easy there, you will break my ribs if you hold me any tighter.”

Lydia released me and stepped back, blushing.

“I am so very glad to see you, I was…I was worried that I might not see you again after you left on the back of that dragon. Oh, Phenarie, it was such a sight to see, you, up there, perched on Odaviing’s back as you flew off. Tell me, you standing here, does that mean that the threat of Alduin has been stopped?”

I smiled at her and nodded my head.

“Yes, it has been stopped and yes it was a ride that I am sure I will never forget, Lydia. Now tell me, where is Farkas and do tell me of what has happened since I left.”

“I, I decided to see if the divines would hold any luck for me where he was concerned.”

I narrowed my eyes at her.

“Wait, you mean you made a deal with Nocturnal?”

Lydia hesitated for a moment then blushed again pulling at the neck of her armor and lifted out an amulet.

Lydia laughed. “No, I mean I bought this amulet from the temple in Riften to see if I could marry Farkas. Lady Mara should be pleased as I am. He said he was interested in me.”

I stepped back placing my hands on my hips. “Just when did all this happen?”

“Just yesterday. Funny, Farkas had an amulet too. He said that after you left he got to thinking and that he thought that perhaps he should not be wasting time, especially if our time was short. Phenarie, we both pulled our amulets out at the same time and then we laughed about it. So, we will be wed soon. And now that you have returned, everything is as how it should be.”

I nodded my head up and down.

“Well, I am nothing but happy for you, Lydia.”

“Thank you. So, um, now how about you? Are you happy, Phenarie? Are you going to find that man and tell him exactly how you feel?”

~~*~~

He stood, with hands on hips, watching the ships as they pulled into the safety of the rebuilt harbor of Solitude. Men scrambled to tie off the ships and ramps were heaved into place as cargo was deployed onto the awaiting carts to be delivered to the market, the open vendors, the local shops and goods specifically labelled for the Blue Palace. Business was very slowly returning to normal after the war.

Stretching his tight corded muscles, he sighed wearily as he turned back to watch those that had volunteered to rebuild Solitude after the battle. Scaffolding stood outside the walls, while men cut stones that would fortify the outer walls and guard towers. Workers toiled to clear rubble, and further away any remains of the catapults used during the battle, were being dismantled for the precious wood. Fields were being plowed, and planted with seeds for a new crop of food. Trees were being pruned of scorched branches and a prayer to Kynareth was being offered for forgiveness and hope for a bountiful crop. Off in the distance he could hear the shouts of his men as a new army was being built. He had been offered a commanding position, one he had taken with some reluctance. The thought of training more men and women who would sacrifice their lives did not sit well with him, but he knew that the battle ahead would only be a lengthy and dark one.

Ulfric still lay wounded, his actual status tightly guarded. Tullius had somehow survived barely, but both Legate Rikke and Galmar Stone-Fist had suffered death in the battle protecting a man in the end that they failed to believe in for different reasons.

There were severe losses on all sides, both of soldier and citizen. Bodies had been loaded onto carts and thus began the job of identifying them as loved ones appeared and final rites were offered. A heaviness sat over Solitude, a deep sadness not only for the loss of life, but for the dark uncertainty that still loomed ahead. There may have been a tentative cease-fire agreement, now that both of the leaders had clashed, both had recognized who was exactly behind this war and who had the most to win, but it had come to them too late. The Thalmor and only them were the bigger threat. If only both sides could put away their childish behaviors and come to an agreement and join together, then and only then could the war conclude and the path to healing could begin. After that they could, as a stronger force, take on the true enemy. And once that had been achieved, perhaps then he could return to the life that he left behind so very long before.

Word had slowly begun to spread that Alduin, the world eater, had been destroyed by the Dragonborn, leaving the world safe from his threat. It gave a sense of renewed hope to those that had lost all hope. Of that, no one was sure what had become of the Dragonborn, if they had survived the battle or not. There were tales here and there of a man or woman who purportedly claimed to be the Dragonborn and who claimed the deed done, but he knew the one that had the title of Dragonborn and he prayed to the divines that she would return, alive and hopefully unscathed.

Sighing, he then began the climb to the city and hopefully to the inn for a cold ale. It had been a long day and he was bone weary. Tomorrow would be a full day of inventory and training and some other duties newly assigned to him. As he walked along, his mind strayed over the last few years and had what had passed, but the one thing that had stood out in his mind the clearest, was the young woman that he met so long ago. He chuckled as the memories of her filled his mind. Shaking his head, he continued on up the hill to the newly stationed gates.

On the wind, he thought he heard his name and turning slowly on his heel, he looked around. No one was there, aside from the workers who were either working or changing shifts. Rubbing his face, he concluded that it must have been from being tired. A few ales and a good night’s sleep and he should be right by morning. As he stood watching for a moment, the crowd of workers behind him thinned out and there, standing with a smile on her face was Phenarie.

Ralof blinked, he hesitated for a moment, disbelieving what he was seeing, then he began to walk towards her. She stood waiting for him, a smile on her lips, waiting for him to come to her and when he drew close enough, she took him in her outstretched arms and pressed her body to his, murmuring his name.

He held her tightly for a moment, wondering if it were a dream, a trick of his mind, breathing in her scent, relishing the feel of her then he took her by her arms, holding her away from himself so he could look at her.

“Phenarie, is it really you?”

She had changed from the young woman that had nearly fallen into his fire so long ago, but it was a good change.

There may have been a few wrinkles around her eyes, a few scars, the look of a worn soldier who had seen many battles, but she was still as beautiful as the first time he had ever laid eyes on her.

“Aye, Ralof, it is me.”

He drew her close and dropped his mouth to hers and kissed her with all of the built-up passion that had been contained within him for so long. He relished in the taste of her mouth, the softness of her body in his arms and he sighed, wishing for the moment to never end.

When they finally broke apart she smiled once again.

“I have come for you, my blue-eyed soldier. To be with you wherever you go. To be at your side for now and forever.”

From underneath, her tunic, she withdrew the amulet and held it out for him to see.

Ralof studied it for the briefest of moments and then nodded wholeheartedly as he wrapped an arm around her.

“If this is a dream, I do not wish to wake for it would be the end of my happiness.”

“It is no dream, my love.”

Up the hill, they strode, arms wrapped around each other’s waists. Walking towards their future and whatever it would hold for them. Two who had seen so much since that day she had first happened upon his camp and he who had looked into her eyes and saw his future there. Two who would be one and all was right, for now.


End file.
